NEW DAY Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn Edward's POV
by 50bestfriends
Summary: 21 chapters of Breaking Dawn from Edwards point of view. Plenty back story, new scenes and romance. Hear the thoughts of everyone-even Renesmee & understand his love for Bella.  This is rated K so all you kids out there enjoy.
1. Chapter 1 Announcement

A/N Thanks Stephenie Meyer who owns all rights to the characters and I own nothing. I am not a fan of monster stories and would have never read the story had it not been for Ilyssa. I can honestly say that the love story captured me in Eclipse, the 3rd book of the series, and I was so captivated that I had to read it twice, immediately. But my daughter's favorite is Breaking Dawn and she wanted an EPOV so here I go here I go . . . Did I mention that I don't own anything Twilight and am getting no money no benefit and do not desire in any way to infringe on the rights and ownership. If you enjoy what I write then send Stephenie Meyer some money and forget about me . . .

The dialogue is used without permission and for reference purposes and maintain the consistency. All rights belong to Stephenie Meyer, whom I hope agrees with me that Edward is just a kid, hopelessly in love.

Thanks to Danceswithvampires - best beta around!

______

Unconsciousness of self is not so much unselfishness as it is the mental ability to extinguish all thought of one's self—exactly as one turns out the light. Emily Post

When I speak, I call her Bella, but in my innermost thoughts, she is always, Miss Isabella Swan. She is seated next to me wearing – actually, her clothing holds no significance to me. It's her eyes, brown pools of warmth, her smell (gentle freesia), and her good soul that hold my attention.

Certainly she is a woman of this new millennium, because I am not allowed to address her in the manner in which I was raised to. She would be called Bella, and only my silent heart would reflect the love and adoration of addressing her as Miss Swan.

In meeting her, I finally understood the obscurity of women -- that only love would reveal.

But because I am not a mortal, our love has a dark side. I am a vampire. My thirst, my fiendish desire is to taste and drink every ounce of her sweet, warm blood. The thirst is as much a part of me as my eyes, hands and legs. Somehow, the mystery of Miss Isabella Swan calmed the immortal monster allowing me a bit of control over my basic nature.

With my thirst at bay, through fragile control, I was rewarded with something better, something that only Miss Swan could reveal. Love. And by some miracle, Miss Swan honored me with the magic of her returned love.

And it is that love that has us sitting in her living room today, waiting to announce our engagement.

My human father, long ago deceased, would have considered my engagement as an acceptable and welcomed event, a rite of passage.

However, in my future father-in-law's eyes, I am much too young, as is his daughter. It is rather intriguing that I have found this most charming and mysterious woman to be my bride, just when the era has changed to frown upon marriage.

Damn immortality.

I turned my head to look at my reward for the years of waiting, and she began to twirl the engagement ring I'd given her, a ring that had once belonged to my mother. She looked at the floor, up at the wall and again to the floor. The whole time, the engagement ring circled her finger over and over.

We waited. Her nerves were on edge, unsure of her father's reaction to the news. He would without a doubt, be rather hesitate to approve, especially since his own youthful marriage failed.

Her uneasiness began to cause me to doubt our decision to marry so quickly. She would give up so much: her father, her mother, her friends, but more disconcerting, she would give up her soul because her agreement to marry came at the price of my agreement to make her a vampire.

The loss of her soul haunted me. However, she refused to allow me solace. She wanted me forever, I was too selfish to be without her.

I truly wondered how I earned the right to have someone so charming and intelligent to love me in the same way I loved her. Forever is not enough.

I glanced at her brown hair-gently lying across her shoulders, framing her beautiful, flushed face. Her looks rivaled only her presence, full of delight and brilliance. It was her scent-- something like flowers -freesia that continues to call to me--that forces the thirst to burn my throat. A thirst that will not be quenched.

Unlike the women of today, who leave nothing to the imagination, Miss Swan is unreadable. I could hear the thoughts of everyone, but her. She thinks- that something is wrong with her brain. She is mistaken.

However, today Miss Swan was obviously anxious.

I was frustrated by her hesitation, but I understood that my frustration would not help to calm her, so I focused on a diversion. I turned to look into her eyes.

"Would you like to hear how we would have courted and married, had you been a part of my life when I first became an eligible bachelor?"

"Somehow, I do not think I would have fit into your world back then," she sighed.

"Oh, but I am certain, you would have been the best of the seasons . . . offering of eligible young women," I confidently stated. Miss Swan grimaced at the words. "You know the story Rosalie told you about her life before she became a vampire?"

"Yes. She was her parents' prized daughter, and her only goal was to marry well – have a baby and live happily in a beautiful big house." She said as she settled her hands in mine.

"Well, yes - but do you remember that it was her beauty that allowed her parents' hope of a son-in-law that would raise their stature in society?"

"Oh, interesting."

"Bella, like Rosalie, my parents cherished me as well- not because of looks, but because I was their only son, and when the time came, I would take over the family business, and care for my widowed mother and unmarried sister. I was expected to carry on the family name as well, and I, through marriage, was the son-in-law that a family like Rosalie's coveted."

"Oh, that sounds rather like a Jane Austin novel," she replied.

"Perhaps it does seem like that, but that was the way of the times." I refocused my eyes on her soft lips. "I would have met you at a dance or maybe a tea, but certainly at the debutant ball. My invite was certain."

She interrupted. "Yes, I can see how you would have been invited. I guess there would have been many girls biting at the bit for a chance at you." She then started to bite her bottom lip.

"No other girl would have caught my attention. I have always waited for you." The corners of her lips curved as if she would protest. "I think you would have been introduced during the same season as my sisters."

"You had more than one sister?"

"Well, actually, I had three older and one younger. My parents cherished their daughters and pursued every opportunity to properly introduce them into society, a sure method for marriage. You and I would have met at one of the occasions, and I would have been dazzled by you." I smiled at the thought of her in a blue chiffon dress, with lace covering her upper torso, her hair swept up in a delicate pattern of curls.

"The young ladies, including you and my older sisters, would stand at the back of the room, furthest away from the entrance door, all lined in a row and each one holding a bouquet of flowers presented to them by their father. Behind all of the debutants would be a long table draped in white, overflowing with flowers of differing varieties sent by young bachelors, in hopes that their flowers would grace the hand of a lovely debutante. You would have stood near my sisters, holding your own bouquet of flowers -- perhaps from me?"

She puffed at my question, but her nervousness seemed to subside, so I continued my story.

"Guest would arrive and move gracefully to the place of introductions. Congratulations would be made to parents. Greetings would be made to daughters. You would have enjoyed the receiving line as flattery was withheld, for such intimate statements were offered by only the dearest friends of the debutants. Simple statements of gratitude at the invite and well wishes would abound as gentlemen suitors would be properly introduced to each debutant. After the receiving line ended, it would be time for me to make my move." I pulled her hands closer to me.

"Miss Swan, will you honor me with a dance, I would say, and your reply would have been-"

"Yes. But you would have been sorry the first time I stepped on your foot or made you fall," she joked.

"No, Bella, you would have fit very well in my arms, sure and steady, and all the women in the room would have been green with envy because my attention would have stayed on you despite their protests.

"I would quickly make my intentions known to you, so that you would be certain that there was no need to entertain other suitors. Once I received parental approval and affirmations of love, I would seek out your engagement ring. I would find you something simple, yet elegant, possibly an emerald or maybe a diamond. My heart would be aflutter as I presented the ring to you at our engagement party." I kissed her hand where her engagement ring rested snugly on her finger.

"We would have a short engagement, but our wedding would be the affair of the year. It would be a beautiful procession honoring our love and commitment. I would write a symphony of music played while guest arrived. The church would be covered with fresh flowers and soft candlelight. People from all over would come to see us exchange wedding vows."

"My heart would beat loudly throughout the ceremony until the part when we were introduced as Mr. and Mrs. Because at that point, no one would be able to take you away from me, and you would be happy for the rest of your life, I would make certain of that. You would be my wife until death do us part," I finished.

Miss Swan adjusted her weight towards me, "I could never live after your death; I will only marry you 'for as long as we both shall live.'"

"I do!" was my reply as I leaned over to kiss her fragile lips, holding my thirst at bay. I pulled away, raising my eyebrow. "But that was nearly a century ago, and times have changed to the point where _you_ cringe at every aspect of our wedding, including telling your parents. Perhaps, you can succumb to the beauty and majesty of it all - for me?" I said hopefully. She leaned back onto the couch contemplating my request. I waited before I continued.

"Bella, you are also a favorite child, albeit an only child. You mustn't be nervous about their reactions; it is no different than parental reactions from my time. Please relax and allow your parents to come to terms that this is a wonderful decision for you, rather than an insult and mistake - we love each other." I smiled mischievously, adding, "And if that is not enough, I can always tell them that I am financially able to care for you."

"Don't be a show-off Edward. You know they don't care about money in that way, and neither do I," she concluded with a tisk.

I heard Charlie's cruiser turn onto the street. "He is almost home," I informed her.

"Well, don't _you_ forget that I am a cherished daughter of the Chief of Police of Forks when you ask for my hand in marriage, and that my dad carries a gun!" She teased.

"You have already said yes, and you're 18 years old - I don't have to ask for your hand, Miss Swan," I replied, and she once again let out a puff of air and started to move her hand under her leg.

"Bella, stop fidgeting. Please try to remember that you're not confessing to a murder here," I demanded trying to calm not only her but myself, as well, as I pulled her hand back into mine.

The door opened, and Miss Swan's heart started to beat rapidly. "Calm down, Bella," I whispered.

Charlie came into the house. "Hi, Charlie," I called, more nervous than my voice revealed. It was at this point that I decided that I was once again that seventeen-year-old human boy, and my nerve started to stagger. I could hear his non-verbal reply to my greeting. _Doesn't he have a home to go to? _He was in a good mood today I surmised.

"No," Miss Swan whispered to me.

"What?" I whispered back trying to hear Charlie's thoughts. _That boy is always here, and I bet he's sitting in my favorite spot._

"Wait till he hangs up his gun!" Miss Swan answered.

A smile crossed my face, because even if Charlie did shoot me, the bullet would settle just under my marble-hard skin, like a splinter, causing mere irritation but easily removed like a thorn. Then I remembered that I was seventeen again; so I chuckled nervously, trying to settle my shaking free hand by running it through my hair.

_Okay, put on an act for Bella, stay calm, be polite, _Charlie thought.

"Hey, kids. What's up?"

It was my turn to speak. The moment I had waited for was finally here, I swallowed, my excitement at the wonder of Miss Swan becoming my bride in my forethoughts.

"We'd like to talk to you. We have some good news." I turned to look at my bride-to-be.

"Have a seat Dad."

Charlie pulled his eyebrows into a 'v', reminding me of the way Miss Swan looked when contemplating the unknown. _Oh, what is going on here? She is sweating and that boy looks so . . goofy, unlike his usual self-assuredness. Stay calm, Charlie, stay calm._

"Don't get worked up, Dad. Everything's okay," Miss Swan said after a moment, discounting all of my excitement. A silent shiver went down my motionless back. Then I remembered. I would be the winner at the end of this discussion. She already said yes.

"Sure everything's okay, Bella. So if everything's okay, why are you sweating bullets?"

"I'm not sweating," she disagreed, absently taking her free hand to remove the perspiration from her forehead.

_She is sweating. Oh no, he got my girl pregnant! I'll kill him! I'll kill him!_ I leaned back in my seat, waiting for the explosion of words to come.

"You're pregnant!" There it was. He said it, just as Miss Swan predicted. He would not be the only person to assume she was expecting, and we had to get married. "You're pregnant, aren't you?"

He looked directly at me when he asked, slightly moving his hand towards his revolver.

_You better not lie and say it isn't yours! This is just crazy, she is too young to have a baby. How are they going to manage? Oh yeah, he's rich, so he thinks he can take advantage of my little girl like this. He'd better man up!_

"No! Of course I'm not!" Miss Swan declared.

Charlie's thoughts cleared as his face colored. _You better be glad I believe her!_ "Oh. Sorry." He said to Miss Swan.

"Apology accepted" she said.

I waited to see if Miss Swan would save me from the fear that had held my tongue during the last few seconds, but I saw the wrinkles form across her forehead. I would have to make the announcement. I'd watch others do it, and I remembered my etiquette. I could do it. I then smiled at Miss Swan and turned my attention and body towards her father, shifting my weight forward.

"Charlie, I realize that I've gone about this out of order. Traditionally, I should have asked you first. I mean no disrespect, but since Bella has already said yes and I don't want to diminish her choice in the matter, instead of asking you for her hand, I'm asking you for your blessing. We're getting married in August, Charlie. I love her more than anything in the world, more than my own life, and by some miracle, she loves me that way too. Will you give us your blessing?"

I did it! I did it! I shared the good news, and I don't have to do anything further but wait. Being a young man in love takes guts, and I didn't let mine spill out all over the floor. I did it, and now we can move forward to the most precious union. Miss Swan was right, although understated: everything is okay.

As I finished my silent revelry, Charlie's thoughts became an urgent cry. He glanced at the ring on his daughter's finger.

_Breathe, breathe, it's okay. She is eighteen, I can't stop her, but she is so young. My goodness, didn't she run away from him because she didn't want to get stuck here in Forks? _Charlie's color started to change. He was holding his breath. _This is crazy-- a teenage marriage, just like me and Renee. Is she out of her mind? Breathe, breath. Well, at least she isn't pregnant, but she soon will be. It's okay, breathe. She just finished high school. _

Charlie's color changed again, and Ms. Swan started to rise to assist. I gently pulled her back, not sure I would be able to hold onto my own composure until he answered. "Give him a second," I whispered.

_Why do they want to do this to themselves? They can wait. Love. Look at that goofy smile still on his face._

He started shaking his head. "I should have known something like this was going to happen. I shouldn't be surprised."

He looked at his daughter. "You sure about this?"

"I'm one hundred percent sure about Edward," she quickly affirmed.

My goofy smile widened. At that very moment I was in a stupor. My Miss Swan is amazing. I was dazzled.

"Marriage, though. What's the hurry?" The 'v' appeared at his eyebrows once again as he continued to look at his only child.

"Charlie, we're going to Dartmouth together in the fall and I want to do things the right way. It's how I was raised." I replied in earnest. There was no way I would dishonor her.

_Well at least he doesn't want to live in sin with her. I can't really stop them. I can't stop them from getting married. I can't stop them from living in sin. What choice do I have but to bless the marriage? They're too young. I should have been ready for this. Why didn't I put a plan into action? Because I can't stop her from loving him anymore than I could keep them apart, they're kind of a package deal, just like she told me. Why didn't I prepare?_

"Knew something like this was coming." Charlie muttered. _Wait! Her mother! When Renee hears this, she's going to hit the roof. Yeah, I can't stop them, but maybe Renee can. _Charlie's face returned to its normal color and his eyebrows relaxed, as he formulated a plan to derail my marriage.

"Dad?" Miss Swan called concerned that his face had calmed. She turned to me, but I was unreadable, certain that the deluge of objections that Charlie expected from Renee would never come. She was already resolved about our relationship.

"Ha!" Y_eah, Renee will be able to handle the both of them._

Miss Swan jumped at Charlie's outburst. I squeezed her nearer.

"Ha, ha, ha, yeah go ahead get married, but . . ." Charlie doubled over laughing.

"But what?" Miss Swan demanded.

"But _you_ have to tell your mother! I'm not saying a thing to Renee! You got to tell her yourself!" He continued to laugh out loud.

I figured now was as good a time as any for our exit. "Thank you, Charlie." I had everything I needed, and it was time to make our announcement to her mother. I gently pulled Miss Swan up from her seat and ushered her into the kitchen. Once there, I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her. Charlie's laughter did not subside.

"Well, let's call Renee," I said, as I sat down in a chair and guided her onto my lap. I was totally focused.

"Don't you think _that_ was bad enough? Why do we have to do this now?"

"Bella, everything's – what's that seriously unassuming word you used with Charlie – okay. We can do this."

"Yeah, she wants to hear about teenage marriages just about as much as she wants to see puppies drowning in hot water."

I picked up the phone and punched the numbers. I must admit that I was afraid to tell her mother our good news. I wasn't quite sure of the appropriate way to ask someone's mother. Didn't the daughter always inform the mother, or was it the father? I didn't know, but I was sure that it was not my job to let Renee know. I passed the phone to my Miss Swan.

"Chicken," she said as she took the phone from me and placed it to her ear. My exceptional hearing meant I could listen to the conversation without having to put my ear to the phone. I waited through the initial pleasantries and finally, she choked out the words, "Mom, I'm marrying Edward in August."

There was no moment of hesitation in Renee's response.

"Well, Bella, I'm a little miffed that you waited so long to finally tell me. Plane tickets are expensive at the last minute. I wonder if Phil's cast will be off so he won't ruin the pictures because he won't be able to wear a tux –"

"Wait a minute, Mom, what do you mean waited so long to tell you? We just got --" My darling fiancée couldn't say engaged!

"We just decided today," she confessed,

"Really, that's a surprise. Today? I just assumed. . .?"

"You assumed what? _When_ did you assume?"

"When you and Edward were here back in April, I assumed it was just a get-to-know-you visit, so there would be no objections based on my 'barely knowing him.' Neither of you were hard to read. Honestly, I didn't say anything because I knew it wouldn't have mattered one bit. Once you decided that Edward was the one, you would stick to your decision. You are like your father when it comes to decisions."

My future bride leaned back into my arms, surprised at what she had heard. She continued to listen.

"You're not making my mistakes, Bella. You sound like you're scared, probably of my reaction and the reactions of others." I heard Renee giggle. "You're probably scared of what I think or what others will think. Well, everyone has an opinion on marriage, and well, my statements on marriage and stupidity apply only to me. You are a different person than I am. I'm rather scatter brained, not you. You can make a decision and it often makes me feel like the kid and you're the parent because of the way you are able to come to a conclusion. I know you can make mistakes, and maybe it would be better if you waited a little longer, but you won't make my mistakes and won't have my regrets. Commitment has never been a problem for you. Because you don't have that problem, you have a better chance at making your marriage work than people twice your age." Renee laughed again. "You were born old Bella. Luckily, you have seemed to found another old soul."

check"You're not . . . upset? You don't think I'm making a colossal mistake of my life?"

"No, I'm not upset, like I said, I'd prefer that you wait a few more years, but no, I'm not upset. I mean, do I look old enough to be a mother-in-law to you? Forget I asked that. Just remember that this is about you. Are you happy?"

"I don't know. I'm having an out-of-body twilight zone moment right now."

Renee had chuckled. "Does he make you happy, Bella?"

"Yes, but –"

"Are you ever going to want anyone else?"

"No, but –"

"But what?"

"But aren't you going to say that I sound like every other infatuated teenager since the dawn of time?"

"You've never been a teenager, sweetie. You know what's best for you."

*My Miss Swan relaxed when she finally allowed her mother's comforting words to sink in. Hopefully, this meant that there would be no more fidgeting and no more uneasiness. She would happily meet me at the altar to exchange vows.

The next few weeks were a blur. Our mothers spent countless hours making plans and organizing the entire affair. They seemed to get along without any problems, which made the time most enjoyable.

I was able to slip in and send a wedding invitation to Miss Swan's best friend, Jacob. If she had chosen him, then I would have wanted to have the opportunity to attend their wedding, to give my congratulations to the groom and best wishes to the bride. Upon receipt of the invitation, Jacob left the area. He was part of the Quileute people and his tribal bloodlines caused him to fulfill the true legend—he could phase into a wolf.

It was only Charlie that made efforts to find Jacob. He fretted over Jacob's disappearance. Jacob's father, Billy Black, was well aware that his son was grieving and in wolf form. Charlie also sulked about his daughter's impeding wedding. He avoided long conversations with us. Thankfully, he no long thought snide remarks about me. Seemingly, he focused on Renee. He found Renee's acceptance of our marriage to be the ultimate betrayal.

I was allowed to pick out a new car for my Miss Swan, because her beat-up red truck no long was able to provide transportation. I was happy to put her into a much safer vehicle. I chose a Mercedes Guardian; there was no way would she would be injured. It took a small fortune, and it had been promised to a diplomat in South Africa, so I could only borrow the car. It was not a big concern, because soon after the honeymoon, I would fulfill my promise and change my Miss Swan into a vampire. Changing her seemed inappropriate, but I had made a promise.

My wedding present to her would be a more permanent car, for when the Mercedes Guardian was no longer needed.

I also spent my time arranging our honeymoon. I tried to plan every moment, from the time we left forks to the time we returned. I knew from past experience that cold climate would chill more than just my Miss Swan's hands and feet, and only one place would be warm enough. I called and made plane, car, and boat arrangements. I brushed up on the local languages. I arranged for all our meals, including picnics and snacks. Well, actually, all her meals, because food was unnecessary for me. I watched the Food Channel and cooking network to learn to make dishes. I reviewed books on the local attractions, animals and scenery. I paused when I began to plan our nights.

On the day before the wedding, I volunteered to pick up Renee and Phil for the rehearsal dinner, in hopes that I would spend a few moments alone with Renee.

"Phil, Edward and I will be in the lobby talking. Give us a few minutes, and then come and join us." Renee said

"Thank you for agreeing to talk with me."

"Why so formal, you will soon be my son-in-law." _I can't imagine what has him so worried and how I can help him solve any problem he may have. He seems quite competent._

"I want to ask your advice, Renee. First, I trust that you will be sensitive to my discomfort in this matter, but -- I can find no one better to discuss my concerns with. This is a rather delicate matter, one that requires some discretion for both Bella and me. I trust that you would hold this conversation in strict confidence."

"Sure. What's wrong?" _What can he possible be so worried about that he wouldn't go to his own adoptive parents? They are perfectly reasonable people, who seem to absolutely adore him and Bella. It doesn't seem as though he wants to leave my daughter at the altar. Maybe he wants to postpone. _"Edward, relax. I'll help in any way possible."

"Thank you for your support, Renee that means quite a lot to me." I took a deep breath, knowing that Renee was the only person I could truly ask. Esme never spoke of her human life and my sisters never married. Yes, she would help me. "Well, you know how much I love Bella. I am dazzled by her more and more each day. There will never be anyone else for me. Bella is my one, only, and always love. I would never harm her, and would easily give my life to keep her safe."

Renee's thoughts interrupted my rehearsed speech. _Where is he going with this? I can't follow what he's saying -- why doesn't he just get to the point?_

"Well then, putting aside all modesty. How can I make our wedding night … special … I don't . . I don't want to . . ." I growled my face turning to pain, never finishing my sentence.

Renee was frozen. _My, this is surprising. It appears that they have waited to have sex. How can I explain? He'll have to be very patient. He won't be able to avoid -but forget -- if he doesn't rush. First love. Only love._ She seemed to carefully choose her words as she spoke, "I imagine that the two of you are virgins then."

"Yes – there has never been anyone else. I will never want anyone else." I didn't add that I was a vampire and that I could likely kill Miss Swan on our honeymoon. I couldn't tell her of my controlled kisses and embraces. A mere rub along her arm would bruise or even worse tear away her skin. I was so thinly controlled. I had no way of telling her how hard it would be for me to refrain from the strongest desire of a vampire, second only to thirst. Desires that would kill my Miss Swan. "I have planned all aspects of our honeymoon. It will be the happiest time of her life. In this one matter, I am at a lost."

She completely surprised me by leaning over the table and kissing my forehead. So often humans were afraid to even stand near vampires.

"Trust yourself, Edward; you are not capable of hurting her. When you think things are out of control, focus on her needs. This is a special and once in a lifetime experience for you both. Just remember, your wedding night is not a race, but a journey through your love for one another. Let Bella decide the pace you will travel, and she will be fine, you both will."

_This is so sweet…_

"Thank you." I said, pretending that I was seventeen again and that my love would protect my Miss Swan, as Renee's thoughts continued. _Wow, Bella has really found her perfect soulmate. I wonder how long it will be before their journey makes me a grandma…ugh._

We both smiled. So many secrets -- there would be no children, vampires were sterile. Phil soon joined us, cast-free, and we all walked to my Volvo and proceeded to the rehearsal dinner. "So where are you all going on your honeymoon?" Phil asked.

"It's a secret." I started the engine and headed to see my Miss Swan, comforted that my century wait for tomorrow was finally here.


	2. Chapter 2 The Short Engagement

A/N - All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer and not me. Please comment, it will encourage me to finish.

Thanks to Danceswithwolves who beta this story, you're great.

'

2. ENGAGEMENT DINNER

"Right this way." The hostess escorted us to an oblong table in the middle of the crowded restaurant.

_Some places never change, _Renee thought.

I searched the candle-lit area for my Miss Swan. I found her poised next to a nervous and unsure Charlie. She was leaning her right ear toward him, intently listening. Her hands were together, slightly tucked behind her left ear, elbows on the table. The trivial thoughts in the noisy restaurant waned, as I listened to the angelic voice of the reason for my existence.

"It's my fault he left," Miss Swan said. "I feel bad for all the trouble I've caused you and Billy."

"It's not your fault, Bells'." _If only his father would help in the search . . . maybe he thinks a sixteen-year old is able to take care of himself._ Charlie frowned. "I contacted the FBI in Seattle. They weren't interested, said Jacob was a runaway. All I know, if it were you missing – "

"Dad, don't worry, I'd know if something happened to Jacob." She promised.

"Well, enough of that." Charlie eyed us walking to our table. "We're here to celebrate, right? Besides, I don't think Edward wants to join _this_ conversation." He nodded his head in my direction, causing my Miss Swan to look at me.

Her chocolate brown eyes shined, and her lips curled up to make a smile. Captivated, my mouth unconsciously formed two things: a smile, and the prohibited venom.

She was wearing a simple sleeveless black dress. Her hair was slicked back, falling softly along her shoulders, held there by a black headband. She was fantastically beautiful, perfection personified, and soon she would be my wife.

I picked up my pace, and was next to her within seconds. I bowed, placing a kiss along her soft cheek inhaling her maddening, addicting scent.

"Charming," was the only word I could whisper without losing all of my composure by sweeping her into my arms and stealing her away.

In accordance with tradition, I reached around and held my cold hand out to Charlie. We shook and quickly released. I smiled. "Thank you for having this dinner; it's very kind of you."

"It's the only thing I've been allowed to do." _I had to find some way of contributing to the wedding. Hope I won't make any mistakes and embarrass Bella. Well, better figure out a toast . . ._

I was glad he ignored the unnatural coolness of my hand.

"Not the only thing, Dad." Miss Swan's voice was warm and teasing. "You've got to take me for a walk tomorrow."

We laughed as Renee and Phil made their greetings, and took their seats opposite of my Miss Swan. I sat next to my soon-to-be wife.

Soon, Carlisle and Esme arrived, along with Alice, and minus a human-food-fasting Jasper.

Their entry caused many humans to stare - their white marble skin, golden bronze eyes, and youthful beauty made them seem more like celebrities than small-town residents.

They reached our table, and grinned as we rose to greet them.

I stole an admiring look at my Miss Swan. Her dress irresistibly stopped above her knees, revealing her shapely delectable legs. Without glancing at her shoes, I could tell she wore high-heels - she was inches taller. She reached her delicate hand towards me. I looked into her eyes, thrilled that the beauty before me was mine. She blushed and lifted her hand to close my gaping mouth.

Soft chuckles were heard from the members of our party. I was glad Emmett wasn't here to tease us. The start of our evening together was carefree.

Alice twirled into the seat on the other side of me. _Good thing you're marrying her, 'cause it sure looked like you were about to take a big bite, _she teased. _I knew you would like that dress in black. _I nodded in agreement.

I could hear the silent compliments and happy thoughts for Miss Swan and me, as we all sat down.

The rehearsal dinner was a huge success. Charlie was glad that his toast, short and sweet, was well-received. He felt bittersweet. He would miss his daughter, but was glad for her happiness.

Charlie offered Renee and Phil a ride back to Forks, a jester of forgiveness for Renee's embrace of their teenage daughter's wedding.

Miss Swan and I decided to spend a few more minutes together in Port Angeles.

"Good night, Dad. I love you."

"I'll see you tomorrow," she said to Renee and Phil. "Be careful." As soon as the red taillights disappeared, she turned to my family. "Thank you all for eating. I know it was difficult. I can't believe you all did that."

"It was actually more for Charlie," Esme told her. "He wanted to handle some part of the wedding, and give you something. It would have been rude not to allow him this."

"He was very pleased with the entire evening," I added.

We said goodnight to Carlisle, Esme, and Alice, and walked hand in hand to my Volvo. It was early, and I had three hours before my bachelor party with Emmett and Jasper.

"Where to?" I asked.

"I'd say the meadow, but the way you looked at me earlier, I'm not sure we're responsible enough to be alone."

"Probably not a good idea in _that_ dress," I agreed. "How about some music?"

"Sure."

In no time, we were in front of a piano at a nearby restaurant. I played several songs, including the lullaby she'd inspired. We sat close together on the piano bench.

"You look very handsome. Alice?" She commented on the black suit I was wearing.

"Yes. You are breathtakingly beautiful in this dress. Alice?" It was a definite understatement, but anything more would have interfered with the music, and reminded me of my absolute, voracious desire to caress her.

"Yeah." A rosy blush formed on her cheeks.

"You packed for the honeymoon?" I asked.

"Alice." She shrugged.

"Yeah? Me too." I played another round of melodies, allowing my Miss Swan to sit quietly with her thoughts. I couldn't help but to wonder . . .

"What are you thinking?"

"Center of attention, the Denali, Quileutes, cake, honeymoon, nothing in particular."

"Is that in order of concern?"

"No. I'm worried about them all equally, but it's the order of occurrence."

"I think I understand your 'don't make a big fuss over me' concern. But what bothers you about the Denali?"

"I've never met them before, and Tanya will be here."

"They will adore you, and as for Tanya, she will be pleasant. However, I imagine she'll be more interested in the human men at the reception than our wedding."

Tonya and her sisters, Irina and Kate, refrained from the traditional vampire diet. They also preferred the company of human men; they embraced their human lovers, and the men are never harmed. Their relationships with humans made me hopeful.

Miss Swan sighed. "I'm glad they're vegetarians."

"So, why are you worried about the Quileutes?"

"Well, they'll be in a room with a dozen vampires."

"Nothing's going to happen. Everyone will mind their manners, and there's no need to worry. Now, I can't phantom why you have an issue with the wedding cake?"

"Haven't you had enough food to last you?"

I chuckled, "You think I wouldn't eat a piece of our wedding cake?"

"You said all food tastes like dirt to you."

"There are two reasons why, no matter how much distasteful food I've eaten, I will eat our wedding cake. First, when we cut the cake, it's the first task we'll perform jointly as husband and wife. Second, when we feed one another from the first slice, it will symbolize our mutual commitment to provide for one another."

"All that from a simple slice of cake?"

"That's what tradition holds."

"I guess there's nothing to worry about, then."

"I am curious, though. Why _aren't_ you worried about stumbling and dancing?"

"Oh, that's easy. I figure I hang on tight to Charlie, and once I make it safely to the altar, I'll just hold on to you. That'll keep me steady."

"Seems reasonable." I began to play a soft jazz song. It was as complicated as our relationship, syncopated improvisation.

I was hopeful that my Miss Swan finally feared our honeymoon. Had she accepted that she could die, or become permanently injured?

"What's your trepidation with the honeymoon?"

"Edward, I'm not frightened," she giggled. "I'd just rather skip all the other stuff and go straight to the honeymoon. Where're we going, anyway?"

"You'll find out soon," I teased. I'd kept the location a secret, and she'd have to wait a little while longer. My hope faded, Miss Swan never displayed self-preservation. "Big day tomorrow?"

"Yeah, but in some ways not as big as I thought."

I started playing _Bella's_ _Lullaby_ again, and on cue, she yawned. I desired to be seventeen and human, so that Miss Swan would not have to sacrifice anything to be with me. But no amount of fantasizing would separate me from the incontrovertible fact that I would never be either. As I finished the tune, my mood turned more melancholy, it was time to go.

---

"Goodnight Miss Swan."

"Goodnight Mr. Cullen." She humored me, as I walked away from her front door and got into my car. I sped home, barely taking the keys out of the ignition, and ran back to her bedroom. She was already in bed, wrapped in a quilt, her little black dress hanging in the closet, and her arms covered in a sweatshirt.

"I was hoping to get one more look at you in that dress."

"I think it is safer in the closet."

"Maybe." I slipped out of my shirt and onto her small bed, wrapping my arms around her. We were face to face.

She reached up and ran her gentle hands across my bare chest, causing me to feel a warmth of desire.

"I miss you already," she purred.

"I don't need to leave. I can stay . . ."

"Mmmm."

We began our synchronized kissing. She rubbed my arms, chest, and stomach. I kissed her hands, neck, and behind her ears. There was no thirst for her blood, just a desire to be nearer. I held warm perfection in my arms, and there was no way I would destroy that.

I looked at her face, my charming mysterious Miss Swan. What a force of love. There would never be enough words to describe the elation I've found in the arms of this fantastic work of art. She opened her eyes, rewarding me with a brilliant, warm brown gaze, and through her eyes I could see her goodness.

How could I take something so precious away from mankind?

She pulled my face to hers, and I was lost in the pleasure of her kisses.

"Definitely staying." I murmured a moment later.

"You have to go. It's your bachelor party."

"Bachelor parties are for those who are sad to see the end of their single days. I couldn't be more eager to have mine behind me. There is really no point to it."

"How true." She agreed.

I always felt uneasy staying in her room, while Charlie slept obliviously in his. It was a privilege I never would have had were I human. Longing made it unbearable to be separated from her, so I pushed away the guilt.

My bare chest made it cooler than usual, but it did not stop her from running her hands over it. An electric shock went through me, causing a delightful shiver. It was time to stop, and it would take all my strength to do so.

"Wait," she said as she snuggled closer to me throwing one leg around my waist. "Practice makes perfect."

I laughed quietly at the wonderful juxtaposition. "Well, we should be fairly close to perfection by this point, then, shouldn't we? Have you slept at all in the last month?"

We had spent every night together talking, kissing, hugging, stopping, starting; with her taking short naps in between. Vampires don't sleep. It didn't seem that she had had much sleep, though. She avoided my question.

"But this is a dress rehearsal and we've only practiced certain scenes. It's no time for playing safe."

I froze. I wasn't ready. I needed more time, she was rushing me. "Bella . . . " How could I tell her to stop? All I'd thought about since our engagement, was ways to give in to her. There was too much pressure here. Charlie would wake up. It wasn't safe. She was in control, trust her. No, she would lose control, as she always did. I shook my head.

"Don't start this again. A deal's a deal."

I struggled. She was right, I had to keep my word. But it wasn't safe. She was in control. I'd lost control. "I don't know. It's too hard to concentrate when you're with me like this. I ---I can't think straight. I won't be able to control myself. You'll get hurt."

"I'll be fine."

"Bella . . . " I was lost in the moment, she felt so good against my bare chest. She forced a shush from her lips before pressing them against mine. I was failing in my control, I pictured her in the little black dress. I kissed her and remembered Renee's words. "When you think things are out of control, focus on her needs." She needed to be safe. I calmed. Was she trying to get out of marrying me by starting the honeymoon early? No way. It wasn't time. We would wait.

"How are your feet?" I asked, hoping to refocus her attention.

"Toasty warm."

"Really? No second thoughts? It's not too late to change your mind."

"Are you trying to ditch me?" she joked.

"Just making sure." I laughed nervously, though I'm not sure she could hear the uneasiness in my voice. "I don't want you to do anything you're not sure about."

"I'm sure about you. The rest I can live through."

I paused. This wasn't right; I was taking so much away from her. A mere living through things was insufficient. It was sobering.

"Can you? I don't mean the wedding – I'm positive you will survive despite your qualms – but afterward . . . what about Renee, what about Charlie?" She was exchanging her human life for the vampire world. She couldn't keep her old life.

"I'll miss them."

"Angela and Ben and Jessica and Mike."

"I'll miss my friends." A grin crossed her lips. "Especially Mike. How will I go on without Mike?"

I growled, but remembered that her leg was still wrapped around my waist. The magic of Miss Swan relaxed and excited me at the same time.

"Edward, we've been through this over and over. I know it's going to be hard, but this is what I want. I want you, and I want you forever. One lifetime is simply not enough for me."

There was no fear or hesitation in her voice. She was certain. But did she understand that she would always be the same? My body and feelings still feel like a seventeen-year-old's. Yes, I had learned some new things, but physically, and in some ways emotionally, I have not changed since my heart stopped beating. I saddened at knowing I would never have the life my human father had planned.

"Frozen forever at eighteen."

"Every woman's dream come true," She mocked.

"Never changing . . . never moving forward."

"What does that mean?" Her voice was cautiously annoyed.

"Do you remember when we told Charlie we were getting married? And he thought you were . . . pregnant?"

"And he thought about shooting you." She giggled. "Admit it – he honestly considered it, didn't he?"

I was still. How could I get her to understand my sadness, while she joked? I was running out of time and I needed to let her know . . .

"What, Edward?"

"I just wish. . . well, I wish that he'd been right."

"Gah."

"More that there was some way he _could_ have been. That we had that kind of potential. I hate taking that away from you too." Charlie's line would end. There'd be no more Swan family members, an unnecessary sacrifice for love.

She was silent for a minute.

"I know what I'm doing."

"How could you know that Bella? Look at my mother, look at my sister. It's not as easy a sacrifice as you imagine." Look at me. I would never be a father, carry on the family name and traditions. Wasn't that the ultimate purpose of marriage? Procreation?

"Well, Esme and Rosalie are doing just fine. Besides we can always adopt – like Esme did."

She doesn't understand. My solemnest turned to utter frustration. She was too glib regarding the matter. She was still so young, just like Charlie said. Charlie and Renee would never be grandparents. I was not worth _that_ sacrifice. She'd cared for her parents; she should have an opportunity to raise her own children. "It's not right! I don't want you to have to make sacrifices for me. I want to give you things, not take things away from you. I don't want to steal your future. If I were human --"

She put her soft hands over my mouth and I quieted. "You are my future. Now stop. No moping or I'm sending you to your bachelor party. You just might need one."

"I'm sorry. I am moping, aren't I? Nerves, I guess." There was no need to discuss this further. She was resigned.

"How are _your_ feet? They must be cold."

"No. I've been waiting a century to marry you, Miss Swan. I can't wait for the wedding ceremony."

I heard Emmett's thoughts in my head. _Edward get off that woman and come on down, it's time to party. _

"Oh, for the love of all that's holy!"

"What's wrong?"

"Apparently Emmett and Jasper are not going to let me bow out tonight.

"Have fun." She gave me a last hug.

"If you don't send Edward out, we're coming in after him!" Emmett threatened, while scratching the window.

"Go, before they break my house."

I relinquished. I rolled out of bed and slid my shirt back on. One last kiss to her forehead. I'd miss her.

"Get to sleep. You've got a big day tomorrow."

"Thanks! That's sure to wind me down."

"I'll meet you at the altar."

"I'll be the one in white." Her perfect smile warmed me, and I laughed.

"Very convincing." Out the window I went, landing on top of Emmett with a loud thud.

"You'd better not make him late."

"Jasper, can you calm her down so she can get some rest?" He was able to affect moods. He shimmied up to her window. I turned to Emmett, "Well, where are we hunting tonight?"

"Don't worry, Bella. We'll get him home in plenty of time." Jasper said. I knew my Miss Swan was calm.

"Jasper? What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You're not taking him to a strip club are you?"

"Don't tell her anything!" Emmett demanded. I jumped on Emmett's back. No way would she think I was going to a strip club. We laughed.

"Relax. We Cullens have our own version. Just a few mountain lions, a couple of grizzly bears. Pretty much an ordinary night out."

"Thanks Jasper."

I glanced at her window, wanting so much to climb back up and hop through it, thought I knew it would be a futile move. I'd only be dragged back out. We started running, and I was so far away I could no longer hear her heartbeat. I turned to look behind me.

_Don't you dare think about going back in that window. _Emmett thought. _You have got to feed. Otherwise, you'll ruin your own honeymoon with that crazy vampire thirst of yours._

"Just one last look." And before he could stop me, I was at her window. Her eyes looked thoughtful. She missed me. I jumped down silently into a crouching position. Emmett and Jasper were already several miles ahead, but I caught up with them easily.


	3. Chapter 3 I Do

**I don't own any of these folks, or story line. **

**A/N - I hope you like this chapter, but the next one is even better. Please comment or add me to your alerts, it makes me want to put up the chapter's quicker -- :).**

I am humbled that this chapter has been beta'd by the insightful danceswithv a m p i r e s .

**--- **

Cha pte r 3 VOWS

They w e re right to make me hunt. It would be too dangerous to have two competing desires on my honeymoon, both of which could kill my Miss Swan.

She wouldn't be 'Miss Swan' on our honeymoon. I would have to retrain my heart. What will it be? Mrs. Cullen? No, I don't think so- it reminded me of Esme. Bella? My Darling Bella? Maybe I should focus on the hunt; my heart would have decades to decide.

We'd been hunting most of the night, my brothers allowing me to take the majority of the big game kills. We went as far as the Canadian border, and were on the way back to Emmett's jeep when Jasper remembered Miss Swan's propensity to fall. He began to laugh.

"I bet Bella will stumble at the top of the stairs before she walks down. Any takers?"

"Yeah, I'll take that bet. And double or nothing, she'll fall in the aisle, right before she reaches Edward," Emmett challenged.

My brothers were pushing the envelope, making disparaging comments about my fiancée. It didn't matter that it was true. She had difficulty walking without tripping over her own two feet. It was an adorable, benign flaw. My mood was too good to growl, but I would defend.

"Oh ye of little faith. Tomorrow, she will epitomize her name -- beautiful swan. She _will_ not fall," I countered.

"Okay, she may not fall while her last name is Swan, but I bet she will fall within an hour of becoming a Cullen!" Emmett demonstrated a clumsy step. "She is going down, it is just a matter of when!"

"She will not fall," I repeated.

"I wager that she will trip going _up_ the stairs." Jasper joined in by mocking a stumble.

Suddenly, we were quiet, as we caught the smell of a mountain lion. It was a musky, meaty smell – distinctly feline. I was soon within a few feet of the yawning cat. It shut its mouth and took off running. Its nose had picked up my scent, or perhaps it had sensed that it was being hunted. Whatever the reason, it was fast, but I was faster. In less than thirty seconds, I took my prey down and drained it.

I walked back to Jasper and Emmett. Three hundred and thirty-six hours of uninterrupted honeymoon before I would have to feed again. I was happy, excited, and if I had any common sense, I would call the entire wedding off. But all reason was gone, replaced by selfishness. I would do anything to keep her with me. Right and wrong had no voice on the subject.

I would never admit it, but a very narrow, microscopic part of my brain, felt infinitesimally hopeful over her decision to change. That irrational part, too selfish to be away from her, always rejected the belief that the decision wasn't a good one. I detested that she would never have a normal, important human life, but a cold, boring eternity.

Jasper sensed that my mood wasn't as cheerful. _Edward, Bella would not like that you were having these feelings. She made me promise to keep you happy. _Immediately my thoughts went back to her face, her eyes, her warm soft skin. The little black dress. I was happy again.

We jogged back to Emmett's off-road vehicle and climbed in to return home. Laughter shook the jeep, when we remembered the first days at the different high schools we'd attended, and the reactions from the girls and then the boys. Ultimately, we'd all become outcasts at each of those high schools. Except the last, Forks High. We were a part of the school, because of Bella.

Next, we talked about the baseball games we'd played together, and whether Bella would play when she changed.

"Yep, it will be fun to have Bella and Esme in the game. We wouldn't have to cheat unless we got Bella on the team!" Emmett's laughter was loud and infectious. Jasper joined in.

"Alright guys, lay off the clumsy jokes!" I snarled trying not to get too angry.

"Sorry, just having a little fun. Actually, I like Bella --the way she's changed you, and I can't imagine what she will be like --" Emmett looked across at me and stopped. He knew it wasn't what I'd wanted and thought better of finishing his sentence. But it didn't stop him from teasing me.

"If she ever becomes a vampire, her talent will probably be invisibility. Since her mind can't be seen now, her body won't be when she is a vampire." He started laughing again.

"No, her talent will be telekinesis. She'll move things out of her way so she won't fall over them." Jasper teased.

"Yeah, she'll have telekinesis all right, but she won't move things." Emmett could barely talk from his booming laughter. "Things will get out of her way to avoid being tripped on."

Their seats were shaking, like we were off-roading instead of on the highway, just outside of Forks.

"Funny guys. Very funny!" I growled, as I hit them both in the arms. "You both better get all your jokes out now. Remember, she'll be a newborn vampire, with newborn strength and a temper. She'll be able to wield that power against you." I humphed triumphantly, sure I got the last word.

"Yeah? But she'll be too damn uncoordinated to be effective- probably knock herself out trying to hit me." Emmett roared, and Jasper bent forward laughing.

I gave up and started counting the hours until I was alone with my Miss Swan. Fourteen uninterrupted days together, all to ourselves, alone. I'd sneak away and hunt, and then have another fourteen days of no brotherly taunting. By the time we pulled into the garage, I had figured out a ten-year cycle of fourteen days alone with my bride and one day of hunting - nirvana.

We unloaded the jeep, throwing what little gear we had in the overhead storage. Rosalie met us at the door, greeting Emmett. "Welcome home." She gave Emmett a long, slow kiss. She turned to us. "Jasper, Esme wants you to pick up Renee and Phil from the hotel."

_She's looking rather lovely, Edward, if I must say so myself. She will make a beautiful bride. _Rosalie thought of Bella upstairs in Alice's bathroom, having her make-up applied. "I just love weddings," she added. _Don't ever tell anyone I said this, but I hope yours is as happy as mine and Emmett's first. Now, don't be a moron and mess it up by sneaking up to see Bella – or else._ She smiled at the thought, and began to walk back to the house. "Think I'll go see if I can help get Bella ready."

"Thanks, Rose." I replied. Jasper and I looked at Emmett, wondering what had gotten into Rosalie, and the pleasantries toward Bella. He threw his arms up, shrugged his shoulders, and shook his head.

"Women," we said in unison.

I stepped into the glass front door. The entire open area smelled like my Miss Swan. I started to search for the source of the aroma, and realized it was coming from all around. I felt a longing in my arms to hold her. It was then that I saw the thousands of white flowers in the rooms. Roses, freesia and a few lilacs sprinkled with orange blossoms covered every table, every corner, and the satin ribbons along the ceiling.

It was a virtual garden of Miss Swan.

I would have to properly thank Alice and Esme. It was truly spectacular.

The front room had been emptied, making it nearly as large as the high school cafeteria. There was a trellis arch, covered in white roses and cream- colored satin ribbons, in the place where we would exchange vows. Cream silk covered the chairs -arranged like a fan in front of the trellis. Assortments of pallid candles were throughout the room, and I could imagine when lit, how they would shimmer against the window wall and give the illusion of twilight.

Emmett came into the room and whistled. "Esme and Alice really outdid themselves for you two." From the second floor, we heard Alice demand that I be kept out. _And don't you go reading our thoughts, either! Go occupy yourself!_ Her door slammed shut. I obediently blocked out Alice's and Rosalie's thoughts.

Esme put me to work setting up chairs and a dance floor on the back lawn. Esme had Emmett concentrate on the yard, making sure every blade of grass and leaf was in its proper place. The caterer arrived from Port Angeles and began setting up the buffet tables. Carlisle eagerly followed a series of last-minute tasks from Esme.

When everything was Esme-perfect, I found that I had an hour left to get ready, and be at the altar.

I went up to my room on the third floor, slowly passing by the second floor in hopes of hearing my Miss Swan's voice. It was her heartbeat that graced my ears. Once in my room, I confirmed our travel arrangements, and listened to a greatest love songs CD, a gag gift from Emmett. The songs weren't as bad as I'd thought.

Jasper returned from picking up Renee and Phil. He joined me in my room, having been banned from the room he shared with Alice. _Your emotions suit you Edward, it's a shame you buried them for so long. I'll be forever grateful to Bella and her influence. _

"I hope you won't mind if I change in here."_ I can soak up some happiness while I'm here, everyone else seems -- a bit . . . anxious. _He added.

I focused on the thoughts in the house, except for Alice's and Rosalie's. Jasper was correct, there was a united conscience to make everything perfect for my wedding, resulting in high anxiety. I was somewhat humbled. "Sure." I nodded to Jasper. He was welcomed to share my happiness.

The front door opened and closed several times while I slowly got ready. I knew everyone that arrived, and could hear their excitement and delight upon seeing the decorated front room. Rosalie started to softly play the piano. Soon all the guest were present.

"Esme said it's time, son." Carlisle appeared at my door, holding a set of rings. _Any last minute concerns? _

"No, Dad. I'm certain. I want her more than anything."

"She is a crown jewel."

Jasper sped downstairs, and sat in the front row beside Esme. Carlisle and I followed, and took our positions in front of the flowered arch, side by side. Minister Weber was already in place, with his back to the glass wall.

At Esme's cue, Rosalie began playing the _Bridal Chorus_, full of bravado. Alice appeared, and in measured, elegant half-skips descended the steps and aisle to Carlisle's opposite side.

My eyes returned to the staircase, and there was my love. Her wedding dress was a replica from nineteen seventeen. It was full of lace and simple silk, white. It was graceful and beautiful, but it was the bouquet that caught my eye --the bouquet I was allowed to design. I chose one similar to a debutante's. It was the size of a saucer with red rosebuds massed tightly together, sweet orange blossoms in the middle, and freesia along the last row. It was set in stiff antique white lace paper, with white satin ribbon wrapped around the stems. Her fingers gingerly enveloped the stems, and she held it close to her body. My smile suddenly appeared, releasing my deep joy.

Her other arm was linked to Charlie's, as the fanfare of the _Bridal Chorus _began.

I was disappointed to see that she was looking down. She watched each step as she glided toward the bottom of the stairs. When she reached the floor, her head popped up, eyes wide. My mouth started to drop in awe. I quickly composed myself and observed her magnificence. Her hair was swept up in an array of braids, held in place by silver combs with hints of blue.

She was exquisite.

Everyone was standing, their eyes arrested by her shear elegance. She took in the surroundings, as if she hadn't seen them earlier. She continued to look around surveying. Then our eyes met, and the color rose to her cheeks.

Charlie began to move her forward. Her march was like that of a swan skimming the lake, never making a ripple or splash. My silent heart smiled.

My hands began to tremble, but I knew I couldn't run them through my hair to rid myself of the nervousness. I thought maybe Jasper was using his talent on both me and my Miss Swan -- I calmed and willed her to meet me at the altar; she seemed to swim forward, as if she couldn't wait to meet me at the altar.

I remembered that Jasper promised that he would only observe, his gift to us.

I held out my hand. Charlie placed hers in mine. I was whole.

We turned to the minister, and the ceremony began. Our eyes never left the others.

"I do," she vowed, and I placed her ring on her finger, quickly touching her tears as I returned my hand to hers.

"I do," I said with triumph, and felt the warmth as she placed my ring on my finger.

In the end, the minister followed our wishes, as my Miss Swan had declared the day of our announcement; we vowed, "for as long as we both shall live." He pronounced us husband and wife, offering me the long awaited opportunity to kiss my enchanting bride.

I placed my hands on either side of her warm face, hoping that at this moment, I would hear her thoughts. Silence. I saw joy and happiness in her eyes. I bent forward and pressed my lips against hers.

It was the most public kiss for either of us, and my bride seemed to forget that we were not alone. She kissed me more passionately and with more vigor than I would have usually allowed. I was beyond temptation.

There were sounds from the wedding guests, including a loud, gruff throat-clearing from Emmett. Bella realized we were not alone, and I was able to disrupt our public exhibition. Our gaze remained locked together.

I won.

She won.

I took her hand, and we turned to the applauding audience. Soon we were surrounded by friends and family, wishing us good luck and congratulations. We were passed from person to person, our hands never separating.


	4. Chapter 4 Emotions

A/N - I believe in love and I believe in theirs. I don't own any of these characters or the story – All rights belong to Stephanie Meyer and the only thing we have in common is that I once lived in Phoenix.

---

I didn't want to let go of her temperate hand. It was my anchor to life, not my old mundane existence. It was her hold, our fingers intertwined that kept me from running, leaping and shouting.

The room shimmered with candle light and the setting sun. Family and friends surrounded us at the altar, with genuine well wishes and happy hugs.

Everyone was relaxed in the soothing warm breeze of fresh flowers. Our guests' high spirits besieged me with happy thoughts and love.

I looked around for Jasper, knowing that emotions must also be multiplied in him. He would be overwhelmed. _Edward, can you feel it? There is so much love in this room. A blizzard made entirely of adoration for you and Bella. I feel – I feel like I could burst._

Alice joined Jasper. He hugged her around her waist. She tipped to her toes, pulled his face down to hers, and whispered in his ear. _We are now in my very first vision. From the past; I met you here. I know you could never understand why I was able to love you so completely, knowing your history. But this -- this time, this place is how I've always seen you. You-- engulfed by love, so much so that it emanates from every part of your being. How could I not love you? _

She leaned her head back to look in his eyes. She took her hands and rubbed them across his face, as if she were wiping away tears. Then she lowered her body onto her heels, pulling her hands together, palms up. Both of their eyes looked in her hands. Through the glimmer of twilight I saw the tears glisten against her pale skin.

_Tears of love. Vampire tears._

I realized too late that their thoughts should have been their own. Their love expanded and changed them both. I left them to their private thoughts as they turned to steal away.

Esme was at my side. "Okay everyone, let's allow the newlyweds to proceed to a proper receiving line." She ushered us out the glass door, to the back yard.

The entire area was sparkling with white lights. Trees, light poles, walkways, and the open air tent all twinkled. Our guests filed into the relaxing August evening. The receiving line had formed in front of the dance floor, with my new mother-in-law and Phil in front.

"I'm so happy for you, Bella. That was the prettiest wedding I have ever seen." Renee leaned in to give Bella a kiss. She whispered, "now that you've rushed into marriage, don't rush into starting a family."

"Mom!"

Renee smiled and looked to me. "I finally have a son, welcome to the family." She giggled.

"Thank you, and thank you for raising such a charming daughter, she has the best of you and her father."

"She was born wonderful." She hugged me, and moved towards the dance floor. Phil shook my hand, and followed Renee.

We were in no hurry, we continued to receive hugs and well wishes. There was time to talk, time for laughter.

"Congrats, guys," Seth Clearwater said. He was in between his mother, Sue and Jacob's father, Billy Black. This was the first time I had seen Sue.

Sue's thoughts were rigid, she did not care for vampires. _Bloodsuckers marrying humans, what are they thinking? _She shivered in disgust.

Seth leaned forward kissing Bella on the cheek. "You look real nice Bella." She blushed in response. Seth then turned to me.

"It's good to see things work out for you, man." He shook my hand and gave me a hug. I briefly returned the hug. Sue screamed silently in her head, s_ick leech._

"Thank you, Seth. That means a lot to me." I considered Billy Black, a direct descendant of powerful magical Quileute chiefs. He inherited none of the magic. It was reserved for his son Jacob, who rejected his birth rights, which left Sam Uley to act as chief.

Tonight Billy's thoughts were conflicted. _Bella, little, Bella married. She has surprised us that's for sure. Marrying a vampire. _He pictured Bella as a seven year old, refusing to go fishing because of yucky worms. I smiled at the picture in his mind. _She was disgusted with fishing, yet she marries a vampire. Next she'll become a vampire, possibly as early as tomorrow. A bite to her will start a war, who could have imagined?_

Billy recognized that now was not the time for thoughts of war. _Well, maybe these kids can handle the breach better than I would. I'm here to celebrate with Charlie – hadn't seen him since he came down the aisle._

The queries lingered in my thoughts. Would Sam declare war when Bella was turned into a vampire? Would Jacob return and become her enemy?

I bent over to shake Billy's hand. Like Billy, I would not entertain thoughts of war. "Thank you for letting Seth come, for supporting Bella today."

"You're welcome," affirming that today was about Bella not war. I placed the nagging questions Billy intimated into another part of my mind. The answers would have to wait.

Seth merrily waved goodbye, excited at the opportunity for an all-you-can-eat buffet. Sue offered a smile to Bella, refusing to release her grasp on both Seth and Billy. They wheeled Billy towards the tables of food.

Regular humans followed the Quileute legends. It was our former classmates, Angela and Ben followed by Angela's parents. Grouping behind them was Mike and Jessica. Mike was holding Jessica's hand.

_Well, if they can get married at eighteen, so can me and Mike. It doesn't look like people are giving them too much grief about it._ Jessica's thoughts were contrary to Mike's. _ Bella looks good. I should have tried harder with her._ I refused to linger in his or Jessica's minds.

The Denali vampire clan congratulated us next. There were four here today. Kate, with long silky blond hair, was second in line. Carmen and Eleazar were next, both dark haired with a hint of olive melanin. All three stood behind Tanya who reached me first, giving me a hug allowing her strawberry blond hair to slide around my shoulders. She was a force.

"Ah, Edward," her thoughts were somewhat menacing. _You smell heavenly. _"I've missed you."

I chuckled at how unattractive I found such forward actions. I removed her arms from around me. I placed my hands on her shoulders and backed away, well aware that she would take this as a sign of rejection. "It's been too long, Tanya." I considered her refusal to come to our defense against the newborn vampires. Like thoughts of war, thoughts of resentment had no place at my wedding. "You look well."

"So do you." _Would you consider. . ._

I did not allow her to finish her thoughts to spoil the day. "Let me introduce you to my wife." I championed the words that put an end to her flirtation forever. I took Bella's hand and put my arm around her waist. "Tanya this is my Bella." I said. It was Tanya's ultimate rejection. The remaining clan members laughed lightly in response.

"Welcome to the family, Bella." Defeated she smiled a bit remorseful and reached out to take Bella's hand. "We consider ourselves Carlisle's extended family, and I am so sorry about the, er, recent incident when we did not behave as such. We should have met sooner. Can you forgive us?"

Tanya's thoughts did not betray the sincerity of her words. She was repentant for her poor actions a few months back. _Congratulations Edward, she is quite breathtaking. Do be careful with her, she is human after all._ I nodded my understanding.

"Of course," Bella's heart raced as she continued. "It's so nice to meet you."

"The Cullens are all evened up in numbers now. Perhaps it will be our turn next, eh, Kate?" Tanya was poised, as she moved forward to allow her family to greet Bella.

"Keep the dream alive," Kate said a bit embarrassed by Tanya's little show. Kate took my wife's hand. _How warm._ "Welcome, Bella."

Another hand was placed over Bella's "I'm Carmen and this is Eleazar. We're all so pleased to meet you." Carmen and Eleazar sealed their welcome with gentle smiles.

"Me too," stuttered Bella.

_More humans behind us! _Tanya thought as she looked at the huge stares from Charlie's deputy Mark and his wife. She turned to my Bella, "We'll get to know each other later. We'll have eons of time for that!" Tanya laughed and the Denali clan moved on.

Before we knew it, Esme had us cutting the four-tiered wedding cake. We gently pushed cake into one another's mouth. This was one piece of food I cherished to swallow.

My wife's beautiful bouquet was tossed right into Angela's awaiting hands. I followed my wife's lead, with a wink. I removed her garter, very carefully with my teeth. It was shot directly into Mike Newton's surprised face. Hopefully, he'd get the obvious hint and focus on Jessica.

From the dance floor the sound of violins started. The slow melodic tune _At Last _sung by Etta James began. I took my wife's hand, and pulled her to the dance floor. I wrapped my arms around her waist, bent my head into the crook of her neck, and pressed my cheek to hers. I twirled her around, as lights from cameras flashed. As the song ended, I sung in her ear, "_for you are mine at last."_

"Enjoying your wedding party, Mrs. Cullen?"

"Mmm." She looked into my eyes. I saw happiness in hers, "That will take a while to get used to."

"We have a while." I kissed her and a firework of camera flashes exploded.

The traditional dances continued. Charlie danced with Bella, and I danced with Esme.

"Everything is wonderful, Mom. Thank you so much."

"My dear sweet boy, I should thank you. You have been a wonderful son, Edward. I only hope if you two adopt, you will be just as lucky." With a few twirls and spins, we glided across the floor. Next, I danced with Renee, while Bella danced with Carlisle.

Soon the floor was full of dancing couples.

Mike took the opportunity to dance with the bride. I heard his horrid thoughts. _She feels as good as she looks. _I cut in.

"Still not that fond of Mike, eh?" Bella asked.

"Not when I have to listen to his thoughts. He's lucky I didn't kick him out. Or worse." I reminded myself that this was not the time for anger or jealousy.

"Yeah, right." She answered as if she had no idea how absolutely gorgeous she was.

"Have you had a chance to look at yourself?"

"Um. No, I guess not. Why?"

"Then I suppose you don't realize how utterly, heartbreakingly beautiful you are tonight. I'm not surprised Mike's having difficulty with improper thoughts about a married woman. Alice should have made you look in a mirror."

"You are very biased, you know."

When will my wife ever accept the fact that she is gorgeous? I turned her around to the wall of glass. I pointed to her reflection.

"Biased, am I?"

We both looked at the dark-haired beauty. Her eyes shone bright and wide with the love that filled the evening. Her dress sparkling white flowed around her figure. She stood graceful and statuesque, a wonderful sight to behold. She blinked as if she didn't recognize herself.

_Okay Leech, you're right. I want the opportunity to wish her the best!_ I stiffened when I heard Jacob's loud thoughts. Why does he make it so difficult? Remember tonight is not the time for animosity.

"Oh!" This will make her happy. I grinned.

"What is it?" she wondered.

"A surprise wedding gift." I began dancing her towards the edge of the floor.

"Huh?" She asked. I didn't answer her question, mainly because Jacob's thoughts were still screaming in my head.

_You invited me here, now you don't want me to see her? You afraid she may still be in love with me? Blood sucker, where are you?_ He paused._ Look, I just want to wish her good luck. I won't make a scene; I'll even be polite to you in front of her. Just let me see her, and I'll leave._

I danced her out of sight of the guests. We walked beyond the huge cedar trees into the wooded area. It was too dark for her to see anything.

"Thank you. This is very" I controlled my anger and concentrated that tonight was not a time for fighting. ". . . kind of you."

"Kind is my middle name." His voice came from the darkness. "Can I cut in?"

My wife recognized the voice. She threw her hands to her chest, nearly causing her to lose her balance. I held her firmly.

"Jacob!" There were tears of relief in her voice. "Jacob!"

"Hey there, Bells." _Why is she so happy to see me? She just got married_.

I moved her into the darkness, and waited for Jacob to take her hand. They embraced and I realized that I would allow them to share a few minutes alone. It had been several months since he had been in human form and his emotions seemed on edge. I would try and monitor the packs thoughts rather than Jacob. I didn't want him to take advantage of my thought reading by screaming more insults. A quick glance through the forest, confirmed that Sam and some of the others belonging to the wolf pack were within distance. I could hear their unified thoughts. Jacob was well monitored, my wife would be safe.

"Rosalie will not forgive me if she doesn't get her official turn on the dance floor with the groom." I spoke softly. Then I left them.

I found Rosalie inside the house facing the glass wall. She stood still admiring the entire atmosphere and her own reflection. _A perfect wedding._

"Care to dance?" I didn't wait for an answer but took her by her hand and led her to the dance floor.

_This doesn't mean that we're best friends, but I'm glad she made the choice to have a wedding. She seems happy about it too. We'll be better friends, I think."_

"That's all I'm asking. Cautious acceptance." I swung her into a dip, raising her head slowly to the waltz. I'm sure we were the center of attention. "You know, it's not her fault." I defended my wife.

"I know. . . it's just that . . she really has a way of making things more fascinating." She flowed gracefully into a spin and returned to my arms. "She is – oblivious, a child. She can't fathom the sacrifices she's making. All of us want to be human, except her. Such a waste." _We'd all make different choices._

"I understand --I feel the same way too. The only difference is that I'm just too selfish to be without her. Someday I will have to answer for my egotism and what it did to her."

"Yes, perhaps you will. I'm sure she will forgive you though. Her love for you is imprudent enough."

"Yes."

"Well, you don't have to worry about it today. She makes a beautiful bride. I'm glad I was here to share it with you two." _Vicarious living. Kind of fun._ The song ended.

"I think I will go find Emmett, maybe plan another wedding or just the honeymoon." Rosalie sauntered away.

I turned to look for Alice and Jasper. I found them on the dance floor rocking slowly from side to side, their eyes locked on one another, even though the music ended. They looked up, and saw me staring their way.

"Well Edward, let's dance before it's time for you to go claim your wife." Alice said as Jasper let go of her waist. He shook my hand. _I'm happy._ He thought as he tapped me on the shoulder. He left Alice to dance with me.

"Is he okay, Alice?"

"Yes. Just an epiphany. He is becoming more . . . more vegetarian, let's just say." We both smiled. He had always had a difficult time with our diet. His first decades as a vampire were filled with human and vampire eradications. It was his violent upbringing that he fought to keep at bay.

"You see Bella coming back from her dance with Jacob okay?"

_Missing her already? _"I cannot see her at this moment, but, yes. In five minutes, I see her dancing in your arms, both of you resplendent."

"Good." I knew I might not have a chance to thank her later. "Thank you for the wedding Alice. It was brilliantly done. I don't think I could have gotten her to agree to this, if not for you."

"You know I love you both. It was a joy to do this for her, to sort of live a human life, a life I never knew or had. Besides, this wedding was also about Jasper."

"Thank you. You have made a lot of people extremely happy today. You did make one error – a big one in my estimation."

Her trilled voice was a bit agitated, "Edward, I can't imagine what could have been better." She quickly considered alternatives. "No, I don't know what you are talking about, everything was perfect – I missed nothing!" She smiled absolutely certain.

"Yes, you did Alice." I said in a playful tone. "You didn't show Bella, what all the rest of us could see."

"How could I show . . . oh, a mirror!" She considered the – mistake. "Yes, I should have shown her, she is stunning!"

"Yes. Stunning." I continued to dance with Alice. I monitored the wolf pack's thoughts. _It looks like he is going to lose it. Leah! Seth! Get over there. _It was Sam barking orders.

I spoke quickly to Alice, so fast that a human would have thought I was singing. "Alice, Jacob is losing it. He's very upset. I've got to go to Bella. Have Jasper and Emmett stand by."

"I still see the two of you dancing." She replied quickly. I didn't wait to see if she went to gather up Jasper and Emmett. I took long, quick strides off the dance floor, hoping no one noticed my inhuman speed. I focused in on Jacob's thoughts.

_Bella! Have you lost your mind? You can't be that stupid! Tell me you're joking!_

I could hear Bella's voice. "Jake – stop!"

I no longer cared whether anyone saw my quick pace. I rapidly moved, and stood beside my wife. My eyes saw his fingers wrapped tightly around her arms. There were tear flowing down her face.

My hands automatically clawed and I held my ground, my anger controlled. An attack now would injury my wife. I would wait until Jacob released her.

"Take your hands off her!" I challenged, urgently. His body was shaking, as if he were attempting to phase, but his emotions were too erratic. I could hear Sam and Leah in wolf form, growling behind Jacob. If he phased, Bella would be injured. I quickly scanned his thoughts. _A real honeymoon—you disgusting, filthy parasite._

_No Jacob, let her go!_ Seth Clearwater had his hands on Jacob's shoulders. "Jake, bro, back away. You're losing it."

Jacob loosened his grip on Bella, but didn't let go. _This can't be happening. This wasn't supposed to – I just came to wish her the best. I-_

"You'll hurt her," Seth whispered. "Let her go."

"Now!" My anger barely contained. I couldn't believe I had trusted this immature child with the most precious thing in my life. The pack was unreliable as well, they deferred too much to Jacob, even though he was not the Alpha leader. No matter how much he denied his birthright, he was the leader of the pack. Even Sam seemed to succumb to Jacob's wishes.

My threatening growls, along with Seth's pleas, were successful. Jacob released Bella. I swiftly replaced my hands where his had been, and moved my wife behind me - away from him. I turned back to face Jacob and his thoughts. _I will tear you apart limb by limb and burn the pieces myself._

He was no longer in the same place. Seth had grabbed him and was moving him towards the woods. Two wolves were now in between me and Jacob. _We won't hurt you, we will take Jacob away. Now is not the time for a fight._ Sam reassured me.

Jacob had other ideas.

"I'll kill you." Jacob shook with anger soon his body would have no choice but to change into his wolf form. "I'll kill you myself! I'll do it now!" His body began to convulse.

I welcomed the opportunity to avenge the harm he'd inflicted. I had promised him that if he ever returned her to me injured, he would have his bones broken. It was time for him to answer for his violence.

Seth was wrapped around Jacob, pulling him away from me. I knew if I could attack Jacob before he phased, the battle would end quickly. I would not have to kill him.

"Seth, get out of the way," I demanded.

Seth ignored my order and yank Jacob further towards the woods. "Don't do it, Jake. Walk away. C'mon."

The large black wolf, Sam, joined Seth in forcing Jacob away from us. Jacob disappeared from view._ A real honeymoon! You will kill her and you know it. Keep your hands off her you sad excuse for a husband! You're not human! You're not! What are you thinking? What is wrong with you?_

I relaxed my stance. Bella was at my side. "I'm sorry" she whispered.

"It's all right now, Bella." I rubbed her arm, comforting her, amazed at how quickly my anger had subsided—wondering whether Jasper was near.

Only one wolf remained in the area, Quil. _Sam wants you to know that tonight is not the night to break the treaty. If you kill her, we will attack. If you bite her, we will attack._ I could only nod my understanding. Quil left hurrying to catch up with his pack.

"All right. Let's get back."

"But Jake –" she retorted.

"Sam has him in hand. He's gone."

"Edward, I'm so sorry." Tears began to run down her cheeks again. "I was stupid –"

"You did nothing wrong --" I couldn't tell her how close I was to harming her precious Jacob.

"I have such a big mouth! Why would I . . . I shouldn't have let him get to me like that. What was I thinking?"

"Don't worry." I said it more for myself than for her. I wiped the tears from her face. "We need to get back to the reception before someone notices our absence."

"Give me two seconds." She would be a trooper. I was grateful that the entire confrontation occurred in the dark, away from guests.

"My dress?" She wondered.

"You look fine. Not a hair out of place."

"Okay. Let's go."

I took her by the waist and walked her back onto the dance floor. We twirled and blended right back into the crowd. I was barely gone two minutes. I spotted Emmett and Jasper standing at the end of the floor. _Everything all right Edward?_ I smiled in their direction and then looked down at my wife.

"Are you –"

"I'm fine. I can't believe I did that. What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing is wrong with _you_." I assured her. I recalled Jacob's words. I am wrong to think that I can be a human husband to her. I could kill her. Could I control my passion enough to keep her safe? I had no idea what would happen, but in so many of the vampire myths, the human woman never survived the liaison. Why would I believe I could keep her safe? She was so fragile. Either she would die or be bitten. Both would mean war with the wolves. A war, with casualties on both sides.

"It's over. Let's not think of it again tonight." She said with absolute determination.

I heard her but I couldn't easily agree. We needed to talk about the reality of our marriage. I wasn't a seventeen year old human boy but a one hundred and twenty year old beast—a monster unable to control his passions. She wouldn't be safe with me.

"Edward?" She called my name searching for reassurance. I wouldn't be able to respond the way she hoped.

I touched my forehead to hers. "Jacob is right. What am I thinking?"

"His is not. Jacob is way too prejudiced to see anything clearly."

I closed my eyes not wanting to see the waste that I was causing. I was too selfish. I was risking her life. I haven't been reasonable. I am making the wrong decisions. My lips started to move "he should kill me." I knew she must have heard me, as did my brothers.

"Stop it!" She demanded.

I couldn't let her talk me out of doing the right thing. She must not be harmed. I opened my eyes to tell her my decision. Her eyes were locked on mine, with fierce determination. I wouldn't be able to resist.

"You and me," She said. "That's the only thing that matters. The only thing you're allowed to think about now. Do you hear me?

"Yes," I resigned. She was resigned. There would be no review of the choice.

"Forget Jacob came. For me. Promise that you'll let this go.

Tonight was not the time for war, resentment, anger, animosity, sorrow, fighting, or regrets, I would let those things go. For her. For now. "I promise."

"Thank you. Edward, I'm not afraid."

"I am."

"Don't be. By the way, I love you." Her velvet voice was reassuring.

She was dazzling. "That's why we're here." I mustered up a smile for her.

_No moping you dope. You need a moment to re-group your thoughts. Go see Carlisle._ Emmett was at my shoulder.

"You're monopolizing the bride. Let me dance with my little sister. This could be my last chance to make her blush." Emmett laughed, allowing us to release some of the stress from our encounter with Jacob.

I relinquished my bride and went to search for Carlisle. _He is sitting in the great room._ Emmett informed me as if I asked.

I found Carlisle sitting in a wedding chair facing the glass wall. Jasper was next to him. "I always thought my sense of control was based on suppressing my emotions. I see differently now." Jasper commented as he got up to leave.

"Today has been an emotional time for us all." Carlisle said. He greeted me more warmly than I deserved. Obviously, Carlisle knew everything that happened with Jacob, even my death wish.

"What am I thinking Carlisle? I can kill her." I pleaded in hopes he would talk some sense into my head. I sat down.

"Edward, I don't think that is possible. When your thirst for her was suppressed, and you accepted her love, it changed you. You have had opportunity after opportunity to take her life, and each time you controlled yourself. Her love has changed you. You have the human patience, desire and love to keep her safe and that will overrule any vampire desire."

"How can you be so sure Carlisle?"

He seemed to have a twinkle in his eyes when he spoke again. "Because I know you have a soul son."

I turned to look out of the glass wall at Bella dancing. The lights sparkled all around her. I sat there with Carlisle refusing to think past what my eyes captured. I would trust Carlisle's words, not because I believed them to be true, but because I wanted them to be.

Esme joined us and sat on the other side of Carlisle. They held hands watching my wife dance with her father.

Charlie was interrupted by another guest. Charlie came into the house and joined us, sitting closer to the window wall than the rest of us. _My Bells is happy. Seems like she just moved here, and now she is leaving. Sure can get used to having her around._ He chuckled at how his life had changed since her arrival in Forks less than two years ago. "I'm not disturbing you all am I?" He asked.

_I'm going to miss her. Really, miss. . . her._

"Of course not, Charlie." Esme said in her calm welcoming voice.

Charlie turned to Esme and Carlisle, "I wanted to . . . to thank you," he began.

"It was our pleasure." Carlisle interrupted, well aware how hard it was for Charlie to express his feelings. "We hope you don't mind, but we consider Bella our daughter, as well. She is a most precious child. Edward will take good care of her." I was certain Carlisle said the last part for my benefit, as well as Charlie's.

Charlie's eyes began to water over and he barely whispered out the words, "Thank you."

"I will do everything in my power to keep her safe, Dads. I will bring her home, before we start Dartmouth so you two can check on my progress," I vowed to them. Everyone seemed to laugh softly. I knew it was my turn to thank my new father. "Charlie, I will be forever grateful to you – for Bella. She is – my life." Nothing more needed to be said.

Soon my brothers and sisters came into the room. Each one touching me, as they took a seat, giving me their thoughts of support, love, and encouragement. Eventually, even Renee and Phil joined us. We were a family; and -- our family had grown today.

We all sat together watching Bella twirl around on the dance floor, not falling but happy. She was spectacular to watch.

It was Alice who broke our silent moments of reflection. "You have one dance with her before she has to get ready to leave for the airport."

I didn't need further urging. I sped to the dance floor and claimed my wife. She was stellar. I knew my family would be enjoying our final dance of the evening. _As Time Goes By _sungby Michael Feinstein began to play.

Our dance was very slow, barely moving, yet intense. She placed her head on my shoulder and I pulled her closer in my arms. I was complete.

"I could get used to this," she said.

"Don't tell me you've gotten over your dancing issues?

"Dancing isn't so bad –with you. But I was thinking more of this," she pressed in closer – "of never having to let you go."

"Never." I declared and I leaned down to seal it with a kiss that was similar to our dance – unhurried and passionate.

_Time to go Edward. Songs over._ It was Alice, just as she promised. I decided to ignore her. I knew I would have to let my wife go, but I fought it. She was so irresistible. Alice turned her attention to Bella.

"Bella! It's time! Do you want to miss your plane?" Alice was next to us now, twilling softly in our ears, but loud enough to cause an amusing scene. "I'm sure you'll have a lovely honeymoon camped out at the airport waiting for another flight." My wife didn't move.

I turned my face slightly towards Alice. "Go away, Alice," and returned to kissing my bride.

Alice continued to focus on Bella. "Do you want to wear that dress on the airplane?"

Bella was unresponsive. Alice's temper began to rise, and she focused on me. "I'll tell her where you're taking her, Edward. So help me, I will."

That sister of mine. I froze. She knew it would ruin my plans if Bella found out where we were going. Bella would ask all kinds of questions and -- no she couldn't find out. I turned my head glaring at my sister, acknowledging that the battle was lost. "You're awfully small to be so hugely irritating."

"I didn't pick out the perfect going-away dress to have it wasted." She retorted grabbing my wife by the hand. "Come with me Bella."

Our guests chuckled as Bella was dragged out of my arms. I felt like something was missing. I shrugged my shoulder towards my family that were still sitting in the chairs at the wall and headed upstairs to change. I could still hear the comical exchange between my wife and sister.

"Sorry, Alice" my wife apologized.

"I don't blame you, Bella." Alice sighed. "You don't seem to be able to help yourself."

"Thank you, Alice. It was the most beautiful wedding anyone ever had."

I went in my room and changed clothes. Jasper had already taken the bags and put them in the car. The car would be brought to the front door. I looked around the room no longer a bachelor pad, knowing it would be awhile before my return. I was happy. I was leaving under the best of circumstances. I went to the bottom of the stairs to wait for my bride. Close friends and family lingered with me.

Bella started down the stairs with our mothers on either side. There were kisses and tears. "Goodbye Mom. I love you."

I held out my hand to help her down the few remaining stairs. She was preoccupied, she began to search the faces of our family and friends.

"Dad?" she called. Her departure would be incomplete without a good bye to Charlie.

"Over here," I answered. I led her through the crowd of well wishers to the back of the room along the glass wall. He was secluded. Tears were in his eyes. I resisted the urge to hear his thoughts, he obviously needed his privacy.

"Oh Dad!" My wife hugged her father and her tears flowed. It was probably the most display of affection they had shared since she was a child, neither of them big on exhibition.

"I love you forever Dad. Don't forget that."

"You too, Bells. Always have, always will." They kissed one another on the cheek.

"Call me."

"Soon." She promised.

"Go on then. Don't want you to be late."

She turned to me and I put my arm around her shoulder and guided her back through the crowd.

"Are you ready?" I asked.

"I am." Her brown eyes smiling.

We made it to the door. I kissed her one last time for the benefit of family and friends. Applause erupted followed by a storm of rice. I shielded my wife from the down pour of rice, I could barely feel it, but I knew she would. We made our escape to the car and I helped her inside. I ran to the driver's side and quickly took my seat.

Her face was turned to look out of the passenger window. The rice stopped and she rolled down her window and poked her head out. She waved to our loved ones. "I love you." I allowed the car to slowly roll away as she continued to wave.

When she could no longer see our loved ones through her tears, she leaned back into the car. I reached over and squeezed her hand. I was thrilled that she enjoyed our wedding, and didn't want it to end. "I love you." I told her.

"That's why we're here." She scooted closer to me, leaning her head on my shoulder. I let the sound of her heartbeat keep me planted to reality, even when the haunting howling began. I knew she could hear it. I squeezed her closer to me and her heart was the only sound that mattered. I turned the car onto the highway and sped to our honeymoon.


	5. Chapter 5 Welcome to Isle Esme

This is one of my favorite chapters in the book, mainly because of how well Stephenie Meyer wrote it. My version is not half as good—I recommend you skip mine and read the book. But if you've got nothing better to do, I hope you enjoy. All rights belong to Stephanie Meyer.

----

It was a quiet ride to Seattle, both of us making a careful catalogue of our wedding day. My vampire memory was far more capable of retaining every detail of our wedding than Bella's. We arrived at the airport in plenty of time to catch our flight.

"Would you like something to eat before we board the plane? Rosalie packed you a small snack." Rosalie was holding true to her promise to befriend Bella, something I welcomed. Bella on the other hand, remained shy and a bit cautious. I'd be miserable waiting for the next one hundred years for my wife and sister to warm to one another.

"Sure." She nibbled her sandwich. "Was your wedding everything you'd hope for?"

"More because of you. I can't imagine there's a happier groom anywhere."

"So it's true, you're gladly mine to keep."

"I'm yours to do with as you wish."

"Wow. I've married prince charming!"

I wasn't going to argue with her warped belief of who I was. I was far from a prince, but I would willingly attempt to be that for her. There was nothing more important than to allow her to live happily ever after.

I smiled realizing she still had no idea where we were headed. She finished her sandwich. There was no noticeable curiosity in her eyes. We walked to the gate and she was able to note our destination.

"Houston?" she asked.

"Just passing through," I smiled. We boarded the plane and took our first class seats. We lifted the armrest between us and Bella snuggled in close to me. She closed her eyes but didn't sleep. I asked the steward for a blanket to keep her warm.

"Honeymoon?" The steward asked.

"Yes." I was too happy to not dazzle the steward. Her thoughts were appropriately re-directed to the single guy behind us. I was grateful the steward left us alone.

I continued to catalogue the wedding and reception. I spent very little time on Jacob's temper tamper, having resolved that Carlisle's advice was correct.

I am not capable of harming Bella. Even before I knew her, before I loved her, from the first moment I smelled her scent, the monster was contained and unable to harm her.

Our plane landed safely and I escorted my wife to the international concourse. Her curiosity peaked.

"Rio de Janeiro?" she asked.

"Just passing through." I told her. We boarded the plane and found our seats. Her stomach started to remind her that she hadn't eaten much. I pushed the call button for the steward. We were served a chicken breast atop a small salad along with a drink. Bella ate some of it absently, drinking the juice slowly.

She excused herself to the bathroom. While she was gone, I requested a blanket. She returned and laid her head across my chest. She was sleep within seconds. I listened as she whispered in her unconscious dreams, repeating our vows, trying her new name and using words like perfect, spectacular and magnificent. I gloated.

It was a long flight to Rio. I spent most of the time reviewing the many adventures I had planned for us and listening for her unconscious words. We deplaned and walked hand in hand to find our luggage on the conveyer belt. A skycap came to our assistance and I requested a taxi, speaking Portuguese. He led us through the double doors and down the wide sidewalk. An old model Ford Taurus yellow taxi pulled up and the skycap loaded our luggage. A tip was his reward.

Bella was wide eyed and appeared alert, however she was still quiet. I couldn't imagine that she was still thinking about the wedding. I wanted to ask her thoughts, but I enjoyed the anxious adventure we were taking. I spoke in Portuguese, telling our taxi driver our destination and requested he take a turn around the southern part of Rio.

It was a warm night around 75 degrees even at nine o'clock in the evening, perfect for sightseeing with a vampire. I pointed out the _Copacabana _and the hotel lined beaches that hugged the city.

"That's Hotel Chupão" I indicated the newest hotel on the beach.

"It's beautiful, are we staying there?"

"No, I just thought you'd like to see one of Esme's architectural designs." I didn't mention that Esme owned the hotel as well and had named it commemorating the love bite she received from Carlisle.

"Really?"

We passed the hotel and continued to the marina. The taxi driver set our luggage on the curb.

After settling the fare, I grabbed the bags and led my wife down the boat ramp to the speed boat, aptly named _Forever love._ The vessel was made for high velocity, with the head of the boat shaped like the nose of a bloodhound, pointing forward. I confirmed that the craft had enough provisions and fuel to last for several weeks.

I loaded our two large bags in the warm redwood cabin of the boat. With a swift kiss I picked up my wife and carried her onto the boat, smiling the entire way. She started to complain but I had counted three stumbles since our departure from Washington, and I wanted to avoid all accidental falls. "It's my job to carry you to our honeymoon." I told her.

There weren't many people around the marina, in fact the ones presents were either asleep or engaged in festivities.

I prepared the boat for departure, checking the unnecessary emergency communications equipment—I was certain I could swim back to the mainland, with Bella on my back if anything happened. I checked the engine and the indicators were all green. Before I pulled the boat out of the dock, I gathered up a life preserver and set it beside Bella. She dutifully put it on.

I secured the anchor and chain hole plug. Once all things were in order, I started the engine and steered the small yacht out of the marina, heading east for the open ocean, the wind blowing our hair and a warm mist spraying our faces.

I was at ease in the warm night of South America and so was Bella. There were no clouds in the sky and the rich smell of the ocean and starry night comforted our departure into the dark waters.

My wife sat in the back of the speed boat, observing the lights of Rio disappear. I took a short break and turned to watch the wind blow through her hair. I enjoyed her scent mixed with the ocean. It was fresh and vibrant.

I knew her curiosity would peak soon and I subdued my urge to ask what she was thinking.

"There's nothing between here and Africa is there?" She asked. The lights of Rio were a dim glow and the bright stars along with the shining moon were our only light. The directional arrow on the instrument panel pointed east, but I doubted that Bella could see the gage from where she sat.

"We're not on our way to Africa." I smiled gazing at my own magnificent brown eyed angel. The dim taillight glowed behind her framing her body. I was humbled that she was mine, in every way possible.

She held onto the edge of her seat as I moved the power arm forward, increasing our speed. The sky was bright with stars and it suddenly dawned on me that shortly I would try to make love with her.

I considered my concerns and that my wife might have some trepidation as well, but I had plenty alternative plans for our evening upon arrival at our destination.

"How much longer?" she called out from her seat.

"About a half hour." I reviewed my mental notes I had made over the last few weeks. I coaxed myself into calmness.

I could see the edges of our destination.

"Bella, come here." I called to my wife to join me, and reached out my hand to help her maneuver forward to the steering wheel. Carefully. She mustn't fall into the ocean.

She stood in between me and the wheel. Her hair was dark from the ocean spray. I pointed out our destination, realizing that her human eye sight might not allow her to see it for a few more minutes.

"What am I looking at?" Bella leaned her weight back onto my chest allowing me to steady her stance. I was delighted to have her in my arms.

"Just keep looking." We got closer and her body shifted forward as she began to recognize the outline of an island.

"An island?" She sounded surprised. "We're honeymooning on an island?"

"It's called Isle Esme." I confirmed.

"Named after your mother?"

"Yes, a gift from Carlisle. Esme agreed to allow us to borrow it. I thought the secluded warm temperatures would be more comfortable for you."

My wife allowed her weight to fall back onto my chest again. I breathed in the aroma of the night. Her hair, her scent, the ocean all a symphony of smells any human or vampire would enjoy.

I drove the boat around to the Southern point of the island to the boat ramp. Within minutes we were anchored safely to the dock and I was once again free to be myself.

I grabbed our luggage in one hand and lifted my bride in the other. In one easy step we were off the yacht and headed up the dock and path to the front door of our temporary home.

"You know you don't have to carry me from the boat. Over the threshold is all that the tradition requires."

"Just want to be thorough." I enjoyed cradling her in my arms. The closer she was, the better.

The cleaning people had been on the Isle earlier so I was certain that once we reached the door, I would be able to illuminate our surroundings. As planned, I turned the knob, pushed the door open and flipped the lights on.

I carried my wife over the threshold.

I sat the bulky luggage down on the floor. I held onto my wife enjoying the warmness in the air and the heat coming from her human body. I carried her throughout the open space of the great room, turning on lights so she would be able to find her way when she walked through the house.

We walked by the kitchen noting the calm blue walls and built in cook top surrounded by marble counters. We passed three unused bathrooms and four luxurious bedrooms. The house was a smaller and similar replica of our home in Washington, only the beach house having one long sprawling floor so that each bedroom had a view of the white sandy beach with the crystal blue ocean on one side and the island on the other. The rooms were connected on the island side by a glass walled hallway with small benches and places to sit in front of the walls.

The colors were those of many beach houses. Muted and pale shades of cream white, blue and some yellow. After the tour, we returned to the largest bedroom with a big white bed, surrounded by netting, and I set my wife on her feet. We both looked out the double window doors and saw the moon shining along the sparkling sandy beach.

I was suddenly nervous. Killing her wasn't the only thing that frightened me. Would I be patient enough? Could I control the monster, when he most needed to be corralled? Was she scared?

She trusted me wholeheartedly. Would I betray her faith in me?

This is the girl, my Miss Swan, my lamb, my Bella, my wife with whom I wanted nothing more than to share a physical intimate love with, safely.

"I'll . . . go get the luggage." I stuttered, less anxious for the minutes to pass.

When I returned with the bags, I realized I had forgotten to open the windows in the bedroom. Bella had removed her cerulean silk jacket and small drops of perspiration were rolling down the back of her neck, pooling on her top. I dropped the luggage and opened the windows. "It's a little hot here, I thought that would be . . .best."

"Thorough." Was her quiet reply, her voice sweet and gentle.

I walked over to her and removed the droplets of sweat with my cool hand. Her heart rate jumped.

Keeping my hands busy, I placed her luggage on the stand and unzipped it for her. I placed my luggage on the other stand.

I wanted to reassure. "I tried to think of everything – that would make this . . . easier." I didn't tell her that everything included a rehearsed script, that was no longer available for help. I was too wound up seeking perfection. Moreover, instructions for a human and vampire honeymoon were ludicrous.

"I was wondering," considering various options for relaxation, "if . . . first . . . maybe you'd like to take a midnight swim with me?" Oh. That didn't sound too threatening. "The water will be very warm. This is the kind of beach you'd approve of."

"Sounds nice." She agreed.

"I'm sure you'd like a few moments to be human . . . it was a long journey."

She nodded in accord. I brushed my lips along the side of her neck, blowing cool air. She gravitated her body towards the cool air flowing from my mouth. It was electrifying to feel her warmth at my lips. I chuckled out of my own uneasiness, sending more cool air to her neck.

"Don't take too long, Mrs. Cullen." She leapt as my cold breath and words caused her shoulders to chill. My lips soon followed the cool words and I kissed her shoulder. "I'll wait for you in the water."

I unpeeled my shirt and left it in the room as I opened the French doors that led directly onto the white sand beach. I walked to a palm tree that leaned along the ground before shooting up towards the moonlight. I took off all my clothing and hung it over the palm tree. I walked into the water, allowing it to warm my body.

I stopped when the water was just above my hips and waited. I went through the advice given by Bella's mother and my father. At that very moment I was absolutely positive that we were unconditionally and unequivocally in love with each other.

I gazed up at the moon. I remembered all the nights we had spent together and reconciled that they all had led to this one night. I relaxed my mind and emotions. There was no need to place additional pressure on myself.

We were at the pivotal moment of our love. There had been endless discussions that pointed to this instant. Our emotional roller coasters of loss and reconciliation had directed us here.

Could a vampire caress human and leave the woman intact? Could a human take on a vampire and find the man inside?

There was truly only one way to find the answers. We would take the singular path that would determine whether our love was strong enough to continue in this whirlwind of love.

I didn't know the answer but I knew that together, my Bella and I, would discover what some only dreamed about. We would do the only thing left to do -- try.

I blew a sigh of reprieve as I welcomed the sound of her footsteps across the beach. She stopped briefly at the palm tree and she stepped into the water wading toward me.

I was relieved that she didn't shiver or find the water too cold. Her heart beats were steady and sure. Her breathing was balanced and her pace through the water was graceful.

She stopped beside me, placing her hand over mine as I waved it through the water. She looked up to the same sky that I gazed upon. "Beautiful." She said.

"It's alright but I wouldn't use the word beautiful." I answered and turned to look at my wife. "Not when you are standing here in comparison."

She placed her other soft fragile hand over my heart. Sure and certain. I, however, trembled.

"I promised you, we would try." My nerves took over my voice. "If I do something wrong – if I hurt you – you must tell me at once." I placed my free hand over hers. She nodded her promise.

I led her a little further out into the ocean. She came willingly, "Don't be afraid. We belong together."

"Forever." I agreed and we started to swim, our bodies floating.

***

The sun rose and with the first light, I had a sense of fulfillment and delight. I could feel my warm Bella sleeping soundly. There were no moans of despair and she lay content.

I recalled every move and touch we made. I also remembered that at times I was not in control of myself. I knew there had to be at least one bruise, along her lip. When we kissed, she continued to press closer and closer and I bruised her when I attempted to move my lips to her neck.

There was no need to delay the survey to ensure my recollection was correct. I lifted my head and saw her arms. What I beheld made my still heart sink. I saw the bruises along her arms. Both arms! I raised the sheet that covered us and looked along her back. To my utter horror there were more bruises. There was a long reddening line from the middle of her back along her shoulder curving down toward her side.

Every caress that I'd made, left evidence that I'd lost control. My dry tears welled in my eyes. My breathing became a pant from the heaves of air my lungs expressed. Shame and despair descended on me like the rays of sunshine coming through the window.

There would be no more of this damage to her! She must be changed before the next time. On this, there was no compromise. No amount of dazzle, pleading or womanly tricks will alter the fact -- I am not a monster. I would not abuse her.

I began to stroke my hand along the blemishes, hoping that my cool body would reduce any swelling or discoloration. I listened to the flow of her blood to confirm that there was no internal damage. I established that her injuries were only light bruising, no serious damage. It looked worse than it actually was, I knew.

I continued to treat her arms, and blew my cool breath to spots elsewhere. I rubbed my hand gently along her back, stopping to add extra coolness to the long rising whelp.

It soon became apparent that there was little I could do to prevent the natural course that the contusions would take. They would turn purple and blue and after a week or so they would fade away from yellow. It would be a reminder that I was more vampire than man.

My wife began to stir. She wiggled closer to me. I'd seen her wake hundreds of times and she never woke upset. She always was excited to find herself in my arms. I would make today no different because I wanted tomorrow to be no different.

I persisted to cool the bruises on her back with my hand. I traced each one lightly. She was more fully awake now. She began to explore my chest and shoulders. She laughed.

"What's funny?" I asked.

Her stomach growled and she chuckled again. "You just can't escape being human for very long." I fought back dry tears at her words. I was broken for the harm I had caused her fragile human body. I fixed my gaze on the canopy above the bed. She sensed that something was not perfect.

Her body popped up and she looked at my sadness. "Edward? What is it? What's wrong?" Softly she asked, full of concern.

"You have to ask?" How could she ignore the pain? The bruises were warmer than the rest of her body.

She didn't respond. She brought her eyebrows together forming the familiar 'v' along her forehead. She was still quiet. I tried unsuccessfully to read her mind. Was she angry? Hurt? Disappointed? I ran my finger along her brows. It was frustrating not knowing her thoughts. I relented, "What are you thinking?"

"You're upset. I don't understand. Did I . . . ?"

I looked at her bruises and closed my eyes tightly eager to block out her damage. "How badly are you hurt, Bella? The truth – don't try to downplay it."

"Hurt?" She began a survey of her body, stretching muscles and tendons. I observed carefully, looking for any sign of muscle strain or worse, broken bones. Her body seemed to respond more slowly than usual, only the bruising was out of order. She just needed to tell me where she hurts so we could treat her. Her next words surprised me.

"Why would you jump to that conclusion? I've never been better than I am now."

"Stop that!" I ordered. She would not let me off the hook. I could see the damage. Why would she ignore the obvious?

"Stop what?"

"Stop acting like I'm not a monster for having agreed to this." I waived my hand along the length of her bruised body.

"Edward!" Her voice changed to an angry whisper. "Don't ever say that." Her eyes were full of hurt.

"Look at yourself, Bella. Then tell me I'm not a monster."

"Why am I covered in feathers?"

Damn down pillows. "I bit a pillow. Maybe two. That's not what I'm talking about." My voice rose.

"You . . . bit a pillow? Why?"

I couldn't stand her feigned ignorance any longer. I took her hand and gently stretched it in front of her eyes. "Look, Bella." Only my voice was rough, "look at that!"

There was immediate recognition in her eyes. Her eyes outlined the large bruises along her arm and followed the path across her shoulders and down her sides. She brought her other hand around twisting her arm, discovering more contusions. She pressed her finger into one of the discolored areas and we watched it fade and then discolor again upon release. I then placed my hand over her left arm matching the pattern of her bruises to each of my fingers.

"Oh" she murmured.

"I'm . . . so sorry, Bella. I knew better than this. I should not have –" I lost my voice to the uncontrollable sobs coming from my throat.

Once I gained my composure, I continued. "I am more sorry than I can tell you." I leaned back ashamed and hid my face under my arm. The silent, wet less tears never flowed.

She was very still. After a moment she touched my arm gently seeking my face. I couldn't look at her. She tried unsuccessfully to dislodge my arm.

"Edward." She said my name.

This is where she would tell me off. I took a breath and waited.

"Edward?" She yanked on my arm. I knew she would try to convince me that this was not a big deal. My wife always downplayed my mistakes.

"I'm not sorry, Edward. I'm not! I can't begin to tell you how happy I am." She paused, "happy doesn't do justice to how I feel. Don't be angry. Don't! I'm really f—"

I cut her off. "Do not say the word _fine_. If you value my sanity, do not say that you are fine."

"But I _am,_" she said each word as if it were its own sentence.

"Bella, don't." I could not allow her to trivialize her injuries and how I had wronged her.

"No. _You _don't, Edward." I could hear the anger in her voice. I moved my arm to look at her, ready to accept retribution for my behavior.

"Don't ruin this. I am happy." She whispered.

"I've already ruined this." I said coolly.

"Cut it out." She demanded.

I gritted my teeth in total frustration. She was upset with me because I was upset. No -- my wife wasn't rational enough to be upset about the contusions growing on her body, she wanted to be upset because I was taking responsibility for my actions. I'd disappointed her, lost control and she had trusted me.

"Ugh! Why can't you just read my mind already? It's so inconvenient being a mental mute!"

There she goes again, saying something so tangential. What could she mean? It would be easier if I could read her thoughts, yes, but why now? "That's a new one. You love that I can't read your mind."

"Not today."

"Why?"

As if in total exasperation, she threw her arms up in the air and landed them palms up on my chest. The sound of the smack lingered.

"Because if you could read my thoughts then all this drama would be completely unnecessary, you would see how happy I feel right now. Rather five minutes ago. I was perfectly happy. Totally and completely blissed out. Now – well, I'm sort of pissed to tell you the truth."

"You should be angry at me."

"Well. I am. Does that make you feel better?"

"No." I moaned. "I don't think anything could make me feel better now."

"That! That right there is why I'm angry. You are killing my buzz, Edward."

I shook my head and looked to the canopy. My wife was a lunatic. She never behaved as a normal human would. Was she happy with the pain and trauma I caused her body? What was she saying? I couldn't figure out where her 'bliss' came from. She didn't enjoy ---

"We knew this was going to be tricky." Her voice sounded more rational as she interrupted my line of reasoning. "I thought it was assumed that – well, it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. And this is really nothing." She rubbed her fingers along her arm.

That's when she began to sound more delusional. "I think for a first time, neither of us knowing what to expect, we did amazing. With a little practice –"

I bolted up and looked her dead in her face. "Assumed? Did you expect _this_ Bella." I pointed to her body. "Were you thinking it would be worse and we still went through with it? Do you consider this a victory because you are still alive and breathing? No broken bones – that equals success?" She was not thinking reasonably. I continued my silent rant. She was out of her mind if she thought this would be repeated. Practice my foot. I don't think so, not while she was still human.

I lowered my body back down onto the bed. This was horrible and there was no way to make it better. We would just have to wait until she had a more durable body. We waited all this time, a few short weeks more wouldn't matter. We would have eternity. I relaxed my body, knowing she would not be injured again, even if she considered the situation a success.

She had waited for me to resolve my issues and then she spoke.

"I didn't know what to expect – but I definitely did not expect how . . . how . . . just wonderful and perfect it was." She started to blush pulling her eyes down into her worried hands. "I mean, I don't know how it was for you, but it was like that for me."

For the love of everything holy, she was focused on my enjoyment? That is not the issue! I lifted her chin up with my finger "Bella, is that what you're worried about? That I -- didn't _enjoy_ myself?"

"I know it's not the same. You're not human. I was just trying to explain that, for a human, well, I can't imagine that life gets any better than that."

I considered that if I were human, she would have no doubts about my enjoyment. She'd forgotten how much of a man I am with her and the pleasures she brings. There would never be anyone for me, just her, and in terms of that part – it was a success.

"It seems that I have more to apologize for. I didn't dream that you would take my angst to mean that last night wasn't . . . – the best night of my existence. But I don't want you to think about it that way, not when you were . . ."

She began to smile, her eyes bright "Really? The best ever?"

I could tell that I needed to explain more to get her to understand that the pain I caused was a disappointment and unrepeatable. I brought her face to mine, "I spoke to Carlisle after you and I made our bargain, hoping he could help me. Of course he warned me that this would be very dangerous for you. He had faith in me though – faith I didn't deserve."

She started to interrupt me but I quickly placed two fingers over her lips.

"I also asked him what _I_ should expect. I didn't know what it would be for me . . . what with my being a vampire." I deleted that I wouldn't have known being vampire or human.

"Carlisle told me it was a very powerful thing, like nothing else. He told me that physical love was something that I should not treat lightly. With our rarely changing temperaments, strong emotions can alter us in permanent ways. But he said I did not need to worry about that part – you had already altered me so completely." Her strong love and adoration had changed me, making me more human, at least that's what I thought.

"I spoke to my brothers, too. They told me it was a very great pleasure. Second only to drinking human blood. But I've tasted your blood, and there could be no blood more gratifying to me than _that._" I paused to gather my next words. "I don't think they were wrong, really. Just that it was different for us. Something more."

"It was more. It was everything." My wife concurred.

"That doesn't change the fact that it was wrong. Even if it were possible that you really did feel that way."

"What does _that_ mean? Do you think I'm making this up? Why?" Her tone rose higher as she asked each question.

"To ease my guilt. I can't ignore the evidence Bella. Or your history of trying to let me off the hook when I make mistakes." Then my wife did something so unexpected.

She put both hands on either side of my face and pressed her forehead to mine. She spoke with absolute conviction and authority: "You listen to me, Edward Cullen. I am not pretending anything for your sake, okay? I didn't even know there was a reason to make you feel better until you started being all miserable. I've never been so happy in my life – I wasn't this happy when you decided you loved me more than you wanted to kill me, or the first morning I woke up and you were there waiting for me . . . Not when I heard your voice in the ballet studio--" I shuddered at the thought of her near death, all because I challenged a vampire, an expert tracker. She didn't allow me a word, she continued -- "or when you said 'I do' and I realized that somehow, I get to keep you forever. Those are the happiest memories I have, and this is better than any of it. So just deal with it."

She was then sad. I brushed my finger over her frown. "I'm making you unhappy now. I don't want to do that."

"Then don't _you_ be unhappy. That's the only thing that's wrong here."

All my plans to make this the best honeymoon ever would be wasted if I allowed this unhappiness. "You're right. The past is gone and I can't do anything to change it. There's no sense in letting my mood sour this time for you. I'll do whatever I can to make you happy now." I gave her a weak smile, sealing my commitment.

"Whatever makes me happy?"

She was relentless. I could not give her that enjoyment until she changed and I was in no mood to discuss that again. Thankfully her stomach growled.

"You're hungry." I swiftly leaped out of bed. A cloud of feathers stirred around me.

Her curiosity stirred as well. "So why exactly did you decide to ruin Esme's pillows?"

I was already dressed and began to rub the feathers out of my hair. "I'm not sure I decided to do anything last night. Just be glad that it was the pillows and not you." I recalled the exact moments of pleasure when I bit the pillows, it was a stimulating memory. I couldn't resist forcing a grin across my face. Damn lucky it was the pillow.

She got out of the bed and I could see the full extent of the damage. There were bruises covering her entire torso. Only a few spots of unblemished skin were visible on her upper body. I looked at her legs and gasped. There were black and blue contusions there as well and along her cheek bone. I had to turn away from the carnage.

"Do I look that hideous?" She sounded giddy! She went into the bathroom and stood in front of the full length mirror taking inventory of the bruises. She groaned.

She was in pain, I went to her side immediately, "Bella?"

"I'll never get this out of my hair." She pointed to her head full of feathers.

"You would worry about your hair." I murmured and relaxed somewhat. She was not in pain. I began to help her remove the feathers at vampire speed.

"How did you keep from laughing at this? I look ridiculous."

I found nothing to laugh about this morning and now looking at her in the mirror, there still was nothing to laugh about. She may make light of this if she so desires, but this was a serious breach of acceptable behavior on my part. I wouldn't make her unhappy, but I sure wasn't about to laugh about the damage I caused either.

"This isn't working." She stopped pulling the feathers out of her hair. "I'm going to have to wash it out." She pressed her body against mine "Do you want to help me?"

Her attempted seduction would not work. "I'd better find you some food." I turned and zipped out of the bathroom and into the kitchen.

I heard the shower come on and I began to make breakfast. I shredded cheese and put the bacon in the pan. I shook my head often, trying to remove the picture of my wife's body full of the contusions I caused. "Bella put on something that will cover up most of those bruises," I whispered to myself.

I found her some bread to make toast and dropped three slices into the toaster. The bacon sizzled and started to turn brown. I placed a small glass of juice on the breakfast counter in front of the stove. I then poured her a glass of milk.

The bacon was done and I removed it from the pan. I sliced a fresh orange and added a few blueberries to a plate. When I heard the shower turn off, I cracked opened three eggs and began to beat them swiftly. Added salt and pepper, placed a clean pan on the stove, added butter, and turned on the heat. I could hear her going through her suitcase to find something to wear. I poured the egg mixture into the hot pan. Soon the cheese omelet was done and I slid it onto the plate just as she walked into the room.

My wife had on a white cotton dress, probably sleeveless, but she had a pink shear top over it that covered nearly all of her arms. The dress was long, nearly to her ankles and she had a pair of flip flops on her feet. I placed her plate on the counter and turned to add the plate of buttered toast. She was barely in her seat when she began eating.

"I'm not feeding you often enough."

"I was asleep. Hey this is really good. I'm impressed, especially since you don't eat."

"Food Network." I was glad my preparations were working out so well, at least when it came to cooking. I had made her happy with breakfast and I relinquished a smile.

"Where did the eggs come from?"

"I asked the cleaning crew to stock the kitchen. A first for this place. I'll have to ask them to deal with the feathers . . ." I don't want to go back into that room, the scene of the crime. Had it been another person that had bruised her, they would be dead now—seeing as though it was me, I will have to deal with my banishment.

She finished every bit of food I had served. "Thank you." She leaned across the counter and kissed me. I pressed my lips to hers and remembered the bruise along her cheek and lips. I leaned away.

"You aren't going to touch me again while we're here, are you." Her words stung me. I would always caress and hold her. I didn't want to do anything but touch her.

I wouldn't touch her like I did last night, not until she changed -- certainly not for my physical pleasure. It wouldn't matter if she was human or vampire, I would never touch her again in any manner that would cause her injury. Never. I raised my hand to gently touch the undamaged side of her face.

"You know that's not what I meant." She whispered.

I lowered my hand. "I know. And you're right. I will not make love with you until you've been changed. Even then, I will never hurt you again."

---

A/N – A shameless self-plug for the one shot of how Edward and Bella rekindled their romance, its rated M and called Breaking Dawn Isle Esme.


	6. Chapter 6 Resistence Is Futile

I don't own anything. All rights belong to Stephenie Meyer

--

I was happy to be alone on a deserted island with my bride. It was our fourth day on Isle Esme and the sun was shining brightly, when just the night before there had been a horrible storm. Bella sat next to me and we looked out the French doors at the sandy beach and saw debris that had been tossed by the winds. I wished the previous night's storm had been our only dark cloud.

Unlike the bright new day, there was no fresh reprieve from Bella's bruised body. I had battered nearly every part of her body on our honeymoon night. I'd lost control of my desires and was more forceful than her delicate skin could handle. I couldn't blame the monster that I was for the horror that I inflicted. There were no exigent circumstances for my actions, the bruises were the only evidence I needed. I was less than the gentleman than she needed me to be and I would not harm her again. My self-imposed sentence was abstinence. Bella would have sentenced me to unadulterated indulgence, but she wasn't exactly impartial.

During the night, lightning hit one of the generators. It was a mere inconvenience, moving around the dark with flashlights, but the loud howling wind made the storm rather haunting. We were used to rain storms, living in Forks, the wettest place in North America, but the high winds were a different story. Bella had braved the trudge outside with me to switch out the generators, because she didn't want to be left behind.

When we returned she voiced her concerns. "Shouldn't we stay away from the windows? Won't the wind break the glass or something?" Bella's eyes were wide with fear looking out the glass walls as the wind whipped around debris.

"No. The winds are barely 30 knots, which is nothing more than a strong breeze, and the house is built to withstand hurricane force winds, about 150 miles per hour. We're perfectly safe." I assured.

"Hmm. Do you think it's safe enough for a bath then?"

"If you'd like. Do you want me to run one for you?" I was excited for an opportunity to distract her from the strong gale, but I wasn't foolish enough to join her in a romantic bath.

"No thanks, I think I can manage." Bella's words were curt, probably because she understood I wasn't planning on joining her, "but it would be nice to have a few more candles."

"I'll see what I can do." I leapt out of bed. I went straight to the pantry by the kitchen. I used my keen sense of smell to locate candles. Unfortunately I couldn't smell any wax. "No candles in the pantry," I yelled down the hall.

I did locate a bottle of wine, but since we were both underage, actually only Bella was too young, I was immune -- I settled for a bottle of Evian and a wine glass. I also prepared her a snack tray of chocolates and fruit.

I could hear Bella scoot down the hall into the luxurious bathroom connected to the white bedroom. I hadn't been in the room since we moved out of it. I had bittersweet memories of the room, but where ever Bella went, I wouldn't be far behind. So I braced myself, as I went into the bathroom. There was an intoxicating smell of jasmine and green floral in the air.

"I found some candles." Bella said in her normal voice, knowing that I would hear her no matter where I was in the house.

"I see." She was startled by my sudden appearance.

I leaned against the door jam with a bottle of Evian and a wine glass in one hand, and tray in the other. My wife was a marvelous sight. She wore a spaghetti strap silk green nightgown that shimmered when she moved and made her ivory skin glow. "I thought you might like something cool to drink and a snack."

"Thorough." She replied. She stumbled over to the door and planted a kiss on my lips. "Thank you." She said.

"You're welcome." I returned her kiss and squeezed around her into the bathroom. I set the glass, tray and bottle on the floor near the steps leading into the bathtub and lit the tea candles. "I'll be in the other room."

"You're not joining me?" Bella pouted, obviously attempting to dazzle me with her puckered lips and disappointed eyes.

"This isn't the ocean and I'm sure you'd prefer a warm bath." I was certain she picked the large sunken bathtub because there was plenty of room for two. A bubble danced on my fingertips, reminding me that Bella was just as fragile. I shook my head.

Bella took a deep breath and exhaled. "So, if there were a way for the bath to stay warm, would you join me?"

"Probably not, Bella. I'll see you when you're done." I chuckled at her attempt at seduction, she might have succeeded had her bruises been invisible.

"Oh. I think I'd rather we stay together." She batted her chocolate brown eyes and shivered.

"Don't be silly, stay and enjoy your bath. Nothing is going to happen." I thought how I'd like to stay as well, but wouldn't. "It's not like I can go anywhere." My smooth voice was full of love.

"I know. It's just that I've been rather distant and I've missed you." I turned and looked at her with confusion. She had been distant the last couple of days, but I couldn't figure out her goal for saying that. Was she apologizing, frightened, or a confession wrapped in seduction? How I wished I could read her mind.

Before I could ask, Bella continued. "Never mind, I'll join you when I'm finished. But just so you know, there's a heater built into the tub to maintain the temperature, so you're invited."

I didn't answer. I simply kissed Bella's forehead and walked into the bedroom. I sat on the edge of the bed and a swirl of feathers flew around me, reminding me of the night, _that_ _night_. My perfect memory had a gap of several minutes. I'd have to talk with Carlisle about my memory loss, but I was sure it had more to do with phenomenal passions rather than any illness. It didn't matter what the cause, I wouldn't become lost again, not until she was less fragile.

I listened to Bella slip into the soapy water and I recalled the warmth I felt when she held me and kissed my lips. An enormous rush of excitement swept through my mind at the thought of our embraces. I halted my thoughts, it was better not to dwell on such things. I decided that Bella would enjoy some music so I went to the small sitting room. I sat down at the piano and began playing soft melodic tunes.

I could hear Bella's soft, even breathing. I went into the lavishness bathroom, the bath water was still warm and a thick layers of bubbles covered everything but Bella's face. I stepped into the tub and picked her up, she'd fallen asleep. I wrapped a towel around her and carried her back to the blue bedroom.

She smelled warm and floral, like the bath bubbles. I placed her gently on the bed and went to find her some sleepwear. Unfortunately, the only thing I found was high fashion lingerie that would require a rocket scientist to put on. Alice!

_I can't sleep with her undressed, and I'd hate to wake her._ Ultimately, I dressed her in one of my t-shirts, hoping she wouldn't mind that I hadn't found appropriate nightwear.

I put my arms around my wife and held her through the night. Neither my cool body or the warm night seemed to bother Bella, she slept soundly. I waited anxiously for an unconscious word or sound, but it was her heart that he heard. It was the most significant sound in my life. I counted the beats, and softly rubbed her alabaster skin. She gently snored, forcing warm air over my chest. I was happy. It would be morning before she uttered a sound.

When Bella woke up, she was amorous beyond belief. She rolled over on top of me and began kissing me passionately. I pressed my hand into her side to remove her when she startled me.

"Stay very still." She said and locked my eyes on hers. Her voice was alluring, demanding.

I felt a false sense of security, we were dressed and I was in control of my desires.

"I. won't. go. too. far." She whispered.

"Too late." I moaned. She was moving in ways that only an experienced dancer would know. I was enjoying myself and I couldn't move. I realized that my voice could still work, I was just about to ask her whether I should remove her or would she move willingly, when she rolled back onto the bed. She then shook her head and sighed.

I turned over on one elbow and captured her gaze. "I'm not sure we should chance doing that again until you're changed. That was one of the most erotic experiences of my life." I tried to sound reasonable and sure, probably telling her more than she could handle. It had made me hungry for more, but I couldn't risk a repeat of _the_ night.

"Don't worry that was more irritating than I can handle. I won't try again."

I let out a sigh. I'd hurt her feelings again and she was unhappy. Perhaps, I misunderstood? "It seems our experiences were quite different."

"I wanted all of you, not frustration." She confessed.

"Hmm, well." I fell back onto the bed and looked up at the ceiling. _Well, maybe our desires are similar,_ I thought. She snuggled her head onto my chest and I kissed her head. "It won't be much longer. Please be patient, and you'll never be so dissatisfied."

She was very quiet and I wasn't sure what she was resolving, but it didn't matter. We would not make love until she had a more durable body.

"Bella, where are your regular pajamas and underwear?"

"I don't know, you dressed me!" There was a bit of irritation in her reply.

"Yes, I know but I couldn't find anything that wasn't . . . complicated."

"Oh," She giggled. "I never moved them from the white room dresser. So that's why I'm only wearing your t-shirt. I thought it meant something more."

"I'm sorry I misled you. I should have put you in a pair of mine, I've got several brand new pairs, but I didn't think of it until just a few minutes ago." I listened to her heart race and couldn't imagine what I'd said to make her so nervous. Of course, I asked. "What's got your heart beating so fast?"

"It's probably better if I keep it to myself."

"Bella, you know I'm going to pester you until you tell me, and you know you will." I didn't think we should have secrets or be afraid to share our feelings, actually, I didn't think she should.

"Fine." She sat up in bed and spoke with fury, "I've had to deal with my crazy teenage hormones for the last four days. I can't make them go away and I think you can, but you won't."

"I can't." I felt terribly guilty about denying her, but I would not risk hurting her again. I pulled her close to me. "Please be patient."

"That's just it Edward, I can't be patient. I don't want to control myself. I want to make love with my husband. Honestly, I don't know why we can't keep trying."

"Be reasonable. This is the most joyous time of my life and yet the most difficult. You've got to know, I was just as dangerous on that night as I was when you first came into the science lab at Forks High School."

"No, Edward you weren't." And as if to prove her point she reached over and kissed me with such fervor, that were I to resist, I'd break her heart. So I carefully delighted my wife with kisses, soft embraces and whispers of love. Eventually my wife was much more at ease, radiantly relaxed, and I was able to readjust our positions. There was no need for me to further venture into dangerous temptation.

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing, Bella?"

"I pushed you too far."

"I enjoyed myself, Bella." It was _my_ name she'd whispered. "When will you understand? Your actions are beyond reproach." Why did she concern herself with my unworthy desires?

"But you didn't _really_ enjoy yourself?"

"It seems you are unaware, I recover quickly."

"Oh!" She rolled out of bed, and then in such a low murmur that I'm sure she didn't think I could hear her, she said, "I wish I did too."

Bella went to take a shower. When she finished, her breakfast was ready and on the table.

"Are we going out today?" She asked looking out the window at the island.

"We can go cliff diving, if you'd like."

"I'll pack a lunch." She included two books in the lunch sack, I couldn't figure out why.

If she had been distant on the previous day, she was even worse now. She seemed to enjoy the island, but she kept pulling out a book.She would barely look me in the eye and when she did, her cheeks would turn pink.

I, to the contrary, was more jubilant. I played with her hair while she read, never complaining that she was more focused on her book. It was like everything she did was wonderful. I was just thrilled that she had enjoyed herself in the bedroom earlier, plus the fact that her body betrayed her feigned disinterest.

When we returned to the house after watching the sunset from the cliffs, I fixed a large Italian dinner. She thanked me and raved over the flavors, but she read during dinner.

"Are you still angry with me?" I asked when she finished the book.

"I'm not angry with you. I'm trying to keep my mind occupied."

"Why do you need distractions?" It seemed that our whole life was going to revolve around that three letter word.

"You know." Her cheeks flamed red.

"You haven't been successful."

She let out a sigh. "Yes, I have!"

"Your pheromones have been off the charts all day. You smell wonderful." I smiled.

"I'm going to sleep." She began to get up from her chair and I reached to stop her.

"I want to say something." I sat forward. "I've never been happier in my life, and I want you to be happy too. If you're not angry with me, tell me what's got you so upset?"

"That's not a statement."

I leaned closer, "Tell me." I used my most dazzling tone.

"It's not fair for you to do _that_ to me." She took a deep breathe

I whispered, "Please."

Bella's heart began to quicken and I could tell I had her enthralled. She took a deep breath and let her words flow slowly, "Well, this morning --"

"Yes." I encouraged

"I used you. And--"

"And?"

"--And you were too still, too quiet."

"So?"

"So it was like –" She raised her finger to me, asking me to wait until she was finished. "—like when someone wants to avoid something unpleasant, they shut down, become unresponsive."

I frowned. "You think I was unhappy?"

"No, I think I used you. You didn't make a sound. It was like you shut me out."

"I don't think that's it." I shook my head and leaned in closer to my wife. "I think you're upset about this morning, but not for that reason."

Bella started to disagree but I placed my finger over her lips.

"Bella, you know what I am. You know I don't _have_ to move, and that I'm more myself around you. You also know my tenuous self-control, especially when you're so close to me. You've accepted me, loved me despite those things. You want to know what I think?" I removed my finger from her lips.

"Yes, Mr. I-can't-read-your-mind, what do you think?"

"I think," I paused and smiled at her arching my eyebrow. "I think you're an amazing person, generous beyond belief, and selfless. I think you feel guilty, possibly even ashamed, that you enjoyed such a very selfish act this morning."

Bella's cheeks became rosy and she dropped her jaw to speak but she didn't answer.

"I take your silence as agreement then?" I reached out and took her hand. She looked at me and nodded.

"Good. A couple of things, then. First, you didn't do anything to be ashamed of, in fact, I encouraged it for my own selfish delights, and I _did_ find pleasure in it, enormous pleasure. Second, the more selfish you are, the better we can enjoy one another, so in this one area, give yourself permission to be selfish, you deserve it. Third, you said my name; I really enjoyed that part too." I couldn't hold back a silly grin. "Forth,"

"This is more than a couple of things." Bella interrupted.

"Well, you're a complicated being and I'm not sure which argument will work best. Forth, you're probably not planning on a repeat of this morning, so it's no big deal – everything in balance, Sweetheart. And last, if you still feel ashamed or embarrassed, you never have to do that again. I will be more than happy to handle all your pleasuring needs, especially once you've changed."

I finished and flashed my crooked mischievous, smile. Bella exhaled and with that release of air I was certain she freed any guilt and shame.

The next day we spent most of the morning in bed, enjoying each other's company. Later we roamed through the jungle observing the wildlife. It was fascinating to see the myriad of colors. We held hands most of the day and dazzled one another through dinner. At bed time, we held each other close.

"You showed amazing control this morning." She congratulated me.

"Really? I found you irresistible." I murmured

"And now I'm not?"

"Now I'm distracted. It's harder for me at night." We both chuckled. The long nights left my mind to wander. On the island I was the only voice I could hear. When we were in Forks, I could hear minds from miles around to keep me occupied. I didn't have those same distractions now.

"I guess you're going to have to change me soon so I can stay awake with you."

"We've got time." My voice lacked levity at the prospect of killing her soul. Surprisingly, she didn't run through all the reasons for not waiting, instead she fell fast asleep.

I wasn't in the bed when she woke up the next morning. I was sitting on the bench outside the bedroom door.

"Self-exiled?"

"I thought I could keep you safer by watching the birds take a bath." I pointed out the glass wall to the garden birdbath. It was a serene milieu.

She wore a yellow silk short set and she sat on my lap.

"I love you." She whispered.

"As I love you. What do you want to do today?"

She shrugged her shoulders.

"Would you like to go snorkeling, see some fish?"

"Sounds good." She got up and walked to the bathroom. I went to fix her breakfast, noting that it was good for us both to be happy.

Our honeymoon became a happy pattern of activity. She would wake up around nine o'clock each day. Some mornings were spent exploring one another's bodies, but not long enough for me to lose control. Bella started calling our morning activities, vegetarian sex. We were only surviving on foreplay, never fully satisfied.

After breakfast, I would suggest a daily activity. We snorkeled, discovered caves, the jungle canopy and magnificent waterfalls. When our daily adventure ended, we returned back to the house usually around sunset.

At each twilight, I'd present her with a token of my love. I'd given her jewelry, poems, songs, and a small charm replica of the Cullen crest to place on her bracelet. She continually reminded me that the gifts were unnecessary, as there was only one thing she really wanted.

She would have dinner and the battle for our night's entertainment would begin. It was always the same: brief. She would start to seduce me, become exhausted with defeat and fall fast asleep. Once asleep, it was my own fantasies that I had to fight.

She was becoming less subtle during the evening battles, and I knew my will would not hold out much longer. And then as the bruises began to fade to yellow, she began pulling out lingerie. Cream colored at first. I ignored it all, at least that is what she thought.

On a bright sunny day, we chose to go fishing in the cove on the other side of the island. Her bruises were barely noticeable and she wore the most revealing day wear to date. A bikini. Her thin frame held her perfect hips wrapped in a shimmering blue swimsuit. She was magnificent. I couldn't think straight . . . a couple of yanks on the strings was all it would take. . .

"I'm going to set anchor here." I informed her.

"Edward this is beautiful."

She looked radiant. "Yes, it is nice."

"What no -- compared to you it's okay?" She taunted me with my own words.

I chuckled and jumped into the water. She followed and we were underneath the water entering caves. Watching her expressions as she admired the walls that reflected a rainbow of colors was relaxing. There were handprints on the cave walls, but I was too busy admiring my wife.

"Edward?" We were sitting on the deck of the yacht, while she nibbled on her lunch. Her hair was flying in the wind as she relaxed back into her chair. She turned her eyes away from the lagoon and looked at me.

"Yes?" My thoughts returned to her silky voice.

"Somehow, my unlucky stars have gone on hiatus and I feel like the luckiest woman in the world: a loving, gorgeous husband and a perfect honeymoon." She let out a giggled sigh and turned to look toward the shore.

She had given me the words that I'd longed to hear, the bloom of all my planning. I exhaled. But rather than embrace those words, I waited for the left shoe to drop. I was beyond grateful that it didn't.

Her joy provoked fantasies of our physical desires. It was impossible to consider anything else. If she had touched me, or even looked into my eyes longer, my resistance would have collapsed.

Come to me, Bella. Stay where you are Bella, I'm not safe.

I fretted about her confession. Why hadn't she mentioned the one thing that would have made our honeymoon beyond perfect? Did she no longer find our physical love desirable? Was it unnecessary for perfection?

It took me approximately one quarter of a second from the time she finished her statement to realize that I could not control my thirst, my fantasies and my curiosity at the same time. But sometimes, you get what you ask for, and I longed for that horrid left shoe.

"So, you wouldn't change anything about our honeymoon?" My curiosity would destroy my will far more efficiently than any of my desires.

"Hmmm, what did you say?" Her head turned to me. She was distracted and I couldn't figure out what was going on in her head. It was so frustrating to not hear her thoughts and her eyes didn't give a clue.

"I wanted to know whether you'd change anything about our honeymoon?" I said a little anxious having had to repeat myself. How could I have interrupted her?

"Oh. I don't know." She looked back to the lagoon. "I don't think so."

If there had been blood in my veins, it would have run cold. She didn't think a more physical relationship was needed. She didn't want sex? "You mean you don't want more passion?"

"Don't be ridiculous, of course I want that, but you asked what I would change."

"Yes. Why wouldn't you change that?"

"Sweetheart." It was rare that she used terms of endearments to address me and with that one word, my cold veins ran hot. "You know, you're just as stubborn as I am." Her voice was satin smooth with no irritation, full of patience, then slowly, softly she continued, "And since abstinence is what you want, I'm not going to let that make me unhappy.

"Besides, there's nothing about us that can fit into a perfection mold anyway. There's always something against us, so I'll accept what we have and the way it is; and be ecstatic about it." She ended flippantly, picking up a book to read.

I wasn't sure I understood entirely what she meant, but I did see the frustration in her eyes and heard it in her voice. I was withholding another part of myself. "You know it won't always be like this." I assured, more for myself than her.

She looked up at me and smiled. Was it agreement I saw in her eyes? Determination? A plan? Or worse, disinterest? Whatever it was, she wasn't going to tell me.

We spent a couple more hours reading, playing in the water, and returned to the house just before dark. I fixed her dinner, and she ate every bit. In fact, she seemed to devour all of her meals, every morsel. I hadn't noticed before how much she ate.

Fifteen days had passed and it was time for me to hunt. I was weak. It was impossible to think clearly, I needed the rejuvenation of feeding. I'd plan to hunt tonight, after she fell asleep.

I was sitting on the bed reading when she came out of the bathroom in the sexiest piece of lingerie yet. It was black, lacy and it layered tightly around her curves. I was stunned. Quickly I gathered my composure, too late for her not to have noticed my gaped mouth. She spun around allowing me additional opportunity to properly behold her. I could smell her enticing scent. Luscious.

"What do you think?" She asked.

In my head I repeated the infamous words of Mike Newton, "Damn, you look good." I cleared my throat hoping to snap out of my trance. "You look beautiful. You always do." What a blasphemous understatement.

"Thanks." She said dejectedly. She crawled into bed and snuggled into my arms. I was thankful it was too hot for her to sleep without my cool arms around her. She felt scrumptious and I couldn't resist stroking her back and the dark silk next to her pale skin.

"I'll make you a deal," she murmured.

"I will not make any deals with you, Bella." After our conversation in the lagoon, I half expected a new tactic, and I would not be swept into its consideration.

"You haven't even heard what I'm offering."

"I'm not buying."

"Dang it. And I really wanted . . . Oh well."

She'd once again unknowingly converged all of my weaknesses at one time. She started with a small weakness—my curiosity. But coupled with my strong desire to make her wishes come true, and my thirst, I knew I'd have to satiate something. With regret I asked. "Okay. What is it you want?"

"Well, I want to go to college, maybe a semester or two. I know the whole Dartmouth story is just a cover story, while I go through the change. But it wouldn't hurt me to go to college for a while."

I wanted her to attend college, badly. It would give her time to mature, possible reconsider her decision to become a vampire. Moreover, the college experience is exceptional. My dear wife was reeling me in. She was using my own desires against me, but it didn't sound too dreadful. "Go on." I said.

"Well, Charlie would get such a kick out of hearing my college stories and it's really not a big deal if I wait and go to college first. I mean eighteen or nineteen; it's not that big a difference -- not like I'll have crow's feet or anything like that."

"You would wait. Stay human?" She was good. I was considering it, then I remembered the last few days. The begging, pleading, and then indifference – No she was hustling me into this and I would not be forced into a situation that would lead to her being harmed. No, she was just bargaining and she had no intention of fulfilling her side. I wanted her to stay human longer and appreciate the sacrifices she would make. This would mean a longer abstinence from sex and I knew I could not survive being a vegetarian much longer.

"Why are you _doing_ this to me? Isn't it hard enough without all of this?" I grabbed the lacy black ruffle that rested on her thigh. Oh, how I wish I were but a ruffle. I focused, and released the lace. "It doesn't matter I won't make any deals with you."

"I want to go to college."

"No, you don't Bella. And there is nothing that is worth risking your life again. That's worth hurting you." My perfect memory brought forth pictures of the fresh bruises.

"But I _do_ want to go. Well, it's not college as much as it's that I want – I want to be human a little longer."

"You are making me insane, Bella. Haven't we had this argument a million times? You are constantly begging to be a vampire without delay." There was no way I could hold out for another year or two, from both sex and the blood thirst; I might not last another hour.

"Yes, but . . . well," She continued to make her point, "I have a reason to be human that I didn't before."

"What's that?" I asked too quickly. I already knew the answer and I really didn't need to hear it.

"Guess." She said and then she demonstrated by leaning up and kissing me rather passionately. I let her, the whole time fleeting pictures of her contusions zipped in my head along with slow passionate images of how they were made. I gently pulled her away from my lips and snuggled her to my chest.

"You are so ruled by your human hormones." I laughed, if she only knew how my urges were warring against me. My love for her fought the physical urges and the thirst. I was losing control.

"That's the whole point, Edward. I _like_ this part of being human. I don't want to give it up yet. I don't want to wait through years of being a blood-crazed newborn for some part of this to come back to me." She began to mumble her words.

"You're tired. Sleep, love." I needed a respite from my warring body and my mind battles with Bella. I didn't want to think anymore about the things bombarding my resolve. I longed for the piano and settled for my voice. I began to hum _Bella's lullaby_. It was a sweet melody I'd written for her, with just a little mystery. Humming it helped to settle the both of us.

"I wonder why I'm so tired." Her drowsiness barely allowing her next words, "that couldn't be part of your scheme or anything?"

I hadn't realized that she would consider our honeymoon excursions as some type of scheme to avoid a repeat of _the_ night. I chuckled and concluded that the only one scheming was her – lingerie, college, vegetarianism, what was next? I picked up the lullaby where I had left off.

"For as tired as I've been, you'd think I'd sleep better."

"Bella, you've been sleeping like the dead. You haven't said one word in your sleep since we got here." It was true, she had stopped talking in her sleep. I figured it was the peacefulness of _Isle_ _Esme _that kept her quiet during the night.

"I haven't been tossing? That's weird. Usually I'm all over the bed when I'm having nightmares. And shouting."

"You've been having nightmares?" I had no clue she had been so restless.

"Vivid ones. They make me so tired. I can't believe I haven't been babbling about them all night." She yawned.

"What are they about?"

"Different things – but the same, you know, because of the colors."

"Colors?" I was not understanding.

"It's all so bright and real. Usually I'm dreaming, I know that I am. With these, I don't know I'm asleep. It makes them scarier."

Bella had always had bad dreams. I wonder why she's confused and just now telling me about the dreams? What was she dreaming of? Frightened of? Me? Something else? "What is frightening you?"

"Mostly . . ." She stopped.

"Mostly?" I repeated so she would finish her sentence. Even if it meant that it was her husband in her dreams frightening her.

"The Volturi," she said softly.

Yes, that would certainly frighten her. They had intimated that they would keep tabs on her because she knew the vampire secret and wasn't a vampire. Even though members of the Volturi guard had been in Forks a few months ago, it was doubtful that they would return again so soon. I hugged her tighter. "They aren't going to bother us anymore. You'll be immortal soon and they'll have no reason"

She seemed to accept my comfort, but then she looked desperate. As if she had to do something but knew it was futile. I entertained that Bella could have a latent gift that allowed her some pre-cognitive abilities in her sleep. I quickly dismissed that because vampires had no unconscious state and Alice pretty much had the vision talent sealed up. There was still the issue of her despair.

"What can I do to help?" I asked.

"They're just dreams, Edward."

"Do you want me to sing to you? I'll sing all night if it will keep the bad dreams away." It would keep my distractive thoughts at bay as well.

"They're not all bad. Some are nice. So . . . colorful. Underwater, with the fish and the coral. It all seems like it's really happening – I don't know that I'm dreaming. Maybe this island is the problem. It's really _bright_ here."

"Do you want to go home?"

"No. No, not yet. Can't we stay awhile longer?"

"We can stay as long as you want, Bella." There was no hurry to end our honeymoon. If she enjoyed it here, then I would continue to make sure her time was happy.

"When does the semester start? I wasn't paying attention before."

I wasn't willing to discuss her deal. I sighed out the first notes of her lullaby and she quickly drifted off to sleep. She was snuggled close to me and the tune started to fade, as I admired my wife.

I rolled on my side to face her and my hand could not resist the smooth touch of silk against her fair skin. I compared. Tantalizing. I lightly circled the lace patterns with the tips of my finger, her breathing increased as if she was aware of my sensual touch.

By the time I had finished tracing the gentle paths of lace for the fiftieth time, I was glad she was soundly asleep. I was beyond able to resist and I knew I needed to go hunting. I smiled, and moved to leave when Bella gasped herself awake.

"Bella?" She must have had another nightmare. "Are you all right sweetheart?"

"Oh," was all she said and then a watershed of tears started streaming down her cheeks.

"Bella! What's wrong?" I was much louder than I needed to be, she was clearly already upset. I started to wipe away the tears, I couldn't keep up with the constant flow. What was going on here? She couldn't continue to have these nightmares like this. We would have to have a long discussion to get to the bottom and stop these dreams! Perhaps she needed psychiatric help. _Doctor, I'm afraid that the vampire royalty will come to kill me because I know their secrets. _ No, she can't go into treatment, that may land her in a psychiatric hospital.

"It was only a dream . . ." She said it so low that it sounded like a question and disappointment all at the same time.

"It's okay, love, you're fine. I'm here." I held her close and rocked her hoping to shake the horrendous dream from her mind. I would just have to take a few courses in psychology, perhaps get a doctorate. "Did you have another nightmare? It wasn't real, it wasn't real." I tried my best to comfort her.

"Not a nightmare." I held her closer, she squeezed her hand to her face to wipe away her tears, shaking her head. "It was a _good_ dream." I leaned away from her.

"Then why are you crying?" If it was so good then tears are not what a reasonable person would do and Bella was near hysterics. Perhaps I could bribe a psychologist into seeing her without risking commitment.

"Because I woke up." An avalanche of sobs came and she threw her arms around my neck.

I was a bit in shock. She had never been so – illogical. I chuckled a little, glad she was not having a nightmare – this time. I wondered if my nighttime artistry had anything to do with her good dream. But all these tears over a good dream seemed incongruous. "Everything's all right, Bella. Take deep breathes."

"It was so real. I wanted it to be real." She continued to cry.

"Tell me about it. Maybe that will help." I had to get her crying under arrest. I reveled at the possibility that my simple touches had stopped her nightmares and given her much better dreams.

"We were on the beach . . ." She began.

"And?" So far it seemed like something that I could actually make come true.

"Oh Edward . . ." Her sobbing broke through once again.

Not more tears! I didn't know if I would be able to put up with the watershed much longer. Why didn't she want to tell me her good dream? It couldn't be my nighttime antics then. What was going on here? Was it actually a bad dream or what? Perhaps it was a good dream but I was bad? We could work this out. "Tell me, Bella."

She didn't tell me, instead she put her hand behind my head, grasping my hair with her fingers, while her other hand held my face and pressed her lips to mine with such need. I found my hands going to her face and gentle pressing my lips to hers. It was a passionate kiss, shear longing and desire. I was not in control and this was not the way I would maintain my desires. I struggled to remove her as tamely as possible.

"No, Bella." I pressed her away from me and quickly put my hands on her shoulders. I could not have her so close to me like that – the thirst, desire – my fantasies.

"I'm s-s-sorry." Her body went limp but her tears continued.

My emotions were running just as high as hers. I knew I could make her forget the dreams but at the cost of damaging her? My thirst was strong but my desire was stronger. I had finally hit an impasse. My will to keep her safe against love, desire and lust. I was torn. I reached for her and held her close, her warm body still shaking through the torrent of tears coming down her face. "I can't, Bella. I can't." The agony roaring from the memories of the bruises to the lace patterns. I had to find a way to cease the onslaught of emotions surrounding us.

"Please. Please, Edward?"

She was pleading. I wanted to leave, to run swiftly around the island, but I would only be forced to return back into her welcoming arms. I could no longer see her bruises. All I saw was my wife begging for that which was already hers. All this time, I thought I was keeping her from harm, by withholding that which was so dear, but in fact, I was causing unrest. I wanted her . . . like that night, to be a part of her skin, to dissolve myself into her, make myself a part of her . . .

And in the end, I proved myself to be the selfish monster that I am. I pressed my lips to hers and her response was immediate. I surrendered. Unconditionally.

---

The sun was shining through the window, it was a morning just like that which followed _the_ night. I was filled with utter joy. I took another moment to bask in the bliss I felt. It was more than before – our love had grown, yet, it was more -- familiar. I was more focused, but I knew I had to examine her body before I could thoroughly enjoy the memory. There was no sense putting it off any longer.

I lifted my head and saw that her arms were in the same condition they were while we were on the speed boat on yesterday. I saw no new bruises on her torso, in fact the old bruises had pretty much disappeared around her stomach and sides.

I gently rolled her to me on her stomach. Her back was pristine, except the long yellow faded bruise that was across her shoulder and down her back. I saw no damage on her body. I listened to her pulse and the flow of blood through her body and was unable to discern any broken blood vessels.

Victory.

I looked for property damage. I saddened at the sight of scraps of black lace at the foot of the bed. I remember biting and turned my head to see to large pieces of wood ripped from the head board. Esme will not be pleased. I'll have to replace it.

I pulled her across my chest and stoked her hair. I finally felt able to enjoy some of the wonder of my wife. Her hair was fanned out across my shoulders and covered her face as she slept. I gently rubbed her arms that glistened with light perspiration where the sun shined on her skin. Warm breaths of air were pushed out of her nose onto my skin, changing it from cold to tepid. I could bask in her warmth forever.

She began to stir and I wasn't quite ready to finish with my exploration, needing no lace pattern. I began to hum softly in her ear and cooled her arms. She easily fell back into a deep sleep. I reveled in her beauty for hours. Finally her breathing changed and I knew she would soon wake up.

I pulled my arms behind me, resting my head on my hands. She took deep breaths and I knew she was no longer asleep.

"How much trouble am I in?" She whispered.

"Heaps." I figured if she could entrap me, I would at least make her think I was upset. I smiled at the thought.

"I _am_ sorry. I didn't mean . . . Well, I don't know exactly what _that_ was last night." She seemed repentant.

"You never did tell me what your dream was about." We still had a problem to address and now was as good a time as any.

"I guess I didn't – but I sort of _showed_ you what it was about." She giggled, unsure.

"Oh. Interesting." She was amazing. Perhaps she did feel the intricate wandering I did around her body last night while she was sleeping.

"It was a very good dream. Am I forgiven?"

"I'm thinking about it," I teased her.

She sat up, probably too quickly and immediately fell back onto the pillows. "Whoa . . . head rush."

I swooped her up in my arms certain her head rush was due to so much sleep."You slept for a long time. Twelve hours."

"_Twelve_?"

She began to examine her body, similarly to the morning after _the_ night. I admired her as she took a quick once-over.

"Is the inventory complete?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"The pillows all appear to have survived."

"Unfortunately, I can't say the same for your, er," That beautiful black lacy thing. "nightgown." Calling it a nightgown was like calling the ocean a glass of water. I pointed to the remnants of black lace at the foot of the bed.

"That's too bad. I liked that one."

"I did too." I'd have to find another one. Me shopping for women's lingerie – I guess I could get used to it. However, I'm sure Alice had already picked up another one.

"Were there other casualties?"

"I'll have to buy Esme a new bed frame." I nodded to the headboard.

"Hmm. You'd think I would have heard that."

"You seem to be extraordinarily unobservant when your attention is otherwise involved."

"I was a bit absorbed." She blushed.

"I'm really going to miss that." I touched her warm cheek, and marveled. I looked into my favorite set of eyes, brown chocolate. They were magnificent.

"How are _you_ feeling." She asked me.

I laughed. I must have been acting better than I thought, she looked like she swallowed the cat.

"What?" She wondered.

"You look so guilty – like you've committed a crime."

"I _feel_ guilty."

"So you seduced your all-too-willing husband. That's not a capital offense." I was happy to go along with this line of reasoning. It was more carefree than we'd been the whole time on the island.

"The word _seduced_ implies a certain amount of premeditation."

It did start from a dream, possibly my touches – hormones, yes. Premeditation – no. "Maybe that was the wrong word.

"You're not angry?"

"I'm not angry." I was actually quite ecstatic and she was about to kill my bliss, stealing her words, I grinned.

"Why not?"

"Well, I didn't hurt you, for one thing. It was easier this time to control myself, to channel my excesses. Maybe because I had a better idea of what to expect." I glanced at the headboard.

"I _told_ you that it was all about practice."

I rolled my eyes – no one liked an 'I- told- you- so' but she'd been right. I turned my eyes over to the clock. It was one in the afternoon. Her stomach growled and she hopped out of bed as if an alarm went off. She stumbled towards the dresser, barely able to hold her balance. I was at her side before she actually teetered over. "Are you all right?"

"If I don't have a better sense of equilibrium in my next life, I'm demanding a refund." She made it safely to the bathroom but I remained near just in case she started to stumble again.

After she was dressed in a pink cotton dress, I watched her cook. She settled on eggs, sunny side up. "Do you know how many eggs you've gone through in the last week? I showed her the trash can filled with empty egg containers.

"Weird. This place is messing with my appetite. But I like it here. We'll probably have to leave soon, though to make it to Dartmouth in time?"

I couldn't figure out why she wanted to continue the charade of wanting to go to college. I had given into all her demands and there wasn't anything left to bargain for. I decided to let her off the hook so we could move on. "You can give up the college pretense now – you've gotten what you wanted. And we didn't agree to a deal, so there are no strings attached."

"It wasn't a pretense Edward. I don't spend my time plotting. _What can I do to wear Bella out today._" She said in a horrible imitation of me. I laughed deciding that I could straighten out her misconception later.

"I really do want to go to college. I want to spend a little more time being human. I have not had enough --"

She rubbed her hot hand over my bare chest sending electrical charges. She wants more sex! More me? Those human hormones are relentless. "You mean you'd stay human for _this_? Sex was the key all along? I could have saved myself a lot of arguments if I'd thought of that."

"Yeah probably." She said, nonchalantly.

Well, there is no way I would force her into becoming a vampire. She wanted to stay human, I'd agree. We had our intimate life under control and all we had to do was show up at Dartmouth. She is going to love college. I was excited. "So, we're going to Dartmouth? Really?"

"Yeah. I'll probably fail out in one semester."

"I'll tutor you. You're going to love college." I started planning the next few months.

"You think we can find a place to stay?"

I've got that covered. "I already bought a house there, just in case."

She looked surprised. "You bought a house?"

"Good investment."

"So we're ready then?"

"I'll have to see if we can keep your 'before' car for a little while longer. . . " The dealer would be highly upset with me, I promised to return the car by the end of September.

"Yes, heaven forbid I not be protected from tanks. How much longer can we stay?"

"We're fine on time. A few more weeks. We can visit Charlie before we go to New Hampshire. We could spend Christmas with Renee . . . " I could hear the sound of a boat approaching the dock.

"Okay a few more weeks. So, I was thinking – you know what I was saying about practice before?"

"Can you hold that thought? I hear a boat. The cleaning crew must be here. There is a place in the jungle on the south ---"

"I don't want to go out hiking today. I want to stay here and watch a movie."

I had the perfect spot to watch parrots. Well, we could go there another time, we have a few more weeks. "Okay, you pick out a movie and I'll get the cleaning crew started."

I went and put on a shirt and pants. I met the cleaning crew at the door. The man and woman spoke Portuguese, little English. I introduced myself and thanked them for coming. I escorted them through the great room and introduced my wife. The man just smiled but the woman's thoughts mirrored her expression of horror at seeing that my wife did not have the same skin and eye color as me. It had been so long since I heard someone else's thoughts.

_Mercy God! It is not safe here. He has seduced that girl into marriage. Does she know that he is a demon? Blood drinker? Why do they always take the young beautiful ones? She will be dead before we come back. The Libishomen have red eyes. This cold man with black eyes. The girl is not safe here. I must get her away._

We walked to the white bedroom and they started to clean it. I was already tired of hearing other people's thoughts, I returned to my wife.

"What's with her?" Bella asked, obviously noting the fear in the Brazilian woman's eyes.

"Kaure's part Ticuna Indian. She suspects what I am, it's part of her awareness – that modern people would consider superstition. She believes I am a blood-drinking demon who preys exclusively on beautiful women."

"She looked terrified."

"She is. Mostly she is worried about you and why we are here all alone." I really didn't care what she thought. No one would believe her tales, they'd be discounted as superstition. Moreover, Bella was safe with me. "Well, why don't you pick out a movie? That seems like a very human thing to do."

We giggled together and she put her arms around my neck reaching up to give me a kiss. I could tell it would be a long passionate kiss so I leaned over and lifted her up from her waist to meet me. We were exploring the pleasures of one another's lips, when I heard Kaure's thoughts.

_Oh no they have sex! What a sickening thing. The girl must be in a trance to kiss such a demon. It is unnatural. She must get away while she still can._

Kaure's loud gasp caused Bella to unlocked her arms from around me and blushed. Kaure apologized for interrupting and informed me that she would start on the other rooms, while Gustavo finished the white room, it would be quicker.

"She was thinking what I think she was thinking, wasn't she?" Bella asked.

"Yes." She handed me a movie to put into the DVD player. A very honeymoonish movie – a musical.

"Are we going to move back into the white room?"

"I think we better not. Esme may invite us back if we keep all the damage to one room." Esme would not be pleased if I destroyed anything in the white room. It was her favorite.

"So there will be more destruction."

My Bella was quick, "I think it might be safer if it's premeditated, rather than if I wait for you to – assault me again."

"It would be a matter of time." She promised.

Her pulse began to pick up its pace, "Is there something wrong with your heart?"

"Nope. Maybe we should go survey the demolition zone."

"Maybe it would be more polite to wait until we're alone. You may not notice me tearing apart furniture but it would probably scare them." Her raging hormones had her out of control, mine too. Teenagers!

Gustavo and Kaure finished at the same time that the movie ended. Bella slept through most of the movie, in fact she had slept most of the day away. I didn't get up to walk them to the door. Bella was still sleeping. I made arrangements for them to come back the next day. Gustavo agreed and quietly walked out of the door. I heard the boat pull away from the dock.

"They're finished. Ready for lunch" I asked Bella. I figured she was hungry and I took her into the kitchen and fixed her a nice big lunch of fish and rice. She ate a whole fish.

"This is getting out of hand." She said when she left no traces of edible food on her plate.

"Do you want to swim with the dolphins this afternoon – burn off the calories?" I hoped she would say no. I hoped that her raging hormonal drive was in control.

"Maybe later. I had another idea for burning calories."

"What was that?" Hoping to hear an invitation.

"Well, there's an awful lot of headboard left –"

That's what I wanted to hear. I picked her up and carried her at vampire speed into the blue room. We had some furniture to destroy.


	7. Chapter 7 Counting the Possibilities

I'm really excited to write this chapter. It is hard finding Edwards POV when he's with Bella so much. Just like in a ballet company, males often seems to just hold up the ballerina, when they are just as entertaining. Let's see if the next few chapters will bring out the boy we all love –

Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. No infringement intended.

---

We had lounged in the bed most of the afternoon. After a quick dinner of hamburgers, we spent twilight on the beach. I gave Bella a small picture book, nothing that she wouldn't be able to read in minutes, but hopefully would enjoy nonetheless. It was my weak attempt at prose.

She flipped open the first page to the dedication: _'To my love, with all my love.'_ She smiled, which was encouraging. "Alice did the artwork."

It was a simple story of a man, his wife and a flower. When Bella finished there were tears in her eyes. "Thank you." She whispered.

I leaned forward and took her hand, "I'll never be able to say this enough or even in the right way to make up for the mistakes I've made. But in some small way, I hope the storybook will remind you that my search for happiness will always end with you and that I was so very foolish for thinking otherwise."

We swam and soaked in the moon light. When the sky held every star imaginable, we came inside to bed and held one another close, Bella falling into a deep sleep.

I was four days past my planned fourteen days between hunting. I was so concentrated on resisting my wife's wishes that it made it easier to ignore my thirst. I slipped out of bed and quickly got dressed. I pulled out a piece of paper from the desk and a pen. I wrote a quick note.

I'm hoping you won't wake and notice my absence, but if you should, I'll be back very soon. I've gone to the mainland to hunt. Go back to sleep and I'll be here when you wake again. I love you.

I folded the note in half and wrote "Mrs. Cullen" on the outside of it. I placed it on my pillow, wishing I had a flower to lie beside it. I gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead and admired her for another second before I turned and walked out of the bedroom. The sooner I left, the sooner I would return. With vampire speed, I was at the dock with the engine started. I hesitated to leave Bella on the island without transportation, but I remembered that the cleaning crew would return every few days and at any rate, she didn't know how to drive the yacht. Something I would have to remedy when I returned.

I docked the speed boat at a marina about fifty miles north of Rio and headed for the Brazilian Highlands. I followed the tourist path until it ended and then continued further into the jungles. I soon caught scent of my prey, a jaguar, and easily captured it near the basin. Once I relished my thirst with the predator, I picked up the pursuant the jaguar was unable to complete. The tapir weighing nearly five hundred pounds, left me full and satisfied. It was a nice change to have something other than North American animals.

I headed back to the trail that would lead me to my wife. It would be another uninterrupted fourteen days with my wife on the beautiful Isle Esme – I might even make it eighteen days.

It was an hour before dawn when I reached the boat; I figured it would be a good time to call home. I didn't look forward to the conversation.

"Edward, what a lovely surprise," it was Esme who picked up Carlisle's phone. "How are you enjoying your honeymoon?"

"Hello, Esme – You were right, the Isle is a perfect spot for a honeymoon, and we have truly enjoyed it. It was very kind of you to allow us to borrow it."

"Not a problem. So how much property damage have you done?" She knew from her past experience with Rosalie and Emmett that such was a part of the honeymoon experience.

"Actually, we have contained it to one room -- the blue one. I will need to replace the bed frame," I confessed.

"And?"

"That's all."

"Well, I can't say I'm not disappointed, it was a dear piece of furniture, but it is apparent that you are a true gentleman if that is all the damage. Have you all decided to return?"

"That is why I'm calling, I wanted to let you all know that it would be a few more weeks. Bella has decided to attend Dartmouth in the fall," I announced. "We will be in Washington a week before we move to New Hampshire."

"Oh, I see. I guess that is the proper course of things," she sounded just as disappointed as any parent of a college bound student. The nest would be empty.

"Mom, Is Carlisle there?"

"Yes, dear I will put him on the phone. You take care of yourselves and all my love to Bella."

"I love you mom, bye." I didn't wait long for Carlisle, even though I could have used an eternity.

"Hello Edward, How are you and Bella?" Carlisle sounded as concerned and diplomatic as ever.

"I'm fine sir. Bella is well." I hated to disappoint both my parents in one phone call, "I'm calling to . . . to confess that I was not as . . . careful as I should have been with her." My shame was over-taking me again.

"Is she hurt?" His concern was clearly medical, as well as fatherly.

"She is fine now. I bruised her, Carlisle, light bruises, but -- there were many." My acknowledgement sent grief and sorrow through me. "I've not harmed her since."

"I see. How did Bella respond to this?"

"At first, she tried to discount the matter, until she realized I would not have it. Then she said that she had expected worse injuries, which still sends shivers through me. She has decided to forget the bruises and be—in her own words, 'totally and completely blissed out'."

He cleared his throat, hindering a chuckle. "Yes, that does sound like her." He gained his composure. "You knew this would be very dangerous for her and I believe you did the best you could under the circumstances." His words were of little comfort.

"An apology seems insufficient to atone for my actions. I can't use the same words for _this_ that I would use for spilled milk." I took an unnecessary breath, choking out the next words through my teeth. "And forgiveness can't be the same either."

"You're right. But, I'm unsure that an apology or forgiveness is necessary."

"I should not have touched her."

"It is much too late for that, Edward." His voice was calm and reassuring. "I think Bella is right. Since she has forgotten it, then you must allow time to right the unperceived wrong."

His words were final. No more discussion. No more self-flagellation. I would follow his advice. "Yes, I will."

"And, Edward."

"Yes, Carlisle."

"We look forward to seeing you both in a few weeks before you head to Dartmouth." He had a smile in his voice. "I gather Bella has decided to remain human a little longer?"

"Yes, she says she has -- another reason to stay human. We will see you soon. Thank you Carlisle." I hung up the phone and pressed the speed level forward. I needed to see my wife.

---

I arrived just as the sun was half way up, and found all the windows wide open in the large TV room. The television showed the DVD title screen from the same movie we watched the day before. There was a disgusting smell of food in the air.

My wife was asleep on the couch in front of the TV. She wore a yellow silk camisole and shorts and little beads of sweat covered her body. I took off my shirt and slid on the couch, pulling her burning body against mine. She started to stir.

I put my arms around her and wiped her forehead, "I'm sorry. So much for thoroughness. I didn't think about how hot you would be with me gone. I'll have an air conditioner installed before I leave again."

She began to struggle from my arms "Excuse me!" she yelled.

I let go of her, "Bella?" She threw her hand to her mouth and rushed to the bathroom. She was clinging to the toilet, her body emptying the entire contents of her stomach. I held her hair out of her face and kept my hand on the back of her neck, certain the coolness would help.

"Bella? What's wrong?" She was obviously sick, I couldn't imagine why I would ask her such a ridiculous question. What I wanted to know is -- what is causing her sickness? She is usually able to hold her nausea at bay.

"Damn rancid chicken," she groaned.

"Are you all right?" There I go again, asking another ridiculous question. What I wanted to know was – was she getting worse?

"Fine," she said weakly "It's just food poisoning. You don't need to see this. Go away."

"Not likely, Bella."

"Go away," she moaned and faintly tried to push me out of the bathroom.

There was no need for me to leave, her convulsions had weakened her and slowed her heart rate. I was staying.

We rinsed away any remnants from her sickness and I carried her to the bed. I gently set her down, not wanting to cause any jarring of her stomach. I then placed my arm around her and touched my hand to her head.

"Food poisoning?" I asked.

"Yeah, I made some chicken last night. It tasted off, so I threw it out after a few bites," she explained.

"How do you feel now?"

"Pretty normal. A little hungry, actually."

I decided that she needed to rest before she ate. After an hour, I gave her a glass of water to drink. She finished it dutifully and asked for some fried eggs. I made her three eggs, scrambled. She finished the entire plate.

I took her into the TV room and we sat down – actually I sat and she lay sprawled across my lap -- and watched CNN. It was nice to know the world was still going on -- even though we were not a part of it.

She became restless and turned towards me – I believed in search of a kiss. I leaned forward and her hand flew to her mouth. She jumped off the couch and flew to the kitchen sink where her body began to heave. I held her hair away from her face while she emptied the contents of her stomach for the second time in one day.

"Maybe we should go back to Rio, see a doctor." I suggested.

Her eyes widen in fear as she shook her head in response. She then backed away from the sink until she reached the glass wall. "I'll be fine right after I brush my teeth." She kept her hand on the wall as she eased to the bedroom.

I took slow, directed steps and followed her. She was not being reasonable. She was worse and she needed to see a doctor. She had to get over her fear of needles. I would talk some sense into her -- she would not avoid seeing a doctor. I considered calling Carlisle if she didn't cooperate -- I grabbed my phone on the way to the bedroom.

I knocked on the door. "Are you well? Did you get sick again?"

"Yes and no."

Why was she being so cryptic? I needed to see what was wrong, "Bella? Can I please come in?"

"O . . . kay?"

I opened the door and found her sitting on the floor next to her suitcase. Her color was ashen and she stared straight ahead towards the bathroom, not looking at anything in particular. I tried to read her mind because her face was expressionless. I found no answers. I sat down next to her and put my hand to her head.

"What's wrong?" I whispered,

"How many days has it been since the wedding?" She didn't turn to me when she asked -- in her quiet voice -- but continued to stare straight ahead.

"Seventeen." Eighteen days since I last hunted – the day before the wedding. "Bella, what is it?" Why won't she look at me? What is going on? What does the wedding have to do with her being sick? This was not making any sense. She must be in shock! I put my arm around her and started to call her name when she held up one finger – wait it said.

She wanted me to wait! Wait for what? She was trying to figure something out and I needed to figure it out as well. I could not wait any long enough. She had to know I needed answers too --I urgently whispered, "Bella! I'm losing my mind over here."

She grabbed a blue box out of her suitcase and held it up.

This was her answer -- a box of tampons? "What? Are you trying to pass this illness off as PMS?" Was she trying to get out of seeing a doctor?

"No. No, Edward. I'm trying to tell you that my period is five days late."

I froze. Late? I counted in my head. She was always regular, never late, never early. She had to know I could tell, her scent was more potent during her period, it was -- intoxicating. But what has that to do with food poisoning . . .

"I don't think I have food poisoning." She concluded.

What is she thinking? I'm avoiding the obvious. Snap out of it Edward, you know what she is saying. Pregnant.

NO!?!

I heard her faintly from a distance, my thoughts were so loud. She was rattling off her symptoms over the last two weeks – dreams, sleeping, crying, eating, sickness this morning . . .

I couldn't think. I had to think. I couldn't move. I didn't have to move. I could think. The monster in me was rejoicing.

Pregnant – was there someone else? I've been with her every day, nearly every hour since graduation. Only me. Only me.

A vampire. A monster bent on destruction of human life.

Jasper's tears. A vampire couldn't cry but Jasper did. I saw them! If a vampire could have tears then – maybe – not sterile.

Oh, what does this mean? Not sterile? Able to be a father?

No it's not possible. It's too soon, she can't know after five days. It takes nine months, unless -- the fetus is half vampire. Oh no. No. No. A vampire growing inside her. The monster would win, no wonder it was rejoicing.

It's not possible. Sterile. Void.

I considered the legend of the Incubus --a vampire that would consummate with human woman. The woman would be killed long before conception could be confirmed, drained of every drop of blood. So what if she wasn't murdered? Would she carry to term? What would it be? She would die from the pregnancy – incompatibility, long before the fetus could survive on its own. No children could be born.

They were well-known, these vampire lovers of beautiful human women. The Hebrew _Estrie _rumored to choose a human mate once every fifty years. The Filipino _Danag_ burned himself to death after his human mate killed herself upon discovering her pregnancy. The Romanian _Varacolaci _had an unquenchable thirst for human woman but was forced to abandon his ways by the Volturi. I couldn't forget the Italian Volturi, formerly known as _Stregoni benefici_ -- who still have human women to serve their pleasures. We saw one less than six months ago who was either killed or turned into a vampire. Either way no human survived. Any evidence of conception would be lost during the transformation or through the mother's death.

There were actual living legends of vampire woman who seduced male humans, succubus, my cousin Tonya claimed to be the original succubus. There was never conception from this pairing though. The male, although fertile, a vampire woman was not. Even if a female vampire conceived, the fetus would be immediately die being absorbed or dissolved.

Jasper cried tears. Strong emotions change us. Jasper changed and there were tears.

I changed. Stong emotions. Our love. Our passion. I changed.

I need to talk to her. I need to explain. My selfish desire was for her to have children – with me. Easy to wish when I was sterile.

What am I missing?

Something is wrong. – Incompatible.

Incompatible – it will kill her. I couldn't think. I started to count her heartbeat just to stop this spiral. I had to move and go to her – save her.

I remembered the story Carlisle told to Bella of the plague of immortal children.

Carlisle spoke, "what they were thinking, those ancient ones, I can't understand. They created vampires out of humans who were barely more than infants. They were very beautiful, endearing. Everyone near, would hopelessly fall in love with the children.

"Unfortunately, the children could not be taught to keep the secret. They were frozen in their development. Cute two year old vampires that would destroy entire villages. When hungry they fed and no one, no words could stop their temper tantrums. Tonya's mother after creating Tonya and her sister's also created an immortal child, I am unsure of her reasoning.

He paused to look at me worried that Bella was becoming too involved in the story. _Shall I continue? I will have to tell her of the Volturi. There is no way to tell the story without mentioning the ancients Aro, Caius and Marcus. And their absolute enforcement of the law. You know that a violation meant certain death for all involved. Perhaps now is not the time? _ I gave Carlisle a slight nod to continue, my Bella needed to understand. He continued,

"The Volturi became involved and studied the immortal children. Caius decided that the young _ones_ were incapable of protecting our secret, so they were destroyed.

"Covens fought to extinction to protect the lovable immortal children. The devastation was not complete, but much was lost, including traditions, friends and long-established covens. Aro studied the children, hoping to train them, but in the end, it was a unanimous decision to destroy the immortal ones. Vampires throughout the world knew from that point forward that it was taboo to create such a young one.

"Tanya, Kate, and Irina were totally oblivious until the day the Volturi came for them, their mother had created an immortal child. Tanya's mother and the child were already in custody. It was ignorance that saved Tanya and her sisters. Aro through his special touch was able to read every thought in their minds to determine that they were innocent and had no knowledge of the child.

"The only time Tanya and her sisters had seen the boy was as he was destroyed along with their mother. Tanya never knew why their mother did such a thing, but they were thankful of their ignorance, Caius wanted to burn them. Guilty by association, but Aro thought otherwise. The sisters became absolute followers of the law, never wanting to face the punishment of the Volturi." Carlisle finished.

I continued to count Bella's heartbeats in the separate part of my brain. I multiplied the beats by 700.

701, 702, 703 704 705 706 there was a ringing from far away – keep counting 1075, 1076, 1077 it was my phone 2150, 2151, 2152 ringing 2224, 2225 ringing, I kept counting 2575, 2576 . . .reach . . . move 3602, 3603 the ringing and ringing 3778, 3779, we would figure this out together 5823, 5824 the ringing stopped 5989, 5990 she was near me 5999, 6000. Sitting next to me.

I was calm and aware I heard her say "sixteen days before the wedding." I still hadn't moved.

She was talking to Carlisle. Yes, Alice was worried. I could hear the discussion, but I was unable to move, still counting her heartbeats, the only thing holding me to reality. 7520, 7521

"How do you feel?" Carlisle asked. I sought the square root of the numbers 7.4576 to the fourth place.

"Weird. This is going to sound crazy – look, I know it's way too early for any of this. Maybe I am crazy. But I'm having bizarre dreams and eating all the time and crying and throwing up and . . . and . . . I swear something _moved_ inside me just now."

What?!?

I looked up, probably too quickly – Bella seemed nervous. I held out my hand for the phone. I had to act now, I could not continue to count and not act. That monster was happy, he was close to success. I took the phone and brought it to my ear and said three words -- "Is it possible?"

"Son, you know that is no longer the question. The obvious and only answer is standing in front of you. You both have been changed so completely by one another, of course, it is not only possible – I think it has happened.

"If you had asked me this same question, three weeks ago, I would have said no. I would have told you that vampires are infertile. But then, no one has ever been able to examine a male vampire for virility.

"The legends of the succubus and incubus were just legends. Remember I lived during the time of the Italian _Stregoni benefici_ -- there was never any evidence of conception – it was all locker room talk; that I started in hopes to have vampires treat human differently, more humanly.

"Moreover, vampires and humans do not have the same chromosomal chains. Our DNA makes us incompatible. Vampires have twenty-five while humans have only twenty-three. We have two more than they do. This would seem to support the theory that conception is not possible. It would be like mating a lion to a house cat. Just too different.

"But . . . son, remember I told you strong emotions change us. Look at Jasper, he produced tears. Look at you, I think you produced a pregnancy." His voice was calming and hopeful.

"And Bella?"

"Yes, she is probably pregnant. The pregnancy seems to be moving along rather rapidly. For human women, the first movements are felt at the end of the first trimester. This means that she will only be pregnant for about three to four more weeks.

"I wish I could tell you that this is a good thing for you and Bella, but I believe that this is extremely dangerous for her, but I'm not certain.

"Whatever it . ." He seemed to reconsider his words, not wishing to offend. "Whatever is the most dominate trait with the fetus, will determine how dangerous it is for Bella. If the fetus is mostly human and grows at a quick rate, then, Bella will be fine. On the other hand if the fetus is mostly vampire then you might want to consider terminating the pregnancy. She will not be able to carry the fetus to term, her system will reject it or the fetus will . . . " He couldn't finish the sentence. It was too horrible to imagine. But I knew, the fetus would feed on Bella was what he was going to say.

Carlisle cleared his throat "I want you two on the next flight home. Until you get here, don't worry her about the incompatibility. You will need to bring Bella home to me. I will do everything I can to save her – keep her alive. Remember keep her calm and relaxed." Carlisle finished.

"Yes, Yes I will." I hung up the phone with Carlisle and dialed the number to the airlines.

"What did Carlisle say?" Bella asked.

"He thinks you're pregnant." I started to count in my head again.

"Who are you calling now?"

"The airport. We're going home."

I talked on the phone for the next hour. There was only one flight back to the states that we could make today, but the seats were full.

I told the ticket agent that it was an emergency and that we had to be on that flight. I argued with her for several minutes before I was transferred to her supervisor. The supervisor was of little help and it turned out that I would have to talk with the gate manager.

By the time I reached the gate manager, I had all our things packed. I set Bella's clothes on the bed for her to change. The gate manager was our best hope in making that flight, but we still had to get to the mainland.

The gate manager, a man with a heavy voice, named Juan took his sweet time coming to the phone. I told him I had an emergency and needed to get on that flight to the U.S. I offered him money to find a way to get us on the flight and told him I would pay anyone who was inconvenienced.

Juan said he would make a quick announcement and he was doubtful someone would be there to accept, the departure time was three hours away. He came back to the phone and said a missionary couple would sell their tickets to us. He put the couple on the phone and they garnered enough to purchase a van for their ministry and two first class tickets to America leaving the next day. I got their names and told them the van would be delivered in twenty minutes but the keys would not be theirs until their seats were given to us.

I called the car dealer in Rio, gave them my Centurion American Express Card and told them where to deliver the new van. I then called the taxi cab company and requested a taxi at the marina. I told them to start the meter immediately and gave them my credit card information.

I set the phone down and packed Bella's toiletries. Bella was in the kitchen sitting on the counter eating pretzels looking out at the ocean. "Bella?"

She was turned away from me. I walked closer to her and saw that she had tears streaming down her face. "Bella!" I panicked and streaked across the room. "Are you in pain?"

"No, no—"

I put my arms around her, in comfort – but I was the one needing it. She was in danger. That ugly fate was again threatening my wife's life. "Don't be afraid. We'll be home in sixteen hours. You'll be fine. Carlisle will be ready when we get there. We'll take care of this, and you'll be fine, you'll be fine."

If I had stopped counting her heartbeats in my head, I could have focused on Bella. Her actions, reactions, but I couldn't think straight. I was anxious to remove the threat.

"Take care of this? What do you mean?" Her voice rose as she asked.

I pulled myself away from her to look into her gorgeous coffee colored eyes, filled with fear. We're going to get that thing out before it can hurt any part of you. Don't be scared. I won't let it hurt you." I started counting again.

"That thing?"

I heard the chugging of a boat. "Dammit! I forgot Gustavo was due today. I'll get rid of him and be right back." My counting again kept me from observing Bella's reactions to my words of comfort.

I went to the boat dock and Gustavo and Kaure were already out of the boat and headed towards the house. I called out to them in Portuguese letting them know that their services would not be needed today and to come back tomorrow and close up the house.

Kaure kept walking to the house as if she hadn't heard me. _He has killed that poor girl. She is dead I know it. I should have helped her get away. That poor girl is dead._

I responded to Kaure's thoughts and told her that my wife and I would be leaving for the states in a few minutes. The bags are packed. I realized that the more excuses I gave to get her to turn around the more adamant she became that I had killed Bella.

I resolved that I had to let her see Bella. It would be better anyway. Kaure might report Bella missing -- it would be quite difficult and cause unnecessary trouble.

I tried to take the food she offered for us so that she could quickly look at Bella and leave. She refused to let me carry the dish. I reached the kitchen before Kaure did and went over the Bella.

I removed the tears from my wife's cheeks and whispered in her hear. "She's insisting on leaving the food she brought – she made us dinner. It's an excuse – she wants to make sure I haven't killed you yet." The words stung as they came out my mouth. I could not kill her, but my unborn vampire monster would.

Kaure looked at my Bella. _Poor child she is terrified of him. She has no color and she has been crying._ Kaure spoke softly in her native tongue believing that I could not hear or understand. "She still lives, but not for long."

I lost all sense of civility. The venom swirled in my mouth and I growled through my teeth that she could leave her damn food and go. "My wife is not in a grave." Speaking in the same language.

Kaure turned around to leave. Bella gagged and went to the sink. I put my hands on her forehead and I realized it was the food Kaure left that had caused the nausea – it was onions and fish – very strong. I speedily put the dish away in the refrigerator.

The nausea controlled, Bella rinsed her mouth and I held her. She moved her hand to her stomach.

Kaure was watching. _This girl is sick from the smell of the food and she holds her stomach. She is with his child! _Kaure's face showed absolute horror. _What a beast of a creature! The conception of an abomination! They must be stopped. The unborn beast cannot be born. Oh my dear god what have they done? I will die trying to kill them both. The conception of an abomination cannot live._

I put Bella behind me, shielding her from the small stature of the Brazilian woman. Too old and frail to do any harm, but I could not allow Bella to be in danger. Kaure then shouted what she had thought only seconds before.

I knew I had to calm the intense situation down. I counted quickly. There was no harm to any of us, Gustavo was in his boat. I would not take this woman's life but she sensed what I am and her legends may hold the key to our dilemma.

Her shouting became more directed at me and I stepped forward. Bella grabbed my arm, unsure of what I would do. I was calm and controlled. My response was whispered to Kaure in her native tongue. I asked her what she knew of the legend of the blood drinkers and whether the love I demonstrated to my wife and the joy Bella and I shared resembled the blood demons of her legends.

Her response was both a challenge and a question. She told me of the deaths of the beautiful women that fell in love with the blood drinkers that the demons would seduce the women. The women were all put in a trance and never recovered, even when they were minutes from death. If I were a demon blood drinker I must come forth and tell the truth and free my wife.

She continued describing the similarities, like the blood drinkers spoken of in the village legends, there was no food consumed in this house until the woman. There were no toothbrushes or dirty bathrooms until the woman. Your skin glows and you move too swiftly just like the blood drinkers. "You are that which the legend speaks?"

I stepped closer to her and nodded.

Kaure backed away from me and made the motion of the cross. _Oh holy mother Mary protect us._

I had confirmed what she already knew. But she did not know my love for Bella. I would confirm that as well. I began to put forth my defenses.

I told her no harm would ever come to Bella as long as I existed.

_You lie, I have seen the bruises, you must die._ Kaure thought.

Bella was the only reason for my life and I reached and touched Bella's face softly, explaining that Bella had decided not to live without me.

_You must free the girl._

I told Kaure that Bella's pain would also be mine.

Kaure replied that I should not touch Bella, _Take your hands away _-- such a touch was unnatural and I could not change the laws of nature and God. I must free Bella. I would kill her if I didn't.

I knew that not all of what Kaure knew of vampires was accurate. Even when Bella first found out, she asked me ridiculous questions about stakes, coffins and the sun.

I remained calm and again defended my love for Bella, my strong emotions and how I had changed. In the native tongue of Kaure, I told her that I never drank human blood, only animals. I asked her whether she had ever seen two more devoted lovers. When I touched my Bella she did not cringe away.

_She looks at him with the eyes of youthful love. _

I told Kaure to look at how she was holding my arm, pulling me closer to her.

_She doesn't shiver at his touch, and seems to seek it no matter where he stands._

I asked in the ancient language if the tears that were on my wife's face could be there if she were in a trance.

_She has changed her emotions from sad, frightened and I have seen her happy._

Finally, I begged her to tell me of the legends, so that I could save Bella's life. Bella was with child, I confessed in the Ticunan dialect.

Kaure, made a circular motion over her stomach in front of her own body. I nodded. Kaure then took a few steps toward us. She was still concerned about Bella. We began a rapid round of questions and answers in the guttural tongue of her childhood.

"Where are you taking her?" Kaure asked.

"To our home in the states, we do not know what she carries."

"Will you return here?"

"Only if my wife desires," I assured of Bella's choices.

"Will you leave her if she desires?"

"Yes."

"Is she able to leave you if she desires?"

"Yes."

"If she dies, do you promise that you will die also?"

"Yes."

"Then you may ask your questions." She agreed in her dialect.

"What does she carry?"

"A monster that will kill"

"Will my wife live?

"Your demon seed has killed her."

I remembered the pain of living without Bella, of believing she was dead and the stress of the last hour fell on my face. Despair.

"And the seed?"

Kaure considered Bella and walked to her. Bella's hand had not left her stomach. Kaure placed her hand over Bella's hand. She said the word that she had known would crush me further and she said it in Portuguese so that even Bella would understand. She said, "morte."

This small framed human woman had defeated me and sentenced me to absolute death. I did not move. Kaure left the house and got into the boat, vowing she would never return.

I wanted to count. How many heartbeats did Bella have left. Each one was a prized joy to my ears. I could not count now, we needed to leave, just as I was about to ask if Bella was ready she walked toward the bedroom.

"Where are you going?" I asked not moving my position or changing my facial expression.

"I want to brush my teeth again." She answered.

"Don't worry about what she said. It's just a bunch of old legends, it's lies told for entertainment purposes." I tried to make the words said by Kaure meaningless, but I knew, we all believed in legends and old folk tales. Bella was detached from my words of assurance.

"I didn't understand anything." She lied. I knew it, but it didn't matter. Death would not come to my wife. She was once again downplaying her concern for my benefit and I would let her.

"I'll get your toothbrush it's packed." I moved to the bedroom and removed the items.

"Are we leaving soon?"

"As soon as you're done."

I stood by the bathroom, glad to be her valet, but we did need to hurry. When she was done, I packed her toothbrush and grabbed the luggage.

"I'll get the bags into the boat."

"Edward?" Her voice was strangely emotionless.

"Yes?"

"Could you pack some food. I might get hungry."

"Of course. Don't worry about anything. We'll be home soon and this will all be over." I continued to move along the only road to keep Bella safe that I knew.

After the bags were in the yacht and the little food I grabbed, I carried Bella to the boat. She held tightly to me, crying softly in my arms. I wanted to soothe her but I knew we had to catch our flight. When I set her down, she handed me my phone.

"You forgot this on the counter."

"Thank you." I turned on the engine and we were heading west to the mainland. Bella stood facing me, both arms wrapped around my waist. Our bodies close together. I faced north, she south. I had one arm on the wheel and the other around her. I kissed her forehead. She cried. We were chasing the sun but our eyes were looking in the opposite direction east. We both watched Isle Esme forlornly as it disappeared into the darkening horizon.


	8. Chapter 8 Family Ties

A/N - Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight

We spoke few words on our way home. Bella seemed unusually distracted when she wasn't sound asleep. I was used to her avoidance tactics, having experienced it several times while on the island, but now it was more disconcerting that she did not want to talk, but it was too public to have such conversations.

I watched her thin body carefully for any signs of trouble. Her blood pressure was increased and heart rate was normal, yet there was a different smell to her blood that I hadn't acknowledged. The scent of her blood had been locked away in the back of my thoughts for so long that overlooking the scent was like ignoring the thoughts of others in a crowded room or the dust motes in the air. It was a mere buzz in the background, something irritating and disregarded, in order to control the monster. But now, I knew that there was something more flowing through her veins, making her scent more tantalizing, more proliferate. It wasn't necessarily different but exponentially increased, there was simply more blood. I could see it flowing through her translucent skin. It was better for me to not focus on that.

I watched her facial expressions, ever ready for mood changes or any indication of pain. She displayed no such clues. I woke her as our plane was ready to land just around lunchtime. "Bella? We're home."

She opened her eyes and readjusted her body to sit upright as instructed by the airline stewards. Her feline stretch was slower. "We're home?" she yawned.

"How do you feel?" My concern was evident.

"Edward, I'm fine." She said it without looking at me, slight irritation in her tone, and as if to make it the concluding word on the subject she added, "really."

Ignoring the finality of her tone, "How's the nausea?"

"I haven't had any since we left Houston." She turned to give me a faint smile, her voice a plea to end the subject.

Somehow, her eyes were saying something more, "What are you thinking?" I asked.

She paused and I knew she wouldn't tell me the truth because all the markers of a lie were present when she answered. She looked away, bit her bottom lip, her heart rate changed and she hesitated. "I'm . . . ready . . .to see-- our family."

I was confused. Why would she lie about what she was thinking? Lie to me? We were past such deceptions; at least I'd thought so. Was she angry at what I'd done to her? Was she in so much pain that she wanted to hide it, as she'd done on so many other occasions? Was she just scared? Before I could figure out the pieces to this disturbing puzzle, she started asking me questions, distracting, and mundane questions.

"Did you pack my blue sandals? Where is the camera? Do you think the whole family will be at the airport? You think I can get something to eat?" After I answered the fifteenth question in a row, the inquisition ceased. Her eyes began to mist over and sadness seemed to fall on her.

I forgot about her distracting questions and the puzzling lie. She must be fearful, I assumed. I reassured my wife that everything would be fine. She'd be safe soon. There was no need to worry. The more I comforted her, the more desponded she became so I began to distract her with mundane questions of my own. It was difficult to think of such trivial things when her life was in jeopardy.

"When do you want to call Charlie? Do you think the weather will be nice when we get home? Are you cold? Do you think we should call Renee and Phil?"

She indulged my questions with friendly responses, seemingly welcoming the respite from the danger she was exposed to, yet again.

The entire family greeted us at the airport. Carlisle and Esme were the first to give us hugs, Esme lingering close to Bella after their embrace. I knew that Carlisle would have told them everything. It was comforting to be home and share their thoughts.

Jasper nodded his head to us, while Alice enthusiastically hugged us both. "I was so worried something happened to you both. I've missed you. You can't imagine how boring it's been around here."_ Careful for Rosalie, she's on the war path and it's not good._

I couldn't grasp how Rosalie could turn our situation into her feud. She was self-consumed and little interested in things that did not revolve around her. I incorrectly concluded that her wrath had nothing to do with us.

Rosalie glared at me when we came into the aisles leading to the elevators. Bella wiggled away from me and ran into the open arms of Rosalie.

"Let's go Bella." Rosalie insisted as they turned and walked away. _We will not let you kill her baby._ "I've made arrangement for you to stay elsewhere." _You cannot be trusted Edward, you have to let her go._

I froze in place. It all made sense: the silence, the lie, the distraction. She wasn't afraid of the pregnancy. She did not want it to end. Somehow – she had my phone --she elicited the support of Rosalie to make sure she could keep the . . . And Rosalie was taking Bella away from me. Rosalie!?!

Before I could move to stop their departure, Carlisle placed his hand on my shoulder, "Easy son." He spoke calmly. "There will not be a scene here." Carlisle looked to Jasper who speedily came to my side. I shook Carlisle hand away and stepped forward.

"No, I will not leave him." I heard Bella whisper and hold her ground as Rosalie tried to move her forward. Rosalie spun around to face Bella's frozen stance and their eyes locked.

"This is difficult enough, staying will only make it much more complicated." Rosalie argued. There was several seconds when I wasn't sure which woman's resolve would win out. Finally, as if Bella had an epiphany, she broke.

"I know," she turned to me – reached out her hand, beckoned me. I took it, hungrily. The enormous hurt of the momentary separation would have overwhelmed me had it not been for Jasper's calming talents. But more than the confusion and hurt another dangerous thing had roared its ugly head. My murderous monster had awakened again.

A new campaign was on the forefront, a new enemy. My loathsome bloodlust found its second victim in less than twenty-four hours – my sister. It sought Rosalie with her golden eyes, blond hair and stunning features. Bella's last would be killer, Victoria, was the last to face the angry monster and lost.

Our mortal enemy, the ugly harpy fate had an ally and so did I.

There would be no more discord in front of so many people, I quickly surmised and evaluated an attack plan. We had to leave the crowded airport. I longed for Jasper's thoughts, he was the battle warrior, he'd know how to waylay Rosalie and eradicate the threat to Bella.

I knew the monster was controlling my thoughts, but I didn't care. I would not lose Bella again and the monster had the best chance at success. I would embrace that part of myself.

I held my wife's hand but Rosalie stayed wrapped around Bella's waist, never more than a few inches from us. I watched Rosalie, summarizing her moves, her weaknesses. I would wait. Once our bags were retrieved, we went to the parking deck. Rosalie nearly carried Bella. When they continued to Rosalie's car, I tried to redirect her to the Mercedes with Carlisle and Esme.

My immediate plan to flee with Bella would be foiled if we didn't ride with Carlisle, Rosalie would be on my heels immediately. There would be more time if we rode with Carlisle. I glared at Rosalie, her stark hands gripped around Bella. I couldn't separate the two without harming Bella.

"What are you doing?" I asked Bella as she continued to Rosalie's red convertible.

"We're riding with Rosalie." She was determined.

"I'd like us to spend the time with Carlisle and Esme"

"Not now."

Defeated, I slummed over to Rosalie's car and watched Bella go inside, I quickly took my seat beside her. I was certain that Rosalie would leave me given the opportunity. There'd be no escape.

Rosalie drove and Emmett was in the front seat. Bella laid her hand across my chest and it seemed that she was going to go to sleep. This was damn frustrating, that incompetent monster residing inside of me was a failure.

"Bella, you should go ahead and tell him now, before we get to the house." Rosalie said.

I was totally baffled by their familiarity. It was as if Rosalie and Bella were united, yet not. "I've already heard your sick thoughts Rosalie. This conversation will have to wait until we are home, otherwise I can't guarantee that I will not cause you harm while you're driving and that would endanger Bella more than her condition." I looked at my Bella.

Betrayal.

Bella spoke with stubborn certainty, her hand placed to keep me calm. "I'm not going to let you harm the baby. I will not."

I was very still. How could she do this, now? Here in Rosalie's car? I felt the monster's anger rise, the venom began to well, my fingers clawed. Rosalie's thoughts rushed in my head. _You will not kill her baby, we won't let you Edward. You might as well get used to seeing me, because I will not leave her side. The baby will have a chance to live. Moron. Idiot._

I growled, ready to take Rosalie's head off. "Shut up, Rosalie." I barked.

"Stop listening," Rosalie said defiantly.

"Settle down, man. Just listen to your wife." Emmett said.

"No, not here!" I yelled loudly enough for everyone to hear from several cars away and the windows rattled.

Bella startled and threw her hands to her ears. She settled back into the seat, she opened her mouth about to speak. She looked into my dark eyes and realized the folly. I had no control. Hurt, betrayal and anger overwhelmed me and I was the monster ready to kill.

Rosalie concentrated on the roar of the engine how to fine tune it, avoiding and blocking any thoughts of the current situation. I was grateful that I would not have to savagely silence her thoughts in front of Bella. Emmett considered ways in which to protect Rosalie from my threatened attack. _Stay calm Edward, I won't let you harm her and you know it._ I counted the only heartbeat in the car.

As we reached the county line, Bella reached over and took my hand in hers. She didn't speak. She then placed her arm around my shoulder, to comfort me. Comfort me! I was so very appalled. I was her protector and that evil, hateful angel providence, was condemning my wife to death yet again, with Rosalie's help. It was absurd.

My body shook momentarily. I would lose my wife. I despised the thing growing in her, for I knew what it was. It was the same monster that I fought daily, the one seeking the death of my own sister. It was also the one Bella fought: fate. There would be nothing. Bella held me close. She stroked my hair and whispered over and over softly in my ear, I love you. I knew she did, but not enough to end this.

We reached the white house and immediately went into the dining room. Carlisle and Esme were at the table seated, hands together. Alice and Jasper were seated next to Esme, with Alice between them. The rest of us joined. There were no absolute sides to the issue and no clear lines drawn, except for Rosalie.

I looked at the audacity of those seated at the table. What the hell did they have to do with any of this? It was not their business, yet they sat as if they had a right to decide, a vote, a will. Bella belonged to me and so did that half-breed thing. It was my responsibility to handle the two of them as I saw fit. I would humor them all through this meeting, knowing full well that I would have the ultimate decision.

I would talk reasonably to all of them, tell them it is a decision between me and Bella. Convince them that more complications were not needed, especially involving an unstable Rosalie.

I wasn't sure what deal the two women had made, but I was certain it would not be in Bella's best interests.

I leaned forward gazing around the room, ready to convince. Bella did not give me a chance to say anything once everyone was seated.

"From this point on, Rosalie will prevent anyone from interfering with my pregnancy. I know you all may believe that the pregnancy is dangerous, but I'm willing to take that chance. I want this baby." She turned to look at me. "Edward, I want to have your child."

If she could have a reasonable conversation, so would I. I garnered my control and spoke in my most reasonable voice. "Bella, we don't know what – that is inside of you. It will feed on you, kill you."

"I don't think so." Her eyes seemed to glass over with tears. "This is a part of you. Of all the things you have given me – a car, a magical honeymoon, your love, a reason to live – none of it will ever be more cherished than your baby. You said so before – you wished we had the potential – you want this too Edward."

She'd already imagined it as a baby, something to love and cherish, a part of me. I saw it for what it was, a horrid new born vampire lusting for human blood, uncontrolled and unmanageable destined to kill her—just like it's father.

"I don't want _it_." My guttural voice was full of wrath.

I knew my words stunned her beyond any pain she'd ever felt. Large drops of tears fell from her eyes, unwiped they dropped onto the table.

Someone, probably Esme gasped and then my mind was full of thoughts. _Be kind, son. No. Careful. Hurtful. Idiot. Settle down. Jerk._ Of course Rosalie's insults were the loudest. I blocked them all out putting their unwelcomed thoughts in the same space as the ugly monster, to be used when needed.

My words were true, but I was wrong to hurt her. I had crossed the line. For several seconds no one said anything. I felt no shame in my words, they were necessary, Bella had to understand. I would not allow that leech to survive. It was Bella who released us all from her awful few seconds.

She shook her head, her forehead creased in deep concentration, and her tears stopped. She was resolute as she looked into my eyes, "Yes, you do want this baby, Edward. Our baby—a part of our love, part of me too."

I didn't even try to let her soothing words sink into me. A part of her? What part? The weak human part, too fragile to withstand the violent tendencies of my vampire offspring? No that thing was fully dominant vampire and only a part of her, because it resided within her. Like any parasite, it needed to be killed and removed. Otherwise, it would kill her. That was not love.

"Bella it's too dangerous."

"No matter what it is -- I want our baby to live. I want you to promise me you will not force me to do otherwise." She was so self assured and in command. How did that happen? Where did she find the gumption to make this decision without understanding everything? It must be her emotional hormones, yet again controlling her actions, but they would not control mine.

"I can't promise that Bella, I don't know what is going to happen. What it will do." I lied. I knew exactly what it would do and there was no way I would allow it.

"Then if you can't promise _that_ to me, then I have no choice but to keep Rosalie at my side, so that you will not force your choice on me."

"What are you saying—that you need a body guard to protect you from your husband?" The anger was seeping out of my control.

"Yes."

"Why?" I growled.

"I know you love me more than you love what's inside of me." She touched her stomach. "I can't allow you to take advantage of my--vulnerabilities."

I knew she was right. I _would_ force my choice on her. I would take her to the nearest clinic, drugged if necessary and have the pregnancy terminated. If she wanted to have this child, she _would_ need protection from me. I would take her away, even knowing she'd hate me afterwards, probably never love me the same; but I couldn't let my mistake cost her her life. She would die from my demon seed. I could no longer bear the stress. I stood up from my seat. Emmett stood as well.

I looked at each of my family members and then my wife. "Are you leaving? Going into hiding?"

"No. Are you?"

I shook my head at the absurdity of deserting her. "Then for today, neither of us will give in. An impasse." I kissed her forehead, turned, and walked out of the glass back door, past the ancient row of trees.

I heard Bella's voice still in control, very self assured, as I paused. "He'll be okay. Everything will be fine, he'll be glad about this." No one answered. No one moved. _Is he running away? Idiot can't face the music – he doesn't deserve this potential. Childish. Jerk._ The insults flew and it was obvious, I was on my own – me and the monster within. My monster versus the one Bella carried, both a part of me, only one would survive and it wasn't going to be the one killing Bella.

I heard her get up from the table, "I'm going to take a shower; it was a long flight."

I bound the river and my feet began moving swiftly across the ground, barely touching the underbrush. I ran in the misty air to the outskirts of Seattle. I planned. I fashioned several skirmishes that would allow me to take control of my wife and this situation.

I laughed at the arrogance of my thoughts. I had always assumed that it was me that controlled my monster, when in fact, it was Bella. She was able to tame it more completely and thoroughly. How I desired to influence her in the same manner, but she was stubborn. I was out of my league and so was the murderous monster within me.

It was late afternoon when I defeatedly returned home. My thoughts were more organized and so was the monster. I had several options, knowing I would put none of them into play.

I walked into the open area of the house, the place where we were married and the room looked as it did before the wedding. There were a few new pieces of furniture, in particular a long white sofa with two matching armchairs. It gave the room a clean, inviting feeling.

Sitting on the sofa were Rosalie, who did not acknowledge my presence and Bella. Bella's face lit up when she saw me, the anger, hurt and betrayal were no longer in her eyes. My world began and ended when our eyes met, she was able to forgive enough for the both us. I kissed Bella on the cheek and she returned a kiss to my lips. For the time, there was no argument, hurt or betrayal.

"I missed you." Her perfect lips curled upright and everything was right would the world. I smiled, how could I not give her the world? Was I certain that I was making the right decision?

"I missed you too. I won't be gone as long next time." I promised.

"Good."

Soon Alice came to sit on the other side of me. Alice and I hadn't talked since we arrived home. _Glad to have you home. _ She thought.

I didn't reply. The run had cleared my head enough to question. Was I drawing the line too quickly? Should I make a decision tomorrow? What did Bella know? I needed to talk to her, without Rosalie.

Carlisle called my name. _Edward._ I turned to my wife, "Carlisle wants to talk to me. Promise to be here when I return?" I was sickened by my own insecurities, I had to get a hold of myself. The talk with Carlisle was long overdue.

"I am not leaving, Edward," she guaranteed.

Rosalie leaned in closer to Bella -- her arm around Bella's shoulders. _Don't worry, we won't leave unless you make an idiotic move._

"Would you like something to eat?" I smiled weakly at my wife, ignoring Rosalie. "Maybe some eggs?"

"That sounds wonderful." She blushed lightly. I expelled a breath of air as I watched her rub her belly.

"What would you like to drink, Bella?" Rosalie asked, sounding maternal.

"Maybe some milk."

"I'll fix them." Esme offered as she came down the stairs and went into the kitchen before I could refuse her help.

I kissed Bella on the forehead and walked to Carlisle's office. Alice rose to follow with Jasper on our heels. Carlisle was behind his desk, a thick book in hand. He stood as we entered the room.

"I'm sorry we didn't talk earlier. I'm glad you're home." His double meanings ignored.

I didn't feel very diplomatic or cordial and sure didn't want to have a silly unnecessary talk with the family. I glared at Alice and Jasper. Why were they in here? I knew I needed to focus on the real issues at hand. Eventually, my family would know everything anyway. There were no secrets.

I wanted answers – I needed answers. "What's inside of her Carlisle?"

"I'm not sure. I've researched the matter and I haven't found anything like you and Bella anywhere in the writings." He took a deep breath.

I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. I could tell by the slow human pace that it was Bella, with Rosalie and Esme on either side.

I turned to Alice. "Can you tell me what's going on?" I realized that maybe Alice had not considered the matter. Her thoughts were scattered, never focused on anything of importance. Was she blocking her thoughts from me?

"I can't see anything, Edward." Her trilling voice was higher than normal, an indication of fear and frustration. "Every time I look for Bella, I can't see her – I can see around her, but not her."

"What do you mean you can't see me?" Bella was standing in the room, walking towards me, pushing away from Rosalie who hesitated to let Bella go. I readied myself to knock Rosalie's hold off of Bella. Emmett suddenly appeared in the space.

"I'm not really sure how to explain." _Relax Edward!_ Alice turned to me, pausing long enough for Bella to come to my side. "Well – you know I can't see you when you're with werewolves. It's the same thing now, I can't see you."

"What does that mean?"Bella asked placing her hand on her stomach.

"It means that _it_ isn't anything." I growled.

"I don't believe that." She was very lucid and spoke each word as if it were an entire sentence.

Rosalie moved to comfort Bella, "it just means that the baby is something that Alice has never seen before." _You will not change her mind._

I could feel my fury taken control over the harden veins throughout my body, my muscles constricting ready to spring forward and devour those who would challenge my right to decide the fate of the half breed monster. The room suddenly seemed overcrowded -- I shifted my body in front of Bella to stop Rosalie's advance, my hands clawed and I infinitesimally lowered my stance. Emmett watched my movement and shouted at me, "Calm down, Edward." _You will not touch her!_

Jasper quickly came to my side and charged peace and calmness over us. We all stood as if we had already chosen sides. Rosalie, Emmett and Esme were all facing me. Jasper and Alice at my sides. Carlisle stood half way between me and Esme. It was the tensest moment the seven of us had ever had as a family. Then I remembered that we were a family. Our bonds would hold long after this matter ended – long after Bella and I no longer existed. I fought that feeling of calmness. I fought my reasoning. I wanted my fury to remain and end this unnatural state of being.

Another wave of peace was sent, hitting me straight from Jasper resonating more securely in my dead bones. Bella took my arm and began rubbing it softly, gently. "Edward, you can't."

I knew she was right. I let the calmness envelop me further and stood from my ready battle position. The monster would have to wait for another opportunity. I once again was out of my league.

"I'm sorry Rosalie, I know you are just following Bella's wishes. Emmett you can relax. Esme, my behavior was inexcusable. I apologize everyone, it won't happen again." I feigned patience and waited for everyone to accept my apology. Rosalie did -- in her own way._ Apology accepted, moron. But I will still keep an eye on you._

"Carlisle there're things that we need to discuss and it is pointless to keep the discussion private from Bella and everyone else. We should all go into the dining room and allow her to eat, while we – explore options." Yes, I would behave and wait until . . .

Until that time, I would act normal, be the loving groom. I appeared in control with Bella's hand wrapped around my arms. I needed her.

I had to let her know that I would do anything, stop at nothing, to keep her with me. I turned to Bella, a new plan in play, now certain that I had strength to do battle. Yes, if I could caress her, hold her, and convince her then –

"Bella, I will make you a deal." Everyone turned to me confused.

"I'm not sure we can make a deal on _this_ Edward."

"I want alone time with you." I said it so that everyone knew that I was making a reasonable request, one that even her body guard would not be able to prevent. It seemed to cool the room, allowing a few relaxed sighs.

"It's a trick Bella." Rosalie interjected. _Stay out of this, you will make it worse. _

Bella's eyes did not leave mine. She seemed to see my sincerity and connected to my unabashed smile. "No Rose, it isn't. Our deals are never tricks and he would never go back on his end of the bargain." A blush came to her cheeks. "And in exchange for this alone time?" She asked.

"I would follow your wishes regarding _this_, but only during our alone time and you cannot request of me that which I cannot give." I committed.

"And how much time are you requesting?" A twinkle crossed her eyes.

"Forever is too long I imagine?"

"Be more reasonable."

"Twelve hours a day then, you can even sleep during the time, if you wish."

"Is that twelve consecutive hours or in shifts?" The corners of her lips curved up.

"You decide." My hands connecting to her arms.

"It's a deal then."

We kissed to seal our bargain and devotion. This would not separate us. Our family had already left the room, noting that the deal began immediately. I could hear Rosalie on the other side of the door. _Idiots, the both of them. This is too risky, but I won't let you get away with anything. I'll be in there as soon as her heartbeat moves six inches toward that window._

I caressed my wife's shoulders and back as I sat on the couch and held her in my lap.

"I've missed you." She purred.

"I know."

"Are you angry with me?"

"Extremely, but I don't want to talk about it right now."

"I didn't plan to leave you, _that_ was Rosalie's idea."

I didn't say anything. The pain at watching her walk away from me at the airport was excruciating. I knew we were both emotionally drained and I didn't want to think about anything but her in my arms. Neither of us would be able to survive a separation. We were quiet for a few seconds. I listened to her heart and enjoyed her warm body in my arms. This is what I was fighting for.

"Edward?"

"Yes, sweetheart."

"I can't tell you how sorry I am about Rosalie's presumptions."

"Please Bella, not now. I can't." I knew if she continued I would be forced into a melancholy state, a dark stupor. We had work to do and I needed my wits about me. As if in response she leaned to face me and put her lips to mine. We kissed, a passionate embrace ensued and warm emotions rose between the two of us. Unfortunately, a low rumble also came from her stomach.

"Let's get some food in you." We walked back to the dining room, a plate of hot eggs was already on the table.

While Bella ate, Carlisle talked. "I'm unsure regarding the genetic make-up of the – fetus. I'd like to complete an examination, if you'd allow, Bella."

"Will there be needles?" Her eyes were wide with fear. It was incredible, she feared a small needle, yet the life-ending-half-breed creature sure to stab straight through her body was of no concern.

"Bella, we need to determine what's going on – I'm unsure how to complete the exam without taking blood." Carlisle was very tender in his request.

"We can't go to the hospital, Charlie will find out."

"A trip to the hospital isn't necessary. I've prepared an examination room upstairs. I have everything we need to perform a thorough physical -- we can do it whenever you wish."

"You didn't need to go to so much trouble."

"Yes, we did. It's as safe and equipped as the hospital, but more private. At the rate of development, it would be difficult to explain."

"Thank you." Her hand found mine. "Will the exam hurt the baby?"

"The exam is only to gather facts. There will be no harm." Carlisle seemed to collect his thoughts. "Bella, I am unable to do anything against your wishes -- but you should know that if the decision is between you and the fetus then Edward will decide."

"But that is only if I'm incapacitated right?" Her concern showed.

"No, Bella." He paused and looked at me and then gently back to her. "If it's determined that the fetus is feeding on you, abnormally, we must terminate the pregnancy. You both would be lost otherwise." He took a deep breath and she squeezed my hand. "Also if the infant is venomous, or dominate vampire, then it'll kill you before you have a chance to carry to term. He'd have to decide. It would be tragic for him – for us to lose you both. You have to know, this is an extremely dangerous situation."

"I don't understand why Edward would get to make the decision and not me."

"Because you would hold on to hope – rather than consider the objective facts. You'd believe there was a chance that the fetus would survive, when there wasn't." He looked at me and spoke. "Edward, you must make the decision that saves the most lives."

I looked at Bella and there was a "v" formed between her eyebrows. She asked a seemingly unrelated question, "Carlisle, when would it be safe to turn me into a vampire?"

"Not until you are no longer pregnant."

"And how much damage would be too much -- beyond the ability to transform me into a vampire?"

"As long as your heart beats, I think your body would be able to repair itself during the transformation."

"Then -- I suggest that we allow the pregnancy to complete its natural course and no matter what happens to me, you not interfere, as long as my heart continues to beat. Once the baby is able to survive on its own, we let it be born, and if there is any injury to me, turn me into a vampire. Edward can have the ultimate decision at any time my heart fails. I imagine everyone knows cpr?"

Emmett started laughing. "I like that idea. Of course we know CPR. Sounds do-able." Rosalie chimed in, "yes Bella that could work." _And if it doesn't we will make sure that at least one of you will survive._

"I don't want Bella risking her life" I growled. They were making decisions about my wife, taking away my authority. This had to stop now. "_We're_ not making any decisions until after the examination tomorrow." I emphasized the 'we' by nodding to Bella. "Let's let you finish eating."

The rest of the evening was spent quietly in front of the flat screen television. I'm not sure Emmett, Rosalie or Bella paid any attention to the movie that played. The events of the day had left its mark on all of us. Bella seemed to be the only one oblivious to the tension and distress, or at least better at blocking out the effects.

Carlisle, the consummate learner, poured over enormous medical books preparing for the physical examination he would perform on Bella in the morning. He was anxious to figure out what was going on and excited at the challenge. Esme sat in the small alcove upstairs in Carlisle office; she worried about her family and whether the events of the day would rip us apart, barely revising the architectural plans for a small renovation she was working on.

Alice spent the evening upstairs in her room with Jasper. I monitored her thoughts most of the night, hoping she had some clues as to what the future held for Bella. In the end, even Alice tired of looking for the future and began a drawing, which she hid from her thoughts.

Bella dozed in and out during the movie, the rest of us sat quietly on the couch, not talking. Emmett's thoughts were of his last hunting trip, he'd finally found an angry enough bear to give him a challenge and wondered about creating a video game based on the kill.

I refused to hear Rosalie's psychotic thoughts—it would only anger me. Call the angry monster into action. Eventually Bella ended the horrendous day and was ready to go to bed.

Bella slept in my small bachelor room on the large oak bed which took up all of the space. I held her throughout the night while Rosalie stood guard outside of the open door.

In the morning after Bella's failed attempt to hold down breakfast, Carlisle began running his test. Bella's stomach had frighteningly grown considerable since our arrival home.

"Your morning sickness should end soon. It's not unusual for women to have it throughout the second trimester. For now, you should drink as much of the nutritional supplement shakes as possible. If the nausea doesn't end soon though, we'll need to figure out alternatives." Carlisle then analyzed the tests.

"There is a fair amount of excess blood in your system, which is as unusual as is the extra hormones. Your blood carries enough pregnancy hormones for three women. I'm not sure of the significance, though it's probably related to the accelerated growth rate of the fetus. Like all pregnancies, the fetus has its own supply of blood. I'm not sure whether it's human or vampire but the placenta is fully human and it's located around the back of the uterine wall. It is attached to an impervious thin layer of what looks like vampire skin." He showed us an ultrasound DVD that made the thing look like a large imposing tumor.

"How come we can't see the baby?" Bella asked?

"The amniotic sac is not transparent. The fetus is well protected for now." Carlisle answered.

Bella smiled, "I'm glad."

"It is not a good thing Bella." His voice dashed her glee. "The fetus is – trapped so once it is ready to be born, only vampire teeth are strong enough to open the sac."

Carlisle was being much too diplomatic. The fetus would rip, bite and claw Bella apart in order to be born. My hatred for that thing grew stronger each hour.

"I'm sure you're anxious about the most basic question: the due date? Unfortunately, I don't know. We clearly can't go by the normal nine month gestational average. My best guess is about three to four more weeks."

We only have three weeks! I released Bella's hand and clutched mine, my knuckles white. I gnarled ready to remove the beast myself. My words thundered from my mouth, cold and threatening.

"End this."

No one replied.

"End this now or -- I will." I promised.

"No, Edward." My wife's anger flared and her eyes burned dark. "And you will not. I am having this baby and there is nothing you will do to stop me. You cannot control what goes on in my body. This is a life and precious and I am not going to end anything so you better just . . ." She stopped midsentence as if a new more important thing needed to be said. She stood up, glaring at all of us – one at a time and then without any further warning her wrath continued.

"Edward Cullen you are excused – alone time six hours in ten minutes our bedroom and you better not be all melancholy."

Her hand waved me away like I was nothing more than an irritating Georgia horsefly, nipping at her ear. I moved to the doorway, unsure whether her rage would provoke a room full of easily angered vampires. I stayed. She ignored me.

"As for the rest of you, I am sick of hearing – it's too dangerous and all this dread. Your stand-offish behavior is unbearable. I want it to stop – now! From now on we will do this the human way. This is your son's baby I'm carrying." She pointed her finger angrily at Carlisle and Esme and then jerked her hand fanning it around my brothers and sisters. "And your brother's child and you all will act like it." She then called attendance.

"Carlisle you can do your test but I don't want to hear about any bad stuff. You find a way for me to have your grandchild." She paused, waiting for his acknowledgment of his assignment.

Carlisle nodded. "I will do my best Bella." _She is extremely hormonal and a bit unpredictable, Edward. You may want to make sure there is nothing breakable near her. Grandchild . . ._ A genuine smile came on his youthful face, making him look even younger.

"Esme, I want a baby shower, just the eight of us."

"Of course, dear." Bella grinned but didn't look away from Esme, she waited until Esme spoke again. "We will have it a week from today." Esme smiled. _Please calm her down Edward, it's not good for her to be so upset. _

"I am growing out of my clothes, look at this Alice!" She yanked on my over-sized shirt that she was wearing. Her sweat pants were hanging below her stomach, stretched and leaving ribbed imprints around her waist. "I need maternity clothes!"

"Oh Bella, I – I didn't . . . you will have something to wear first thing in the morning." Alice trilled. She turned and looked at me thinking: _ I can't take sides Edward. I love you both._

Bella gave orders to her body guards. "Rose and Emmett, you cut my husband a break. No more taunting. Other than that – keep doing what you're doing."

"We'll be nicer and keep you here." Rosalie promised. _We will not let you take her away, try and you will be sorry. Idiot. She's angry enough to leave now!_

"And Jaspar, well, you just make them happy."

"Okay, Bella." _That wife of yours is something else – yeah something else – you got to love her._

She then looked around the room, slightly less angry but still emphatic, "I am happy to be pregnant with Edward's baby. This is a happy time for me and I admit I'm scared but I don't care what happens to me. I want his baby and none of you have congratulated me once. Rose and Emmett tried to separate me from my husband; Carlisle runs tests; Edward's furious at me and Alice –" She started to blubber "you won't even speak to me. Esme and Jasper are the only ones who treat me the same, but you all didn't congratulate us either." By the time she finished, she was in a full blown hysterical fit.

I sat there and watched every other vampire in the room hug, kiss and comfort my wife. They congratulated her, told her she was glowing and how happy they were for her. Magnificently, she had single handedly in less than three minutes removed my allies to her camp. If I was going to end this pregnancy, I'd have to do it alone.

Then like turning off a faucet, her lamenting ceased and her mood changed to absolute devotion, and with delight she declared, "I love you all so much, and I'm really happy to be a part of this family. You all are so kind to do so much for us."

Just when it seemed that she was calming, her emotions drove her to deep regret. Her eyes opened widely, her hand flew over her mouth, and she shook her head. "Oh, I can't believe those cruel things I said to all of you. Please forgive me. You all did not deserve _that_. And Edward, oh what I'm putting him through. You all could lose all three of us. I'm so sorry, so very, very sorry. What was I thinking?" The faucet was turned back on and the tears flowed.

I was getting a whip flash from the ease with which she changed sentiments. I tried to tell her that I was going to our room, but I couldn't reach her, there were twelve cold hands on my wife -- comforting her. I turned and walked out, since I was excused anyway, and went to our bedroom. No one seemed to notice.

---

Over the next few days things fell into a sort of routine. Bella would wake in my arms and have morning sickness. Rosalie would help her get dressed in the maternity clothes Alice had picked out, while Esme fixed her breakfast. Bella would take a few bites and throw up. Carlisle would run tests and examine her several times a day, always amazed at the rate of growth from one hour to the next. We all tried to keep her fed throughout the day. Mostly, she spent her days downstairs and her nights with me alone, well, as alone as we could be with Rosalie at watch by our bedroom door.

Bella was nurtured by Rosalie and Esme throughout those first few days we were home. Alice was thrilled to shop for baby and maternity clothes but spent most of her time with Emmett and Jasper away from the house. Alice said that being near the fetus caused her violent headaches.

On the day of the shower, Bella had very little energy. Bella had lost over ten pounds and her pregnancy showed tremendously. She had not been able to stomach anything of substance for over ten days. Her body provided for the fetus, and nothing nourished her. The pregnancy was becoming more dangerous, but no one but me would talk about that with Bella. I begged her, pouted and even stopped speaking to her for a very short time, but she did not relinquish.

At the baby shower, everyone pretended it was a normal human celebration rather than what it actually was -- a shower for my cursed seed. It was sickening, but my family ignored by objections. They laughed, helped Bella with her nausea, and exuded excitement at the _blessed_ event.

"I want to talk to Charlie." Bella announced.

"It might not be a good idea, he will want to come visit." I told her.

"I'll tell him I have a communicable disease that I caught in South America. Carlisle can tell him I'm quarantined or something. I promised him I'd call." It seemed like a reasonable request and the call went well. Charlie even believed the cover story.

Bella was losing a pound a day. She was barely able to walk on her own accord, now having lost seventeen of her original one hundred ten pounds. Her hair began to thin, eyes sunk, and her skin was thin and pale. She was starving to death but that thing was growing bigger, taking all the nourishment.

We suspended alone time, she was too weak and needed constant help. Time marched forward.

The next call to Charlie didn't go as well. Her voice and speech reflected the degeneration her body was going through. He insisted on seeing Bella and only after Carlisle talked to him did he change his mind. Bella was weaker, worse and Charlie could tell.

I'd devised a plan to end the killer fetus' slow death of my Bella but it meant contacting Bella's best friend, who would want to kill me for what I'd done. He was the only person who would feel the same disgust for _that_ thing. Together we would stop that beast from its destructive path. I had to find Jacob.


	9. Chapter 9 Battle Ready

All things Twilight are the creative work of Stephenie Meyer and I just like to mess around with her characters and the plot.

------

I was powerless to stop the slow destruction of my wife. A powerless vampire, it was uncanny. I was the weaker in this pairing. I was the ultimate predator and my prey was winning. It would have been phenomenal had it not been so tragic.

The bigger the demon-leech got, the closer Bella was to death. What little nutrition she received was taken by that thing. My wife was starving to death.

If I had never made love to her, succumb to my selfish desires, she would not be facing death. I took her choice away from her. Alice's vision of nearly a year ago – either I would kill her or she would be a vampire – had depended upon my control. Now it was time for my control to be tested. The decision lay before me once again, and I could not avoid the realization any longer – I would decide.

It would not be death.

Her soul, her goodness would not end by her becoming a vampire.

The fates had been cruel from the moment I'd inhaled the warm, entrancing aroma of her blood. It had always been me that would cause her to face her human death—not James, vans driven on slick icy roads, newborns or even the Volturi. Her destruction by the evil fate was set in place long ago and I would have to carry out the sentence on my wife.

Too good to die.

Too heroic to let another die.

I never understood her and that's why she faced death. I was beyond selfish, overconfident that I would protect her from her terrible luck – now it all seems so clear. She never needed protection from anything or anyone other than me. I could do one last thing to get that thing out of her.

I stayed in constant vigil at her side, always considering how to best discuss a discrete arrangement. Unfortunately, Rosalie was there as well. Had she not been, I would have ended this or at the very least had a moment to convince my wife - that's all I needed.

I begged Carlisle to assist. If he would get Rosalie away, we could have ended it. Carlisle was sympathetic but torn. He would do anything I'd ask but Esme would not allow harm to either Rosalie or Bella. No matter how much he loved me, he would never do anything to make Esme unhappy.

Now that vampire fetus had grown so large and strong that whenever it kicked it caused contusions. Her stomach was covered with bruises. The bruises I inflicted on the outside of her were barely healed, before that demon seed I'd placed inside began a new batch of bruising only this time from the inside. Like father – like monster offspring.

What little human strength my wife had, had dwindled. She could barely lift her head to do simple tasks, such as eat, which she'd immediately throw up. Every hour she was closer to death and no one would allow me to stop it.

I'd promised Kaure that Bella's pain would be mine too. I refused to hunt, my throat ached with the burning pain. My eyes were glossy jet black, a reflection of my thoughts. I was well aware that it would be impossible for me to starve myself, Carlisle had made it clear, the only way to end the existence of a vampire is to tear him apart and burn the pieces. I would happily bargain my life away in exchange for Jacob's help, for any help.

Bella would not voluntarily surrender. She had to be convinced, possibly manipulated to feeling guilty or benevolent. Those character traits could be my corroborators. I stared at her remembering all the trials we'd been through and this one was the worst. This one would end it all and there'd be nothing left but memories not held by either of us. It was all happening too fast.

My family's surveillance was constant, always ready with a helping hand or encouraging word for her, nothing for me but sad, pitiful thoughts. Bella fell in and out of sleep, a twilight sleep, awakened often by the punching and thrashing of the bloodsucking monster. The room was often quiet except for the sound of Bella's heartbeat and the groans from the movements of that beast. Each punch struck me, causing me the same anguish that my wife was too brave to release.

"Please, Bella." I pleaded.

"I won't, you know, I won't." Her voice was soft. The contents of her lunch came up and Rosalie was there with a small basin.

"Edward, you're causing her too much stress." Rosalie grunted. _You need to accept this, for her sake, for your child's sake._

"Don't argue." Bella defended the both of us.

"You're dying – leaving me, dear." I continued my appeal to my cherished wife, unable and unwilling to hide my anguish.

"But the baby is thriving and that's what matters." Her eyes were sunken and the bony shape of her skull was visible in her cheeks. She was so very thin, emaciated. The pain and torment she endured was painted on my face.

I was on the floor in front of the couch with my head slightly suspended over Bella, barely above her legs. It was too much to consider placing even the weight of my hand on her already over-burden body, let alone my heavy head. Her hand rested on my face and even the stress from our recent conversation had overtaxed her.

I was ready to run and find Jacob, potentially my only ally, when I heard his motorcycle turn off the highway. His thoughts were loud as usual. He was focused on murder. He wanted to kill me and the rest of my family. But he was alone and it wasn't until he thought about the decision of Sam, the alpha of the pack, that I understood why he was alone.

_The pack is not attacking the Cullens without provocation. The spirit of the treaty remains. They are not a danger to our people nor are they a danger to the people of Forks. Bella Swan made an informed choice and we are not going to punish our former allies for her choice._

It was evident that the pack believed Bella was bitten, she was transforming, becoming a vampire. I found no solace in the decision by the Quileute leader, because soon enough they would discover _that_ hideous beast devouring my wife. A new decision would be made, but for now Jacob obeyed the edict, technically the pack was not attacking, but he was coming to do violence on his own.

I saw his actions. Jacob had transformed into human form in order to avoid sharing his thoughts with the pack. He considered himself fortunate that he arrived undetected by the pack and it was too late to stop him from his murderous plot, he had crossed the outside of Quileute territory.

"Jacob will be here soon." I looked into Bella's usually elegant brown eyes and saw dullness. No one moved. "Carlisle would you be so kind as to handle it? He wants to check on Bella. I don't want to leave her side."

"Yes, Edward." He responded and went to the door. Jacob's thoughts were louder, burning with rage _I will confirm that he had killed her, bitten her. Then I will kill him, maybe challenge him to a duel. Arrogantly, he'd accept and I'd kill that bloodsucker for murdering her._

"No, I want to see him." Bella demanded.

"You are under too much strain; it won't be good for the baby." Rosalie soothed.

"Edward, Please." She was too weak to argue with Rosalie, knowing I would allow her any request that would make her happy.

Of course, Bella seeing Jacob would make her happy. She loved him. I accepted that fact and counted on it as well. But he was full of rage and anger; it made him unstable, volatile and bad company.

"Jacob wants to see if you've been bitten. Carlisle can tell him that and he can visit another time." I told her.

"It could be a rouse. He is scouting out for the enemy." Rosalie added.

"No, the pack will not attack." I countered. "Jacob is here to confirm that Bella is still human." It wasn't necessary to share his additional angry murderous desires.

"Now is not the time to share your pregnancy." Rosalie continued to argue. _That dog is unpredictable, we can't have him around the baby!_

"She's right Bella. Now is not a good time for a visit, it will cause too many questions." Emmett agreed.

Rosalie went over to Carlisle and whispered for him to get rid of Jacob.

"Bella, he can come back later." I agreed.

Carlisle calmly opened the door, no knock was necessary, we all could hear his loud stroll. "Hello, Jacob. How are you?"

_That smell is disgusting! I'll have to hold my breath. I was hoping it was Edward, ready to fight. He sent Carlisle, who is so . . . just so human or something. Carlisle doesn't act like the bloodsucker. I don't like this, planning to kill Carlisle and him standing here making small talk. _

"I heard Bella made it back alive." Jacob said.

"Yes, but she is resting. Perhaps you can visit later?" Carlisle spoke evenly.

_Postpone death – no, the time is now. It may be my only opportunity – you hear me you bloodsucking killer?_

Rosalie returned to Bella's side propping her up on the couch. "I don't think the hound needs to know about the baby."

"It's best if he doesn't stay." I added.

Bella understanding the dismissal of her friend quickly countermanded, loud enough for Jacob to hear. "Why not? Are we keeping secrets from Jacob too? What's the point?"

Rosalie didn't respond, and I was silent as well. It was hopeless to argue and it just put off the confrontation that Jacob would have with me once he saw her condition—it was inevitable.

"Come in Jacob." Bella summoned. Jacob surveyed the room as he entered, and planned his assault. He counted the seven vampires and considered how many of them he could massacre after he assassinated me.

Then he saw me and reconsidered his plan. I was half-crazed, I knew that. The monster inside of me was in total control, fighting hard to remove Rosalie and destroy that half-breed. Yes, Jacob saw me as pitiful and broken, but I wasn't, but there was no need to dispel his thoughts. I could have easily told him that what he was seeing was my unadulterated desperation to go to war. But why would I? Yes, the monster was in charge of the battle, my own ability was too weak.

Jacob then looked at Bella. He felt instant relief that she wasn't a vampire, but it was momentary. _Bella she's still-- alive. Soft, peach colored and beautiful, yes she is human. _ Then he looked closer and was alarmed._ Sheesh, her eyes!_ Jacob saw the dark black circles, the thinning whispery hair, and her ghostly pale skin. _She's not dead but it looks like she'll die within hours. He did this!_ I read his gaze at me.

"What's wrong, Bella? Are you all right?" Jacob fell to his knees across from me leaning over the back of the couch, where Bella was propped up. Rosalie bared her teeth at Jacob, _back away you stinking animal._

"It's okay, Rose. Help me up." Bella sighed, her voice was hoarse, as she began to rise out of her curled up position.

"No, don't move." Jacob urged. For the first time, Jacob considered Rosalie. _What is with this crazy blond? Bella is afraid of her and she is playing nurse maid? What is going on here?_

"I'm trying to answer your question." Bella responded as if she heard his unspoken words. Her feet slowly touched the ground as Rosalie held her from beneath her arms and lifted. The blanket that had covered her feet fell to the ground and her knees seemed as though they would not hold up her weight. She wore my too-large sweater snuggly over her maternity clothes -- she'd said she enjoyed the feeling of me wrapped around her and the baby. Clearly that was the only way I would caress that abomination.

The monster in me gloated that it would soon kill. I leaned further into the cushions, hiding the horror of her condition from my eyes. It was a short reprieve – Jacobs observations immediately erupted into my head. Her limbs were bone thin, barely able to hold her weight. Her face was wasted, ashen and the malnourishment was evident. Her stomach protruded from her body, much larger too large for starvation. There was no mistaking that she was pregnant—at least seven or eight months.

Jacob swallowed back bile as his stomach heaved. _ Pregnant? She couldn't be _that_ pregnant, it's only been a month since I saw her last. Not him with her! _Jacob's ranting continued to assault my mind, but the monster relished the words. _The parasite got some and left his obscene spawn. It's killing her. I always knew he would kill her._ The monster in me was glad to have Jacob's thoughts because it was a welcome reprieve from the fairy tale happy ending that my family portrayed.

I turned to look at Jacob, his body began to heat up, his murderous anger rising, soon he'd be unable to stop himself from phasing, something that could not happen in this room.

"Outside now!" I commanded him as I stood up. Emmett and Jasper both stepped forward, ready to defend. I quickly turned heading to the door and Bella reached her warm arm and touched me.

"No, Edward." Adrenaline was shooting through her system, which would excite that beast she was carrying. With the rush of adrenaline it would break bones.

I corralled the monster, "Don't worry, sweetheart, we are just going to talk. We both will be back, don't strain yourself." I looked into her eyes so she could see the truth and calmness that I willed. I was grateful that the monster was as good a liar as me.

She relaxed back onto the couch, Rosalie supporting her every move, and shifted her near weightless body toward Jacob. "Behave and then come back." She pleaded.

Jacob turned on his heels, '_Let's do this' _he thought and walked behind me towards the door. _Do you want us to come out too?_ Emmett thought. I quickly shook my head and both him and Jasper stayed put.

I kept walking out of the door, not stopping to turn around to make sure Jacob followed. I knew he would.

I lamented that I hadn't left her to him, her life would be filled with happy pregnancies and babies. She could still have that life, that potential. My human father brokered such contracts -- arrangements, protecting the privacy of all concerned, but especially the impotent male. Now, we could use in vitro fertilization, donated. It wouldn't matter. If Bella wanted a child, I could make that same arrangement – I would make that contract.

Jacob's furor was managed enough to prevent him from phasing, his mind focused on his good fortune at having me alone and he debated on the method of my execution. He was unaware that he'd soon be a collaborator with the monster.

"I'm not ready for you to kill me yet, Jacob Black." I was soon at the designated place, the same spot we had stood weeks earlier on my wedding day, the position of the mediation. Soon the monster would control, but for now I had to keep Jacob from attacking, "You will have to have a little patience."

"Patience isn't my specialty." His words were full of promise, just as the monster had hoped. Yes, said the monster an alliance – me, you and Jacob.

I walked further into the wooded area, far enough so that only carefully tuned inhuman ears would overhear what was said. I turned and faced Jacob, hoping my sudden move would not begin a different battle than the one planned. He froze, unsure of himself because of the dispirited composure he saw. The monster laughed, it was in control now.

It was time to establish the contract to save my wife. The monster pushed my hand across my head, attempting to remove Bella's suffering from my mind. Before I could utter a coherent word, the monster buckled my knees and my body lowered, tortured by the stress.

Once again I saw my wretched self through Jacob's eyes. _This leech – I've seen him arrogant, angry even sad but never broken._ Jacob idiotically had sympathy for the misery he saw outwardly, oblivious to the monster's rule. "It's killing her, right? She's dying"

I could only nod, the monster would not allow my speech, but even had it, the words were too painful to speak. "My fault." I strained through my teeth. The monster forced my knees completely to the ground, total submission. I was easy pickings for a death blow. Had the monster counted on pity to prevent Jacob's the kill?

The monster set its plan in motion. "Yes. Yes, it's killing her. We didn't know pregnancy was possible. There has never been anything like me and Bella."

_You should have left her with me._ Jacob's resentment was evident in his loud thoughts.

"Yes, I should have." I answered his unspoken words even this wolf-child knew she would have been better off. She would not have agreed had it been offered. Against her best interest, she married me.

"So why hasn't Carlisle done anything? He's a doctor, right. Get it out of her."

"She won't let us." I gritted the words that made mine and my monster's failure known.

_That's Bella – die for his demonic baby parasite, a martyr for his toxic love._

"You know her well. How quickly you see . . . I didn't see. Not in time. She wouldn't talk to me on the way home, not really. I thought she was frightened—that would be natural. I thought she was angry with me for putting her through this, for endangering her life. Again. I never imagined what she was really thinking, what she was resolving. Not until my family met us at the airport and she ran right into Rosalie's arms. Rosalie's! And then I heard what Rosalie was thinking. I didn't understand until I heard that. Yet you understand after one second." The mistakes glared at me like the single blinking red light on a dark and deserted road, visible from miles around.

"Just back up a second. She won't _let_ you? Did you ever notice that she's exactly as strong as a normal hundred-and-ten pound human girl? How stupid are you vamps? Hold her down and knock her out with drugs."

"I wanted to . . . Carlisle would have . . ." I paused, considered my other blunders that allowed her to take control of their emotions.

_What too noble were they?_

The monster's ultimate failure gnarled my words, "No. Not noble. Her bodyguard complicated things." Another oversight, it underestimated Rosalie's tenacity to be a mother, even vicariously.

_What's it to her. What does she want? Does she want Bella to die so bad?_

"Maybe," She may like that as a happy side effect, so would the monster. "Rosalie doesn't look at it quite that way."

"So take the blonde out first. Your kind can put her back together." The wolf-child was reasoning with the monster. He didn't know. The monster was incapable of such a rational self-reflection that uncovered its failures.

"Emmett and Esme are backing her up. Emmett would never let us . . and Carlisle won't help me with Esme against it . . Bella eventually shamed the rest to neutrality. Now ending the pregnancy is impossible, unless she agrees. She will die."

My life would end, the moment hers did. Oh, the monster saw victory close at hand. I had already lost everything I loved and now the monster would ask my would-be assassin to help save not only her life, but mine as well. Only the monster would survive and it saw everything. Everything. I was so very arrogant believing the love between Bella and Jacob was so inconsequential when it can mean everything – now.

"We didn't know. . . I never dreamed. There's never been anything like Bella and I before. How could we know that a human was able to conceive a child with one of us –" I looked up at him, "Even you, Jacob Black, cannot hate me as much as I hate myself."

Wrong he thought, and he abandoned his examination of my failures, he saw the hopelessness of the situation._ I should kill you now!_

"My death would hasten hers – nothing either of us are prepared to do. Killing me now doesn't save her."

"What does?"

"Jacob, you have to do something for me?"

There was utter disgust in his thoughts at any goodwill towards me. "The hell I do, parasite!" The monster would not be deterred it would have victory by any means necessary.

"For her?"

"What can I do that you haven't already tried?" _I tried to stop her from loving you – It's too late._

"You know her, Jacob. You connect to her on a different level – I don't even understand. You are part of one another. She won't listen to me, because she thinks I'm underestimating her. She thinks she's strong enough for this . . ." The monster encourage me to set forth the terms. "She might listen to you."

"Why would she?"

He didn't refuse. There was a glimmer of hope, something unseen in days. Yes, victory was within hand, it might work. The monster clung to it, like it was the only air available in the vacuum of space.

_Are you crazy? Can vampires lose their minds?_

"Maybe." My body rose to face Jacob like a man, to plead for my wife's life. "I don't know. It feels like it. I have to try to hide this in front of her, because stress makes her more ill. She can't keep anything down as it is. I have to be composed; I can't make it harder. But that doesn't matter now. She has to listen to you!"

"I can't tell her anything you haven't. What do you want me to do? Tell her she's stupid? She probably already knows that. Tell her she's going to die? I bet she knows that too."

"You can offer her what she wants. I don't care about anything but keeping her alive." The monster forced the words out of my mouth with great elation. "You can offer her the life I could not, children or even provide her a – discreet opportunity to bear healthy children. If it's a child she wants, she can have it. She can have half a dozen babies. Anything she wants, even puppies." Jacob was beginning to understand, processing the request. The monster reveled at the shock on Jacob's face. It was easier to allow the monster control.

"But not this way! Not this thing sucking the life from her while I stand there helpless! Watching her sicken and waste away. Seeing it hurting her. You have to make her see reason, Jacob. She won't listen to me anymore. Rosalie's always there, feeding her insanity—encouraging her. Protecting her. No, protecting it. Bella's life means nothing to her."

Jacob's words were caught in his throat, only grunts coming forth. _That future life – Bella, me, kids enjoying the Beach fire - her happy that's what I wanted. That future life will never exist. Was he saying that? Was he giving her up? Or did he think she wouldn't mind sharing? _

"Whichever. Whatever keeps her alive." The monster saw an agreement on the horizon.

"That's the craziest thing you've said yet.

"She loves you."

"Not enough."

"She's ready to die to have a child. Maybe she'd accept something less extreme."

"Don't you know her at all?"

"I know, I know. It's going to take a lot of convincing. That's why I need you. You know how she thinks. You can make her see sense."

The monster watched Jacob's fantasy. Jacob imagined Bella pregnant with his child, Bella making love to him and then returning to me. _This isn't a future I would've imagined, it's not mine._ _I tried to keep her away from you and she decided to love you anyway. _"Make Bella see sense? What universe do you live in?"

"At least try."

"Where is this psycho crap coming from? Are you making this up as you go?"

"I've been thinking of nothing but ways to save her since I realized what she was planning to do. What she would die to do. But I didn't know how to contact you. I knew you wouldn't listen if I called. I would have come to find you soon, if you hadn't come today. But it's hard to leave her, even for a few minutes. Her condition … it changes so fast. The thing is … growing. Swiftly. I can't be away from her now."

"What is it?"

"None of us have any idea. But it is stronger than she is. Already. Help me stop it. Help me stop this from happening."

"How? By offering my stud services? You're really sick. She'll never listen to this."

"Try. There's nothing to lose now. How will it hurt?" The monster was relentless unashamed, it wanted that half-leech dead.

_It would hurt me. Hadn't I taken more than enough rejection from Bella without this?_

"A little pain to save her life? Is it such a high cost?"

"But it won't work."

"Maybe not, Maybe it will confuse her, though. Maybe she'll falter in her resolve. One moment of doubt is all I need."

"And then you will revoke your offer, right? 'Just kidding Bella, Jake.'"

"If she wants a child, I won't rescind." My words were forced through my teeth with such force, venom fell to the ground. A growl of satisfaction was growing in the monster.

_Stop messing with my head leach. I should just kill you now._

"Not now. Not yet. Right or wrong, it would destroy her and you know it. If she won't listen to you, you'll get your chance. The moment Bella's heart stops beating, I will be begging for you to kill me." I pledged and the monster lied.

"You won't have to beg long."

"I'm counting on it. Then it's a deal?"

He held out my hand so we could shake. The monster rejoiced. "We have a deal."

We walked back to the house. Jacob convincing himself to back out of the deal, but he continued to follow me all the way to Bella's side. My family, surrounding Bella, was beyond suspicious.

"We're going to let Jacob and Bella speak privately."

"Over my pile of ashes." Rosalie growled at me. But the monster relished her anger, it could be silenced so quickly.

I turned to my wife. "Bella, Jacob wants to talk to you. Are you afraid to be alone with him?" She looked around the room.

"Rose, its fine. Jake's not going to hurt us. Go with Edward."

"It might be a trick." Rosalie warned.

"I don't see how"

My monster lied casually, "Carlisle and I will be in your sight Rosalie. We're the ones she's afraid of."

"No" her eyes sadden with worry over me.

"I didn't mean it like that Bella. I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

Bella agreed to talk to Jacob alone. Rosalie wouldn't leave until after I left the house first. We walked to the same place I had been with Jacob.

Outside, Rosalie, glowered at me. "Whatever you're up to, it will not work." _Idiot. Moron._ Her tone was arrogant, threatening.

I took a step toward her, the monster ready for a kill. Emmett blocked. I spoke to her through Emmett. "You will not have her life. It is not yours to take."

"Edward, don't you see, she gives it freely for your child? You should stop this depraved psychotic vigil and allow her the joy – it's a new life, a life worthwhile."

"You don't know that."

"You don't know it's not." She bravely stepped around Emmett, "Your wife is doing the right thing – if it was the other way around, I'd do the same thing."

"This is not _your_ life, stay out of hers!"

"She's made her choice."

"It's not because of Emmett that I don't . . ." I was forced to stop, the monster would not allow me to reveal its plans. "Her wishes won't bind me much longer." I threatened.

_Idiot._ "You have everything and you behave like a spoiled child." _Grow up!_

It was the kettle and pot. But her words did not alter my desire to stop that thing from killing my wife. I turned my attention to the open space, it was too crowded – it was all in Jacob's hands now. I took off running, clearing my mind of the thoughts of vampires, clearing away the monster.

Even now, on the verge of her death, Bella's thoughts eluded me. I read Jacob's mind.

_You're dying for nothing Bella! Nothing! _

_You're not strong enough to keep your heart beating. That's a load of crap, Bella. No normal person can do it._

I didn't go far, nor was I gone long. I had to stay in sight of Rosalie, for now.

_Listen to me Bells. Don't do it that way. Don't wait until it's too late, Bella. Not that way. Live. Okay? Just live. Don't do this to me. Don't do it to him. You know what he's going to do when you die. You've seen it before. You want him to go back to those Italian killers?_

The run cleared my head of the monster's twisted logic, just enough to hear that Jacob was unsuccessful. The monster's plan had failed once again. _It makes no difference, though, does it?_

Through Jacob's eyes, I saw her shake her head. Although I couldn't hear her words, it was obvious "I love him," as she pointed to her stomach.

I finished my last lap, running toward the front door, just as Jacob phased into wolf form flying from the porch. I would go in and stay with my wife, knowing that this would be our last hours together.

I could hear the pack, relieved that Jacob was still alive, unsure whether his killing spree was successful. Then silence as they saw Bella through Jacob's memory, her mottled body, rent with malnutrition – pregnant. He showed them my cold soulless stone face, a waste of desperation. Rosalie crouched over Bella's limp body, protecting the thing growing.

There was a unified shock that rumbled through the pack. Wordless, shock.

_!!!!_

----

E/N – I'm not sure this is as good as it should be, it seems choppy but I didn't want to keep you waiting, so I'm posting it. Comment, please. Tell me what you think will make it better. Edward's headed into some serious stuff and I need some encouragement. Thanks.


	10. Chapter 10 The Battle

A/N As you know, Stephenie Meyer's creative work has come outside to play with me.

I finished my last lap, running toward the front door, just as Jacob phased into wolf form flying from the porch. He would not be back to watch. The monster had failed again and with each step I pushed it further away from our goal. We'd wait for another opportunity. I would go into the house, kneel beside my wife, and for every second I'd stay with her until she was no more.

"I love her too!"Alice was staring at me, yelling. Then I heard her first coherent thoughts to me in days. _I am not happy with that stupid agreement you tried to make with Jacob. Bella deserves better than to be treated like a common human love affair. I wouldn't blame her one bit if she throws you out of here on your sorry butt. This is not some turn of the century marriage of convenience – this is the only one that she will ever want; the only one for you and you treat it like it was ordinary. Ordinary! Look at her, Edward. Look. She fights, for the baby – but mostly for you._

Rosalie and the others slipped inside and were soothing and caring for Bella. My foot stepped into the doorway, hand on the knob. I turned my head slightly to Alice, to let her know I was listening. We'd always talked like this, not for privacy but because our talent was less obvious when we did. Among humans and vampires we were freaks. We stuck together.

Her screaming stopped, replaced by her patience wrapped in love. _You know, I have headaches trying to see what is going to happen. The future is all muddled and it's not just because of Bella's condition – it's your fault. You need to decide Edward. The future is waiting for your decision. Allow her to stay with us – change her!_

I barely moved my head to the other side. It was the one thing that I could not agree to, damning her soul. I would not do it. I pushed the monster further away; it would find no victory through me.

_If you don't want to make a decision now, at least prepare for the alternatives. After this last stunt with Jacob – you owe it to her to prepare for her transformation. Not only that Edward, who do you think will be by her side once the baby is born? You think Rosalie will be as attentive when there's a baby that needs care? Carlisle will try but, there's already been so much damage. She's counting on you, Edward – not Rosalie. Not Carlisle. You!_

I lowered my head to the ground, processing what Alice said. In a few hours – maybe minutes, Bella would die unless a miracle happened. I could not make the decision willingly, but if forced – I would. I wasn't anymore sure what would happen than Alice, but I could, at least, be prepared. There was nothing else to do. The worse outcome was inevitable - the best was no longer hopeful. I stepped inside.

_Don't let her down!_ Alice skipped by me, quickly running her hand along my shoulder – comfort. _Don't let me down! _She danced up the stairs. I didn't stop her, all that needed to be said was completed. It was my turn to act – figure a way for my wife to stay with me; and I could no longer ignore the plan Bella crafted on the day we returned from our honeymoon.

The obvious path, I'd avoided since the day I realized that I loved her more than I wanted to drink her blood. I had to admit that her blush, the blood flowing through her veins, her scent; the fragile nature of her life all attracted me. I always thought it was about me being the perfect predator. For so long, I'd carried the burden of the monster but it was so clear now - she was the perfect lure.

Everything about her entrapped my heart, sang to my soul and called the monster. She was perfect, even now on the verge of death, there were no flaws. And in her perfection, I've become more human than vampire and ensnared the monster to submission.

I've fought for her immortal soul, her irreplaceable goodness on her behalf and now faced the final battle. Could her good continue? Or would we both become monsters, always on the fringe of destruction – what would lure us to submission?

I walked towards the middle of the room, where Bella lay sleeping on the white couch, suddenly anxious to talk with her, beg her for forgiveness. Carlisle stopped me. "Son, I know this may not be the best time, but you're with her constantly."

He touched my shoulder, I did not allow the comfort – my wife was dying. My fault. Her soul would be lost. I provided my excuse. "Her condition changes so often, it's hard to be away from her, even now."

"Certainly, it's understandable. We have to provide nutrition to her and I need to monitor her more closely. I've asked Emmett to bring in the hospital bed, she will be more comfortable."

Rosalie looked in our direction, listening. _We won't let you harm her or the baby. We won't. I will defend her._ I recognized the monster that spoke to me and I growled.

Carlisle turned and looked directly at Rosalie, as if he had heard her thoughts, "Now is not the time to provide passive care, Bella needs our help, you must not interfere." There would be no further objection from Rosalie, she would obey Carlisle's decision. He turned back to me, compassion in his voice. The same sympathetic tone he'd given to family members of his dying patients. "Even now, her heart beats are erratic, her breathing labored – only nutrition will keep her heart beating. If this works, we can then consider delivery."

I froze. Deliver that beast out of my wife – this is what would keep her alive. But for all that is holy – what would that thing be? I shivered at the thought of it – A thirsty monster that would want to kill the only human within miles, after it clawed its way to freedom. "It will have to be a c-section." I said.

"Yes, there is no other way. I will start an IV with nutritional supplements and attach the monitors. I'll need more medical supplies so Esme and I will pick them up from the hospital."

"Thank you Carlisle." I couldn't say anything else, it was doubtful that Carlisle's efforts would work, but we had to try. They wouldn't allow me take the monster and stop the madness, even though her heart was failing. It had to stop before the leech would be extracted, he followed her plan, even though I hadn't agreed.

Bella was motionless but awake. The stillness helped to relieve her pain, her eyes were on me there was a faint glimmer of moister around her eyelashes. Panic hit me like a brick wall, Carlisle had been gentle in his description of her condition. I garnered my will, I had to keep her relaxed. I read her expression and at first I thought I saw the pain that she kept hidden, it wasn't pain but hurt, possibly disappointment.

"How much trouble am I in?" My hands lightly touched her face.

"Heaps." Her voice was cracked, barely a dry whisper.

"I had to try . . . please Bella."

"You really would do anything, wouldn't you?"

"Anything." I promised, hoping that her resolve would lessen. "Whatever you want, even him."

"I really don't know why. I don't deserve either of you."

"Please, you can have children, as many as you want – it doesn't have to be so extreme."

"I didn't know I wanted a child anymore than I knew that I wanted to be married. I had to experience it, be in it, to know that I love our marriage. I didn't know I wanted a child. All I know is that I want this one. I can't hurt him." She said touching her bruised belly.

We began a silent dance in one another's eyes as I lifted her from the couch onto the hospital bed. I remembered the first terrifying visions of Bella that Alice had shown me, Bella's body hanging loosely dead as I carried her – it was not much different than how we looked now. Bella lost consciousness her heart was beating too fast and her breathing was shallow. There was no color on her face and her lips were pallor and cracked from dehydration.

"She needs fluids; she's dying of dehydration and starvation. I'll prepare the fluids." Carlisle didn't wait, the solution and supplies remained sealed, no one would question whether there'd been any tampering.

Bella regained consciousness. "Bella, Carlisle is going to give you liquids and nutrition. I know you hate needles, but this is the only way to keep you alive." I whispered calmly, her eyes understanding the urgency. "It is not a question of the . . . fetus at this point, it's only you."

I then spoke to make sure my words were understood by all in the room, especially her body guards. "Rosalie needs to understand that this is not your decision - but mine, as your husband. You must accept the care that Carlisle is providing – it will only make you stronger, it will keep you alive." Bella gently nodded her head and fell asleep.

In less than thirty seconds, Bella had an IV drip going into her dehydrated body. The monitors for heart and stomach were attached and an oxygen tube placed around her head. There was no immediate improvement to the treatment, but her condition did not deteriorate.

I began to count her heartbeats, each one a delicious treasure. Carlisle, certain that her condition was stable, left for more supplies.

Rosalie, ever present – stood guard, and reviewed everything going into and attached to Bella. She leaned forward to smell the IV. _No morphine or sedatives. _Then two things happened simultaneously, Bella had a nightmare and Alice had a vision.

Bella's eyes burst opened. Jasper's head snapped up in the direction of Alice's bedroom. I leaned in closer to Bella – she looked at me and tears welled in her eyes.

Jasper sprinted to the stairs his talent alerting him. We'd seen this before, Alice was having a vision. Bella's breathing was labored and she barely whispered, "nightmare."

"I'm here sweetheart. It was just a dream, nothing to trouble yourself about." I wanted to promise her that she was safe, but the words would not come through – not that she could hear them anyway.

"Let me keep you safe in your dreams." I began to hum softly to her. Her body perfectly still, too weak to move – better not to move.

I searched Alice's thoughts. What I found was darkness. No light. No sound. No objects.

My humming, did not drown out the image of blackness, flashing through Alice's mind. It was both a still picture and moving but there was no difference between the two. Alice searched through the darkness over and over – finding nothing. It wasn't like an unclear blur of the future where precise features were awaiting decisions for clarity. The black did not blur. The vision ended.

"Alice what is it?" Jasper asked. Her face was stone white, frozen in fear. She knew what it meant, so did I. _Death._

She continued to try and find other ways to change the blackness. Each time the dark covered everything. The despair and terror – were simultaneously shared with Jasper. She said what, I had already understood, "All of our futures have ended."

She flew past Jasper, grabbing his hand as she came down the winding stairs to be with the rest of our family.

"How soon?" I asked Alice, my body, rising, preparing for battle.

"Within the hour." _Should we tell her?_

Bella's eyes were open. "What did she see?" She was as observant as ever.

"It's not about your condition. We don't know exactly what Alice saw or what it means. We think there's danger." I held her hand.

"Tell me." She whispered.

"Yes, I'll tell you, we're not sure . . ." I paused, startled that Jacob Black was screaming my name. I turned my head to the door, "What now?" I said it so softly Bella did not hear. "I hear Jacob's voice, he wants to - talk to me, it might be related to Alice's vision. I'll be back as soon as I can." It was urgent. My mind went into battle mode, I had to protect those I loved. I gave orders too quickly for Bella to understand.

"Rosalie, stay with Bella, keep her calm. Alice secure the house. Jasper, Emmett with me." I leaned over and kissed Bella on the forehead "rest, I'll talk to Jacob - even apologize." Attempting to dazzle her, I gave her a smile showing my glistening teeth.

"Thank you." Her thin fingers caressing her stomach, "Your father is dazzling." Her lips barely moved as she fell asleep.

I walked across the large room and through the glass front door, flanked by Emmett and Jasper. The three story metal barricades unfolded and were locked in place over the glass back wall of the white house before we were out of the door. Alice swiftly activated the security cameras and motion sensors on the grounds.

We waited on the porch and I listened as Jacob then Seth began their frantic warnings.

_Circle the wagons, bloodsucker. You've got a problem._

_We've got a problem._ Seth corrected as they cleared the forest, into the meadow of our backyard, both in wolf form. They stopped twenty feet back.

"Jacob? Seth? What's going on?"

To answer my question, Jacob let his mind run over the confrontation with Sam – Seth filling in the gaps, showing scenes from other angles.

_I don't think I can fight them either. But they won't be any happier with the idea of attacking us than we are with attacking them. That might be enough to stop them right there. Plus, there're only eight of them now._ It was Seth, analysis of an attack. But who would attack them – us the Cullens?

_If there aren't two packs, then why can we hear each other and not the rest? I think that when you turned your back on Sam that was a pretty significant move. A change. And when I followed you away, I think that was significant too._ Seth reasoned.

_You've got a point._ Jacob conceded.

The scene changed to an area outside of La Push. Sam the alpha spoke, _Do you belong to a coven now, Jacob?_

Jacob's reply made Sam cringe backward, feeling the extent of Jacob's stronger Alpha tone, Jacob acknowledged to himself that he had been born to lead Sam and the pack; an inheritance he did not desire.

_I _will_ stand between you and the Cullens. I won't just watch while the pack kills innocent – people. The pack is better than that. Lead them in the right direction Sam._

Jacob stood tall, facing Sam – muzzle to muzzle. _There cannot be more than one Alpha. The pack has chosen me. Will you rip us apart tonight? Will you turn on your brothers? Or will you end this insanity and join us again._ It was Sam's voice pleading to Jacob.

_Ephraim Black's son was not born to follow Levi Uley's. The double echo of Sam's Alpha command was weightless, it no longer applied to Jacob._

Jacob showed the scene of him rising from the forced kneeled position demanded of him by Sam's Alpha command

_We need the whole pack for this. Jacob, you are our strongest fighter. You _will_ fight with us tonight. I understand that this is hard for you, so you will concentrate on their fighters, Emmett and Jasper. Quil and Embry will fight with you. You don't have to be involved with the other part. . . Whoever has a clear line on the creature will take it. Destroying the creature is our first priority._

The scene moved to an earlier time, Jacob was standing in wolf form, the pack gathered in a small clearing. _How are you going to kill the creature without killing Bella? _

_She's dying anyway._

Jacob running slowed as he came into the clearing and he trotted toward Sam. _Now you're planning an ambush when the treaty is still intact? _

_This is not something our treaty anticipated, _Sam said. _ This is a danger to every human in the area. We don't know what kind of creature the Cullens have bred, but we know that it is strong and fast-growing. And it will be too young to follow any treaty. Remember the newborn vampires we fought? Wild, violent, beyond the reach of reason or restraint. Imagine one like that, but protected by the Cullens._

Jacob was running through the forest now, heading to the gathering place. He was listening to the thoughts of the rest of the pack.

_We have to kill it._

_Not safe. Not right. Dangerous. We cannot allow it._

_Unnatural. Monstrous. An abomination._

I had seen enough, a leapt from the porch, "They want to kill Bella?" I asked Jacob. Emmett and Jasper followed me and crouched to attack Jacob and Seth, they had not seen. Seth began to back away. _Whoa, call 'em off._

"Em, jazz – not them! The others. The pack is coming." Both settled back into an upright stance, neither taking their eyes off of the wolves.

"What's their problem?" Emmett asked.

"The same one as mine, but they have their own plan to handle it." I began giving orders again. "Get the others. Call Carlisle! He and Esme have to get back here now."

Seth volunteered to run the perimeter of our land for signs of an attack.

"Will you be in danger, Seth?" I asked.

_Don't think so_. Jacob and Seth answered together. Then Seth disappeared into the woods on patrol. Jasper stared at the direction Seth vanished. _Brave wolf-child._

I nodded at Jasper's thoughts. Emmett was on the phone with Carlisle. "We need you and Esme here."

"What's wrong? Is Bella alright?" Carlisle's medical training started to kick in.

"No, it's not Bella. The werewolves want to kill her, destroy the baby. Alice says they will attack in forty-five minutes."

"We will be there in twenty."

Alice came outside into the darkness, s_he's the same, Edward, still bad._ She gazed at Jacob. _I can't see him, those half human half werewolves so elusive – that's why I couldn't see the danger only the result . . . _ She flitted to Jasper's side – waiting.

"This isn't the first time I've owed you my gratitude, Jacob," I would never be able to pay the debt owed for his sacrifice – loss of home, family, pack, even love. "I would never have asked this from you."

We stood facing each other in the darkness of our yard. A slight grin crossed his face, then mine. _Yeah, you would._

Considering what I had asked of him already, knowing there is nothing I wouldn't do for Bella. "I suppose you're right about that."

_Sorry I didn't do any good today. Told you she wouldn't listen to me._

"I know. I never really believed she would. But . . ."

_You had to try. I get it. She any better?_

"Worse." I didn't get a chance to finish my statement before he attempted to finish it for me, I had hoped she loved him enough to live – separate from me and stay human. I considered that that thing growing in her was her greatest danger . . .

"Jacob, would you mind switching forms?" Alice trilled impatiently unused to being outside of the loop. "I want to know what's going on."

"He needs to stay linked to Seth." I answered.

"Well, then would _you_ be so kind as to tell me what's happening?" I hadn't realized how little information Alice had, she was usually the source of distribution. I quickly explained.

"The pack thinks Bella's become a problem. They foresee potential danger from the" I paused knowing Alice's aversion to my referring to that _thing_ as the murdering half monster it was. "from what she's carrying. They feel it's their duty to remove that danger. Jacob and Seth disbanded from the pack to warn us. The rest are planning to attack tonight."

Seth reported in, _All's quiet on the western front._ He decided to make a loop, to ensure they did not go around.

"We should take up a defensive position." Jasper said. _The house is the best security we have. The metal shields are down over the back, we can also prepare the panic room - for Bella, we don't have the supplies she'll need in there._

I nodded. "Let's get inside."

Jacob decided to run perimeter with Seth_. If I get too far for you to hear my head, listen for my howl._

"I will." My family and I backed into the house, scanning the woods for any sign of an attack.

Bella's heart was stuttering and she was not getting enough air. Something more needed to be done – that thing needed to be removed.

The monster awakened, I began formulating a plan. I would need a distraction, and it would only take a few seconds to cut through. I realized that cutting Bella would cause excruciating pain and I would not add to her misery. We would have to give her some morphine – but with Rosalie so close it would be impossible, she would smell it before I got it into Bella. I had no choice. I had to take Rosalie out, leave her in parts so Emmett would focus on repairing his wife. That would be enough time.

I heard Carlisle and Esme return. That would complicate things. Esme would have to be distracted. I could send them all on a quick mission. There had to be a way. The howling shook the monster and I ceased looking at the plans for battle against Rosalie. I went to the window searching for any sign of the pack. The attack.

_False alarm, false alarm. Sorry. Seth is young. He forgets things. No one's attacking. False alarm._ I could see Jacob through the glass window, enter the meadow. His thoughts went to Seth's reaction to Jacob's agreement to kill me once Bella died. Seth was upset, arguing that Jacob could not follow through. _There's nothing out there – you got that?_

I nodded my understanding, realizing he was still approaching the unlit house. He could not see her like this – so weak, vulnerable. She wouldn't care for it. I dismissed him and turned to look at Bella.

_What's going on? _Jacob cried. I waved him away and moved out of his eyesight. It was not the time for a visit.

"It was a false alarm." I told my family. "Seth was upset about something else, and he forgot we were listening for a signal." I droned. "He's very young."

"Nice to have toddlers guarding the fort," Emmett commented.

"They've done us a great service tonight, Emmett," Carlisle said. His eyes never leaving Bella's monitors. "At great personal sacrifice."

"Yeah, I know. I'm just jealous. Wish I was out there."

I joined in the conversation, "Seth doesn't think Sam will attack now. Not with us forewarned and lacking two members of their pack."

"What does Jacob think?" Carlisle asked.

"He's not as optimistic." I watched as Carlisle continued to examine the intricate leads monitoring Bella. He began to adjust one by lifting her hand.

"Don't touch her! You'll wake her up," Rosalie whispered.

Waking Bella up was the least of concerns to be addressed. Rosalie behaved as if Carlisle would do anything to harm my wife. Rosalie's over protectiveness was beyond exasperating, words would not come, just a puff of unused air.

"Rosalie," Carlisle looked up, conveying his frustration with her.

"Don't start with me, Carlisle. We let you have your way earlier, but that's all we're allowing."

Through me, the monster would rip her head off and launch it out the window – four or five miles away, maybe thirty. Emmett was strong, but I would be faster. He would be forced to go chase her head as it flew through the woods – gone long enough for a c-section.

I would wait for a distraction. Carlisle and Esme left to stock the panic room with medical supplies. Jasper and Alice were gathering food supplies. I watched as Rosalie stood at the head of Bella's bed, my rage began to show on my face. The pain, the death would be stopped. The monster relished the moment.

Bella coughed, the pain obvious, her body jerked and she whimpered. It was time to save her. Rosalie lightly wiped away the sweat forming on Bella's forehead. I stiffened, ready to attack, my eyes intent, when Emmett put himself in front of Rosalie.

"Not tonight, Edward. We've got other things to worry about." He growled. _Relax bro. The wolf pack will be here shortly and we need everyone, Rose included, fighting._

His words were true. The hate, anger and frustration forced me to turn toward the larger enemy, Sam's pack. I walked away to the large glass window, Jacob was outside, his glaze met mine then he turned to run back into the dark forest. _Worse. Yes she was worse._ He thought.

I stood guard awaiting the attack by the werewolves that would end all of lives, while counting Bella's heartbeats. It was obvious that the nutrition and fluids were not helping, her heart was beating more erratic – it didn't matter, we'd all be dead soon.


	11. Chapter 11 A Toast

Between watching the woods for the wolf attack to watching for Bella to die, there had been no relaxation in the house. Bella's uneasy sleep was marred by the punching and kicking of the monster that grew inside her body. Her stomach was a large mound, carrying death, a cruel joke. The larger her belly stretched, the smaller she got. That thing sucked every part of her up and put it into its cocoon of death.

There was no quiet this night. The sounds of paws pressing into the ground around and around the perimeter of our land were assurances that we would have forewarning of the attack. The monitors steady beeping, telling me what I already knew. The drip of the fluids into the IV cords sending nutrition straight to that hated beast. The air rising and falling in eight pairs of lungs, each breath different, only one labored and necessary. Soft moans, forced from a poor body, too weak to prevent the sounds of pain from echoing throughout the house.

As the sun rose across the cloudy sky, there were new sounds of animals furrowing throughout the forest. Birds chirping. But like the night I listened for only one sound. They were fewer, less pronounced, but welcomed. I honored each one. I listened to my Bella's heartbeats.

Another noise came from the forest, a howling that soon snarled into a whimper. We all heard it, followed by the running of a lone wolf.

I went outside to the porch, flanked once again by Jasper and Emmett. Before we could see the wolf come into the clearing, I heard Seth yelling. _Sorry false alarm, it was just my dumb sister – switching sides._

Seth then came into the clearing. There was no need to talk, Bella was moaning. I turned and went back into the house.

_Wow, he looks bad. _I saw myself in Seth's thoughts as he ran back into the forest. I was a hollow shadow a true walking dead man. There was no more emotion left. Nothing.

I had done all I could to save her. I had prepared all I could to save her if she didn't survive. The only thing left to do was share her last moments in love.

I'm not sure where I found the energy; maybe it was our love that gave me the strength. She was still alert when awake, but her body tired too easily. I told her stories of our life together, the beauty that she carried. She listened as I told her short stories about the many cars I'd driven and the places I'd visited. None of those experiences could ever compare to the day we were married or the day she first told me she loved me.

"What about our honeymoon." A faint color outlined her cheek bones. I leaned closer placing my cheek against hers.

"I spent weeks planning our honeymoon. I researched the different places we could explore together, like the caves and the rain forest on Isle Esme." I whispered in her ear. "I studied cooking." I stopped, there was something more I needed to say. "You've given me so much joy. . .

"Don't do that." Her words came in between her short warm breathes that reached my cheeks.

"You are my life."

"No good-byes, ever." Her system registered her increased stress, the monitors followed. "Promise."

"I promise." I looked at her face – as long as we both shall live. She relaxed. I turned my head to Carlisle, who was checking Bella's monitors.

"Carlisle, would you check with Jacob, he's human, so you won't need me to translate." Jacob always seemed to stay calm when Carlisle greeted him.

"Tell me what's going on with Jacob." Bella asked. I told her everything, including Alice's vision.

"What does Alice see now?" she asked?

"There doesn't seem to be any change, the decision to abort the attack has not been made. She is having a hard time trying to see past the half human werewolves but also seeing you.

"Probably because the baby is half human too."

"Maybe. She says the closer she is to . . ." I looked to the huge mound under the covers, "the more difficult it is to see the future, so difficult that . . " I paused, Bella would not like knowing that she caused Alice pain.

"It hurts her to be near." Bella finished. "I thought it was just hurting her to see me sick." Her face frowned, another jolt came to her body from inside.

"Please don't worry about her or Jake. I will take care of them both. Between the two of them, they have helped me to save your life often enough. I owe them."

"You're right. Until the pack calls off the attack, we'll have to trust them to come up with a way to save us. They won't let us down." She closed her eyes as if she was waiting for one of them to come up with something immediately.

I listened to Carlisle explain Bella's condition to Jacob. "I'd say there's an even chance at this point. I've seen vampire venom work miracles, but there are conditions that even venom cannot overcome. Her heart is working too hard now; if it should fail. . . there won't be anything for me to do."

"What is that thing doing to her?" Jacob asked. "She was so much worse last night. I saw . . . the tubes and all that. Through the window."

"The fetus isn't compatible with her body. Too strong for one thing, but she could probably endure that for a while. The bigger problem is that it won't allow her to get the sustenance she needs. Her body is rejecting every form of nutrition. I'm trying to feed her intravenously, but she's just not absorbing it. Everything about her condition is accelerated. I'm watching her – and not just her, but the fetus as well – starve to death by the hour. I can't stop it and I can't slow it down. I can't figure out what it wants." Carlisle had spent countless hours searching for remedies.

_Probably just looking for something to sink its teeth into – a throat to suck dry. Since it wasn't big enough to kill anyone else yet, it settled for sucking Bella's life from her. I could tell them exactly what it wanted: death and blood, blood and death._

Jacob's thoughts were exactly what Bella had expected. He was coming up with a way that might save her life – what would it hurt if we pursued Jacob's reasoning? Nothing else was working. It won't hurt her. Carlisle hadn't thought of this, I wonder what his opinion would be . . .

I stood up, "I'll be right back, Bella. I want to speak with Carlisle for a moment. Actually, Rosalie, would you mind accompanying me?" Might as well keep her in the loop so she wouldn't interfere – think it's some ruse or something.

"What is it, Edward?" Bella asked hoarsely.

"Nothing you need to worry about, love. It will just take a second." I turned to Rosalie, "Please, Rose?" There was a hint of promise in my voice, a hint that she would find irresistible.

"Esme?" Rosalie called. _What mess are you going to try now? You won't succeed. Idiot._ "Can you mind Bella for me?"

Esme whooshed to Bella's side. "Of course."

I walked out the door first, when Rosalie followed, I shut the door behind us. "Carlisle."

"What is it Edward?"

"Perhaps we've been going about this the wrong way. I was listening to you and Jacob just now, and when you were speaking of what the . . . " blood-sucking seed, "wants, Jacob had an interesting thought."

_Me? What was I thinking? I hate that thing, just like you._

"We haven't actually addressed that angle. We've been trying to get Bella what she needs. And her body is accepting it about as well as one of ours would. Perhaps we should address the needs of the . . . " life-sucking leech "fetus first. Maybe if we can satisfy it, we'll be able to help her more effectively."

"I'm not following you, Edward." Carlisle responded.

"Think about it, Carlisle. If that creature is more vampire than human, can't you guess what it craves – what it's not getting? Jacob did."

_It craves – ugh good thing I got a strong stomach._

"Oh" Carlisle's accepted the obvious – he had never treated a vampire, there had never been a need to consider the needs of one either. _I should have known – it's almost obvious_. "You think it is . . . thirsty?"

Even Rosalie caught on, her excitement hardly contained. _Yes, the baby wants blood._ "Of course. Carlisle, we have that entire type O negative laid aside for Bella. It's a good idea." _Bella won't need it, she's not losing any blood._

Carlisle took more time to consider. "Hmm. . " He absently started fidgeting, acting like a human doctor, rubbing his chin deep in thought. _But if that is what it needs, how to get it to the fetus. Can't use a needle – the membrane is too thick._ "And, what would be the best way to administer?" He said out loud contemplating to himself.

"We don't have time to be creative." Rosalie shook her head._ Bella and the baby need help now, we can't lose them._ "I'd say we start with the traditional way."

Jacob's head started shaking. _This can't be happening. _"Wait a minute. Just hold on. Are you –you talking about making Bella drink blood?"

"It was your idea, dog," Rosalie said as she hissed under her breath, impatient that Jacob would have any input whatsoever. _Stay out of it mutt._

"That's just . . ." Jacob was looking for the right words to say out loud.

I said what he didn't "Monstrous? Repulsive?" Carlisle seemed to warm to the idea. Rosalie was ready to begin.

Jacob's face was scrunched up. He turned to me. _Monstrous, Repulsive._ "Pretty much."

"But what if it helps her?"

"What are you gonna do, shove a tube down her throat?" He shook his head in disgust.

"I plan to ask her what she thinks. I just wanted to run it past Carlisle first." I answered.

"If you tell her it might help the baby, she'll be willing to do anything. Even if we do have to feed them through the tube." Rosalie agreed.

Jacob looked at Rosalie when she said baby. _She's maternal? She'd probably do anything for that little life-sucking leech. She probably wants the baby for herself._

I had to nod my head in agreement with Jacob's thoughts. Rosalie was so very close to having the baby she so desperately wanted – the ultimate reason why she wanted to be human. She was experiencing pregnancy vicariously.

_That ice-cold Barbie wanted a baby. So much for protecting Bella – Rosalie'd probably jam the tube down Bella's throat herself._

Jacob's thoughts were awakening the monster. I wanted death and killing Rosalie would satisfy it – for now. I withheld the monster with a growl, pursing my lips.

"Well, we don't have time to sit around discussing this." Rosalie impatience showed. "What do you think, Carlisle? Can we try?"

Carlisle quickly thought of a patient's right. _I can't ignore her will. It wouldn't be right to make such a choice for her, to force her. Not in this and not in terminating the pregnancy._

He stood up, concluding the discussion. "We'll ask Bella."

We swiftly went into the house, the four of us. I let Carlisle take the lead, Rosalie was on his heels. Jacob and I followed.

Bella looked cautiously at us. "What's going on?" There was fear in her eyes and her hand held her stomach protectively.

"Jacob had an idea that might help you." Carlisle declared.

_Leave me out of this – give the credit to her blood-sucking husband._

"It won't be . . . pleasant, but-" Carlisle was interrupted by Rosalie.

"But it will help the baby." Rosalie's voice rose with excitement. "We found a better way to feed him. Maybe." _If she won't be able to drink it, we can use a tube._

I saw Bella look around, searching and then a quick chuckle, strangled by the pain she felt "Not pleasant?" Her small voice continued "Gosh, that'll be such a change." Her eyes went to the tubes and monitors around her.

Rosalie laughed.

I frowned and controlled my anger, resisting the urge to snap Rosalie's neck, as I stepped around her. I went to Bella's side and picked up her free hand.

"Bella, love, we're going to ask you to do something monstrous. Repulsive."

"How bad?"

I let Carlisle explain. "We think the fetus might have an appetite closer to ours than to yours. We think it's thirsty."

"Oh. _Oh."_ She understood that she would have to drink blood.

Carlisle continued, "Your condition-both of your conditions- are deteriorating rapidly. We don't have time to waste, to come up with more palatable ways to do this. The fastest way to test the theory-"

"I've got to drink it." She whispered. There was only a slight hesitation. "I can do that. Practice for the future right?"

_._

I watched her expression, yes she would do it. Rosalie started tapping her foot on the floor. _Stop all this procrastination, they are getting worse. Why are you all so busy trying to make it sound so bad? We all do it. _

"So, who's going to catch me a grizzly bear?" Bella asked.

Jacob's thoughts were loud. _Trying to ease the tension with jokes, make it better for everyone else. So Bella. _

I glanced at Carlisle. _Human blood, Edward._ Rosalie stopped tapping her foot.

"What?" Bella whispered.

"It will be a more effective test if we don't cut corners, Bella." Carlisle responded.

"If the fetus" leech "is craving blood it's not craving animal blood." I explained.

"It won't make a difference to you, Bella. Don't think about it." Rosalie interjected.

Bella tried to figure out where the blood would come from, she barely breathed and asked "Who?" She tilted her head towards Jacob.

"I'm not here as the donor, Bells," Jacob was shaking his head furiously. "'Sides its human blood that that things after, and I don't think mine applies –" Jacob looked around and I gave him a slight nod.

"We have blood on hand," Rosalie interrupted Jacob, ignoring him completely. _We don't have time for this mutt's barking._ "For you-just in case. Don't worry about anything at all. It's going to be fine. I have a good feeling about this, Bella. I think the baby will be so much better."

I refused to look at Rosalie. My anger was barely under control. The stronger the baby got, the weaker Bella was and the quicker her death. Rosalie needed to take a flight - out the window.

"Well," Bella continued. "I'm starving, so I'll bet he is too. Let's go for it. My first vampire act." I wasn't too thrilled with this, probably because Rosalie was so insistent and Bella compliant. Carlisle and Rosalie were upstairs, preparing the drink before her head nodded in agreement.

I saddened at what love has led her to – her first vampire act and she wasn't a vampire. Something I would never have asked or wanted for her. I couldn't look at her differently though, I loved her. She was my life. She was everything to me. She thought there was nothing that I wouldn't do for her, all I did was minor - insignificant. She has proved time and again that there isn't anything she wouldn't do for me.

This was her choice, like Carlisle said. It was another impasse between us, but we would not stop loving and supporting one another. She could do this, but I wasn't sure this would work. She forced a smile across her pale lips. I rubbed her hand gently. Her choice.

The rest of our family, stood around the bed. Waiting. Almost admiring our relationship. Even Jacob's jealously was abated by our tender moment. I blocked them all out of my thoughts. There were only one person's thoughts that I wanted to hear. I wasn't hearing her though, even now. She had my heart and I would support her choice. Make it easier.

Rosalie sprinted by us to the kitchen, caring the warmed blood in a large container. I saw her thoughts to the object of her visit to the kitchen, a clear plastic drinking cup. "Not clear, Rosalie." I shook my head, disgusted at her lack of consideration. The life-sucking leech couldn't see the drinking cup and that's what mattered to Rosalie.

Bella looked at Jacob, straining her voice so he could hear her. "This was your idea?"

_Funny she forgets I'm not completely human. I can hear her just fine, kind of nice that she sees me as human._ "Don't blame me for this one. Your vampire was just picking snide comments out of my head."

"I didn't expect to see you again." She strained to give him a smile.

"Yeah, me, either." He said.

"Edward told me what you had to do. I'm sorry." Amazing, she was so very caring.

"S'okay. It was probably only a matter of time till I snapped over something Sam wanted me to do." He wasn't very convincing. Bella seemed to catch the lie.

"And Seth?"

"He's actually happy to help."

"I hate causing you trouble."

Jacob threw his head back and laughed. Between me and my wife, trouble is all Jacob found.

"I guess that's nothing new is it?" She asked.

"No, not really."

"You don't have to stay and watch this." She was tiring, her words barely audible.

"I don't really have anywhere else to go. The wolf thing is a lot less appealing since Leah joined up."

"Leah?" Bella was surprised.

He turned to me, "You didn't tell her?" I really hadn't thought it was newsworthy. I shrugged my shoulders. I focused on Bella's heart beats. They were strained.

"Why?" Bella asked Jacob.

"To keep an eye on Seth."

"But Leah hates us." Each word a strain.

I wanted them to stop talking. Let her rest, but it was probably a good thing for her to have the distraction.

"Leah's not going to bug anyone. She's in my pack, so she follows my lead." Jacob attempted to sound convincing.

Bella's looked at Jacob "sure."

"You're scared of Leah, but you're best buds with the psychopath blonde?"

My like for Jacob grew. He was able to say what I only thought. I'd have hurt too many people if I'd have said that. Actually it was juvenile. She got away with calling me so many names in her thoughts, but her thoughts did betray her.

"Don't." Bella begged. "Rose . . understands."

"Yeah," Jacob despised Rosalie. "She understands that you're gonna die and she doesn't care, s'long as she gets her mutant spawn out of the deal."

It was out. I wouldn't stop the discussion. Bella didn't seem surprised though.

"Stop being a jerk, Jacob," she tried to sound angry.

"You say that like its possible."

Jacob was able to insult Rosalie and make Bella smile at the same time. It seemed I underestimated the talents of this youngster.

The drink was ready, inside an opaque brown cup, not clear. Carlisle extended the cup to Bella. _Can she hold it?_ "We could try another method." He said.

"No." She was so very brave. "No, I'll try this first. We don't have time . . " She pulled her hand over her stomach and unsteadily reached for the cup. She was leaning against the pillows, but she would have to sit up more to be able to drink.

Her hand was shaking as she held the cup, bracing herself for the pain. Rosalie reached around to cradle Bella's head.

"Thanks." Bella looked at all of us, refusing to let us know the physical pain she was feeling. Scared it would get worse, if the blood worked. She was also concerned that the smell of blood had made her faint and nauseous.

"Don't mind them," Rosalie murmured.

The cup reached her face. She risked smelling it, scrunching her face ready for the aroma to take her away to unconsciousness.

I held out my hand for the cup, she didn't need to become ill again. "Bella, sweetheart, we can find an easier way."

_Get away from that cup you Idiot!_ Rosalie's thoughts no longer caught me off-guard. "Plug your nose."

Bella surprised me, "No, that's not it. It's just that it" She took a big whiff. "It smells good."

For the first time in her life, the smell of blood would not make her ill, faint or disgusted.

"That's a good thing," Rosalie encouraged. "That means we're on the right track. Give it a try."

I watched as Bella placed the straw between her thin dry lips, took a deep breath through her mouth and tasted human blood. Her eyes were shut. She moaned from the pain and great effort it took to lift her body to take in the drink.

"Bella, love-"

"I'm okay." Her eyes opened and I could tell that she was okay, not pain free but okay with drinking the blood. "It tastes good, too." She added.

"That's good." Rosalie was pleased. "A good sign." _I knew this would work._

I promised myself that I would stop listening to Rosalie's thoughts. I went closer to Bella and placed my hand on her cheek. So strange to see her drink, brave. She swallowed another gulp of the blood, as if it were her favorite drink.

"How's your stomach? Do you feel nauseated?"Carlisle asked.

"No, I don't feel sick." She shook her head, relieved. "There's a first, eh?"

I knew she wasn't sparing our feelings, nausea wasn't easy to hide.

"Excellent." Rosalie said.

"I think it's a bit early for that Rose," Carlisle cautioned. Bella needed nutrition that the blood would not provide. I continued to block out Rosalie's thoughts.

Bella took another breath sucking in more of the red, warm liquid. Her eyebrows began to wrinkle forming a 'v' and she looked at me. "Does this screw my total? Or do we start counting _after_ I'm a vampire?"

"No one is counting, Bella. In any case, no one died for this, your record is still clean." I tried to give her a smile, hoping beyond hope that she would want to remain human and alive.

_What does that mean? _Jacob shouted in his mind. I was surprised that he'd stuck around, even now, he stood directly across from me, surrounded by vampires. There really wasn't much he wouldn't do for his best friend.

"I'll explain later." I told him, so low that it sounded like I'd taken a heavy breath.

"What?" Bella asked, she didn't miss much.

"Just talking to myself." I didn't want to distract her from her task, easier to lie.

_If Bella lives, and her senses become sharp like yours, you'd better work on the honesty thing. _Jacob thought.

I pinched my lips together, forcing away an ill-timed smile. Sharing his mind was a welcomed distraction for me. Bella continued to drink, focusing on keeping her body still in order to avoid further pain.

_She's pretending we're not here, probably just me though. The rest of this group wouldn't be disgusted by what she's doing. Just the opposite – they are probably having a tough time not ripping the cup away from her to drink it themselves._

Jacob's thoughts were not always consistent with reality. I rolled my eyes, just to let him know that he was wrong and out of line.

_Jeez, how did anyone stand living with him? It was really too bad he couldn't hear Bella's thoughts. Then he'd annoy the crap out of her too, and she'd get tired of him._

Okay that was funny enough for a chuckle.

Bella looked at me, wanting in on the joke, certain it was probably about her, a faint hint of a blush was apparent, the first color on her face in days. "Something funny?" She asked.

"Jacob."

"Jake's a crack-up," she nodded her head slightly, understanding.

"Bada _bing"_ Jake replied, irritated to be the court jester.

After a smile at Jacob's latest wise crack, she finished the drink. "I did it. If I keep this down, Carlisle will you take the needles out of me?"

"As soon as possible," he agreed. "Honestly they aren't doing that much good where they are."

Carlisle was right the IV nutrition wasn't doing as much good as a couple of cups of blood. Bella not only looked better, she was better. She was able to hold her own head, her voice was clearer, her breathing was easier and there was color in her face. Mostly, her heart was stronger.

"Would you like more?" Rosalie asked.

I reminded myself that I would not attack her nor would I listen to her psychotic thoughts. I glared at her though, grateful she wasn't able to read my thoughts.

Bella dropped her shoulders, accepting the push from Rosalie.

"You don't have to drink more right away." I told her. Vampires could wait day between feedings, perhaps the same was true with the thing Bella was caring.

"Yeah, I know." She looked resigned to having more. "But . . . I _want_ to."

Rosalie petted Bella's hair, soothing her. "You don't need to be embarrassed about that, Bella. Your body has cravings. We all understand that. Anyone who doesn't understand shouldn't be here."

Bella understood the biting tone of Rosalie's words – obviously addressed to Jacob and possibly myself included. I wasn't reading her thoughts to find out though. Bella handed her cup to Carlisle and she turned to look at Jacob.

"Jake, you look awful."

"Look who's talking." Jacob retorted.

"Seriously –when's the last time you slept?"

"Huh, I'm not actually sure."

"Aw, Jake. Now I'm messing with your health too. Don't be stupid. Get some rest, please. There's a few beds upstairs—you're welcome to any of them."

_Not Rosalie's_

"Thanks Bells, but I'd rather sleep on the ground. Away from the stench, you know."

"Right."

She was more concerned with others than herself, I was glad to see that her body allowed her kindness to return. It also removed the need for Rosalie to hover over her, ready to catch her if she fell over. Bella quickly finished the second cup.

"How do you feel now?" Carlisle asked.

"Not sick. Sort of hungry . . . only I'm not sure if I'm hungry or thirsty, you know?"

"Carlisle, just look at her," Rosalie's haughty tone interjected in her enough to set anyone on the edge, but especially me. "This is obviously what her body wants. She should drink more."

"She's still human, Rosalie. She needs food, too. Let's give her a little while to see how this affects her, and then maybe we can try some food again. Does anything sound particularly good to you, Bella?"

"Eggs," she answered without hesitation, turning to look at me. We both smiled.

Jacob seemed to blank out. "Jacob, you really should sleep. As Bella said, you're certainly welcome to the accommodations here, though you'd probably be more comfortable outside. Don't worry about anything. I promise I'll find you if there's a need."

"Sure, sure." He answered. _Bloodsucker will wake me up if something went wrong. You owe me._

"I do." I agreed.

Jacob patted Bella's hand, feeling coldness. "Feel better."

"Thanks Jacob." She squeezed his hand.

"Get her a blanket or something," Jacob slurred as he went to the door.

Two urgent howls pierced the air. Trouble. Jacob snarled "Dammit" and was out of the door, phasing as he went down the stairs from the porch, his clothes ripping to shreds. _Crap._ There was no mistaken the urgency, they were coming.

A/N – I will post the last 8 chapters as soon as I have them beta'd. Absent a boat –load of comments and encouragements I will stop the story at 18 chapters. On a good note, I have a B+E story in the works that I have to finish outlining before I can put up the first few chapters.


	12. Chapter 12 Ready Troop

**The metal wall and security system were still activated and in place. I stood near Bella's bed, our hands together. The rest of our family stood nearby. There was an atmosphere of anticipation, rather than fear in the air. Bella was able to peer out the window to the place where Jacob disappeared into the night, "Is this it?" **

"**I don't know, but I don't want you to stress yourself. I can still hear Jacob's thoughts. They are holding their ground about three miles out." I answered. Everyone was quiet, waiting for my next report and ready to defend our family. Some of us might not survive, but she would, there was a clear path to the panic room. Rose or Esme would stay with her, if necessary, until it was safe. I would fight this time, mainly because there was no advantage of foresight, so my skills were necessary for this fight. I concentrated on the thoughts of the werewolves. Jacob's were the easiest to hear, followed by Seth. I was able to pick up the faint thoughts of the others.**

"**There are four of them approaching, slowly. Seth believes that three are in wolf and the fourth in human form. The other pack has stopped, it looks like they want to talk rather than fight. Jacob is concerned that one of the wolves is too young to be on a diplomatic mission – he's trying to determine if the remaining pack members are sneaking around to attack us."**

"**No. No, they think it would be a suicide mission if the three remaining members attacked. Communications between the two packs is hindered—they can't hear the other packs thoughts. It's tense."**

"**Jared is in human form. He's told Jacob that he's there to talk to put up the 'white flag of truce.' He wants Jacob to change to human form, but Jacob won't—he wants to stay connected to Seth and Leah. **

"**They want Jacob to come back to the pact and heal the rupture in the family. Sam believes that the disbanding is an overreaction." I growled my disagreement.**

"**The pack wants to take things more slowly. The Elders decided that immediate action is in no one's best interest at this point. Billy and Sue agree with Jacob. They will reassess and decide if there is a problem after . . . the delivery." There was a unified sigh of relief from everyone in the room. We would not have to defend ourselves today. **

"**Jacob's in human form, now. Jared's begging him to come back to La Push and let Leah and Seth return too. Jacob doesn't believe he can stop being an Alpha leader and two leaders in La Push will cause competition."**

**Rosalie stopped listening and began to pat Bella's head. "See it's going to be fine. All the werewolves can leave and we can focus on you and the baby. You are looking so much better. Let's move you back to the couch and put the house back in order."**

**It was true, Bella was stronger and her heart was beating more steadily. Carlisle removed all the leads and cords, except for the IV. Rosalie reached to pick up Bella. "Just a minute Rose, I want to listen to what's going on with Jacob."**

**I continued my report. "When Jacob, Seth and Leah left the pack, they gave up access to their home. They don't have any clothes forcing them to remain wolves, at least until they rejoin the pack or find a new home. Apparently, food is a problem too, Leah doesn't enjoy the wolf diet.**

"**Jared offers Sam's apologies for forcing Jacob to go along with the attack. Jacob says he's not angry for what Sam did to him but that he isn't going back to La Push. He wants to wait and make sure all of us are safe, not just Bella. Jacob advises them to stick to Quileute land and they'd stay in our boundaries. If either pack wants to talk again, they should howl at the border line.**

"**That's all. Jacob's on his way back to give us a report. He ripped his clothes earlier, so he'll need something to wear. We can relax for now; there will not be an attack. Alice have you seen anything?"**

"**The last time I tried was at sunrise, before Sam met with the Elders. I'll try again, hopefully . . ." Alice danced up the stairs after she turned off the security system. **

**Rosalie gently picked up Bella and moved her to the couch that Emmett pushed away from the back wall. The metal wall was retracted and the room was instantly brighter. The hospital bed was removed to the library upstairs. **

"**Carlisle, we can't allow Jacob and his pack to remain homeless." Esme began plans to mother the wolf pack. **

"**Let's get Jacob some clothes, as well as clothes for Seth and Leah. They probably will not like the smell, so I'll wash them first. I'll cook them something to eat too. Poor Leah, she doesn't like us, I hope she'll at least like the food." **_**Please speak to Jacob about accepting our help without embarrassment.**_** M**_**ake sure they don't consider themselves without a home. Whatever they desire, they need but ask.**_

**Esme, finding a new "project," quickly left the room and began preparing clothes and food for the werewolves. Within seconds, she passed me a button down shirt and pair of khaki pants, Emmett's old clothes. I placed the clothing outside. **

**When I returned, Bella was sitting on the couch, her feet curled up, covered in blankets. I worried about her comfort, but she wanted to stay near the family, I watched as she talked to Emmett. She had Emmett put in a musical, the same DVD from our honeymoon. **

"**I think I'll go up and see if Alice has seen anything." Emmett said. **_**No way am I watching that film. Kind of wish Rosalie wouldn't watch it- she'll get ideas.**_

"**I'll go with you." Jasper raced up the stairs slightly in front of Emmett. **

"**I never did finish watching this movie." Bella said. Her arm was still connected to an IV and she kept her head turned away from the needle. **

**I went and sat next to my wife, placing her feet in my lap. It would be the second time I'd watched the movie. I was determined to concentrate on it this second time, keeping my attention on it rather than the creature that was killing my wife was much better to stop the monster from creating a new battle plan.**

**It didn't take long for my attention to split, I turned to Alice, who was in her room. She was again searching our futures, this time there were images of vampires. I couldn't tell when in time the images would happen; only that it was certain that we all had futures. I believe I even saw myself. **

"**Can you tell when these events will take place?" Jasper asked.**

"**Not really, probably just a few minutes in the future. Something is missing."**

"**Bella." I said loud enough for Alice to hear me, but softly enough not to frighten Bella. **

**Bella turned her head to me, "Yes."**

"**I was asking Alice about your future. She sees the rest of us, me included but not you." I patted her feet that were wrapped up on my lap.**

"**Edward, I wouldn't worry about it, she hasn't seen me since I've been pregnant. I'm sure I'm there." Bella answered.**

_**Edward, she's all blurry. **_**Alice's thoughts reached me. **_**Apparently the fetus is too much a part of her future for me to see her, but it doesn't really matter because I'm only seeing a few minutes ahead anyway. It's killing my head to watch her. I'm certain she's there.**_

"**You'd have to be." Was all I could say because I knew there was no way I'd exist in a world without Bella, no matter how far in the future one looked. "Are you hungry, Bella?"**

"**I think I could eat something and maybe keep it down."**

**Esme came from the kitchen with a plate of scrambled eggs with cheese. Bella took the plate and quickly finished every morsel. "All gone." She said, a smile widen across her face.**

**Esme gathered up the plate replacing it with a cup of blood. "Here's something, in case you get – want something to drink."**

"**Thanks, Mom." She took a gulp. Nearly all of her color had returned along with some of her strength. She sneaked a peek at me and winked.**

"**You've already won her over." I said as I considered that Bella might be able to stay human after delivery. I'd like that. Jacob would like that, I thought just as he walked into the room and I glanced at him. I smiled at how much the two of us were in agreement on all things Bella. I wouldn't have ever imagined that I would consider my mortal enemy a brother. **

**Bella's eyes followed mine and she welcomed him back with a bright smile. She was excited to see him. I held my stare, not wanting her to see the hurt in my eyes by her welcome. Jacob and I may have been on the same page regarding Bella, but we were still rivals for her affection, even though she was married to me. Of course, the jealousy didn't help.**

**Jacob didn't enjoy her welcome any more than I did. **_**Why does she have to light up like that? She's married! Happily married, too—and pregnant.**_** He thought. **_**If she would just not care . . . Or more than that—really not want me around. It would be so much easier to stay away.**_

**I watched the happiness on my wife's face. It saddened me how much hurt Jacob was going through and the pain she endured because of it. He should always feel welcomed here, wherever Bella was.**

"**They just wanted to talk. No attack on the horizon." Exhaustion caused Jacob to mumble his words.**

"**Yes, I heard most of it." I told him.**

"**How?"**

"**I'm hearing you more clearly—it's a matter of familiarity and concentration. Also, your thoughts are slightly easier to pick up when you're in your human form. So I caught most of what passed out there."**

"**Good, I hate repeating myself." He was tired and not in a very good mood. He needed rest.**

"**I'd tell you to go get some sleep," Bella said, "but my guess is that you're going to pass out on the floor in about six seconds, so there's probably no point."**

**He turned to leave, "One Mississippi . . . two Mississippi . . ."**

"**Where's the flood, mutt?" Rosalie snapped.**

"**You know how you drown a blonde, Rosalie?" He asked as he continued to walk to the door. "Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool."**

**I had to laugh at that one, classic description of Rosalie and a mirror. So self absorbed she'd drown herself just to see her own reflection.**

"**I've already heard that one." Rosalie growled.**

**I remembered that I needed to talk with him about his homeless situation. I got up to follow Jacob.**

"**Where are you going?" Bella asked.**

"**There was something I forgot to say to him."**

"**Let Jacob sleep—it can wait."**

"**It will only take a moment" I was out the door as Jacob turned to look at me.**

"**Jeez, what now?"**

"**I'm sorry." He wasn't going to make this easy. "When you were speaking to Sam's delegates earlier, I was giving a play-by-play for Carlisle and Esme and the rest. They were concerned—"He stopped me.**

"**Look we're not dropping our guard. You don't have to believe Sam like we do. We're keeping our eyes open regardless." **

"**No, no Jacob. Not about that. We trust your judgment. Rather, Esme was troubled by the hardships this is putting your pack through. She asked me to speak to you privately about it."**

"**Hardships?"**

"**The homeless part, particularly. She's very upset that you are all so . . .bereft."**

"**We're tough. Tell her not to worry."**

"**She'd still like to do what she can. I got the impression that Leah prefers not to eat in her wolf form?"**

"**And?"**

"**Well, we do have normal human food here, Jacob. Keeping up appearances, and, of course, for Bella. Leah is welcome to anything she'd like. All of you are.**

"**I'll pass that along."**

"**Leah hates us."**

"**So?"**

"**So try to pass it along in such a way as to make her consider it, if you don't mind." His bad mood was not getting better.**

"**I'll do what I can."**

"**And then there's the matter of clothes."**

"**Oh yeah. Thanks." He looked at what he was wearing.**

**I wasn't looking for a thank you, I smiled. "Well, we're easily able to help out with any needs there. Alice rarely allows us to wear the same thing twice. We've got piles of band-new clothes that are destined for Goodwill, and I'd imagine that Leah is fairly close to Esme's size . . ." He stopped me again.**

"**Not sure how she'll feel about bloodsucker castoffs. She's not as practical as I am." **

"**I trust that you can present the offer in the best possible light. As well as, the offer for any other physical object you might need, or transportation or anything else at all. And showers, too, since you prefer to sleep outdoors. Please . . . don't consider yourselves without the benefits of a home."**

"**That's, er, nice of you. Tell Esme we appreciate the, uh, thought. But the perimeter cuts through the river in a few places, so we stay pretty clean thanks."**

"**If you would pass the offer on, regardless."**

"**Sure, sure."**

"**Thank you." I turned towards the house just as I heard a snap come from the couch followed by a soft, painful cry. **

**It sounded like a bone breaking. I was beside Bella in less than half a second, her breathing shallow and quick. She was curled forward on the couch, being propped up by Rosalie with Esme nearby and Carlisle reaching to examine her. The monster in me, that hated to see her in pain crept forward, its mind listening intently.**

"**Give me a second, Carlisle." Bella raised a finger towards him and panted.**

"**Bella, I heard something crack. I need to take a look." Carlisle was anxiously worried. **

**That half vampire beast was breaking bones! The stronger she got also meant the stronger the life-sucking monster got. How much more could her body take? She continued to hold Carlisle at bay, trying to keep everyone calm, but the monster in me would not be refrained.**

"**Pretty sure" she could barely speak between the short gulps of air she took. "it was a rib. Ow. Yep. Right here." She pointed at her left lower rib, nearest to the top of the huge mountain she carried. A plan was formulating in the monster within me.**

"**I need to take an X-ray. There might be splinters. We don't want to puncture anything." **

"**Okay." Bella said, grimacing at the pain that would follow from being moved. Rosalie was nearest and we both moved to pick up Bella. Rosalie reached her before I could. "I've already got her."**_** Why don't you take the dog for a walk?**_

**I chided myself for hearing Rosalie's thoughts, instead of the plan that the monster was devising. I wouldn't argue with Rosalie, Bella needed medical attention and the monster needed to focus. I was the last one through the door upstairs and watched as Bella was placed gently on the table.**

**I took Bella's hand while Carlisle ran the machine over her chest. "I'm so sorry Bella." I whispered. **_**That's right,**_** the monster whispered to me, **_**make her think you've given up, we'll get that creature out – **_

"**Not your fault." She gasped each word out.**

"**Shush, don't strain yourself talking, and yes it is my fault that and the worst luck humanly possible." I looked up as the first pass of the machine finished. The monster was taunting me to pacify my wife while it planned.**

**Bella rolled her head from side to side. "Wrong on both." **

**The electronic images were coming through on the monitor. "Looks like the lower rib." I told her.**

**She nodded, frowning at the pain.**

"**I can't give you a pain killer, anything strong enough to help would also be strong enough to adversely affect your heart," Carlisle started to prepare the bandages. "All I can do is tape the area, you'll need to take deep breaths and cough often—that will keep the bone in place and speed up the healing process."**

"'**Kay."**

**I watched her eyes dull at the prospect of the recovery process. Although, she'd had broken ribs before, due to the attack by James—because of me; she'd had plenty of pain medication. This time, she would have to suffer through. The monster wanted death and if I did not give it the life-sucking leech, it would seek out Bella as replacement. **

**Carlisle worked carefully treating the brake. He leaned her into a sitting position and quickly wrapped the bandages half way around her torso. I was amazed that he was able to wrap it tightly enough, considering her stomach was so large. "Would it be okay if we complete an exam?" He asked.**

**Bella agreed and Carlisle measured her stomach, noting that it grew about a centimeter a day. "Forty centimeters indicates full gestation for a normal pregnancy. It's probably as good a measure as any for yours." He seemed intrigued by her progression.**

**Her vitals were stable, although her heart was still working harder than usual. She had even gained enough weight to tip the scales over three digits again. Carlisle removed the IV and declared her fit enough to return to the couch. The monster found an opening, **_**get her alone**_**.**

"**I can take you to bed if you'd rather, it might be a little easier to stretch out" I offered. **

"**No." She whispered. Her breathing was less strained. "I've never watched the entire DVD." **

"**Would you like some popcorn too?" I gently picked her up, and cradled her close to my chest. She was still underweight but not as much as before.**

"**Can you help me stretch my legs?"**

**I leaned forward and set her legs down on the floor, shifting my hands to secure her from the front, under her arms.**

"**Bare foot and pregnant." She remarked, a blush crossed her face as she looked up at me. "Although, I can't see my feet."**

**I wasn't much in the mood to admire my wife's pregnant bruised body, noting that more broken bones were expected and the monster would devise a plan soon.**

"**You look wonderful." Rosalie said what I refused to say. "Seeing your feet is a bit overrated anyway."**

"**Unless you're as clumsy as I am." She chuckled a little, rocking her body back on the heels of her feet as she took a deep breath. The tape seemed to keep the broken rib in place, preventing her unnecessary pain, but not completely eliminating it.**

"**Carlisle, how will the baby get out of the membrane protecting it?" Bella asked. **

**My face turned to stone. She knew like the rest of us that the only way to pierce the fetus' sack was with something sharp like vampire teeth. There were only two of us capable of opening up the membrane without killing Bella and the fetus was not one of them.**

"**Vampire teeth are the only thing that can cut through it." Rosalie answered before Carlisle could respond. **

**I growled at Rosalie, her tact was impossibly irritating. **

**I read Carlisle's mind. **_**Stay calm, Edward. Bella needs to understand everything, Rosalie means no harm- she's never been able to sugar coat anything.**_

"**Rosalie's right, only vampire teeth can open the membrane surrounding the fetus." He was talking calmly, standing beside us, Bella's eyes on him.**

"**The fetus possibly has teeth strong enough to free itself, if not then I can open the sac." His confidence was frustrating. This plan would only work if the c-section were successful and in time to prevent the half breed from ripping Bella apart.**

"**Okay." She didn't seem to want to pursue the conversation any further, fantasizing that everything was peachy, I'm sure. She looked up at me, "I don't suppose you'd let me walk?"**

"**I don't think so Bella." She leaned up and placed her hands around my neck and I lifted her up and gingerly carried her to the main floor. I placed her feet tenderly on the floor and allowed her to adjust herself to sit on the couch. I looked to the door where Jacob was sound asleep, snoring. Alice was sitting next to him drawing on her sketch pad.**

**Bella reached her right arm behind her, braced against the arm rest, while Rosalie reached from behind the couch to catch her. Bella bent her knees and lowered her body to the couch. "Easy as pie." She said. "Speaking of pie, do we have any?"**

"**No, sweetheart-no pie, but I can make you a cobbler – your choice of fruit." I replied.**

"**Can I help? I feel like cooking." She turned her head towards Carlisle who was still examining Bella's condition through his extra-sensory eyes.**

"**Maybe," Carlisle answered. "You need to get some food energy in you first. Your blood is still a little anemic."**

"**Okay." She turned her head to me, smiling, "Edward, I'm thinking steak and cobbler."**

"**Sounds like you're trying to keep me busy in the kitchen."**

"**Actually, I'd really love to cook myself. I just don't think the doctor will let me." Her eyebrows moved together, contemplating. "Edward, I – I don't want to be apart from you, though." **

**I watched her emotions change along with her pulse. I looked at her and waited for her mood swing, seemed like the stronger her body got, the more emotions she was able to cycle through. The monster watched for an opportunity.**

"**Sweetheart, I'll stay close."**

"**You were too far away the last time something happened." Reminding me I was outside at the front door when the half-blood leech broke her rib.**

"**Be reasonable, Bella." I said evenly. Although I knew it was impossible right now, the hormones in her system were in control.**

**She looked up at me, tears began to glisten in her eyes, "I'm so sorry Edward, I don't know what I'm saying. You're right; you were just at the door."**

"**I'm fine-- don't worry about me, Bella. How about we get some food in your system and something to drink?" As quickly as it started, her solemn mood ended. The monster retreated.**

**Rosalie appeared with a cup, the smell of the blood seared my throat. "Here, Bella." Rosalie handed her the cup. "I'm here as well, everything will be just fine. Look the movie has started again, just lie back and relax- we don't want to upset the baby." Rosalie chimed in.**

**The words seemed to cause Bella to relax a little more. I sat down next to her and put my arm around her shoulder. She snuggled close to me, eyes focused on the movie. Esme appeared with a bowl of popcorn.**

**Bella watched the entire movie, finishing off the large bowl of popcorn and several cups of drink. She quietly cried at the end and announced, "I enjoyed that. Rose, you mind helping me to the bathroom?"**

"**Sure dear." Rosalie answered, quickly lifting Bella and carrying her to the bathroom.**

_**That's a good sign Edward.**_** Carlisle thought. "Her system seems to be adjusting well to the blood and food." **_**I think her chances of surviving are better now. **_

**I didn't respond, there was still a chance she wouldn't—that thing growing was dangerous to my wife. It was too soon to start celebrating, especially when the monster was still planning.**

"**I will need to talk with Jacob about the practicality of a hunting trip." **_**Jasper and Esme are thirsty. It might be a good idea for you and Rosalie to hunt before Bella has to deliver.**_

"**I'm fine. She doesn't want me to leave her. Rosalie should go--though I'm sure she won't."**

"**Well, I'll talk to Jacob about it when he wakes up."**

**On the way back from the bathroom, Bella noticed that Jacob was passed out asleep by the door and Alice sat next to him. **

"**Oh, Alice, I didn't see you there. How's your headache?"**

"**It seems to be better when I'm near Jacob."**

"**Yeah, Jacob does have a way to make one feel better."**

"**Alice?"**

"**Yes, Bella?"**

"**Does the baby have enough clothes to wear?"**

"**The UPS truck dropped off a delivery earlier today, would you like to see them?"**

"**No. maybe later." She looked at my emotionless face. "Rose can you sit me in that chair at the counter?" She wasn't giving anyone a choice. I looked over at Carlisle.**

"**I think it will be fine, as long as she stays in her seat and doesn't extend herself." Carlisle cautioned.**

"**You sure you don't want to rest first?" I asked.**

"**I'm starving, besides I've rested all day." **

**The sun was just setting as I went into the kitchen. As promised, Bella stayed in her chair and only helped with simple tasks. With the cobbler in the oven, I pulled the steaks out of the refrigerator that had been marinating. There was a sizzle when I placed them on the grill. It smelled like burnt leaves, but Bella seemed to warm to the smell.**

"**I wonder if Jacob will wake up when he smells steaks cooking." She asked. **

"**I don't think so; he was awake for almost forty hours. I think he is probably out for the next several hours." His snoring was a steady rumble in the other room, about as annoying as Rosalie's constant presence.**

"**I can't imagine why he's still around here. I haven't been the best friend to him, having him hang around and defend us."**

"**I'm grateful to him."**

"**Yeah, I'm glad he's here, but it would be nice if—I could stop hurting him. I guess when I'm changed; I won't see him for awhile. He'll probably be able to find his mate and imprint. I'll miss him though."**

**It was hard to keep up this conversation. Jacob, once a rival now an ally—I wanted the best for him, as long as he left my wife alone. I flipped the steak over and grabbed a plate. "He is still young."**

"**He said that **_**if**_** he imprints, the girl will have the ability to make a genetically superior werewolf." I was glad that he had not imprinted on Bella—that would have been horrendous for all of us.**

"**He can't fight heredity, Bella."**

"**Hey it sounds like you're defending him." She grimaced as that thing moved inside her. I knew she wouldn't want me to mention her pain.**

"**Well, he's not so bad. A little temper problem, but then again, who doesn't have a temper problem?"**

"**Esme." We both said at the same time.**

**I flipped the steak onto the plate and pushed it in front of Bella and she began to eat her food, slowly pausing in between only to continue our conversation on all things pregnancy unrelated. I hated it, the monster delighted in knowing that a plan would soon come forth that would end the discussion and take a life. **

**As soon as she finished her meal, Esme appeared in the kitchen to clean up. **_**Think I'll cook something for Jacob and them, just in case.**_

"**Bella, you've sat up for almost two hours, don't you think it's time for you to rest a little?" Esme asked.**

"**I guess I am tired." She answered, although minutes earlier she had refused the same offer when I asked. "Maybe, upstairs in our bed?" She turned to look at me, "**

"**You sure?" My eyebrow lifted as I tried to figure out what my wife was planning. She knew that Rosalie, would follow.**

"**Yeah." She looked around for Rosalie, "Rose, you mind helping me to the bathroom?"**

**Rosalie shot into the kitchen and had Bella in the bathroom within a matter of seconds. I could hear their conversation.**

"**Rose?" Bella called when they were alone in the bathroom.**

"**Yes?"**

"**Will you promise to take care of the baby, if I'm not able? I don't think Edward . . ."**

"**Don't worry, Bella. The baby is family and I'll care for it as if it were my own." I figured those were the words Rosalie had hoped to hear from Bella, and I didn't torture myself to hear her whether her thoughts were along the same line. **

"**Thank you, Rose. I'm not sure anyone else understands how much your help has meant to me."**

"**I'm glad I can help. You'd have done the same for me."**

"**Yes, I would have." Bella coughed, taking in much needed air. "Rose?"**

"**Yes?"**

"**I need to be alone with Edward tonight, but--he's still not happy about this."**

"**Don't worry, Bella, there's very little privacy in this house."**

**It was true. Even if I didn't read minds, I would be able to know all the activities in the house, our hearing and eyesight were better than the security system we had installed. Rosalie would be able to listen to Bella's heart and know when it changed location; not only that, if I carried her anywhere, Rosalie would hear my footsteps, no matter how quiet my attempt. But there was no guarantee that I wouldn't try.**

**Rosalie took Bella straight upstairs to our bedroom. I was right behind them as they entered. We hadn't been in the room in several days. The smell of the Island lingered in our room from our unpacked luggage. **

**Rosalie helped Bella in bed and once she was satisfied that Bella was settled, Rosalie glared at me. "She better be well rested in the morning and pregnant or there will be trouble to pay." She swayed her hips out of the room. I blocked her thoughts as she left.**

"**How are you feeling?" I went to the bed and took her hand.**

"**My arms sure could use a husband in them." **

**I gently lay back on the bed and scooted next to her. She threw her left arm over my chest and placed her head near my shoulder. The large mound of her belly seemed to be a wider divide than just physical. She would have to sleep around it.**

"**Edward?" **

**I knew this was it, she had done the same thing to Esme, Carlisle, Alice even Rosalie – start out simple then trapped us into whatever she wanted.**

"**Yes?" I had no choice but to follow.**

"**What time is it?"**

"**It's a little after 9:30 p.m."**

"**Is Jacob still sleep?"**

"**Yes." I could hear his snores on the floor before. I didn't want to talk about Jacob though.**

"**You still think he'll sleep all night?"**

"**Probably."**

"**Let's make him breakfast?"**

"**What did you have in mind?"**

"**The usual, eggs, bacon—maybe even some of those homemade rolls you made for me on our honeymoon?"**

"**I think I can do that."**

"**You know what else sounds good?"**

"**Hmm"**

"**Pickles." She yawned.**

"**Pickles?"**

"**Yes in egg salad."**

"**Really?"**

"**Maybe a few chips."**

"**You want me to go get them for you, now?"**

"**Maybe, as a midnight snack. I think I need to go to sleep now." As if to prove her point, she yawned.**

"**Would you like something to drink?"**

"**How long will it take?"**

"**Maybe two minutes if I go, less than that if we ask Rosalie, she's perched outside the door."**

"**Please Rose?"**

**I heard Rosalie swoosh downstairs to the library and within seconds she returned with a cup and straw. She handed it to Bella, who quickly finished it off. **

"**Would you like more?" Rosalie asked**

"**No, thank you. I'm going to sleep now. Good night Rose."**

"**Good night Bella, see you in the morning."**

"'**Kay." Bella closed her eyes and relaxed. I held her all night, through her broken sleep. The fetus seemed quieted so Bella was able to fall into random moments of deep sleep, the monster continued to plot. **

**She did not wake up for a midnight snack, although Esme had prepared the egg salad just in case. **

**I waited for Bella to talk in her sleep, but words never came—just groans. Every move caused her pain and her unconscious could not stop what her conscious thoughts would have prevented. The moans and pain continued throughout the night and I was helpless to stop it. As the hours went by, the monster began a new plan to rid the half-breed from my wife's body.**

**There wasn't much time left to save her. I had to convince everyone that it was time to deliver the life-sucking murderer. It had to be large enough to survive on its own by now.**

**After six hours, Bella started to wake, her pain evident by the tears running down her face. There was no way to know what was going on inside of the mound and I would not—could not allow it to rip her apart. She started to whimper.**

"**Bella, sweetheart." I shook her arm gently.**

"**Edward?" Her voice was cracked and weak.**

"**You're in pain, we need to--" I knew I had to take it easy. She would never agree but in her barely awaken state, she'd listen easier.**

"**Oh, Edward. What did I say?" She was more concerned as usual with what I'd heard rather than what she was going through.**

"**You've been crying and moaning most of the night, Sweetheart. I can't stand for you to be in pain like this. Please, Bella, it has to be big enough by now."**

"**I'm sorry." She shook her head, took a deep breath and grunted and placed her hand over my mouth. "I can't. As for the tears and moaning—it wasn't because of pain. I don't even remember any pain, except you waking me up from a very good dream." **

**Her cheeks turned red and I knew her dream was not one that I would be able to join in without causing everyone in the house major problems, including myself. She was distracting me.**

"**It's time to talk to Carlisle about this." I mumbled through her fingers.**

"**It won't matter. I'm strong enough to carry this baby for another couple of weeks and you know it."**

"**Unless it breaks more bones or worse—it delivers itself."**

"**Edward, I don't want to talk with you about this. I'm not going to risk the baby just because of a broken rib, and certainly not because you're uncomfortable." She moved her slender hand to my cheek. "The baby can't live without me—just like I can't live without you. Soon."**

**She was once again in control of me and the monster. It was difficult to resist her touch and reasoning. It wasn't easy to allow her this, but I'd long ago determined that she would always have a choice with me. I knew her desire would win out, but I would continue to force the issue.**

"**Now, you're all gloomy." Her hand went to tousle my hair. She leaned forward to kiss me but paused, her stomach too large to get any nearer. "Don't make me work for it."**

**My lips came to hers and pressed. The color had returned to a beautiful rose and there were no signs of dehydration. I touched her face, glad that it had filled in with her added weight. The thing she was carrying rolled and she placed her hand on her stomach—her lips still on mine.**

"**Time to eat." She murmured.**

"**Hmm." I said taking in her smell before I lifted her from the bed. "Bella, you haven't fooled me—I know when you're in pain."**

"**I can handle it. Bathroom first." She gave me a faint smile and I carried her to the door. "Rose?"**

**Rosalie flew into the bathroom ahead of us. I set Bella on the floor, just outside the bathroom and she waddled through the door, holding her stomach with one hand, while Rosalie held her other hand. "I can really tell my sense of balance has changed, it seems more sure."**

**Emmett, who had been waiting with Rosalie, chuckled.**

**The house was still full of activity. Emmett began cleaning up the game that he and Rosalie had been playing. Esme and Carlisle were in their room, talking quietly. Jacob was still asleep on the floor and Alice was nearby on the computer, while Jasper stared at Alice's work.**

"**How'd you sleep?" Rosalie asked Bella.**

"**I feel rejuvenated, but I'm hungry and thirsty."**

"**That's good. How's the baby?"**

"**Same as me, I'm sure. Rested and hungry."**

"**Well let's get something for you two to eat." **

**When the bathroom door opened, Bella was wobbling through it, Rosalie stood behind, holding onto Bella's arms. It hadn't been five minutes, and I was ready to kill Rosalie for encouraging my wife's insanity. Today, I'd keep Rosalie at bay. Maybe enlist Jacob, now that we didn't have to worry about an attack.**

"**Care for a lift, Mrs. Cullen?" I asked.**

"**Guess you don't trust me to walk down on my own, huh?"**

"**Consider me your own personal elevator." I felt her hand slip over my shoulder and I lifted her into my arms, making sure her stomach and side were not jarred. I carried her down the stairs and placed her in the same chair she sat in the night before; a filled cup of warm liquid was already on the counter for her.**

**Within minutes, the cinnamon rolls set rising on the counter covered in cheese cloth. I quickly shredded cheese and chopped mushrooms for omelets. I emptied a dozen eggs into a bowl and began mixing, while the bacon was sizzling on the stove. I heard Seth approaching the house, just as I placed the cinnamon rolls into the oven. **

_**Okay, Leah, I see the lights are on. I'll go check—I bet he just fell asleep and didn't phase back.**_** Alice greeted Seth at the door, hearing his human footsteps on the porch. **

"**Hi, Seth." Alice trilled. "Would you like breakfast?"**

"**Oh, I just came to check on Jacob. Leah was worried."**

"**Well, he's been asleep since yesterday." Alice said pointing to Jacob's unconscious body, snoring. "You're welcomed to stay for breakfast; Bella says Edward makes the best omelets."**

"**Thanks, I'm kind of hungry." Seth said as he walked into the house and rounded the wall into the kitchen. He wore a pair of Emmett's old pants and shirt.**

"**Great more dogs," Rosalie grumbled.**

"**Hey guys!" Seth greeted us. His cheerfulness seemed to warm the kitchen more than the oven filled with rolls.**

"**What would you like in your omelet, Seth?" I asked. It was relaxing to keep my hands busy with activity.**

"**I'm starving, so—everything you got!" He answered cheerfully.**

**I placed a third skillet on the stove to heat. I poured Bella's cheese and mushroom omelet into a skillet and flipped the bacon onto a platter. After a few minutes the first omelet was completed and on a plate in front of Bella. She ate quickly and looked as if she would eat a second omelet. Seth's omelet was finished next and I placed it on a plate along with several slices of bacon.**

"**Hey you mind if I take this one out to Leah?" He asked.**

"**No problem. The rolls should be done, so we can put a nice one on for her too." I quickly pulled the cinnamon rolls out of the oven and placed one on the plate. Seth was out the door with the warm smell of cinnamon, just as Esme joined us in the kitchen.**

"**I see Seth has taken us up on our offer."**

"**He took a plate out to Leah, I don't know if she'll accept it, but it's the best we'll be able to do." I told Esme.**

"**Well, I won't give up trying." Esme said. "How are you feeling today Bella?"**

"**Great. I'm full." She gave a little smile just as she shivered.**

"**That's wonderful. So if you're finished, let's get you to the couch so you can put your feet up." Esme suggested. "Edward, I'll finish up in here."**

**I followed my mother's advice and went to help Bella to the sofa in the great room. I gently laid her down, when Carlisle came in and glanced quickly to review her condition.**

"**How are we today Bella?" It was clear that her body was tolerating the new diet much better. **

"**I'm fine." She answered. I rolled my eyes and let out a puff of air.**

"**Carlisle, she's in pain. She was hurting most of the night, but she was able to get some much needed deep sleep. I'd venture to say, she's trying to be a trooper, for our sake." I said it with more coldness than intended.**

"**Bella, I need to know how you're doing. Suffering in silence is probably the worst thing you can do right now. Any change no matter how insignificant you think it may be, is an important indication that can help me save you and the fetus. Now, how are you doing?"**

**I could tell Bella was hesitating; she began to nibble on her lower lip. "Well, my side does hurt, not as bad as yesterday, and only when I move too quickly. Aside from that and the obvious, I'm really cold." She began to rub her stomach.**

"**Well, even though your heart sounds stronger, I think we should still hold off on pain medicine. As for the chill, I imagine a couple of things are going on here. First your body is still trying to adjust to the amazing changes going on, so I'm not surprised by the temperature changes. Secondly, we need to get more iron into your system. And lastly, you've got adrenaline overload, if you relax—the chills will most likely go away." Carlisle said.**

"**Well, I'll stay on the couch the rest of the day and do nothing but eat, sleep and relax."**

**I sat down on the floor facing Bella after placing a few blankets on her, when Seth walked back into the house. I knew from experience that she'd only get colder if I touched her. Rosalie was standing behind the couch, hovering with a fresh cup of warm blood. "This should warm you up some." She said as she handed it to Bella.**

**It didn't seem to bother Seth that Bella was drinking blood. **_**She looks so much better than what Jacob showed us yesterday. I guess drinking blood is a good thing, cause she is better. Even Edward is looking better. **_

"**Seth, you mind sitting with me?" Bella asked. "Edward has all these blankets on top of me and I can hardly move, you werewolves are better than a heater."**

"**No problem." Seth sat down on the couch and Bella began to warm up almost immediately. Esme brought him a plate of food and he ate with one hand, while the other was around Bella's shoulders.**

**Esme took a look at Jacob. **_**He looks so uncomfortable.**_** Before I could stop her, she had placed two fluffy pillows under Jacob's head. **_**That should make him more comfortable.**_

**I moved to a seat on the other side of Bella. Thanks to Seth's warmth, I could touch my wife again. I quickly picked up her hand, bringing my lips to it. She shifted the cup between the two of us and sat watching the television, nothing in particular—I watched her. **

**Another good thing about having Seth near Bella was that Alice was able to join us. **_**I'm happy Seth is here, I've missed you and Bella.**_** Bella and I both welcomed Alice near us. Unfortunately, Seth wasn't able to run off Rosalie. **

"**How's breakfast Seth?" Alice asked.**

"**It's better than deer!" His laugh was rich and filled the room. It was hard not to smile with him.**

_**What the hell?**_** Jacob startled awake. He didn't seem too happy that Seth was sitting with us, well with Bella. He eyed Seth's arm.**

"**Hey, Jake's coming around!" Seth was happy to see his Alpha leader awake.**

"**He came to find you." I said in hopes of calming Jacob down. "We convinced him to stay for breakfast."**

"**Yeah, Jake—I was just checking to see if you were okay 'cause you didn't ever phase back. Leah got worried. I told her you probably just crashed human, but you know how she is. Anyway, they had all this food and, dang," He turned to me. "man, you can cook."**

**I thanked him and watched as Jacob continued to stare at Seth's arm on Bella. I really wasn't pleased that he felt possessive over my wife, but then I understood that he felt just as protective of Bella as I did and figured it was his responsibility if Bella needed help—not Seth's.**

"**Bella got cold." I told him in reply to his concerns. Seth removed his arm and Jacob moved closer to the rest of us.**

"**Leah running patrol?" He asked.**

"**Yeah, she's on it.' Seth answered. "No worries. She'll howl if there's anything. We traded off around midnight. I ran twelve hours." **_**I'm good!**_

**Jacob realized that he had slept a lot longer than he had planned. "Crap. Sorry about that, Seth. Really. You shoulda kicked me awake." **

**I stopped listening to their conversation. Her stomach began to shift and the movement was causing her pain. I could see her face twitch.**

"**How's the rib?" Jacob asked.**

"**Taped up nice and tight. I don't even feel it." She answered. **

**I was totally exasperated at how easily she blew off her pain. It wasn't right. She knew she was in pain. She traded witty jibs with Jacob, while I continued to monitor her condition. At least the friendly bantering will take her mind off of the pain. **

**The longer we sat around waiting for that beast to grow and kill, Bella; the sicker the monster became with its plans. I looked around at my family, our family and wondered how can we declare that we love Bella if we don't stop this madness. Love doesn't hurt! From the moment I touched her—to now, my love was insufficient to protect her. **

**I heard my name called and looked up at Carlisle speaking to Jacob. They seemed to be discussing a hunt and wanted me to go in order to protect against Sam's pack tracking our family. I glared at them—how can they think I would leave her? This thirst of mine was insignificant to her pain—I wasn't leaving! I wasn't even going to entertain their conversation.**

**I turned back to Bella, her forehead was wrinkled: worry. She was concerned about us, when she needed to focus on staying calm and relaxed. **

**I wanted everyone out of here. I looked up and no one seemed to move. In fact, Esme came back into the room with food. She offered it to Jacob. I didn't want to listen to anyone's thoughts. My wife was dying and no one was going to stop it—not even me. The monster was an utter failure, having not created a plan.**

**Bella called to Jacob as he headed for the door. Her voice the only real thing, I could hold onto. "Will you come back later, Jake?"**

"**Uh, I don't know." He said anxiously. He didn't want to face more hospitality and the guilt that it was bringing him. **

"**Please? I might get cold." Bella begged. She wanted him near and I couldn't deny the happiness it brought her. I nodded my head to him, hoping he noticed and would feel comfortable enough to return when Seth relieved him in six hours.**

**Jacob was in fact, by birth, legend and creation the sworn enemy of every vampire. He was our natural enemy. But now the lion became friends with the hyena-no longer mortal enemies, but protectors of the lamb; that arrogant lion, gullible hyena and gentle lamb, sharing the same one hundred square feet. **


	13. Chapter 13 Calm Or Storm

**Yeah another 6 hours not tied to anyone else's point of view. Let's see how Edward handles this. And I don't own these characters and dialogue and would gladly sign a release to Stephenie Meyer. **

**Seth finished his breakfast and Alice took his plate in the other room. He started to leave but Alice encouraged him to stay a little while longer, so did Bella. It was easy to understand why they wanted him to stay, he was young and optimistic, full of life and easy to get along with. **

**Seth thoughts never betrayed his actions. Although the smell of vampires bothered him, he never complained – he felt it was just something that was a part of who we were just like our skin and diet. There was no need to hold those differences against us, therefore, he was very comfortable sitting with Bella and a house full of vampires. Had he been in wolf form, then his basic instincts would have made it more difficult to handle those differences, but he would have overcome them.**

"**Why don't you all just leave now, not stick around for an attack?" He asked, not because he was tired of being around us but because it was safer for us.**

**I answered him as directly as possible, "Well, Carlisle has the medical supplies and credentials to access supplies available here in Forks. It takes time to build up and set up those same professional relationships in other places."**

"**I guess that makes sense, but you can always take that stuff with you or have it delivered wherever you go, right?**

"**Yes, but there is a lot of equipment that would have to be moved; and there isn't really enough time to get it all set up." I looked over at Bella, she had dozed off to sleep. Her stomach trembled with the movements of the half-breed killer. She was sweating a little around her brow. I gently wiped off the moisture and moved my arm around her shoulder and Seth automatically knew to withdraw his. **

"**But you can always steal the stuff or buy it—with enough money, you can have it all set up probably in a day."**

"**Your concern for us is very kind Seth." I looked straight ahead, knowing I had to give him the ultimate reason why we would not leave. "Bella isn't really in any condition to be moved. The fetus is very active."**

**As if on cue, she began to moan. Her entire stomach changed shapes from one large mound to an elongated oval. As the arch of the oval formed at the top of her stomach, I heard a crack on the same side as before. I called for Carlisle just as Bella's face lost all color and she began to pant out muffled cries.**

"**It's another break, possibly the same rib bone." I told Carlisle as he came to the couch.**

"**I. think. Edward. is. right." She said slowly, in between shallow breaths. Tears began streaming down her cheeks.**

"**Let's get you upstairs and take an X-ray." **_**There really isn't much we will be able to do for her, if it's the same rib. It's almost better if it isn't.**_

**Rosalie and Alice moved away from the couch and I lifted Bella from her seated position. I gently rolled up the blanket to place in between my body and her broken ribs. She gritted her teeth, refusing to let out her cries of pain. "Bella, I'm so sorry, but I'd feel better if you'd just release your anguish."**

**She didn't respond, instead she laid her head against my neck and cried silently. Her tears quickly covering my t-shirt. I held her closer to me, hoping the pressure would keep her side better formed and help her to breath.**

**The X-ray machine made its passes and sure enough it was the tenth rib, same as before. The break was an extension of the first, but still a hairline fracture. Carlisle taped it again and Bella was able to breathe normally.**

**I took her back downstairs to the couch, but she wanted to take a moment in the bathroom. I placed my wife in Rosalie's arms, careful not to listen to Rosalie's thoughts. **

**I resisted the childish urge to make a snide remark to Rosalie, but she had no qualms with irritating me. "Bella, don't feel badly about this, pregnant women often crack ribs during the last month. Everyone knows that." She shut the bathroom door a little harder than necessary, jarring me from the growl that was rising in my throat. I promised myself that the next stupid remark would cause Rosalie to lose a limb-Esme would just have to forgive me.**

**I could hear Emmett and Jasper upstairs discussing the myths that they found on the Internet. They were the same ones, I'd reviewed when I first became a vampire and rejected when we were on Isle Esme. **

**The thought of Isle Esme reminded me of the wonderful solitude my wife and I shared. My precise memory brought forth images of Bella and me in our own perfect world lounging on the speedy yacht. It seemed like years ago rather than weeks. "Alice?"**

"**Yes?" She trilled. It was weird to have to have her answer uncertain of the question. I was so use to her thoughts being several minutes ahead of mine.**

"**Is the wedding DVD finished?"**

"**Oh, yes!" She flitted up the stairs and returned with a white ribbon wrapped around the jewel case. "This will lighten everyone's mood."**

**I raised an eyebrow, uncertain if she was seeing the future or wishing it so. "Is Jasper going to join us?"**

"**No." Her quick answer told me that I had not been very observant to the members of my family. I quickly reviewed their thoughts, starting with Jasper. **

**Jasper was searching the Internet trying to find any stories of strange animal attacks on pregnant women. He was intense with his concentration. **_**Control the thirst,**_** he thought over and over again. I was grateful that Seth's smell masked Bella's scent, and Jasper purposely was not listening for her heartbeat.**

**Emmett had just finished a game of on-line poker while reviewing every fiction work related to vampires. He wasn't having much success.**

**Carlisle was in his office with several books opened to various chapters on pregnancy. A couple of the books looked rather ancient and the illustrations were disconcerting, showing various complications with pregnancy.**

**I found Esme sitting on the couch in Carlisle's office, looking over her latest renovation project. She was going through all of our faces, like she was turning a page in a book. Each page made her stop and smile or giggle, but in my case she was pensive and for Bella she looked proud. I knew it was unpleasant for Esme to see us in such despair, but I could not deal with it now. **

**I took the DVD and placed it in the player, just as Bella was returned to the couch. She rested on her side, pulling her feet up around her. A blanket was placed over her and Seth sat on the floor in front of her, with his back against the front of the sofa and his arms stretched across. He fell asleep immediately. **

**Esme came down the stairs and went into the kitchen. She fixed a plate of egg salad and chips, along with a cup of O positive for Bella. **

**I handed the remote control to Bella. "I think you'll like this movie."**

"**What is it?" The corners of her lips curved up to a slight smile. As she took the plate and drink from Esme. "Another musical?"**

"**No, a love story" I said. **

**She pushed the forward button and the opening lines began to a tune she recognized immediately--**_**Bella's**__**Lullaby**_**.**

"**I hope you don't mind that I played it." Rosalie said to Bella, "it seemed the perfect song for the beginning."**

**There were many pictures of Bella as a little girl and from the different schools she had attended. I had never seen the photographs before and I knew that no matter when I would have met her, even if she were six years old, I would have loved and waited for her.**

**There were exactly six pictures of me. The first was when I was an infant, stretched out, my tummy on a white rug, naked-a standard picture during the early 1900's. The second and third pictures were family pictures when I was five and ten respectively. The fourth was a school photograph from my eighth grade graduation, my green eyes and crooked smile evident. The last two pictures were photographs of me playing a piano on two separate occasions, my first recital and my high school senior performance. Although I loved music, and my mother wanted me to pursue a career in it, I wanted to fulfill my patriotic duty and join the armed forces.**

**Pictures then began of Bella and me together. We both gasped as we saw a picture of us in the meadow on our first date. I'd known that Alice was there, but I didn't realize that she'd taken pictures.**

**Bella pressed pause on the remote control. "Okay . . . how did that picture get taken?"**

"**I was there for moral support." Alice said. "Edward was so nervous about taking you there alone that I agreed to chaperone. He really didn't need me though."**

"**I didn't know you had a camera either." I added.**

"**Well, I knew we would need pictures from the first date."Alice chirped.**

"**It wasn't exactly our first date though," Bella corrected. "We had had dinner together in Port Angeles a few days before."**

"**Doesn't count. That was just a coincidence." Alice countered.**

"**Counts for me!" I said.**

"**Me too." Bella agreed.**

"**Oh just watch the DVD." Alice said in her high pitched voice, faking annoyance. **

**Bella obeyed, pressing the play button and the next picture was us at the restaurant, leaning close together over the table. It was our "coincidence" date. Bella giggled, there was no need to ask how that picture was taken. **

**More still pictures continued of the two of us, many taken for Bella's senior scrapbook. The last picture was the two of us sitting in the ancient cedar tree in our backyard. Bella was in a white summer dress, she had her back to the tree trunk and her bare feet dangled below the branch, while I sat stride the branch, facing her in a white shirt and jeans. Both of us were in the middle of a full belly laugh, our mouths wide with joy. Her head was facing up, cheeks rosy and her hair to the side. I was leaning forward with my eyes on her, my hands braced against the tree trunk. You could almost hear the laugh coming from the picture.**_** Bella's**__**Lullaby**_** ended and the background faded to black with a white rose phasing into view. The video paused.**

"**Edward, what were we laughing about?" Bella asked as she readjusted her body so she could sit up to face me. Her face grimaced, Rosalie was there assisting.**

"**I'll tell you later." I got up from the foot of the couch and went to sit next to her. I picked up her hand and kissed it. She looked at me and smiled. **

"**I remember." A rose color covered her cheeks. "It was a very good laugh."**

"**Yes, it was." I said, leaning over to kiss her cheek.**

"**Oh, come on now." Alice teased, "aren't you all going to share."**

"**No." We both said in unison. Bella pressed the play button and videos of the wedding rehearsal and dinner began. Everyone chuckled when Bella lifted her hand to close my mouth as I gawked at her beauty in the black dress. We weren't surprised to see video of Bella and me sitting at a piano later that evening.**

**There was quiet reflection as the wedding ceremony played. After the traditional activities, we saw all of us sitting in the great room staring out of the back window at Bella as she danced with guests and the picture faded to her dancing with me. **

"**I never knew I could dance so well." She said.**

"**I did." I answered.**

**Too soon the video ended with still photos of us departing for our honeymoon mixed with comments from our guests.**

"**I don't suppose you all have pictures from your honeymoon to add to the DVD?" Rosalie asked.**

"**A few." Bella answered, "But I think we left the camera on Isle Esme." Bella turned to look at me. I shrugged my shoulders, I wasn't sure if I packed the camera—too distracted. **

"**Too bad." Rosalie replied. **_**It would be nice to have pictures of the two of you pregnant too.**_** Rosalie thought. **

**I resisted the urge to kick Rosalie in her head. But I remembered it was my fault for listening to her vile thoughts. **

"**I think I'll call Charlie." Bella announced.**

"**Honey, that's not a good idea." I answered.**

"**But, I am doing better and he is so worried, he called twice yesterday."**

"**And we will give him an update today."**

"**He needs to know that I'm going to be fine."**

"**You don't know that Bella." I tried to speak evenly, so as not to upset her with her fantasy.**

"**I know Alice has seen me as a vampire, and I have faith in her vision, even if it is all blurry right now." She countered.**

"**I'll let my dad know I'll have a long recovery somewhere out of the country and in a year after I finish being a rookie vampire. Then when he sees me he can guess or imagine anything he'd like—never explaining to him the truth, because he won't guess it. Our family doesn't follow traditional vampire myths. It can happen the same way it happened when Jacob wasn't allowed to tell me and I had to guess his secret. It will keep Charlie safe. But I can still talk to him now. I miss him Edward."**

**I knew there was little chance that I would deny her anything, especially if it would make her happy. There was so little time left. I would handle Charlie and all of this later.**

**Seth woke up and moved to the other side of the room. He watched as Rosalie passed Bella a phone.**

"**Hi Dad." She said when he answered the phone.**

"**Bella!" The excitement was in his voice. I felt remorseful at the damage I was causing to his only child, knowing the pain it would cause him to lose her. I had broken my promise to bring her back safely.**

"**I'm doing better Dad, but not quite out of the woods yet." She told him.**

"**Where are you?" He asked frantically.**

"**I'm still out of town, the doctors here are doing everything to make me better and I think its working. Don't I sound better?"**

"**Well, yes. I'm just so worried about you. When will you be back in Forks?"**

"**It's a long recovery time Dad."**

"**Are they treating you alright then?"**

"**Yes, they've given me this weird liquid to drink--it's not too bad." She joked.**

"**Well, be sure to follow their instructions. I don't want to ground you again."**

"**I don't think my husband would put up with that too long." She chuckled.**

"**Is he treating you alright?"**

"**Yeah, he's wonderful, never leaves my side. I'm wondering if he doesn't have a career in medicine." She smiled as she said it, knowing that I'd already attended medical school twice and was in no hurry to go again. She was trying to distract Charlie.**

"**Well, he's too thin to be an athlete, so he'd better choose another career."**

"**Dad, he's a very good baseball player and quick." She countered, "but he'll never play like Phil." **

"**Probably not. Speaking of Phil, have you talked to your mother?"**

"**No." She hesitated. "You know the less Renee knows the better. I don't want to worry her unnecessarily. I am going to get better." She looked at me, her eyes insistent.**

**Right Bella I thought. That was a new born half breed vampire she was carrying. It would have no control; no reasoning and its only desire would be to satisfy its thirst. **

"**I miss you Bells." Her father said.**

"**I miss you too. I'll call you soon."**

**Her stomach began to lurch forward and she bent forward in pain, a muffled groan came from her lips and she dropped the phone.**

"**Sheeze." I muttered softly as I caught the phone before it fell. I would have to talk to Charlie—not good.**

"**Charlie, this is Edward." **

"**Edward?"**

**I talked slowly "Bella is in a lot of pain right now and the nurse is here to take her down for more tests. I've got to stay with her—so we'll call you back as soon as we know something." I hung up the phone before he could ask any questions. I'd have to apologize the next time I'd see him.**

"**Bella are you alright?" I was back to asking stupid questions again. The creature had given her a stiff punch and she had nearly passed out. I examined her quickly, noting that her blood pressure was normal and I didn't see any new trauma around her stomach. The pace of her heart had not changed.**

"**I'm okay." She began to rub her stomach. "The baby is just stretching." **

"**Do you want to lie down?"**

"**No, I'm fine—I think I better eat something though, that seems to calm the baby down."**

**Actually that made the life sucking leech stronger and more active. I looked around the room and everyone who had been on high alert, now relaxed.**

**I continued to hold her free hand and because she was now sweating, I placed my arm around her shoulders. I didn't take my eyes off her while she finished her drink, barely touching the plate of food.**

**I glanced at the television and saw a picture of us, in our wedding attire. Our entire family surrounded us, all of us were smiling. I looked away, not wanting to acknowledge the number of people I had disappointed.**

**Bella didn't want to sleep, she seemed like she was waiting for something. She entered the extra section on the DVD and found an icon for a game. The object was to answer the questions correctly in order to advance to the wedding night. **

**Bella, smiled. "Did you do this?"**

"**Yes, Emmett and I, it wasn't made for the DVD—it was just some fun we had a few days before the wedding." I wasn't in the mood for games and I'm sure I spoke coldly. I continued to watch my wife.**

"**Well this should be interesting."**

**She started the game and picked the bride avatar. The first question was an easy one '**_**Where was Edward born?'**_** It listed three cities, including London, England. She picked correctly, Chicago.**

'_**Which Shakespeare play is Edward's favorite**_**?' was the next question. Bella, picked Hamlet and got the question wrong. I whispered, "Ever since I saw you cry during Romeo and Juliet, it has been my favorite."**

**She successfully progressed through the next series of questions, all relating to me and was at the final round. I glanced at the question, and it had been changed from the one I'd originally written.**

"**Emmett" I muttered. "He changed the final question. It was supposed to be 'How long will Edward and Bella be together.'"**

"**Should I assume Emmett's riddle is a trick?"**

"**Probably."**

**It read. '**_**Edward has kept his for years, it's shorter than most men's, the pope doesn't use his and Edward gave Bella his after they were married?'**_

**There were no multiple choice answers.**

**Bella thought for several minutes. "It's definitely a trick but I'm not thinking straight. Anyone else want to guess?" **

"**Not me." I said.**

"**Fine, I'm not afraid of Emmett's humor." She entered the word 'car'.**

**An avatar picture of Emmett popped up "Wrong, wrong, wrong!" The avatar shook its head from side to side and then looked up. A drum roll began and the avatar announced the answer, "His name. Welcome to the family Bella Cullen!" Canned laughter followed.**

"**Not too bad, huh?" Bella smiled.**

**We could hear Emmett's booming laughter from upstairs. "It's not my fault you all have dirty minds!!" **

**It seemed as if everyone in the house was laughing, except me. They were way too cavalier. **

"**I think I need a bathroom break." Bella said. Rosalie was there and carried her to the bathroom. **

"**That's my funny man!" Rosalie grinned as she shut the door to the bathroom. **

"**Seth would you mind sitting with Bella for a few minutes? She has chills." I asked.**

**Carlisle hearing my request, came downstairs, "Did you say she has chills?"**

"**Yes, I was just about to call you. Over the last hour her body has gone from sweating to chilly several times." I looked at him.**

"**I'm not surprised. Her body is not compatible with the fetus, its attempting to regulate itself." Carlisle placed his hand to his chin. "I'm not finding very much information on this, Edward. Actually I haven't found anything."**

**I told him about Kaure and her legends of the **_**Libishomen**_**. I shivered at her comments that Bella and the half-breed beast were both doomed to death or should be killed.**

"**We'll figure something out Edward." Carlisle's words were meant for comfort.**

"**Seth, would you be so kind as to let Jacob know that we will need to pick up some more medical supplies for Bella from town."**

"**Not a problem, when do you need to get them?"**

"**As soon as possible, Bella's needs are decreasing the blood supply quickly. I need more on hand just in case."**

"**More blood?" Seth wasn't sure how the stores of blood were obtained.**

"**Carlisle's medical license allows him to purchase from the blood banks. It would cause too much trouble if we were to steal items."**

"**Yeah, that makes sense."**

**Esme came into the room, it was late afternoon and she started to cook. "Seth how about some steak?"**

"**Sounds good." Seth smiled. "I guess I'll eat and then go back on patrol."**

"**Seth, can you ask Jacob to stop by?" Bella came out of the bathroom. It looked like the fetus had changed locations again.**

"**Yes, please have him come by." Alice chirped in. "When you leave, I'll have to go back upstairs and I'm tired of hanging on the third floor—like the vampire bat in the belfry." **

**Bella sat up on the couch. She was fighting sleep. Her body was tired, but I guess she wanted to stay awake to see Jacob. It didn't make sense, but it made her happy and Jacob didn't mind being miserable around us.**

**Bella picked up the remote control and started playing the wedding game again—this time as the groom. Emmett didn't tamper with the ending so it was pretty boring for her—all the questions related to her. She continued to drink from her cup, she wasn't getting any better, but she wasn't any worse either, although her appetite for human food had waned.**

**She was fighting sleep. The half-breed leech was beating her from the inside and her body was exhausted, but she didn't want to sleep. Esme brought a plate of food in to Seth and for Bella as well. I tried to help her eat.**

"**Bella, your body needs the iron, please take a few bites." I was glad she cooperated, probably because the steak was cooked rare.**

"**It's really good."**

**I was hoping that her appetite would return. Soon she was asking for a spinach salad. Esme immediately complied. I again helped her to eat.**

"**Just cause you're feeding me doesn't mean I'm worse." She challenged.**

"**I know." I told her as I placed another forkful of food in her mouth. "Thanks for humoring me." **

"**I wonder if Jacob will come back."**

"**I'm sure he will."**

"**I don't know why he would, it just hurts him to be here."**

"**I think he enjoys torturing Rosalie." I answered, refusing to allow any gloating. I was wondering how I could sneak him a few dumb blonde jokes as well, but then I remembered that words would not satisfy my desire to dismember her.**

"**I wish he wouldn't, but at least you aren't fighting with either of them."**

**I froze. I looked in her eyes and shook my head. "You don't know what you're talking about Bella." **

"**Well, I know you and Jake are getting along better, but you and Rosalie aren't."**

"**You're right about Jacob and as for Rosalie, our relationship hasn't changed in eighty years, we don't fight." I was glad Jacob wasn't here to comment on my lying abilities.**

"**He's right Bella." Rosalie chimed in. **_**I've always thought of you as an idiot.**_

"**We feel the same way about each other." I agreed with Rosalie, she was an idiot, who I would gladly destroy . . . later.**

"**None of us has ever understood why the two of them don't get along." Alice chirped. "I gave up forty years ago. Esme is the only one who still tries to improve their relationship."**

"**You try too Bella." Esme said. "We are eternal optimist I believe—too much sibling rivalry, I suspect."**

**I gave Bella another forkful of salad and she chewed slowly. She was about to say something when the monster in side started torturing her body. All I wanted to do was smack the leech—reason would not allow, it would have caused more problems. She held her breathe through the thrashing and straightened her legs in hopes of creating more space.**

"**Breath, sweetheart." I attempted to help her with a calming voice.**

**Carlisle came into the room. "Is she having contractions?"**

**I looked at him as if he had lost his mind—how would we know???**

"**Bella, is this pain different?" Carlisle asked her. "Or does it feel the same as it did yesterday."**

"**The same," Bella panted. "There is pressure on my lungs but once the baby settles back down, I feel fine." The exhaustion was on her face, but there was optimism as well. There was sweat across her forehead. **

_**It's late, I'd better go or Jacob will have a fit. **_**Seth thought. "I'm going to go relieve Jacob so he can come back here. Bella I hope you feel better. Thanks for the food, Esme. It was good." **_**Edward—man, hang in there!**_

"**Thanks, Seth." I said, "Don't forget to ask Jacob to stop by and see Bella."**

"**I won't forget, but he'll come by even if I do." Seth left and I tried to keep his thoughts as long as I could. Alice also left the room, returning to the belfry.**

"**I want to give you a quick exam, Bella." Carlisle said as he started taking measurements, temperature and other vitals. "You seemed to have grown another couple of centimeters around your waist, but your weight has leveled off." He announced. "I really want you to keep eating as much as possible; you both need the extra nutrition."**

"**Edward seems to shove some food down my throat every two hours." She was still making jokes; I guess it helped that she could count the days left of this torture on one hand. I counted them as the last days of her life. She didn't have to do this.**

"**I'm still concerned about your heart. While you're asleep your heart doesn't have to work as hard. When was the last time you slept?"**

"**She slept for an hour earlier this morning." I answered.**

"**I'll go to sleep, soon."**

"**I think your body is trying to adjust to the rapid changes by fluctuating temperature. I know Edward and Seth were trading off to keep your temperature constant, they can keep doing that."**

"**Are you having any other problems?" Carlisle asked.**

"**Just going to the bathroom a lot."**

"**Well that's normal. Let me know if you have any more pain." Carlisle left the room to resume his research. **_**I found some of the ancient myths from South American Indians, you told me about. I've got to translate them before I know whether they will be helpful.**_

"**Thank you Carlisle."**

"**Bathroom break." Bella sang out, even though they had just returned. Rosalie and Bella were in the bathroom quick as a wink.**

**I sat on the couch with my hands covering my face and Esme's arms around me. I looked like a grieving man—my wife's body removed. My mother comforting me. **__**Jacob came into the house, noticed Bella was not around and was immediately frightened.**

**She's all right," I whispered. "Or, the same, I should say." I continued to cover my face. I was counting the days until this all would end. I was counting her heart beats. I ignored Esme's soothing embrace, I didn't want comfort. **

"**Hello, Jacob," Esme said. "I'm so glad you came back."**

**"****Me, too," Alice said coming down the stairs. **

**"****Uh, hey," Jacob said. **_**This showing manners to vampires is getting weird. **_**"****Where's Bella?"**

**"****Bathroom," Alice answered.**

**I heard Bella moan as Rosalie carried her out of the bathroom door. I listened to Bella's heart and it was working hard to push the excess blood to her and that monster she was carrying. Bella would be glad to see Jacob, but so was I, Bella would rest now.**

**"****Jacob," she breathed through the pain. "You came."**

**"****Hi, Bells." **_**She lit up like a Christmas tree, just to see me—why does she have to do that? It's not fair.**_

**I touched Esme's arm to help her off the couch so Bella could lie down. I watched Bella, her face wasn't filled with joy, but pain and she was holding her breath, as if she could suck up the pain in silence. Even Jacob noticed that she was trying to hide her suffering.**

**I wanted to take away the agony, but all I could do for now was to gently wipe away the frown across her pale forehead and push the stray hair behind her ear. The corners of her lips began to twitching; she was trying to distract me from noticing how cold she was. **

**"****Are you cold?" **

**"****I'm fine." **

**"****Bella, you know what Carlisle told you," Rosalie said. "Don't downplay anything. It doesn't help us take care of either of you."**

**"****Okay, I'm a little cold. Edward, can you hand me that blanket?" I already had the blanket in my hand and placed it around her legs, there wasn't much point in covering up her stomach. She pulled her legs up and I adjusted the blanket to cover her shoulders as well as her legs.**

**"Isn't that sort of the point of me being here?" Jacob offered.**

**"****You just walked in," Bella said. "After running all day, I'd bet. Put your feet up for a minute. I'll probably warm up again in no time."**

**Jacob needed an excuse to stay, so he sat on the floor. **_**She looks pretty brittle. **_**He thought as he tried to figure out an easy way to help keep her warm, finally he just placed his left arm along hers and held her hand while his right hand touched her face.**

**I went to sit on the arm rest near her feet. I wasn't sure why it didn't bother me that he was touching my wife. It just didn't, perhaps it was that his thoughts were focused on his hunger. I focused on my wife who was more content. **

**"****Thanks, Jake," Bella said, she was still shivering, but I could tell her face was warming—thanks to Jacob. She was relaxing. I started to count my wife's heart beats. **

**"****Rosalie, why don't you get Jacob something from the kitchen?" Alice trilled from behind the couch. **

**I saw Rosalie's head snap up and absently I heard her thoughts. **_**I do not fetch for dogs, if he's hungry let him eat outside, then again; maybe I should treat him like the dog he is!**_

**Jacob interrupted, "****Thanks, anyway, Alice, but I don't think I'd want to eat something Blondie's spit in. I'd bet my system wouldn't take too kindly to venom."**

**"****Rosalie would never embarrass Esme by displaying such a lack of hospitality." Alice replied.**

**"****Of course not," Rosalie agreed, sounding deceptively kind.**

**I saw the bowl Rosalie was planning to use and how she would change it into a dog dish. I sighed. Her behavior was unnecessary and I hope Jacob wouldn't leave offended.**

**"****You'd tell me if she poisoned it, right?" Jacob asked me.**

**"****Yes," I promised, I continued to read Rosalie's thoughts, as she banged the metal bowl. She didn't deviate from her original plan but she did add the word FIDO to the deformed bowl. I resisted the urge to smile and settled for a sigh. **

**Rosalie brought the metal bowl in filled with food and tossed it on the floor, like she was feeding a dog. ****"****Enjoy, mongrel."**

**Jacob was a bit impressed with the joke. "Thanks, Blondie." He began to eat the steak and potatoes. "Hey, do you know what you call a blond with a brain?"**

"**Boring," Rosalie said.**

"**A golden retriever."**

**"****I've heard that one, too," she said, smugly.**

**"****I'll keep trying," he promised. **

**I certainly hoped that he would keep trying, it was the only relief I had when it came to Rosalie. I wanted her to hurt, the way Bella was hurting. I looked over at Bella and she was still awake, her fingers started petting Jacob's hair. I remembered how he liked to keep his hair long, because he thought Bella liked him better with long hair, but now he knew it didn't matter. He wasn't enjoying her cold fingers in his hair like he would have before I married her. **

**"****Time for a haircut, huh?" Jacob asked her.**

**"****You're getting a little shaggy," she said. "Maybe—"**

**"****Let me guess, someone around here used to cut hair in a salon in Paris?"**

**She chuckled. "Probably." It was nice to see my wife still in a good mood.**

**"****No thanks, I'm good for a few more weeks."**

**I could see Jacob's concern over how much longer her condition would last. He wanted to be polite, but he hated the thing that was killing her almost as much as I did. ****"****So…um…what's the, er, date? You know, the due date for the little monster."**

**I looked away from her face. She wouldn't want to answer him with my hurt staring her in the face and she should be the one to tell him. He deserved to hear it from her. **

**"****I'm serious, I want to know how long I'm gonna have to be here." Jacob pressed.**

**"****I don't know," she murmured. "Not exactly. Obviously, we're not going with the nine-month model here, and we can't get an ultrasound, so Carlisle is guesstimating from how big I am. Normal people are supposed to be about forty centimeters here"—she ran her finger right down the middle of her bulging stomach—"when the baby is fully grown. One centimeter for every week. I was thirty this morning, and I've been gaining about two centimeters a day, sometimes more. . . ."**

**He did the math—about four days. **_**That is a hard pill to swallow. I'd thought there would be more time, but there isn't. Four days!**_** He didn't say anything and I couldn't look at him either. It was my fault. Bella might have hurt him, but I was killing him too. I deserved to die and he would be my executioner.**

"**You okay?" She asked him.**

**He didn't answer. He was trying to reconcile Bella's last days with him and his need to be around to watch her die. **_**It's not my imagination that my need for her is stronger than ever. Why is that?**_** Tears rolled down his cheeks and she wiped them away.**

"**It's going to be okay." She whispered.**

"**Right," He sounded defeated.**

**"I didn't think you would come. Seth said you would, and so did Edward, but I didn't believe them." I turned when she said my name. Her head was on his shoulder. I didn't want to see her touch him, but I wasn't angry that she was.**

**"****Why not?" He asked trying to distance his feelings for her.**

**"****You're not happy here. But you came anyway."**

**"****You wanted me here."**

**"****I know. But you didn't have to come, because it's not fair for me to want you here. I would have understood." Bella took a deep breath, she felt the pain. "Thank you for coming." **

_**Why can't I leave?**_** "****Can I ask you something?"**

**"****Of course."**

**"****Why do you want me here? Seth could keep you warm, and he's probably easier to be around, happy little punk. But when I walk in the door, you smile like I'm your favorite person in the world."**

**"****You're one of them."**

**"****That sucks, you know."**

**"****Yeah." She sighed. "Sorry." **

**I wanted to be invisible, give them time alone, to say the things that needed to be said. But I couldn't leave anymore than Jacob could. In fact, no one in the room would leave, we were all drawn there. All I could do was turn my face away. **

**"****Why, though? You didn't answer that."**

**"****It feels…complete when you're here, Jacob. Like all my family is together. I mean, I guess that's what it's like—I've never had a big family before now. It's nice." She smiled for half a second. "But it's just not whole unless you're here."**

**"****I'll never be part of your family, Bella."**

**"****You've always been a part of my family," she disagreed.**

**His teeth made a grinding sound. "That's a crap answer."**

**"****What's a good one?"**

**"****How about, 'Jacob, I get a kick out of your pain.'"**

**I heard her heart skip. ****"****You'd like that better?" she whispered.**

**"****It's easier, at least. I could wrap my head around it. I could deal with it."**

**I turned to look at my wife. She was hurting not just physically, but also from the pain she was causing Jacob. Her eyes were shut and she was frowning. **

**"We got off track, Jake. Out of balance. You're supposed to be part of my life—I can feel that, and so can you." She paused for a second without opening her eyes—she was fighting sleep "But not like this. We did something wrong. No. I did. I did something wrong, and we got off track. . . ." **

**She drifted off to sleep. Her voice trailed off, and the frown on her face relaxed until it was just a little pucker at the corner of her lips. **

**"****She's exhausted," I told him. "It's been a long day. A hard day. I think she would have gone to sleep earlier, but she was waiting for you." I placed a blanket over the goose bump arm that Jacob wasn't touching.**

_**Pretty crazy to let her talk to Charlie. It's just going to cause him more grief.**_

"**She thinks she's going to survive, Jacob. . . be able to see him from time to time, at least until he notices that she isn't aging." **

"**Insane." **

"**Yes, but I'm not going to make her unhappy now." I answered. I could not let her be unhappy under any circumstances. She was being beat up hourly by that monster growing inside of her, I wouldn't add to her pain.**

_**You don't expect her to live? Keep her happy for four more days, huh?**_

"**I'll deal with whatever comes. I won't cause her pain now." I didn't want to discuss this further. Her happiness was all I could give her now. I placed my face in my hands, too ashamed that I wouldn't stop anything that brought her happiness; be it Charlie's distress, Jacob's tortured unrequited love or a murderous child. She deserved her happiness.**

"**Four days?" He asked.**

"**Approximately."**

**"****Then what?"**

**"****What do you mean, exactly?"**

_**How does that thing get out? It's wrapped up secure inside of her.**_

**"****From what little research we've been able to do, it would appear the creatures use their own teeth to escape the womb," I whispered through my hands.**

**"****Research?" He sounded like he would be ill.**

**"****That's why you haven't seen Jasper and Emmett around. That's what Carlisle is doing now. Trying to decipher ancient stories and myths, as much as we can with what we have to work with here, looking for anything that might help us predict the creature's behavior."**

_**Stories? If there were myths, then…**_

**"****Then is this thing not the first of its kind?" I finished his thought. ****"****Maybe. It's all very sketchy. The myths could easily be the products of fear and imagination. Though your myths are true, are they not? Perhaps these are, too. They do seem to be localized, linked. . . ."**

**"****How did you find…?" **_**Where are these myths from?**_

**"****There was a woman we encountered in South America. She'd been raised in the traditions of her people. She'd heard warnings about such creatures, old stories that had been passed down."**

**"****What were the warnings?" Jacob asked.**

**"****That the creature must be killed immediately. Before it could gain too much strength."**

_**Just like Sam thought. Was he right?**_

**"****Of course, their legends say the same of us. That we must be destroyed. That we are soulless murderers."**

_**Two for two**_**. I looked up and laughed at Jacob. **

**"****What did their stories say about the…mothers?" He didn't pause.**

**He didn't know? Couldn't he figure it out? My face changed--agony ripped across my face—I put my hand over my face again. **

**It was Rosalie—who'd been so still and quiet since Bella'd fallen asleep that answered him. She was brutal and uncaring. "Of course there were no survivors," she said. "Giving birth in the middle of a disease-infested swamp with a medicine man smearing sloth spit across your face to drive out the evil spirits was never the safest method. Even the normal births went badly half the time. None of them had what this baby has— caregivers with an idea of what the baby needs, who try to meet those needs. A doctor with a totally unique knowledge of vampire nature. A plan in place to deliver the baby as safely as possible. Venom that will repair anything that goes wrong. The baby will be fine. And those other mothers would probably have survived if they'd had that—if they even existed in the first place. Something I am not convinced of." She sniffed disdainfully.**

**I looked up from my hands, that vile egotistical psychopath would be dismembered before she could put her sick plan into action. I clutched my fingers and moved forward into a crouch position.**

_**Allow me**_**, Jacob offered.**

**I agreed, reading his thoughts. Then he quietly lifted the doggy bowl off the floor and slung it forcefully across the room and hit Rosalie in the head. A loud bang was heard as the bowl smashed flat before it ricocheted across the room and snapped the round top piece off the thick newel post at the foot of the stairs.**

**"****Dumb blonde," He muttered.**

**Bella didn't move. I watched Rosalie turn her head slowly, her black eyes full of rage. She spoke slowly and maniacally, ****"****You. Got. Food. In. My. Hair."**

**Jacob busted up laughing so hard that tears ran down his face. Alice's tinkling amusement joined in. The laughing woke Bella up.**

"**What's so funny?" she mumbled.**

**"****I got food in her hair," Jacob told her in between his laughter.**

"**I'm not going to forget this, dog," Rosalie hissed.**

**"****S'not so hard to erase a blonde's memory," He countered. "Just blow in her ear."**

**"****Get some new jokes," she snapped.**

**"****C'mon, Jake. Leave Rose alo—" I stood up quickly, pulling the cover off as Bella broke off mid-sentence and sucked in a sharp breath. It was as if we'd given the monster instructions, and now it was following them. Her body trembled and her back arched off the sofa, I expected to see the creature ripping through her body. **

"**He's just," she panted, "stretching."**

**This was more than a stretch, her lips were white, and she was softly grunting back a scream. Her heart began to beat erratically and I placed my hands on either side of her face, she needed to focus on breathing. "Carlisle?" I called.**

**"****Right here," Carlisle's senses were examining Bella even before he touched her. **_**It's not time, Edward. The fetus is just stretching, like Bella said.**_

**"****Okay," Bella said, still breathing hard and shallow. "Think it's over. Poor kid doesn't have enough room, that's all. He's getting so big."**

**It was useless for me to feel anger and frustration over her sympathy for the monster that was beating and thrashing her from inside. Bella's loving tone and Rosalie's callousness made me want to . . . I stopped my silent rage as I heard Jacob think **_**I want to throw something at Bella to make her see reason.**_** Of course he wouldn't. I wouldn't allow it; I would understand if he did though.**

**"You know, he reminds me of you, Jake," she said—still gasping. Bella said ignoring the disgust on his face.**

**"****Do not compare me to that thing," He was angry and wanted no part of murdering her. **

**"****I just meant your growth spurt," she said explaining her affection. "You shot right up. I could watch you getting taller by the minute. He's like that, too. Growing so fast."**

**I didn't take my eyes off of my lunatic wife. She took an easier breath and then relaxed back into the sofa, her body going limp with sleep.**

**"****Hmm," Carlisle murmured. **_**Edward did you hear what Bella said-- similarities with Jacob.**_** I turned my head to Carlisle's thoughts. **

**"****What?" Jacob wanted to know.**

**"****You know that I was wondering about the fetus's genetic makeup, Jacob. About his chromosomes."**

**"****What of it?"**

**"****Well, taking your similarities into consideration—"**

**"****Similarities?" he growled.**

**"****The accelerated growth, and the fact that Alice cannot see either of you. Well, I wonder if that means that we have an answer. If the similarities are gene deep?"**

**"****You don't know that." Jacob countered.**

**"****No. But it's interesting to speculate," Carlisle said in a soothing voice.**

**"****Yeah. Just fascinating." Jacob's ended his discussion with us, no longer interested. **

**"****Twenty-four pairs," I understood. "Humans have twenty-two pairs for physical make up, the autosomes and the twenty third for determination of sex, the sex chromosome. But the fetus has an extra pair, just like Jacob. What's it for?" **

"**Well, it could mean that the fetus has only one vampire chromosome." Alice joined in the discussion.**

"**Yeah, but that wouldn't make sense, because now we know that vampires, well at least you Edward, are capable of reproducing—the somatic cells come from both you and Bella . . . " Carlisle corrected as he looked at me.**

"**Right. And with Edward providing half of the fetus' gene make up, we can surmise that it will have dominate vampire traits like skin, strength and digestive tract. The weaker human pairing would disappear or mutate." **

**Carlisle began to rub his chin.**

"**Well, what about that extra pair? If Jacob's additional set makes him transform, then isn't it reasonable to conclude that the infant has an unknown ability as well?" Alice pondered.**

"**No, it's extra pair makes it more vampire, less human. Look at how it is devouring Bella." I surmised.**

"**But don't you see Edward, the fetus is acting the same as it would if it was entirely human—it's needs are met first, a woman's body obeys that law of nature." Carlisle said.**

"**Unless the woman's body rejects the fetus," trilled Alice.**

"**But Bella's body hasn't rejected it, she has adapted to its needs. So maybe we should look at this on a more basic level. Consider that the fetus has the same lubricant that runs through our veins. If that were to cross into Bella's bloodstream what would happen?" I already knew the answer; it would immediately stop her heart. **

"**That is all the more reason for a c-section." Alice interjected.**

"**If we extrapolate further then the pair of chromosomes relating to growth has mutated." Carlisle continued to talk excitedly about the possibilities, but I was no longer involved. **

**Bella slept oblivious to the danger posed by the fetus. She'd consider our discussion was just pure conjecture. There was only one certain thing—that fetus would not stay inside forever. It had to come out and I knew exactly how Rosalie would get it "safely" out.**

**E/N Please comment, I've got 5 to 6 chapters to go and I'm losing interest and trying not to quit.**


	14. Chapter 14 Did You Hear That

I had been able to keep the monster at bay for the last several hours. I wanted to focus on loving my wife instead of killing the life-sucking leech that would kill her. I knew that monster's murderous desires were just below my surface of control though. Every time I looked at Rosalie, I had to manage it with feral growl, soon it wouldn't matter and Bella would be dead.

I looked around the room, longing that it was last summer, the summer before our senior year in high school. Our relationship solidified and our love grew. She'd taught me to love and made me more human than monster. I Bella only knew how much my human side was hidden, shadowed by the monster, she would have been so disappointed. Moreover, she'd hate me, but it wouldn't matter, soon she'd be dead.

I'd even settle for alone time but Bella wouldn't agree. It was late in the night and the long white sofa was the only place, she would rest, if that's what you could call it. There were too many interruptions to properly relax, but I was relentless in my efforts to find her some rest. Every time she went to the bathroom, I tried to talk her into spending a few hours resting in bed.

"I want to be near my family, Edward," she whispered.

"We can bring the bed down for you." I offered.

"No. I couldn't see you, me, six other vampires and Jake in the same bed." She giggled a little.

"We'd use the hospital bed, Bella." Her joke was lost on me. Her attempt at humor was as distressing as the growing disaster in her body. My own monster was ready to end the suffering caused by my poor decisions.

"I'm sorry—I'm just tired of you being all miserable. Can you give me a smile at least?" She asked.

"It's just hard to see you like this." I tried a small grin, but guilt made it something more like a smirk. "But you're not going to stop this are you?"

"I won't." Her eyes closed and she was very quiet. Her face was pale. I leaned forward and kissed her lightly on her lips and along her jaw line, noting her temperature. There didn't seem to be a pattern between the hot and cold spells.

"Don't worry about me, please. You know me better than anyone and you know I can't be less than melancholy when it comes to something that causes you pain. So, don't worry about me. It's more important that you rest." I moved back to my seat next to her, my arm resting to cool her sweating body. I rubbed her shoulders. Her heart was working overtime and the massive amounts of excess blood circulating through her system caused her blood pressure to lower and then rise. This was probably the cause of her chills, but the cause of her fever was unknown, hopefully it was benign.

"The heat reminds me of Isle Esme. You stay closer to me when it's warm." She murmured.

"Bella, please rest." She was talking non-sense. I stayed closer, because there was no place for me to be, where else was there for me to go? I would never be more than a stone's throw away from her, even when her life ended.

"Okay." Her hand was rubbing her stomach, but her eyes were on me. I held my eyes to hers, trying to be emotionless as she declared her love to the murderer. I hid the monster's growl with music.

"Sleep." I started humming and within seconds Bella was softly snoring. Over the next few hours, whenever she was cold I switched off with Jacob so he could warm her. Whenever I was not in contact with her, the monster was wide awake, planning.

Just before dawn, Bella's face was flushed, so I woke up Jacob to move away from her and took his place. I was certain he didn't get much rest leaning against the side of the sofa, but he never complained or refused to help. Jacob decided that he'd fought for rest long enough and thought it was time for him to run patrol and relieve Seth.

"I'm pretty sure that Sam considers the treaty dead and that it is open season on vampires. We'll try to figure out how thin Sam is willing to spread his forces, whether he is looking for stray Cullens poaching on their land or not?" He outlined the trails he would follow.

"Thank you, if the route is clear, they'll go today."

"I'll let you know." He answered as he left the house.

"Back to the attic," Alice chirped as she flitted up the stairs. _Edward, I'll take a look at the future when we go out hunting. Hopefully, being away from here will make things easier to see._

"Thanks, Alice." I puffed at the irony of the entire situation. This human girl turned my life into something of value. I had nothing, no one and no place. In return I am making her life end horribly. I blew out more air, certain that Bella wouldn't see it this way.

And as if I were predicting the future, Bella was awakened with a new horrible pain. She pulled her legs away from her stomach and the blanket fell to the floor. Bella turned her face into the sofa cushions and let out a muffled grunt as the creature turned inside of her. "Breathe, sweetheart," I said softly, while my monster considered the time it would take to sweep her away to the make shift operating room, barring the door and removing that horrid creature.

I heard the air enter her nose and her body relaxed as best it could. She had control of her limbs once again and she was able to speak, obviously the sharp pain had subsided. "I'm okay, just stretching."

Anger enveloped my monster and it groaned that Rose was too alert to allow its plan fruition. "Bella, stop trying to hide what's going on, we can't help you if you won't tell us what's going on." My own stupid words assaulted me, I knew what was going on – it was torturing her and I was helpless to stop it and so was that inept monster who resided in me.

"It's over, Edward." She turned her head to me, her eyes glistening from the tears that had just ceased. "The baby was just moving and . . . he's settled now."

Rosalie came closer to Bella, "Of course, it's over now. Babies are supposed to move around and it's only uncomfortable for a little while. Would you like something to drink?"

My hands forced themselves to touch Bella, instantly calming the monster's desire to pull Rosalie apart with them. I looked up to see Carlisle come into the room and stand sideways by the window, seeming to look at the sun rise over the meadow of our backyard, actually observing Bella. _She's as well as can be expected, Edward, I believe it will be a couple more days before we will have to worry about a delivery, so try to relax._

I picked up the blanket and covered her back up. Rosalie placed the cup of blood in Bella's hand and Esme handed me a plate of food for Bella. I kneeled in front of the couch and turned to look out of the window, the morning sun rays lined the room and it had already been a long day.

I was able to get Bella to eat some of the food Esme fixed. It seemed that the larger that mound grew the more her desire for food diminished, but she did her best to eat. "How about a bowl of cereal?"

"This is fine." Bella opened her mouth for another bite of high protein pancake. Esme had started adding extra fats and supplements to Bella's meals. 'We've got to keep some meat on those bones,' Esme had said. She'd even added appetite enhancers to the cups of blood.

This was the third time that Bella had allowed me to feed her, the first was on our wedding day. It was an intimate moment for us both, although, she wasn't much for being pampered – always the one taking care of others. I was amazed at how this feeding made me feel—needed. The trauma surrounding us was a little further away during this time and then it occurred to me that even though I was feeding her, she was taking care of me. She knew I'd find some comfort in this simple task. I shook my head and sighed.

"What?" Bella asked.

"Nothing, really." I lied, there was no need to acknowledge my understanding of the gift she'd given to me, I'd let it comfort her. "I like how your face is filling out again."

"Between you and Esme, I'll be forty pounds overweight before long." She joked, another mouthful sliding down her throat. "I like this recipe; I'll have to cook Charlie some."

"I'm sure Esme will be glad to give you the recipe."

"Think I'll give him a call later today." She looked around the room for the first time since the sun had risen. "Where's Jacob?"

"He went on patrol and to check the routes to determine if it's clear enough for hunting."

"When will you go?"

"_They_ will go as soon as Jacob gives the all clear signal." I knew I could withstand another week, besides if I were to lose control, only Rosalie would suffer.

"You really should go hunting, Edward. You haven't been since the honeymoon." She hadn't missed my emphasis that I was not leaving, she said sternly.

"It was a very big meal." I attempted to provide reassurance, there was no chance I would leave her, there would be time to feed, but not time with her. I shook my head, I had messed up our lives so royally.

"I shouldn't be the only one eating, would you like a sip?"

"No." My face lost its composure at the possibility that I would take nutrition from her; I'm sure she was joking, attempting to coax a smile.

"Lighten up, Edward." She gave me a little grin. "It's not like anyone was killed for it."

"Are you done eating?" I returned a grin, the only thing I could do to make her happy.

"Yes. It's time for a —" Her sentence was finished by a loud crack, it sounded like it came from her side. There was no scream, only a surprised squeal. The morning sun was barely peaking around the clouds, and there was mist covering the ground and my wife was again being subjected to a brutal assault. My monster's growled louder than Bella had squealed.

Carlisle sped over to the couch, "Where does it hurt?"

"It doesn't. It feels like my leg popped." Her face was contorted.

"But I heard a crack near her pelvis, Carlisle." I added, figuring my wife was downplaying her symptoms once again.

"I'm not sure I heard anything." Rosalie countered and the monster within me replied by freeing its hands and clawing.

"Let's get her upstairs and X-ray the area." Carlisle directed.

At those words, the monster retreated and I picked up my wife and gently carried her up the stairs and placed her on the table. The X-ray machine hummed as it passed over her legs. The electronic images showed no break in the leg or hip area.

"See, I told you I didn't hear a crack. You need your ears checked, Edward." Rosalie crowed.

I glared at Rosalie and didn't answer. The monster imagined itself pulling every limb from her body as it recalled the location of a flame, a match or a lighter.

"There was a pop." Bella corroborated. She put her hand on my face. "I'm just glad there isn't a break." Again my wife corralled that monster, and I carried her down the stairs, her pain was not subsiding, but it was bearable. I heard Jacob's voice as he made bogus plans with Alice to help me destroy Rosalie. I wouldn't need any help, the monster could handle this alone.

"Jake," Bella whispered, and she smiled through her hurt at the sight of him standing in the large room. I tried to compensate for my movements, but the pain was excruciating no matter how I carried her, her face frowned. I gently laid her on the couch and sat on the floor by her head as she petted my hair.

Carlisle came down slowly, behind Rosalie, the last one, his face creased with worry. He looked old enough to be a doctor for once. _We need supplies and to hunt. They are hurting._

"Carlisle," Jacob called. "We went halfway to Seattle. There's no sign of the pack. You're good to go."

"Thank you, Jacob. This is good timing. There's much that we need." His black eyes flickered to the cup that Bella was holding so tight. _The fetus will need blood, possibly Bella too, for the c-section._

"Honestly, I think you're safe to take more than three. I'm pretty positive that Sam is concentrating on La Push." Jacob added. _Sam won't leave La Push unsecure in order to attack._

Carlisle nodded in agreement. "If you think so. Alice, Esme, Jasper, and I will go. Then Alice can take Emmett and Rosa—

"Not a chance," Rosalie hissed. "Emmett can go with you now."

"You should hunt," Carlisle said in a gentle voice.

"I'll hunt when he does," she growled, jerking her head toward me and then flipping her hair back.

Carlisle sighed. _This is not good, she doesn't have the control._ The monster could care less, it was her pain and if she did lose control—the monster and I would surely take care of her. Now it was my turn to protect Bella from Rosalie, although neither of them saw _that_ threat.

Jasper and Emmett were down the stairs in a flash, and Alice joined them by the glass back door in the same second as Esme flitted to Alice's side. Jasper focused on his control and exuded so much relaxation through the room, that the monster within me calmed and Bella's body sunk more deeply into the couch.

Carlisle put his hand on Jacob's arm. "Thank you," he said again, and then he darted out the door with the other four. Jacob decided to stick around to ruin Rosalie's morning, I welcomed his distraction. He sat in the armchair closest to Rosalie with his feet near her face.

"Ew. Someone put the dog out," she murmured.

"Have you heard this one, Psycho? How does a blonde's brain cells die?"

Rosalie didn't say anything.

"Well?" He asked. "Do you know the punch line or not?"

She continued to ignore Jacob.

"Has she heard it?" He asked me.

I hadn't stopped looking at Bella, but I took a second to read Rosalie's thoughts—I hated it in there. "No."

"Awesome. So you'll enjoy this, bloodsucker—a blonde's brain cells die alone."

"I have killed a hundred times more often than you have, you disgusting beast. Don't forget that." Rosalie lied.

"Someday, Beauty Queen, you're going to get tired of just threatening me. I'm really looking forward to that."

"Enough, Jacob," Bella said her face was full of disappointment. I couldn't figure out why she took it out on Jacob when Rosalie was just as annoying.

"You want me to take off?" Jacob offered. _ I don't want to bug you._

"No! Of course not." She said emphatically.

There was a unified sigh from the rest of us. She wanted all of us here, regardless of how difficult it was between us. She hadn't even argued with Rosalie about her failure to go hunting. But I knew there was nothing that would make me point out the obvious to her. It made her happy for us to be here and none of us wanted her unhappy, a small price to pay for the discomfort we felt at the company we were forced to entertain civilly.

"You look tired, Jacob." Bella commented.

"Dead beat," He admitted.

"I'd like to beat you dead," Rosalie muttered, too low for Bella to hear.

"Rose, can I have a refill, please." Bella asked.

"Certainly," Rosalie blew upstairs for some more blood. I shifted away from Bella to allow the monster within me to take control and spirit her away while Rosalie was out of the room. I looked at Jacob who leaned back to take a nap his mind clearing, unaware that I was about to make my move to kill our mutual enemy.

The monster began to rejoice as it visualized our lifting my battered wife and slipping into the kitchen to remove the beast that lay within her stomach. It relished the pain that Bella would feel as I used the hidden scalpel that lay atop the refrigerator, and I abhorred what I would allow to happen. Her pain at the forced c-section would be short-lived for beside the scalpel lay a syringe of morphine that would lull Bella into sleep. I was grateful that no one had detected my crude medical kit because of the overpowering nauseous smell of food and its cooking hid the smell of morphine.

"Bella, I'm so sorry." I whispered so quietly no one could hear and I moved my hands to her, but then I heard my words repeated in my mind.

The voice in my head was novel, I'd never heard it before. It was strange, confusing, it was like it was agreeing with the monster within me. I looked deeper into Bella's eyes, concerned that she may have heard my lamented apology. It was so damn frustrating that at that moment I realized that the small voice I'd heard in my heard was too soft to be the monster.

Was it Bella's voice? Could it be that because she was so close to death, that maybe the gods of damnation were cruel enough to allow me to hear her thoughts? My hands shook unnecessarily as my mind wrapped itself around the cruelty of the moment - I'd hear her voice long enough to suffer with her last thoughts as she died.

The monster screamed within me to take her away to finish its duty and kill what was killing my wife, I didn't need to hear her thoughts – it was more important for her to live. I was too shaken to follow its wisdom. I always knew the mystery of my Miss Swan would be our undoing and _that_ curiosity refused to allow me to succumb to my monster and instead to welcome the voice to my mind. "Did you say something?"

Jacob leaned forward and looked at me. _No one said anything, Edward—your hearings as good as mine. You're hearing things._ Okay so nothing was said out loud, so I was hearing someone's unfamiliar voice. I quickly scanned the house. I could hear Jacob's thoughts questioning my hearing. Rosalie was focusing on her reflection in the stainless steel refrigerator. So that left Bella's thoughts. _Did something?_ I heard within me, the voice again.

"Me?" she asked after a second. "I didn't say anything."

The thought was clearly coming from Bella there was no other direction . . . it could have come from. I was familiar enough with Rosalie and Jacob, that I knew it wasn't them. It could only be my wife. Again, I focused somewhat hopeful that I would have my wife's thoughts. There was nothing. Damn confusing. I moved onto my knees, leaning forward over her, and focused on her face, possibly if I concentrated harder.

"What are you thinking about right now?" I asked.

She stared at me confused. "Nothing. What's going on?" _You . . .now?_ It was the unidentified thoughts of someone.

"What were you thinking about a minute ago?" I asked. It had to be her thoughts. _What . . . ago_

"Just . . . Esme's island. And feathers." I saw her face flush, and the new voice continued to repeat parts of my words but there was something more that the voice wasn't saying. I sighed at my lack of understanding. I shook my head avoiding the obvious; I was hearing happy thoughts, excitement at the words and sounds. Clearly, this wasn't what Bella had just told me she was thinking.

"Say something else," I murmured as I attempted to confirm that it wasn't Bella's voice I was hearing. How could I be so confused? The direction of the unidentified voice was certainly coming from Bella. Had someone been able to throw their thoughts like a ventriloquist threw their voice?

"Like what? Edward, what's going on?" _Say something else._ Most assuredly someone was mocking me with my own words. I put a finger up, Bella was not my tormentor. I knew I was being stupid, too frightened to accept that the only remaining being within the room, within the area was the murderous half-breed life sucker that was a part of my wife, the fetus vampire. Then I heard a rush of contentment, something that sounded like cooing.

I remembered every thought and feeling I'd heard from the small voice in the last few minutes. None of those thoughts reflected the image I'd carried of abomination over the last tortuous, heartbreaking four weeks. Instead of uncontrolled thirst for blood, the fetus was content. Instead of erratic emotions there was calmness. Instead of murder . . . love.

I could not ignore the obvious.

I knew without a doubt that the monster within me was fighting my epiphany. It would lose. This new life my wife carried, was nothing like the monster I held within me and I would not treat it as such. I placed my hand against my wife's huge stomach, seeking the contact that would forever quell my beast. "The f—" I swallowed the word fetus back, it was a thinking, feeling individual. "It…the baby likes the sound of your voice."

It took them a few seconds to comprehend my words and then Rosalie gasped and Jacob didn't move a muscle as they saw my hand on Bella's pregnancy in a way I had vowed never to touch her. I wasn't sure if they all froze or if I blocked out everything but the small voice. It was Bella's reaction to my touch that caused us all to startle.

"Holy crow, you can hear him!" Bella shouted, her eyes wide with excitement and her mouth agape with a smile. The baby jumped in her belly at the sudden sound and movement. I gently moved my hand to the top of her belly and rubbed the spot that the baby had kicked in fright. "Shh," I whispered to Bella. "You startled it…him."

"Sorry, baby." She patted the side of her stomach and smiled. I placed my other hand on top of hers and ghosted her movements, our eyes looking at her swollen belly. I was listening more intently, my head tilted toward the bulge in hopes of hearing more. In reward, cooing and the dark warmth filled my mind.

"What's he thinking now?" she demanded eagerly.

"It… he or she, is . . ." I paused and looked up into her glistening brown eyes. I recognized the emotion, one I thought the fetus would be incapable of . . . "He's happy."

Her breath caught, and it was impossible not to see the fanatical gleam in her eyes. Big, fat tears overflowed and ran silently down her face and over her smiling lips.

Awe filled me as well and then something more that I recognized immediately. This baby—my baby wasn't thinking of harming my wife but was content. No bloodlust. No rage. No burning thirst . . . there was utter joy. All the anger, fear, angst and horror of the last two weeks dissolved as I rubbed my wife's belly, and the hope of fatherhood that was buried in my silent heart rose. I was falling in love.

"Of course you're happy, pretty baby, of course you are," Bella crooned, rubbing her stomach while the tears washed her cheeks. "How could you not be, all safe and warm and loved? I love you so much, little EJ, of course you're happy."

The small voice now had a name? "What did you call him?" For the first time I listened with happiness to her words about the baby she was carrying, our baby.

She blushed again. "I sort of named him. I didn't think you would want…well, you know." Her eyes looked at our hands.

"EJ?" My initial? Edward which meant protector of luck or fortune. How ironic. "Perhaps my son would live up to the meaning, where I failed." I whispered quickly, certain Bella did not hear.

"Your father's name was Edward, too?"

"Yes, it was. What—?" I paused. _Perhaps my son would live up to the meaning, where I failed. Yes, it was. What--" _The baby was repeating my every word. Imitation, the highest form of flattery? And then I said, "Hmm."

"What?"

"He likes my voice, too."

"Of course he does." Her tone was almost gloating now. "You have the most beautiful voice in the universe. Who wouldn't love it?"

"Do you have a backup plan?" Rosalie asked then, leaning over the back of the sofa with the same wondering, gloating look on her face that was on Bella's.

"What if he's a she?" I asked, listening to the baby mimic Rosalie.

Bella wiped the back of her hand under her wet eyes. "I kicked a few things around. Playing with Renée and Esme. I was thinking… Ruh-nez-may."

"Ruhnezmay?" Rosalie repeated.

_Ruhnezmay_, the baby's voice was quiet, soft; barely audible as he copied Rosalie.

"R-e-n-e-s-m-e-e. Too weird?"

"No, I like it," Rosalie assured her. Their heads were close together, gold and mahogany. "It's beautiful. And one of a kind, so that fits."

It was clear the baby had vampire hearing. He had heard my whisper that Bella could not hear and now the baby repeated every word Rosalie had uttered. _It's beautiful. And one of a kind, so that fits, _the baby thought.

"I still think he's an Edward." Bella declared.

I let Rosalie's thoughts and Jacob's noisy thoughts become background, while I was concentrating on the baby. He repeated everything Rosalie and I had said. I squeezed my eyes shut to hear the baby better, I was sure that Bella's words were not being repeated.

"What?" Bella asked, her face just glowing away. "What's he thinking now?"

At first I didn't answer, I was waiting to see if the baby would repeat Bella's sentence, but he didn't. I laid my ear tenderly against her tummy. I could hear better, but I still didn't hear Bella's words coming from the baby. The baby was thinking, or rather feeling; and at that moment I wished Jasper were here so he could better describe the sensation. Then, as if the baby knew I wanted to understand, he felt wonder and adulation for all things Bella. He didn't repeat her words because they were enchantment to him. I understood the feeling.

And my love affair with my baby began. I dedicated my life to little EJ or Renesmee. I vowed to protect the baby and devote my life to the baby's happiness. I was committed to the baby as surely as I was devoted to his mother. My silent heart grew exponentially.

"He loves you," I murmured. "He absolutely adores you." I smiled wide at Bella marveling at our family. There was no more conflict over wife or child—who would live, whose life was worth saving. It would always be wife _and_ child, I would not hasten either to death.

All of a sudden Jacob flew straight up out of his seat, towering over us. Our heads snapped up and he was standing, frozen. I read his pained thoughts. _All alone. Of course he would betray me in the end. He was to suffer for making her pregnant but now that leech was happy. He was supposed to hate that revolting thing killing Bella but he was in love with it now._

They were the same thoughts that disappeared from me just moments ago and I listened to Jacob's pain.

_He'd never hate anything or anyone that loved Bella. He didn't hate me because of her and there was no way he'd hate that half-breed leech. There was no winning with Bella. I am all alone hating that thing and I'd rather be dead than have to deal with this hurt. Death would feel wonderful right now. _

"Ahh," I choked.

Jacob stood there, trembling looking for a way to escape the pain, the hurt, willing himself to stay human. I had to get him out of the house, away from my family. I jumped up and ripped the car keys from the drawer of the small end table. I tossed them to Jacob.

"Go, Jacob. Get away from here." I didn't say it harshly—I knew he had to leave. Bella would never send him away, but I could, for his sanity – for our safety. I could help him to escape.

Jacob looked down in his hand and saw the car keys. His pain was so brilliant. He thought of Leah's words '_That would go away, you know, if you imprinted. You wouldn't have to hurt anymore_.' His feet moved him out the door on a new mission, another purpose. I heard the Ashton Martin Vanquish engine start. _I'll crash this on the way back—I'm sure I won't get hurt, too bad about the car. . ._ I shivered not only at the damage to my prized vehicle but Jacob's pain, which so easily could have been mine.

"What's wrong with Jacob," Bella asked, dazed to see him leave.

My phone rang and in frustration, I picked it up before I could explain, before I could focus on the baby. "Hello."

"Edward – you okay?" It was Alice.

"Yes, I'm fine."

"What just happened? Are you sure nothing's wrong?"

"Nothing's . . . wrong. Life just got exponentially better that's all."

"Better?" Her voice was full of agitation and disbelief. "How the heck can it be better when I can't see _your_ future, just like Bella, just like the werewolves. I can't see you! What just happened?"

I smiled debating on how exactly to explain the joy and love in my heart and I realized that I couldn't. I didn't want to. "I'll let you talk to Bella." I handed the phone to my wife and I resumed my love affair. I'd missed too much time already.

"Alice?" Bella said softly, elated.

"Is everything okay? What's wrong with Edward?"

"He's talking with the baby, what did you see?"

"Nothing. That's just it, I can't see him, you or the baby. It's all blurry around you all. It's like what happened when you resolved that you loved the baby . . . What do you mean talking to the baby?"

"He loves our baby?" Bella looked down at me with wonder. Her question was not for Alice but for me. I knew I was in love with the baby. It was impossible for me not to love someone who was a part of Bella.

I raised my eyebrow and whispered, "I do."

Our eyes locked together and I leaned forward to kiss my wife and for those few seconds there was nothing else in the world for us except our family.

"Bella? Bella!" Alice was still on the phone trying to get Bella to talk to her. "What do you mean, talking to the baby?" She repeated loudly, jarring us from our private universe.

"He can hear the baby's thoughts. He's listening to him now and they . . . adore one another."

"That's just great" Slice replied sarcastically, now I'll probably have to move to the garage to avoid a bigger headache trying to see around you, Edward and the baby." Alice trilled. "Not to mention the werewolves."

"Oh, Alice, I'm so sorry."

"I know. You all can't help it." Alice paused, allowing her anger to subside. "I'll let everyone know what's happened. Jasper and I will be home soon with the supplies Carlisle got from the hospital."

The end button was pressed and I still had my hands on my wife's belly, rubbing. "Poor Alice." Bella sighed.

I looked up at my wife. "He's asleep. He seems to understand that his movements hurt you, so he's trying to stay still, but there's not much space." And then I heard yelling – loud, irritating yelling. I turned my head toward the door, it was Leah. _Come out here you leech and tell me what you did to Jacob! He took off and he didn't say a word. What did you do to him? _

"For the love of--" I shouted and then remembered that the baby was sleeping. The ugly fates would not allow us any peace – damn them all.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked.

"Leah is here, she's worried about Jacob." I got up and went to the door. "I'll be right back."

I stepped onto the porch and watched Leah walk forward in human form. I don't think I'd ever seen her human before. She looked a lot like her younger brother, Seth. They both had the same slender build with round faces and deep black hair and eyes.

"What did _she_ do to Jacob?" She demanded.

"Jacob is fine, he just needed to get away for a little while - the stress was a bit much for him."

"I don't think so. Jacob could handle the stress, even the smell. What did she do, what'd she tell him?" _Bloodsucker can't be trusted. You're lying!_

"She didn't say anything, it was me. I agreed that Bella was right about the baby. I'm happy about it." I couldn't stop the large silly grin from coming across my face and the lift in my voice. I was damn happy and she was killing my bliss.

"_That_ wouldn't be enough, I want to talk to Bella." She was insistent.

"It isn't a good time." Bella should be allowed to enjoy these moments of pure joy and although Bella was better, she certainly wasn't well enough to withstand an emotional onslaught from a hormonally challenged Leah.

"Too bad," she walked up the stairs and into the door, not waiting for me to show her inside. I didn't stop her, Esme had made it clear that Leah should feel at home here.

Bella was still sitting on the couch closest to the armrest, too excited to lie down and rest. Rosalie had moved in next to her in the middle of the couch, both deep in conversation about the recent events.

Leah in her cut-off jeans and a tank top interrupted the conversation, "Bella, what did _you_ do to Jacob?" She stood closer to the door, apparently wanting to make a quick exit when necessary or at least hopeful for a breath of fresh air. _They stink! _

I moved to stand in between Leah and the couch, ready to block any physical attack, but not blocking anyone's view. I spoke before Bella could answer. "I told her that you didn't do anything that I'd changed my mind about the baby and Jacob was upset with me."

All three women looked at me as if I hadn't said anything important. Women's thoughts no matter whether they were vampire, werewolf or human had always been confusing because they didn't match up with their actions and were hidden underneath strong emotions. It would be most helpful to have Jasper here.

Leah's thoughts vacillated as quickly as her emotions. She flitted through her hurt at her own menopausal condition, a genetic dead end and love lost with Sam who did not imprint with her because she could not produce children. She felt both admiration and jealousy at Bella's pregnancy and then an appreciation for Rosalie's loyalty and a total hatred toward me and my lack of understanding.

Rosalie's thoughts were quite basic I thought. She acknowledged Leah long enough to evaluate that she was not a physical threat to the baby and therefore, unworthy of consideration. Bella was unreadable as usual. She rubbed her stomach, possibly preparing herself for the verbal abuse but more probably in protection of the baby.

"What did you do?" Leah demanded an answer.

"Nothing, I was just as surprised as you were that Jacob left. I _didn't_ want him to go." Bella's voice trembled.

"Maybe that was the problem. You keep him around you just so you can trample his feelings. Why should he have to look at you and your 'happy little family' knowing that he will never have that?" She popped her hip out, tossed her head back and motioned quotes in the air when she said 'happy little family.'

"You are cruel and evil to make him be a part of this. How can you say you ever loved him if you continue to torture him with the love you have for that leech and his half-breed child you're carrying. He doesn't deserve to be treated like this; all he ever did was love you! Why don't you just leave him alone?"

Bella couldn't say anything. Leah's cutting words hurt more than the pain from her broken ribs. Tears were running down my spouse's face and I felt my monster turn to a new victim, a new quest.

"That's enough, Leah—you'd better go now." I faced her head on, my voice full of rage, threatening. I would not be a monster unless forced.

"I'm going, but you better hope Jacob comes back in one piece and soon!" She shook her finger at me and didn't verbally finish the sentence her thoughts finished them for her. _If not I will go back to Sam and lead an attack myself, stupid blood sucker._ She stormed out of the house and into the woods.

Leah's exit left one sound in the house - Bella's sobs. It was like all her joy came to a crashing halt. The bad luck demon continued its rampage against my wife. I crossed the room, "Excuse me Rosalie," I said and squeezed in between Bella and Rosalie. Although, I wasn't as angry with Rosalie, I was not in the mood for her impassive attitude toward the wolves, Bella and the emotional upheaval of it all.

"I'm sorry sweetheart. She wasn't right. Jacob doesn't feel like that." My arm was around her shoulders and she had her head on my chest. I could feel her wet warm tears soak my shirt as her shoulders shook.

"How can I make it right by him? I've been horrible." She said in between her sobs.

"Bella, he cares very much for you and wants to be here just as much as you want him here." I put my hand on the baby, thankfully, he was still sleeping. "You mustn't upset yourself; Leah's words were about her and Sam. She's very confused and Jacob doesn't feel like that. When he comes back, he'll tell you as much." I assured.

I knew it was only a half truth. Jacob did feel like his heart was being grinded in the garbage disposal, but he was drawn to Bella. However there was no way I would add to her anguish and there wasn't anything she could do to help Jacob. Jacob could not leave her and she didn't want him to. I didn't understand it, but I wouldn't fight it.

"I don't know why I keep hurting him." She cried.

"He knows that you don't want to hurt him, and he doesn't want to hurt you either. He won't like what Leah did, especially because she twisted her own hurt and disappointment into his."

"I have been cruel."

"Bella, that's not true." I leaned her face to mine and gave her my biggest smile at the absolute impossibility that she could ever be purposefully mean. "You are the most caring person we all know, you'd die before you were brutally hateful to someone you love. You must forget about Leah's tirade and focus on our family."

We sat together, me, Bella and the baby all holding each other. I listened to the baby but there was just darkness, the baby was rocked into deep sleep by Bella's crying. I smiled again as I heard Bella softly snore. The noon sun was hours away, the day had just begun, but it seemed like it was already nightfall.

When he woke up, the baby was trying hard to keep he's movements to a minimum but it was crowded inside the womb. He had not kicked since Bella startled him. I was still concerned about when the baby would be born and how to avoid a 'natural' childbirth. I was able to think more clearly about the situation without my monster's desires in the forefront of my mind.

"Bella, I think we should go ahead and have the c-section when Carlisle comes back." I carefully broached the subject.

"Is the baby ready?" She didn't say 'no' and I was hopeful that she'd ultimately agree now that she knew I loved the baby.

"He is able to communicate and he is getting smarter every time I hear his thoughts. He already understands words. I'm certain he is mature enough to survive without you, but you're not healthy enough to survive much longer with him inside of you. It's dangerous to wait much longer."

"It would be much safer for the baby to have a planned c-section." Rosalie agreed. I relaxed that Rosalie wasn't immediately objecting to my suggestions, although I was somewhat surprised by her reaction, but I still didn't trust myself to confirm her words by hearing her thoughts.

"Let's talk to Carlisle." And before they could disagree, I dialed his number and he answered on the first ring.

"How's Bella?"He asked.

"She's still in pain but I think she can rest more comfortably now that the baby can understand that his movements hurt her."

"I heard you've been listening to my grandchild." I could almost hear the smile in his voice.

"He is smart Carlisle and already knows our voices." My pride flowed. Bella smiled at my statement.

"Amazing." He chuckled and continued. "Esme and I will be home tomorrow around noon. I've had to go further away; supplies are pretty scarce in our area, but Alice and Jasper are on the way home."

"I think the baby is further developed than what you've estimated, he can survive on his own. We should deliver."

"Well, I'll take a look when we get back. If everything looks fine, then we can consider delivery. Until then, keep them hydrated, fed and rested."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"What did Carlisle say?" Bella asked when I hung up.

"He will examine you tomorrow to determine if it's safe to have the c-section, if so, then my arms will hold my son or daughter tomorrow."

Bella giggled, "It's been a busy morning and I need another bathroom break." The noon day sun hadn't made an appearance and our lives had changed so majorly.

While Rosalie and Bella were in the bathroom, I went upstairs to prepare for the delivery. I thought of the large tapir that I last feasted on in South America. The venom began to flow to my mouth and I drained it into a metal syringe and placed it next to the bags of O positive blood in the stainless steel refrigerator. I rushed into the kitchen to discard the emergency medical kit I hid on top of the refrigerator and quickly returned to the large living area.

"Are you ready for some lunch? There are plenty of leftovers." I asked when Bella returned to the couch.

"I'm really not hungry." Bella replied as she rubbed her stomach.

"Now is not the time to stop eating, we've got a baby to deliver tomorrow." I said it with joy and excitement enough so that Bella smiled.

"Well, I guess I better eat then, it will be my last lunch." She teased.

My face turned grim as the horrid idea of her death hit me. I knew she didn't mean it like that. But, I didn't like the sound of it, at all. I hesitated, once again faced with ending her life, destroying her soul – what had I done?

It took everything inside me to speak. She meant, she would be a vampire—human food would no longer be appealing. "Bella, I was . . . you—"

I knew without any doubt that there were three reasons that I could not avoid making her a vampire and I never finished my sentence.

First, her heart was permanently damaged, it was enlarged and there was a pronounced murmur. Her heart would fail. She would die from cardiac arrest within weeks, maybe minutes after delivery.

Second, even if her heart was repaired, she could not be around the baby as a human. The baby would thirst after her blood; he would be in pain every time she was near him. And were the baby to act upon that thirst—to stop his pain, to quench his desire -- he'd kill both his parents.

And thirdly, if Bella were to remain human, she would be miserably, wretchedly unhappy to be separated from the baby and it would be a catastrophic separation because his accelerated growth could end his life in a few short years.

It took me less than half a second to agree that Bella was right; this would be her lunch.

Comments? Please, I need the encouragement – I'm working on the next chapters and they're sad.


	15. Chapter 15 Barriers

A/N - As you know all rights belong to SM on this one!

I hope you liked the last chapter – it was one of my favorites to write and read. Please let me know

Hang on – we're going in . . .

"So now you've gone and tied your life around your wife and baby so that I can't see your future either?" Alice's frustration at having her talent handcuffed was obvious when she came into the front glass door, following Jasper, both of them carrying supplies.

With none of the wolves around to deaden her headache, Alice would only spend a few minutes with us before she banished herself to her room.

"Alice, I couldn't help myself." I was as confused as she was regarding her blurred vision. What did it mean? Was our existence dependent on the baby? Or was the baby able to control our future?

_Yeah, I know you all can't help loving the strange little half human -- tell me something I don't already know? It really doesn't matter anyway, I can only see a few minutes ahead._ She twirled toward the stairs and took the packages to the second floor. We continued to talk-- well I talked and she thought, just as we had communicated for over fifty years.

"Well, you'll be able to meet the cause of your headaches tomorrow. Bella's agreed to a c-section, if Carlisle approves."

_Tomorrow? Edward you've been so difficult, now we've only got a few hours!_

"What's wrong with that?" I wasn't sure why Alice would be so upset that we were planning the delivery for the next day. All this stress and angst will be over, I couldn't understand her concern.

Bella was suddenly interested in my one sided verbal conversation with Alice, apparently the confusion was in my tone. "What's Alice upset about?" She murmured.

"I'm not sure, she isn't thinking specifically about it, she says there's not much time." Knowing Alice, I was sure whatever she had planned would be pretty bad though – especially for Bella.

Soon Alice lilted down the stairs with clothes and a camera, _it's time for a family portrait_, she thought.

"She wants to take pictures of you pregnant." I tell Bella.

"Ugh." Bella moaned. As I thought, Bella would not like Alice's plans.

"Bella, we need at least one picture pre-birth." Alice softly twitted. She came right up to Bella and placed the back of her hand to her face and smiled.

"I don't think so Alice, I look horrible: the bruises, my hair and I'm huge!" My head snaps up because I'm amazed at how she describes herself. I begin to shake my head ready to disagree, but Alice intercepted.

"You look gorgeous and we don't have to make a major production, just change into these clothes and whatever doesn't work – we'll photo shop it later." Alice countered.

Ultimately it was Rosalie's reflection that convinced Bella, "It will be your last portrait human and your only pregnancy." Rosalie said it with such sweetness that Bella could not resist.

Bella nodded her head and before I knew it, Rosalie had Bella swooped up in her arms and in the bathroom. When they returned Bella had on a simple soft pink button down cotton shirt and a white calf length pants, it was a simple ensemble, yet extravagant on Bella's pregnant body.

"You all were prepared for this?" Bella asked incredulously.

"Of course. We want to memorialize everything and with Edward no longer being so stubborn, we can get started. You look amazing in the pink, Bella." Alice trilled with a smile.

Even Rosalie smiled and it was the first time I'd seen her relaxed enough to show how much she actually cared for Bella. _She's beautiful._

Rosalie passed me a similar shirt in white and a pair of khaki pants. "Go get changed Dad." She ordered in her gentle bell tone with a false annoyance. I looked at her with a raised eyebrow, Rosalie was no longer a hostile psychopath blonde bent on the destruction of Bella in order to reap the rewards of a baby.

Rosalie was actually pleasant. Kind! My mouth was agape and my expression change to utter disbelief, so much so that all three of them stopped and stared at me.

"Bella you should tell him." Rosalie turned to Bella, was that sympathy I saw in her eyes?

"It does seem only right." My wife answered a bit chagrin.

"Tell me what?" I asked incredulously.

"You've got to promise not to be angry with me." Bella said rubbing her belly.

"Never." I promised. She was the mother of my child, my wife and lover. I could not imagine why she would consider that I'd be mad at her, frustrated yes, but not mad.

"And you won't be mad at Rose either." She took in a large gulp of air, causing her side to shiver.

"I'm not sure I ever really was _mad_ at her." Furious, livid, irate maybe, but not exactly mad, I thought. And I wasn't sure what Bella had to do with the way I had felt about Rosalie.

Bella grimaced in unbelief, "Well, I'm only telling you now because—well I don't want you clashing with Rose, she's done me . . . us --"

Rosalie interrupted Bella's speech, anxious to get to the point and in perfect soprano pitch spoke. "Edward, you know I've spent years keeping you out of my most private thoughts, but these last three weeks have been the hardest. So rather than tell you, I think it would be easier to let you see."

_I'm sorry Edward it was the only way, we could keep you focused on something other than . . . _She stopped her thoughts and looked at Bella. "I'll start with the phone call?"

Bella nodded and put her hand on my arm, "Don't be annoyed. It was the only way." She gave me a pensive grin and rubbed my arm soothingly.

I then heard Rosalie's thoughts. She showed me her hotel room in New York, probably when she and Emmett visited right after my wedding. She had her cell phone to her ear and she was looking out onto the city skyscape.

"_Rosalie, it's Bella. Please. You have to help me."_

"_Bella?"_

"_I'm pregnant and he doesn't want me to have it."_

"_What?"_

"_Edward thinks it'll kill me, that I'm not strong enough; so we're leaving the Isle, so Carlisle can . . . I won't be able to stop them, please, Rose."_

"_What idiots, men can be. He's overreacting; of course, he always does when it comes to you. What can I do to help?"_

"_Don't let them kill my baby, protect me." _

"_Of course."_

"_And we'll have to keep him distracted, unfocused, otherwise he'll find a way to stop me."_

"_I'll have to wag the dog." There was a pause. "He'll hate me, you know that? He'll absolutely despise me."_

"_I'm sorry. It should be me instead, but you know he'll never see me as the enemy."_

"_No, he won't. Actually, it's better this way, I already know how to push his buttons. I'll have to do and say some ruthless things. Can you handle it?"_

"_I don't want you to harm him. I can't stand to think of hurting him."_

"_I won't hurt him, but I'll have to rattle him, nothing that you won't be able to smooth over. He has to see me as the major obstacle."_

"_He's going to be pretty unreasonable and I don't want you to get hurt either."_

"_He won't, he's more bark than bite."_

"_How will you keep him from reading your thoughts and knowing our plan?"_

"_I've only slipped once in the last ninety years to let him hear something I wanted private, I can keep this from him even when he's unbearable. It's a small price to pay for a child. I'll be at the airport when your plane arrives." Rosalie pressed the end button on the phone._

It was hard to hear my wife begging for protection-- from me, but it was just as discomforting to understand that I'd been bettered. I'd never so completely lost a fight. The monster within was defeated long before his first battle. Bella was absolutely spectacular, a consummate general - never firing one shot, never seen as a threat and commandeering the enemy's weakness for her strength. The monster never had a chance.

I saw Rosalie through her sacrifice. I would never see her as unyielding, spiteful or mean. Bella's strength and bravery had unalterably transformed Rosalie. She had a new tenacious love for something more than her own reflection and desires. A child.

Mine and Bella's child.

"Rose, it seems," I walked towards her; chagrin faced at the sister I'd always thought was more trouble than her pretty face was worth and kissed her cheek, "-- it seems you make a commendable adoring godmother—try not to overindulge."

There were soft chuckles as I dodged into the bathroom to quickly change into the wardrobe they'd given to me. When I came out, Bella was standing barefoot leaning her back on the glass wall, both hands hugging her stomach and her head looking at the bulge in her middle. There was a smile barely noticeable smile on her face and her eyes shined brightly. An uneasy air was coming from her mouth. As if in labor, she was breathing through her pain, but her face showed none of the stress.

I halted.

I'd seen Bella kind, good, self-less and brave; now she was a mother and there was nothing more beautiful, more precious. Even breathless with pain and fatigue, there was a sparkle -- a dazzle that besieged everything around her. The sun seemed to shine more brightly, the air was crisper and my dead heart was impossibly more alive.

Another surreal sensation came over me and I wasn't sure if it was related to Bella, the baby or both. The feeling was something more than adoration. It was difficult to recognize at first, I'd seen it in human's thoughts but not recently in this new generation of open relationships. Yes, it was exactly what many humans missed during a pregnancy made on a honeymoon by first lovers as they gaze lovingly into one another eyes, something those in the vampire world never experience. I recognized it then. Triumph. She not only married me, she was carrying my child.

I wanted to gloat, strut like a peacock and give a knee bending fist pump. Yes, I did that! I was ten feet taller. Mine. Oh, the glory of it all. I was man and that was my woman, pregnant with my child. I could feel a lion's growl roar in my chest.

In awe, with chest uplifted and head held high; I went to her, placed my hands on either side of her face, and leaned her head up so that we were nose to nose. I kissed her with a husband's pride. I then took a step backwards, bowed and placed gentle kisses to the top of her stomach. Oh yes, I'd won. I stood up and held her eye to mine and her hands. The tears in her eyes told me she was just as proud.

"Mrs. Cullen you are by far the most majestic attraction in the universe."

"You're far too biased." The color rose in her cheeks making her even more appealing to every part of my being.

Alice interrupted us, "Enough you two, turn around Edward." She took several more quick pictures and exited to the third floor leaving the camera with Rosalie. _See you when the wolf comes back. I have another outfit. You'll make a wonderful father._

"Thanks Alice." I called. Bella walked to the couch—well, I mostly carried her, her feet barely touched the floor. On the sofa, she curled her legs up under a blanket and began rubbing her stomach.

"You cold too little one?" She crooned.

I bent down on my knees in front of the couch and rested my arm on the sofa edge and my other hand gently on the mound, "He _or she_ is sleeping."

"I hope he looks like you, with no interference from me; amazing green eyes, a crooked dazzling smile and perfect coordination."

"Silly. I am curious though, how are we going to explain this to Charlie?"

"Oh," a crinkle formed above her eyebrows. "Do we know how long this … growth spurt will last?"

"Not yet."

"Adoption is what I'm thinking, he'll never believe I was pregnant—the timing won't work."

Bella took a sip of her drink and closed her eyes. It was getting dark outside, the cloud cover hastening nightfall. She leaned down onto the sofa and soon began to snore lightly and contentment filled the air.

Unfortunately, so many things could cause our fragile happiness to dissipate. Would the delivery be successful? Would the baby be okay? What do we tell Charlie when he calls? Would the Quileute wolves attack?

My will could not prevent what the fates controlled. I could, however, sabotage their designs. Once again, I'd have to enlist the help of Bella's best friend, Jacob.

I slipped outside to the garage when I heard the Ashton Martin turn off the highway. I listened to Jacob's thoughts and he wasn't as hostile as he had been when he left earlier.

I made sure my expression wasn't mournful; the way it was the last time Jacob walked into a room and found me. Jacob pulled into the garage and I stood waiting for him. He characterized my expression as hopeful, which disturbed him to no end.

His feelings toward the baby hadn't changed, and neither had his feelings toward Bella, but he wasn't going to let that ruin the time he had left with her. I knew he was still drawn to be with her, regardless of how much it hurt. He fleetingly remembered his search for his 'imprint' and how everything he'd hoped to find was what I had. I would not be cruel to him.

"A few things, Jacob," I said as soon as he cut the engine.

He held his breath and slowly got out of the car and threw the keys to me. I caught them and absently placed them in my pants' pocket.

"Thanks for the loan," he said sourly as if he was obligated to me because he borrowed the car. He mistook the purpose of my presence and Esme's promise. "What do you want now?" I was unsurprised that he would make our discussion difficult.

"Firstly… I know how averse you are to using your authority with your pack, but . . ." He interrupted me with a growl.

"What?" _Sore spot and you should know it!_

"If you can't or won't control Leah, then I—"

"Leah? What happened?"

Fury and frustration came over me. "She came up to see why you'd left so abruptly. I tried to explain. I suppose it might not have come out right."

"What did she do?"

"She phased to her human form and—"

"Really?" He sounded amazed. _Leah letting her guard down right in the mouth of the enemy's lair?_

"She wanted to…speak to Bella."

"To Bella?"

He was making this much harder than necessary, he usually did.

"I won't let Bella be upset like that again. I don't care how justified Leah thinks she is! I didn't hurt her—of course I wouldn't—but I'll throw her out of the house if it happens again. I'll launch her right across the river—"

"Hold on. What did she say?" He asked incredulously.

I was taking my annoyance out on Jacob, I took a superfluous breath and calmed. "Leah was unnecessarily harsh. I'm not going to pretend that I understand why Bella is unable to let go of you, but I do know that she does not behave this way to hurt you. She suffers a great deal over the pain she's inflicting on you, and on me, by asking you to stay. What Leah said was uncalled for. Bella's been crying—"

"Wait—Leah was yelling at Bella about me?" He shook his head in disbelief.

I quickly dipped my head. "You were quite vehemently championed."

"I didn't ask her to do that."

"I know."

He rolled his eyes, exasperated that I'd read his mind, while he deliberated on Leah's actions. _Leah walking into the bloodsuckers' place human to complain about how I was being treated. Unbelievable, maybe she's not as bitter, self-centered and hateful as we thought. _

"I can't promise to control Leah," He said. "I won't do that. But I'll talk to her, okay? And I don't think there'll be a repeat. Leah's not one to hold back, so she probably got it all off her chest today."

I puffed air through my nose, "I would say so."

"Anyway, I'll talk to Bella about it, too. She doesn't need to feel bad. This one's on me." He was conciliatory.

"I already told her that."

"Of course you did. Is she okay?"

"She's sleeping now. Rose is with her."

Jacob's thoughts were loud, _the psycho was "Rose" now. Edward's completely crossed over to the dark side._

I was used to staying on track with verbal conversations rather than being side tracked by thoughts. I continued replying to his question. "She's… better in some ways. Aside from Leah's tirade and the resulting guilt."

_Better. Because you can hear the monster and everything is all lovey dovey now. You all have a fantastic little family._

"It's a bit more than that," I lowered my voice hoping it would calm Jacob. "Now that I can make out the child's thoughts, it's apparent that he or she has remarkably developed mental facilities. He can understand us, to an extent."

In shocked surprise, his mouth fell open. "Are you serious?"

"Yes. He seems to have a vague sense of what hurts her now. He's trying to avoid that, as much as possible. He…loves her. Already."

He was astonished, and grasped what he believed to be a critical factor. That I couldn't hate what loved Bella. It was probably why he thought I couldn't hate him, either.

My own amazement at his reasoning made my face gentle. He was wrong. I loved the baby not just because he loved Bella, but because he loved me as well. But even more than the baby's love for us, I had no choice but to love him because he was a part of both me and Bella, a tangible, real and vital demonstration of our love.

Jacob's thoughts were also flawed regarding my feelings for him. It wasn't only based on his love for Bella. It was founded on the incontrovertible fact that he was a better man for her in so many ways than I would ever be. She would never have to change or sacrifice to have a life with him. But more than that, we had fought on the same side, faced the same enemies, for so long that he was something more than an ally, a friend.

Unfortunately he still believed that the baby would kill Bella, and I wouldn't be able to change his beliefs easily.

"The progress, I believe, is more than we'd judged. When Carlisle returns—" He interrupts me again.

"They're not back?" He cut in sharply. _Sam and Jared were watching the road when I came back. They're probably still out there, your family will have to be careful._

"Alice and Jasper are. Carlisle sent all the blood he was able to acquire, but it wasn't as much as he was hoping for—Bella will use up this supply in another day the way her appetite has grown. Carlisle stayed to try another source. I don't think that's necessary now, but he wants to be covered for any eventuality."

"Why isn't it necessary?" _Is she that bad? _"If she needs more?"

Unable to prevent the hurt that I was about to inflict on him, I made my face more understanding, thoughtful and concerned, and explained. "I'm trying to persuade Carlisle to deliver the baby as soon as he is back."

"What?" His eyes began to glisten.

"The child seems to be attempting to avoid rough movements, but it's difficult. He's become too big. It's madness to wait, when he's clearly developed beyond what Carlisle had guessed. Bella's too fragile to delay."

I watched as Jacob reasoned through the ultimate conclusion there was hours left not days. I understood. I'd felt the same punch to my system just hours earlier when I served her last human lunch.

His grief was stretched out before him, like the endless ocean. He tried to catch his breath. I wanted to comfort him, but he would not have allowed it. He thought he could count on my hatred of the baby to save her life and the four days he'd spend with her. _I can't believe I wasted time away from her when in just hours, the woman we both love will be gone. How did everything change so quickly?_

"You think she's going to make it," he whispered to dazed to speak loudly.

"Yes. That was the other thing I wanted to talk to you about."

I waited for him to accept the fact that Bella would survive.

"Yes," I repeated. "Waiting, as we have been, for the child to be ready, that was insanely dangerous. At any moment it could have been too late. But if we're proactive about this, if we act quickly, I see no reason why it should not go well. Knowing the child's mind is unbelievably helpful. Thankfully, Bella and Rose agree with me. Now that I've convinced them it's safe for the child if we proceed, there's nothing to keep this from working."

"When will Carlisle be back?" He asked, still whispering trying to catch his breath, visibly upset.

"By noon tomorrow."

And now the scene was reversed and the tables turned. Just days earlier, I the perceived champion fell broken before the upright defeated Jacob. I found no glory as Jacob's knees buckled and he grabbed hold of the car to steady himself before me, the erect victor. But I no longer considered that there was a contest, a battle, a campaign for anything but her survival. We could both become triumphant. I reached forward and his eyes held me, there would be no physical support between the two of us today.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I am truly sorry for the pain this causes you, Jacob. Though you hate me, I must admit that I don't feel the same about you. I think of you as a…a brother in many ways.

"A comrade in arms, at the very least. I regret your suffering more than you realize. But Bella is going to survive"—my voice was fierce, even violent, he had to believe me—"and I know that's what really matters to you."

I hadn't convinced him. He didn't know what to believe. His thoughts were all over the place, vacillating between what used to be true and what I was telling him was now true. I didn't have time for him to sort through his confusion.

"So I hate to do this now, while you're already dealing with too much, but, clearly, there is little time. I have to ask you for something—to beg, if I must."

"I don't have anything left," he choked out.

He believed he was broken and yet that was far from the truth. I wanted to grab his shoulder -- show support-- as I'd done for Jasper numerous times, when he was unable to control himself. I wanted to remind him of the truth that Bella would live and he could still be a part of her life. I lifted my hand forgetting that Jacob was not my brother. I let it drop like before and sighed.

"I know how much you have given," I said quietly. "But this is something you do have, and only you. I'm asking this of the true Alpha, Jacob. I'm asking this of Ephraim's heir."

His mind went blank, frozen. But I had to pursue, press forward my request.

"I want your permission to deviate from what we agreed to in our treaty with Ephraim. I want you to grant us an exception. I want your permission to save her life. You know I'll do it anyway, but I don't want to break faith with you if there is any way to avoid it. We never intended to go back on our word, and we don't do it lightly now. I want your understanding, Jacob, because you know exactly why we do this. I want the alliance between our families to survive when this is over."

He was unable to speak. _Sam._ He thought._ It's Sam you want._

"No. Sam's authority is assumed. It belongs to you. You'll never take it from him, but no one can rightfully agree to what I'm asking except for you."

_It's not my decision._

"It is, Jacob, and you know it. Your word on this will condemn us or absolve us. Only you can give this to me."

_I can't think. I don't know._

"We don't have much time." I glanced back toward the movement I see in the house through the glass wall, wondering if Bella was awake.

_No, there was no time. My few days had become a few hours._

_I don't know. Let me think. Just give me a minute here, okay?_

"Yes."

Jacob was sure footed again and started walking to the house, I followed. Neither of us felt uncomfortable or unsafe, even though we were mortal enemies. He was familiar. Our mutual distaste for one another's smell bothered him more than me--I didn't have to breathe.

There was a movement in the brush at the edge of the big lawn, and then a low whimper. Seth shrugged through the ferns and loped over to us.

"Hey, kid," Jacob muttered. "S'all cool, I'll tell you about it later. Sorry to take off on you like that."

Seth was happy to have Jacob back safely.

"Hey, tell your sister to back off now, okay? Enough."

Seth nodded once.

He shoved against his shoulder this time. "Get back to work. I'll spell you in a bit."

Seth leaned, shoving back, and then he galloped into the trees.

"He has one of the purest, sincerest, kindest minds I've ever heard," I commented. "You're lucky to have his thoughts to share."

"I know that," He grunted, a little riled that I invaded Seth's private thoughts too. Jacob would never allow an easy conversation.

We started toward the house, and both of our heads snapped up when we heard the sound of someone sucking through a straw. I darted up the porch stairs and was gone, appearing at Bella's side in mere seconds, Jacob lagged behind.

"Bella, love, I thought you were sleeping, I'm sorry, I wouldn't have left."

"Don't worry. I just got so thirsty—it woke me up. It's a good thing Carlisle is bringing more. This kid is going to need it when he gets out of me."

"True. That's a good point." I agreed. She was much more reasonable about our separation than the last time I'd left her, unfortunately she broke a rib then.

"I wonder if he'll want anything else," she mused.

"I suppose we'll find out."

Jacob walked through the door. He'd composed himself from his distraught self and looked more like a calm cheerful teenager.

Alice trilled, "Finally," and came downstairs for headache relief.

Bella's eyes flashed to him and she smiled gladly. Jacob's heart skipped as he saw the joy he brought her. Then he madden as her smile turned to sadness at the hurt she'd caused him. A hurt the extent of which he never would have shared, but Leah who shared his thoughts in the pack, knew and released them.

"Hey, Bells," He said quickly before she could cry or become overwhelmed. "How ya doing?"

"I'm fine," she said.

"Big day today, huh? Lots of new stuff."

"You don't have to do that, Jacob."

"Don't know what you're talking about," he said, going to sit on the arm of the sofa by her head.

I didn't move from my place, facing my wife pregnant with my child was the happiest spot in the world for me, even during this tense moment between her and Jacob.

"I'm so s—" she started to say.

He pinched her lips together between his thumb and finger stopping her from an apology. I took a deep breath, preventing an overreaction on my part.

"Jake," she mumbled, trying to pull his hand away. He didn't release her, and my head snapped up at him, I held my temper.

He shook his head. "You can talk when you're not being stupid."

"Fine, I won't say it," she mumbled.

He pulled his hand away and I turned back to admire my wife.

"Sorry!" she finished quickly, and then grinned.

The baby was repeating Jacob's words differently than he'd repeated mine or Rosalie's. It wasn't only that he or she felt the same happiness from the sound but that the baby was listening to the meaning.

We were all quiet for awhile, long enough for the baby to gently readjust and fall asleep. I surveyed the room.

Rosalie focused on a red Testarossa go-cart. She estimated the time it would take to retrofit the Ferrari and the baby's growth. _The baby will need a way to get around our yard and fields. It'll be a nice Christmas present. _

Alice was on her laptop computer, editing the photographs we'd taken earlier. Through her mind, I saw one I hadn't known was taken, it was Bella sitting on the couch, her belly showing—the bruises removed. The baby's foot was clearly visible punching through the skin. It was a bitter sweet picture. The wonderful, joyful expression of the baby's vitality was marred by the pain experienced by Bella through the kick.

Jasper continued the research of myths and legends, focusing on the South American Icunas. He had found a sociologist in Boston, who had spent several years with the tribe, and was instant messaging with her.

At the forethought of my attention was Jacob's mind, he hadn't resolved the situation enough to answer my request. He was reflecting on his failed attempt to imprint while he was away. He believed everything he searched for was sitting on the couch, married.

He weighed the options.

_She'd still know me better than anyone who didn't have full access to the inside of my head._

_Leah might be an interesting companion, maybe even a true friend—someone who would stand up for me. But she wasn't my best friend the way that Bella was._

_Aside from the impossible love I feel for Bella, there was also that other bond, and it ran bone deep._

Sam and the Quileute elders had said that Bella's informed decision would not violate the treaty. _But if I, the rightful leader decided otherwise, caused Sam and the other wolves to obey my stronger Alpha command and attack then, it would be done._

She'd be his enemy. Or she'd be his ally. And, he accepted that the distinction was his.

He sighed.

_Fine!_ He thought, feeling hollow by giving up and accepting that she would be changed.

_Go ahead. Save her. As Ephraim's heir, you have my permission, my word, that this will not violate the treaty. The others will just have to blame me. You were right—they can't deny that it's my right to agree to this._

"Thank you." I said so low that Bella didn't hear anything.

_You thanking the baby?_ Jasper thought as he came into the large great room and sat beside Alice.

"Jacob," I said oblivious to Bella as I slightly shook my head.

_This is the first time in weeks, tranquility has filled this room without my help. Glad to see your misery is over._

I smiled. He was right. My only plea was to keep that ugly hag, fate from yielding its murderous desires.

"So," Bella asked, working to be casual with Jacob. "How was your day?"

"Great. Went for a drive. Hung out in the park."

I heard the baby's voice, he was repeating Jacob's words with great vigor. The movement caused Bella to make a face. "Rose?" she asked.

"Again?" Rosalie chuckled.

"I think I've drunk two gallons in the last hour," Bella explained.

Jacob and I both got out of the way while Rosalie came to lift Bella from the couch and take her to the bathroom.

"Can I walk?" Bella asked. "My legs are so stiff."

"Are you sure?" I cautioned, knowing a clumsy accident should be avoided at all costs.

"Rose'll catch me if I trip over my feet." Bella understood my concern and then jokingly said. "Which could happen pretty easily, since I can't see them."

Rosalie set Bella carefully on her feet, keeping her hands right at Bella's shoulders. Bella stretched her arms out in front of her, wincing a little.

"That feels good," she looked over her large belly and sighed with surprise. "Ugh, but I'm huge."

_Wow, she is huge_, Jacob thought. Contrarily, I saw the splendor of her expectant body.

"One more day," she said, and patted the baby inside her womb.

Jacob's thoughts yelled from his hurting heart, but he vowed to hide his pain for another day.

_I will cuddle my godchild on tomorrow,_ Rosalie smiled. _His growth hopefully will be sluggish, unhurried, once he is born. And thankfully, tomorrow Bella will become my sister for life—ending her torturous scent._ Her throat burned with the thirst of having not fed for over two weeks. She buried her desire, turning her thoughts to the baby.

Alice considered the situation._ Edward, I hope you will separate yourself from the baby when Bella delivers—it has been a literal pain having my visions blocked._ I nodded my head, certain that my life—existence was tied more to Bella than the baby.

"All righty, then." Bella chuckled as she readied herself to walk. The cup Bella had left on the sofa tumbled to one side, the dark red blood spilling out onto the pale fabric.

"Whoops--," She squealed as she reached to stop the spill, but Rose, Jacob and I beat her to the cup. —"oh, no!"

But Bella was already in motion, too late to impede her direction. Then the worst tearing, shearing sound was heard. It came from the center of her body.

"Oh!" she wheezed as she passed out flaccid, falling toward the floor.

Thankfully, Rosalie's reflexes were pristine and she caught her in the same instant, preventing a fall. I moved at inhuman speed to face Bella, my hands around her waist and the swell of the baby.

"Bella?" I called and saw that she was unable to answer, her eyelids open but her eyes had rolled back into her head. For less than a tenth of a second, I was unfocused. Rosalie, seeing my panic, secured her hold on Bella.

It was Bella's agonizing scream in that instant that refocused me. It was a scream so ghastly, spine-chilling that no one could doubt the torture behind it. The awful screech was silenced by a gurgle in Bella's throat. Unconscious, her body jerked, a crunching sound could be heard, then her back arched with a sharp snapping noise, a fountain of O positive blood shot out of her mouth and onto my clothing.

The thoughts in the room, Jacob's pain, my stained clothes and the blemished couch were all forgotten. Bella was dying and so was the baby, he had to get out.

E/N - I'm winding down and it looks like this story will only be twenty chapters, because after that point, there's not much Edward without Bella, which makes the story hard to hold my attention. I'm willing to add a few one-shots down the road, so let me know if you have any specific chapters or scenes you'd like me to write, cause I aim to please;-)

E/N2 - I'm really excited about my own Edward story which I will post sometime within the next two weeks, so make me a favorite – the story is going to be a fun read, full of mystery, angst (probably make you want to throw something at me) and a few lemons – I'm lost in that world trying to get to the happy ending that I know is out there and you're welcome to join me.

E/N3 - Thanks for all your comments, I answer them all. I really write for the pleasure of you the reader, so your comments help to make me want to give you something worthwhile to read, even though you already know the story.


	16. Chapter 16 Arrival

All rights belong to Stephenie Meyer.

We're going in hold tight

Rosalie flipped Bella's spastic body into her arms and dashed to the second floor, "The baby is coming, we've got to get him out before he kills her."

I was faster, already in the library, now operating room, preparing. I grabbed the sterilized set of scalpels and placed them on the standing tray near the head of the table, closest to the door. I swooped around the table to the refrigerator, removing medicine and blood. An IV kit was in my hands as Rosalie arrived and placed a convulsive Bella on the table.

Rosalie removed Bella's clothes and unsuccessfully attempted to hold her still. Bella need an anesthesia.

"Morphine!" I yelled at Rosalie.

"Alice, get Carlisle on the phone!" Rosalie screeched.

I quickly inserted a needle into Bella's ghostly white arm, delivering the morphine.

Jacob's thoughts screamed at me as he looked around the room, and took a glance at my naked wife. I wasn't aware he had followed us. She wouldn't like that he was here. _This is not how I wanted to see her._ He thought.

"What's happening, Edward?" Rosalie's question allowed me freedom from the thoughts of the vile dog standing in the room. I was on a mission and I could not be distracted – I had to focus on Bella.

"He's suffocating!" I said as Bella's body continued to flip on the table. "The placenta must have detached!" I must have said it with absolute frenzy as Bella gained consciousness.

"Get him OUT!" she screamed. "He can't BREATHE! Do it NOW!"

I saw the red spots pop out when her scream broke the blood vessels in her eyes. I held her shoulders. We needed to wait for her body to still.

"The morphine," I growled, she'd be in too much pain; her movements were too vibrant, violent—she had to be incapacitated.

"NO! NOW!" Another gush of blood choked off what she was shrieking. I held her head up, desperately trying to clear her mouth so that she could breathe again. Damn.

Alice darted into the room and clipped a little blue earpiece under Rosalie's hair. Then Alice backed away, her gold eyes wide and burning, while Rosalie hissed frantically into the phone.

"Carlisle, the baby is coming, the placenta separated—how do I deliver him?"

"Where's Edward? You've got to do the c-section but don't cut through the placenta, you will lose them both."

"There's already blood pooling underneath her skin; what do I do?" She shouted, determined that the baby had to be delivered. I was trapped holding Bella up in order to impede her drowning. I searched for a tube to clear her airways.

"You've got to cut across Bella's stomach, below the belly button but not too deep." Rosalie grabbed a scalpel from the tray and put it to Bella's trembling stomach.

She was determined to follow Bella's instructions and confused by Carlisle's. It was too soon, the placenta was continuing to move, Bella had to be debilitated, otherwise--

"Let the morphine spread!" I shouted at Rosalie.

"There's no time," Rosalie hissed. "He's dying!"

I was unable to stop her from cutting into Bella's stomach. A fount of vivid crimson gushed out. She'd cut the placenta, Bella jerked, but didn't scream. She was still choking and now she would bleed to death. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I was failing Bella.

I was in between a rock and a hard place, Rosalie would continue to pierce Bella's body until she reached the baby, there'd be too much blood lost. I had to stop Rose, but if I let Bella fall back, she'd choke.

And then confusion overwhelmed Rosalie, she inhaled. The warm red blood gushing from Bella burnt Rosalie's throat. It had been too long since she last fed. I heard her thoughts, her desire to drink. Jacob and I saw the expression on her face shift, saw her lips pull back from her teeth, and her black eyes glint with thirst.

"No, Rose!" It was the most helpless moment of my life.

The ugly harpy had a plan. Rose would drink, if not stopped, every ounce of Bella's blood. Death would be in seconds. The baby's self-expulsion would be next, followed by drowning.

It was akin to the moments of the van sliding across ice to crush Bella to her death, not once or twice but three times.

The uncaring, hateful fates were winning.

But there was one thing the fates did not seem to control – Jacob. He would not allow Rosalie to deliver the fatality. He launched his body, jumping across the table without bothering to phase, hitting Rosalie toward the door. From reflex or defense, Rosalie stabbed him with the scalpel in his right arm.

Jacob did not relent, he smashed his hand against her face, locking her jaw and blocking her airways swinging her body to kick her solidly in her gut. Rose flew into the door frame, buckling one side of it. Then Alice was there, yanking Rosalie by the throat to get her into the hall.

Bella was turning blue.

"Alice, get her out of here!" I shouted. "Take her to Jasper and keep her there!"

I moved quickly to Rose's place at the table, "Jacob, I need you!"

"CPR?" I demanded. Yes the fates had not counted on Jacob's love for Bella. We would work together and save her life. I didn't understand why he was here, but I was grateful that he was and I would never send him away. I'd owe him her life. Again.

"Yes!"

Grateful as I was, I'd underestimated how easily he could make things difficult. He didn't immediately trust me. He wasted time judging whether I would lose control as Rose had. I shook my head in answer to his concern and grabbed another scalpel from the tray.

"Get her breathing!" I shouted, there was no time to doubt me, not now. "I've got to get him out before-"

As if the fates heard my own traitorous thoughts, there was a squelching, shattering crack of bones inside Bella's body that resonated throughout the room. The crunching of bones was the loudest yet, so loud that Jacob and I, both froze in shock. We waited for Bella's answering shriek. Nothing. Her legs, which had been curled up in agony, now went limp, sprawling out in an unnatural way. Her mouth was deepening from cobalt to black and her eyes were fixed and glossing over.

"Her spine," The horrors would not cease. Her body was noticeably smaller, disjointed and too still. The morphine had temporarily paralyzed her but the damage to her spine would be permanent.

"Get it out of her! She won't feel anything now!" Jacob finally began breathing into her mouth, air filled her lungs.

I made an incision across her stomach. Blood continued to cascade to the floor. For once, I was grateful for the unusual amount of increased blood in her system—so much blood that it caused the irreparable heart damage, but enough to keep her heart beating.

Once the stomach and uterine muscles were pulled back, I was able to see the crimson covered vampire-like skin protecting the baby. There were punctures and scratches on all sides, but the baby wasn't visible. Swiftly, I bit several times along the puncture marks, the wet round head was free. I wheeled the head around. The same chocolate brown eyes that had captured my heart two years ago were looking up at me.

I heard Bella cough and I turned my head as Jacob began to yell at her, desperately. "You stay with me now, Bella! Do you hear me? Stay! You're not leaving me. Keep your heart beating!"

There was no more time, I removed the baby's lifeline and protection; the baby's legs began to kick and press forward, I directed the shoulders through the opening. The baby was free. Bella's body no longer under assault, the morphine masked her pain.

I slid the baby in the cradle of my left arm. My emotions were too jumbled but I would not be held hostage by them. The baby was safe and the joy of the moment was bitter as her mother lay dying.

"Renesmee." I whispered. In return her mind connected my voice with the one she'd heard in the womb. An alert smile was offered and I could not resist but to smile at my daughter.

What a mesmerizing wondrous sight she was. She had curly hair, a puckered smile and she smelled like cool honeysuckles. I could hear her quick heartbeats thrumming, pushing blood throughout her warm body. Her skin was white with rose hews--there would be blushes. She was her mother's daughter.

I looked at my wife, surprised to see her eyes opened attempting to focus. "Let me-" Bella croaked in a broken whisper. "Give her to me."

Again, my wife did the unexpected. Any normal human would be unconscious, but this woman was beyond human. Her determination conquered all obstacles including the impossible. Here in my arms was our daughter and my eyes beheld my wife, conscious – willing herself to stay alive; forcing her heart to beat. Ah!

Everything in my pitiful existence was before my eyes. My family, my purpose, my future, oh how love overwhelmed my cold heart and I knew I was forever changed once again by the brown eyed beauties before me.

Bella, blinked her eyes to see the newest addition, the baby we didn't expect, but welcomed. There was a weak recognition of something in her brittle arms and then she was able to focus her eyes on the baby.

"Renesmee." She greeted our daughter. "So- beautiful." For the second time in her life, Renesmee smiled, as she had done for me, showing a full set of milk teeth. She recognized her mother's voice. I read the baby's mind as she bonded with the sound of Bella's voice. It was the melodious sound that calmed Renesmee and she grabbed the air around her in a gasp of wonderment. The air rushed through her small nose and Renesmee felt a burn in her throat, the same burn her father experienced. And for all that's good in the world, there was no way to stop the nature of an infant vampire at the smell of blood. I failed.

Renesmee pulled her lips away and sunk her teeth into Bella's chest.

Bella gasped- gasped in pain. Shock.

I snatched Renesmee away from her mother, too late to prevent the bite. The small double crescent teeth marks shone red.

"No, Renesmee," I said gently. How many more mistakes would I make? It was my fault and I would not blame this innocent child for being her father's daughter. She looked up at me, her eyes turned sad, she pictured her mother, bloody and in pain. My daughter would not be the cause of her mother's change or death. I would suck out the venom. My daughter would have no guilt or a role in this matter, that bite would neither kill nor change her mother. That was my job.

"She'll get better," I promised my beautiful daughter. We would not be without her.

The most significant sound in my world ceased. My head snapped up as I heard only two heartbeats in the house, where there should be three. Both hearts were quick paced and strong—Bella's was silent. I growled and in that instant Jacob began chest compressions. He counted, _One. Two. Three. Four._ He blew another lungful of air into her. He'd found his rhythm.

"What are you waiting for?" He choked out breathlessly, pumping her heart again. _One. Two. Three. Four._

I realized we weren't thoroughly prepared for the baby, there was no bassinette or cradle to place her in. Urgently, I demanded, "Take the baby,"

"Throw it out the window." _One. Two. Three. Four._

"Give her to me," a low voice chimed from the doorway. I turned to see Rosalie standing at the threshold, her eyes still dark with thirst.

Jacob and I snarled at the same time. _One. Two. Three. Four._

"I've got it under control," Rosalie promised. "Give me the baby, Edward. I'll take care of her until Bella . . ." _I'm sorry Edward, I'm focused—the baby will be safe. I wouldn't . . ._

There was no choice, I quickly handed the baby through the door to the waiting hands of Rosalie and they were gone.

I rushed to the surgical table and grabbed the metal syringe; it was time to fulfill my end of the bargain. "Move your hands, Jacob."

He paused, "What's that?"

He was wasting time, I had to do this before her heart completely failed – I had to save her. He wouldn't stop me, he would not prevent me from changing her, yet his hand remained in the way. Was he in cohorts with the ugly fates?

I forced his large hands out of the way and shoved the needle straight into Bella's heart. A tiny crunch let me know I had broken his little finger. He would heal. He was still making things much too difficult – he didn't trust me, but it was too late for him to do anything else.

"My venom," I answered as I pushed the plunger down.

"Keep it moving," I ordered. Thankfully, Jacob continued CPR without further resistance.

I focused on getting as much venom into Bella's system as possible. I could smell the morphine and venom as it spread through her veins. I was focused and determined – her heart would be the first thing to heal.

Renesmee was counting on me to save her mother, Bella was counting on me as well, just as Alice had surmised. I could not make any further mistakes, so many people counted on me – damn even I counted on me.

I broke Bella's skin at the wrists and ankles, allowing more venom to flow from my mouth. I was too controlled, too focused to acknowledge the burning in my own throat.

My own personal heroin addiction was conquered as the sweet smell of her blood was merged with my poison.

I bit her in as many places as possible and where my tongue washed the venom over her skin, it sealed shut, holding the poison and the changing blood inside her body. The forced air and heart compressions were the only thing keeping her alive, but soon the toxin would take control and repair the damages to her heart-- if we weren't too late. . .

I waited for the fates to try to complete their diabolical death plans. They failed with Rosalie; with Renesmee's bite and birth; and all that was left was the destruction of her heart.

And the fates continued the battle. Her heart was not working on its own. Had I put too much venom directly into the heart? Did I give her too much pain killer? Had a been a willing hand for the fates?

She was counting on me, so I continued working on her, pushing the dread to another compartment in my brain, far behind the thirst. No longer would I be held captive by the bad luck, hateful harpy.

The c-section incisions were sealed, the excess blood dissolved. Even Renesmee's bite mark was sealed. With Bella's body infused with my venom, her skin healing, I took an unnecessary breath, and examined her forced heart beats.

Jacob was losing faith. His grief filled his head and shouted, _All the king's horses and all the king's men--_

The thoughts spiraled into defeat, the same dread I'd pushed away. _Working over a corpse_. And then something I never thought would happen, he gave up. He released his love, his need, his friendship and his hold for her. And then the sorry son of a dog encouraged me to do the same. _She's gone._

I compared his release, lost to my stronger pull, understanding. I had to be with her. His was love was vacant and lost. Mine was sure, powerful and alive.

She existed.

_I don't need to be near this dead mangled corpse, the girl we both loved is dead, gone. I long to get away from here and never, ever come back._

And again, I'd throw him a lifeline; free him from his unnecessary grief and get his blasphemous thoughts out of my mind.

"Go, then," I growled as I knocked his hands out of the way and took his place. Three fingers broken, it felt like.

I pushed her heart faster than he had – I knew its rhythm. I understood it like no other sound in the world. I knew each phase of the pulse that caused the valves to open and close, forcing blood through her body. Yes it was my job to be her heart. I would. The compressions would not cease. I would never tire, never stop until her completed transformation. I would be her heart for as long as it took, three days or three years. She would survive.

"She's not dead," I growled. "She's going to be fine." This was all in my capable hands and there was nothing that would stop me from keeping her heart going. No thirst, no harpies, no monster. Nothing. I began counting the heartbeats I gave her. I applied pressure to the rhythm I would recognize from miles away. She would be fine, I knew it because nothing would stop me.

Jacob turned and walked away, questioning whether I was talking to him. He felt pity for me, but I no longer cared for his feelings, only that he would depart with his hateful thoughts. He walked slowly down the stairs, one step for every ten compressions.

Alice and Jasper stood still by the window wall, breathing and marveling.

Rosalie had just fed the baby. I heard Renesmee's heart beating quickly, sturdy. It's rhythm faster than Jacob's. And then Jacob's thoughts -- his decision hit me like a stone wall.

_Sam had been right. The thing was an aberration-its existence went against nature. A black, soulless demon. Something that had no right to be. The thing that had killed Bella and could not live another minute longer._

He was going to attack Renesmee, he had made his decision. But how could he make such a decision, hadn't he seen the baby? Didn't he know that she was not what we thought? And then realization hit me – he'd only seen the baby's bite mark.

I had to protect the baby but I could not leave Bella – her heart would not continue.

I pictured the fates with their heads thrown back over their necks, laughing at me. I had to chose - protect Renesmee and Bella would die or stay with Bella and Renesmee would die. How could I choose?

In situations of danger, I turned to Alice. She would see the future. I searched her thoughts, and the pictures of the future baffled me.

I was standing in the lawn by the ancient trees, tossing something invisible above my head, laughing out loud as I caught it, pulling it close to my chest and squeezing. There was someone beside me, a vampire.

The scene changed to Rosalie sitting in the lawn rolling a ball forward to the same invisible space, the ball returned from the space. Rosalie was laughing, happy and then a grimace crossed her face.

And then I realized that Jacob's murderous plot would not succeed. He would not carry out the task that the fates demanded.

Something would impede his actions, cause him to turn completely from his intentions.

There was no need to alert my family, Bella and the baby would be fine.

I continued pressing on Bella's chest, the blood and venom flowing, changing her.

I listened to Jacob's thoughts.

_Perfect. The new position was perfect for my strike._ He leaned forward and felt the heat begin to change him. The pull toward the baby grew- it was stronger than he'd ever felt it before, so strong it reminded him of an Alpha's command.

I went into Renesmee's mind. She was staring past Rosalie's shoulder at Jacob. Her gaze was more focused than any newborn's gaze should be, she had acute vision. The aroma that entered the room mesmerized her.

Jacob stared back and saw Renesmee's warm brown eyes, the color of milk chocolate- the exact same color that Bella's had been.

Renesmee saw that Jacob jerked to a stop. Her eyes froze.

Jacob felt heat flood through him, stronger than the phasing burn, but it was a new kind of heat- not a burning.

He recognized it as a glowing.

He released everything that held him to his life. Everything that made him who he was- his love for Bella, his love for his father, his loyalty to his new pack, the love for his other brothers, his hatred for his enemies, his home, his name, his self- disconnected.

It was frightening to him to be so broken, lost.

Then he felt a new, stronger connection.

He'd found something more to hold him to life, to the universe.

He imprinted. He stared at the object of that new found connection. A half-vampire, half human, brown eyed baby girl.

Renesmee.

I cursed.

I froze for a second, less time than that.

Bella's heart had been repaired, changed. Her heart would never beat the same. Her blood song ceased.

I returned my full attention to Renesmee's thoughts. She had control over her thirst.

It would never force her to rampage the human population or destroy the ones she loved.

La tua cantante. Jacob.

Damn fates.

A/N – The next chapters will be a little different because it's hard to ignore the entire purpose of the story – Edward and Bella live happily ever after as equals

A/N2 Comments are welcomed


	17. Chapter 17 Part I Welcome

A/N I really love the two points of view as written by SM (who owns all things twilight) re the transformation and birth and I didn't want to lose the essence of Bella's painful transformation (which is one the quintessential story lines for me) because of Edward's inability to read her thoughts. Problematic for me was how to write about Jacob's epiphanies, Edward's fragile competence, Renesmee's awareness, Rosalie's horrific breakdown, Bella's transformation etc. . . You get the picture. The only way I could do it without switching POV several times (which gets confusing for me) or writing a 50,000 word chapter was to write from a narrator's point of view.

Her quietness was unsettling to him. He wasn't used to her body remaining motionless. Humans always were in motion, especially shy fidgeting Bella. He couldn't understand, couldn't make sense of why her body was dormant. No screams. No twitches. No indication of life or awareness.

Bella on the other hand was bewildered. Exactly that—bewildered. How did the pain change from tortuous sharp to scalding hot? Why was her body still? There was an invisible shield pinning her down into the soft thin mattress. No part of her body would respond to commands to move, not a finger or an eyelash. If she could move, she'd fly across the room straight out the door into the nearest coolest pool of ice cold water she could find. But she couldn't move. The pain although changed was enormously overwhelming and she could not figure out a thing, especially her inability to move.

Their minds tried to reject the silence, the stillness. They fought for clarity, Edward from his worry and Bella from her confusion. Was this the quiet after the storm or were they in the eye of the storm – it was difficult for the both of them to discern, mainly because only moments earlier there was screeching loud noises of pain, agony, and intermittent consciousness. They could deal with the noisy crisis – they were used to solving such problems. The squelch from brakes applied inexpertly causing a van to slide and spin out, the roars of new born vampires, tears of separation and threatening words from ancients. Yes, they were used to the sounds of danger, well recognized. But the silence was too much, unnatural and confusing.

But for Edward, it didn't truly matter whether there was silence or screaming. The miserable moments of her battle to give birth, haunted him, just as much as the silence. He tried to divide the two into parts, seeking some release from the strain of worry that accompanied the silence. He searched hard to find some comfort, for Bella's sake. Yes, it was good she'd seen the baby, good that she was not aware and good that each eternal minute brought her closer to her return to him. But no matter how much good he could create out of this unsettling and forbidden situation, the bad would always haunt him. In particular, he had failed her, by his mere stubbornness. His flaw led her to this quiet, dark place and for the first time since he'd married, he felt utterly and completely incompetent and alone, not even the monster would keep him company.

Where would he find his strength? How could he carry on without her? He'd done the fates handiwork and now she was being punished. He lowered his head and prayed to the fates, his enemy … _take me instead, punish me – free her from my curse._

Edward searched for Bella's thoughts, for her voice, for a microscopic movement, for any sign that she was aware of his presence, his touch or his love. His search was in vain because Bella did not want to be found, not in this condition, not under these circumstances and not because of his alleged failure.

Bella was more aware than Edward was able to discern. She tried to separate her suffering. Her torturous dark screams from the delivery from her silent bright torment of the venom. Bella wanted to understand the difference between her waking and unconsciousness, but it all was too confusing, too close in time and too painful. The incessant molten flames of the venom flowing to every part of her small body made the task of understanding impossible, so she chose the darkness.

How did they get to this place?

They had both been happy, hopeful just hours before. Edward was gloating, even if he didn't admit it openly. Every time someone glanced at the two of them wrapped around each other on the coach, he'd smooth a protective hand across Bella's middle. Whenever a thought matched the glance, not only would Edward caress Bella's pregnant mound, he'd also kiss her. Yes, he was gloating and marking his territory. She understood what he was doing and loved him the more for it, always returning a smile at his touch.

But now they were alone in the makeshift operating room. Edward sat head hung, eyes closed and frozen on a stool beside the thinly mattressed hospital table. One hand quickly moved to wipe his forehead forming a tent on the bridge of his nose, the other hand wrapped around Bella's palm.

Bella was on her back, legs and arms at her side. Her body was stiff, exactly like what one would find in a casket. Dead still. But there was a difference. Her heart was beating, not that Bella was aware of the difference. It would be hours before she was aware of anything other than the molten flames flowing throughout her body, and days before Edward would see her move.

And so the two were statues – Aphrodite and Adonis. Stone marble statues, unable to communicate with one another. Silent. Still. Inert. Tragic art.

Before the statues took their perpetual watch, Alice had been summoned to the room to sit with Bella. _What a disaster!_ She thought. The floor and surfaces were covered in Bella's blood, remains of the birth lay across the standing tray, the umbilical cord dangling to the floor, and Bella lay nude in her own sweat and tears. _My brother had better have a good reason for leaving her like this._

Alice gently carried Bella to her large bathroom, the same place where Bella was groomed for the wedding. "Let's see if we can't get you cleaned up." She said with loving kindness, careful not to cause any damage.

_I'm sorry you're going through this, but it's nice to know we'll always be sisters. _Alice talked to Bella as she washed away the dried blood and cleaned and styled Bella's hair. Alice chirped cheerfully about the baby. "She has your eyes and thick curly hair. Her smile is magical. She has the most interesting way of telling you what she wants, and right now, she wants you to get better." Alice's lips trembled as she remembered the stories of the horrible pain experienced by the others during their transformations. Alice despaired. She wanted to tell Bella how long the pain would last, to describe how strikingly beautiful she would be and to tell her of the happily ever after she would share with Edward, but she couldn't. Alice couldn't say those things because she couldn't see them. Her vision was crippled and Alice was unsure if it was because Bella had no future or because her future was wrapped tightly around the baby.

Even the fuzzy vision of Edward laughing up to the sky in the meadow didn't include Bella - but it didn't exclude Bella either.

"I've seen Edward laughing in the meadow." She said the only truth she knew and understood it had to be enough, because Edward was so … Edward. He would be brooding, sad and tormented if he was without Bella. He would never smile and feel joy if she was beyond him. No matter what happiness Renesmee brought him, it would always be marred by Bella's absence and never reflected in the full belly laugh he was certain to have soon.

Alice garnered her internal despair and cast it to the side. She wouldn't worry about the things she couldn't see in the future, after all everyone else seemed to get along well without knowing the future and so could she, at least while she was alone with Bella. And by telling Bella of the blurry scene in the meadow, there would be some tiny hope for the future Bella had sacrificed for, even if she didn't hear Alice's words.

"I hope you'll have a better fashion sense once you've changed."Alice teased as she painted Bella's finger and toe nails a gentle pink. "You're going to look stunning, better than all of us. People will be wowed when they see you and Edward together, not that I can see that future right now, but it's obvious." Yes, Alice would talk like any other person about a future she was uncertain of. There was hope.

_This outfit looks perfect and now for Cinderella's slippers. _"I still can't see the baby's future, but yours will become clearer. Edward's was first probably because I'm so familiar with him. I guess you're ready to go back to your husband." _Smells like someone cleaned up in there. Good!_

"Thank you, Alice." Edward said, when she laid Bella back on the clean crisp white sheets of the hospital bed.

"You're welcome. Why did you leave?"

"I had to talk to Jacob – I really don't know what we will do about him."

"What do you mean?" Edward had been admiring his wife but he turned to Alice, aware that she didn't know about the imprint.

"Jacob believes Renesmee is his eternal mate. The Quiluete people 'imprint' on one person and become loyal and committed to that one person for the rest of their lives. When he saw her, he tied his life to hers."

"Flying widgets!" Alice had never been more surprised by a future in her entire existence and was certain nothing would ever cause her more shock. She shook her head in amazement.

"The good thing is that he won't let the wolves attack her. The bad news is that I want to kill him and I don't think Renesmee or Bella would ever forgive me for it."

"What?" _What does Renesmee know? She's an infant, she won't remember._

"I've read her thoughts Alice. She loves him, she did from the time she heard his voice from the womb. He sings to her." He turned to look at Bella. Oh how Edward hurt. Jacob's imprint had meant that he wouldn't pine for Bella. That Edward was fully the victor. But now, Jacob's love would steal his daughter away – maybe not at first, but over time she'd leave her father for the man she loved. How akin he felt to Charlie. But he couldn't focus on those things now.

_I'm so sorry Edward. _"Well, together we'll handle the situation." Alice trilled too flabbergasted to say much more about Jacob, mainly because it meant he would be around more and her vision would remain impaired at those times. She determined that she'd just have to find a way to see around him. "I'm just glad my best friend will finally be immortal."

"Renesmee didn't leave me with much of a choice." He chuckled, glad for the change of subject. "Neither did Bella."

"Yeah, Renesmee showed us. So, she bit her?"

"Yes, I thought she was venomous at first, but she's not. It was my venom." Edward looked up at Alice, he raised his eyebrow. "What do you mean, Renesmee showed you?"

"Well, I guess you wouldn't notice, seeing as how you can read her mind. But for the rest of us, she forces us to see what she wants."

"How?" He said it slowly, intrigued that his daughter could have a talent.

"She gives us images. Mostly she's shown us Bella – she really does need a different image of her mother, the one she shows is really dreadful." Alice remembered the picture Renesmee showed.

Edward shook the vision out of his thoughts. It was horrid. "I'm not following you, how does she show you things?"

"Well, she puts her hand to your cheek and then you can see what she's thinking or what she wants. Like I said, it's mostly Bella, but your picture shows up too, along with her cup."

"Really?" Edward could barely control his emotions. Proud father. Adored daughter. Cherished child.

"Yeah, she's quite demanding." Alice smiled. She recalled how Renesmee told her it was time to eat. Edward watched her memories and smiled.

_Guess everything will work out fine somehow, you both deserve it. _Alice thought. "I wish I could tell you how Jacob will fit into all of this but I can't see him or the baby's future."

"Well, we'll just have to do what everybody else has done, let the future come."

_Is that my brother, the eternal pessimist speaking? You're not mad at me then? _

"No, Alice. You've been more patient than anyone else with me and my weird possessiveness over all things Bella, but now she won't be so vulnerable. I'm no longer her biggest threat. So no matter what happens, they are safer."

_You never would have killed, you know. You have too much control, integrity and self awareness for that._

Edward smirked knowing how close he'd been to ending the pregnancy, just hours before the birth. No, he didn't agree that he wouldn't have killed, but it was no longer an option as far as the baby and Bella were concerned. Bella would become a vampire and that tentative twinge of hope was what he'd hold onto.

"The girls in my life overwhelm me." He said simply. It was true there was nothing more certain in his mind than the belief that he would do whatever he could to make sure his family was happy, but he would not hold anyone else accountable. It was his responsibility and he wanted to – needed to handle it himself. He'd been an errant child too long – he would man his family.

"She's already changing. I hope I'm here to see what she thinks of her new looks."

"I promise you'll be here." He gave a weary smile and stared at his wife.

Alice skipped out of the room, "Let me know when the baby can see her mother."

Edward forced air through his mouth. It had been a surreal hour.

Right when the venom repaired Bella's heart and before Jacob could fully grasp the implications of the imprint, Edward swooped him out the door, yelling for Alice to stay with Bella.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Jacob?" Edward threw him towards the tree line. Jacob's landed against several saplings, bending them over into a bow.

"Edward, I don't know. It's not like I had a choice. You know - " Jacob easily hopped up on his feet.

"Jacob, I don't understand what is going on in that pea size muscle you call a brain but you'd better stay the hell away from my daughter!" Edward's eyes were furiously black. He stalked low toward Jacob, ready to pounce. He had experienced so many different emotions over the last few hours that it was nearly impossible for him to not go for Jacob's throat.

"I didn't ask for this, but I can't fight it -" Jacob held up his hands as if to surrender. He walked towards Edward. "—it's like the baby is family to me, I want her safe and happy and nothing else matters but making those two things happen. "

Edward barely heard Jacob's words, he was so emotionally drained that all he could do was take an unnecessary breath, stop the attack and go back to Bella. "I don't want you here. I'm not able to deal with this right now, you should leave." Edward sounded like the old man that he was, full of patience and wisdom rather than the unstable vampire ready to unleash his primal instincts against his mortal enemy, his wife's best friend and now - his daughter's future.

"Okay, can I at least hold – " Jacob saw the dark glare in Edward's eyes and realized the folly in asking to see the baby. "Sure, sure I'll go. I need to stop the Quileute attack anyway."

Both men turned to see Seth come into the front yard wearing the same khaki pants and shirt he'd worn on previous occasions, Leah was a few paces behind in wolf form.

"Jacob, you alright?" Seth asked. _Edward finally threw you out of the house, looks like he still wants to hurt you._

"Yeah, I'm fine." Jacob motioned for Seth and Leah to stop the advance.

"How's Bella?" Seth asked Edward, hoping to calm the palpable tension.

"Bella's still recovering. She's going to be fine, thank you for asking Seth." He glared at Jacob, annoyed he hadn't asked.

"She's alive?" Jacob was so sure that she'd died and Edward's behavior seemed to reflect that. But Jacob was so enthralled with Renesmee that he didn't take the time to really evaluate Edward's behavior.

"I told you before, she's going to be fine."

Jacob took a sigh of relief and explored his feelings. He felt different about Bella, no longer helplessly in love, no longer stuck in an unrequited love affair. "Wow. She won't be the same though?"

"She'll be immortal."

"Good, good. The baby will need her mother and father. I'm glad she won't be an orphan. It wouldn't be good for her to be raised by Rosalie alone." _The more people to love her - the better she'll grow up._

Edward barely took note of Jacob's thoughts. He wanted to get back in and be with Bella. He would not allow Jacob to usurp his family so completely. "I've got to get back to Bella, you'd better leave."

"Yeah, yeah. You do that. I'll go talk with Sam." _The pack will never attack the object of an imprint. I'll keep her safe Edward._

Edward shook his head, why did it feel like Jacob had just dismissed him and was now in control? "This imprint, I don't like."

"Don't be so pessimistic. Bella will be fine with it, she understands. Just wait and see." Jacob smiled.

"I don't know." Edward controlled his voice, the longer he was away from Bella the less his thoughts were focused. She was lying in a tragic state of pain, her surroundings a mess. He needed to clean away the pain, the remnants of the birth and the past torments.

"Well, let me handle Bella. It's what was meant to be." _You'll be fine with it when Bella is._

"I'll let you tell Bella, but that's all I'm agreeing to for now. You better leave." It was the last time he'd tell him before he'd take action to remove him from his home. Thankfully for Jacob, he didn't linger but took off to the woods and transformed. _It will work out fine Edward don't worry. We're like brothers remember? Comrades and friends – they will never be in danger and we won't let anything harm them. They'll be happy Edward because of us._

When Carlisle and Esme returned home, Jacob managed to finagle himself inside next to Renesmee.

Rosalie was taking her godmother obligations seriously. But now, Jacob had appointed himself as godfather, which was an extremely lose interpretation of his imprint. Edward was too dispirited to kick him out of the house again, unsure whether Esme would allow such a thing.

That was ten hours ago, and Bella hadn't moved a millimeter. Edward lowered his face into his hands, lamenting his actions that brought Bella and him to the quiet still place. There were no distractions from his grief. There was no comfort in remembering the attempted self-extraction of the baby.

Was he successful?

Would she awaken, anew?

Is she in pain?

Why doesn't she move?

It was her pristine heart that kept the doubts from overwhelming Edward, that, plus the hummingbird heartbeats of Renesmee.

Change had come on so fast.

One moment, they were hopeful, certain that everything would be as it should. Bella would survive the birth. They would be a family.

And then one tiny, inconsequential spill had snowballed into the horrid finale. He didn't take the cup from her hands, as he had done on so many other occasions . . . He was too late to stop the momentum of the ripping and searing of the attack on Bella's body. It was the ultimate, relentless sound, one his perfect vampire memory would not allow him to forget.

Nothing would stop the ravages that followed.

Her past hurts, no matter how small, they'd shared and survived. But this new pain was different: it broke their hope.

Bella's shouts, spasms, and agony seared through their existence and would have left them both insane, but there was something that jarred them back to reason.

The baby.

Bella's scream roused survival instincts in the baby, a small voice, unable to deduce, only heard by Edward and felt by Bella.

Fear overwhelmed the novice thinker, followed by rage for the loss of serenity.

Up. Down. Around. Around. The baby searched for that which went missing.

The baby repeated the words coming from beyond the dark place. The placenta must have detached!

Edward felt mocked at the soft utterance of his own words.

The baby hoped and listened to Edward's voice. The search stopped. It was a short-lived expectation, ripped apart by Bella's screams.

"Get him out!" Bella's body convulsed at the excruciating pain, but it was all inconsequential to the life of her child."He can't breathe! Do it now!"Bella demanded in between her gasps for air. Bella was drowning, and Edward was there, helping her to breathe.

The baby started thrashing around, searching for an exit. The placenta was failing.

Rosalie was focused. She had to follow Bella's directions; it's what she'd want done. She reached for the scalpel confused by Carlisle's instructions. Why didn't Edward do this? He was the one with medical degrees. He was useless she thought.

But Edward knew triage. The placenta would provide small amounts of oxygen and food for several more minutes to the baby. Bella on the other hand was dying, there was not enough oxygen getting to her system and her heart was becoming more erratic. A c-section could rupture the placenta, Bella need to be immobile first.

_"__The morphine—"_ The baby repeated.

"No! Now—"Bella screamed, popping blood vessels in her eyes. Why would he wait for painkillers when the baby is dying?

Fear enveloped the baby.

There was no understanding at the words the baby replicated: _Let the morphine spread. There's no time. He's dying. No, Rose._

Rose didn't have the patience to follow Edward's instructions. It was a poor decision on her part because when she cut through Bella's abdomen, she ruptured the placenta causing a fount of blood to flow.

It was then that Rosalie panicked and lost control. The smell and sight of Bella's warm blood caused the venom in Rose's mouth to well and her throat to desiccate. Rosalie pulled her lips back away from her teeth, focused her eyes on the blood, and leaned in to drink.

Jacob quickly subdued Rosalie.

The baby's thoughts shouted back at Edward as soon as the words crossed his lips. _Alice, get her out of here. Take her to Jasper and keep her there! Jacob, I need you! CPR! Get her breathing! I've got to get him out before_

The adrenaline that no longer flowed through Bella's body seemed to concentrate inside the baby.

Adrenaline combined with self-preservation could not produce an image clear enough to discern the physical reactions within the baby.

Human senses exponentially increased.

Potential suffocation forced non-functional lungs to scream awake gasping for the air no longer supplied by the damaged placenta.

Muscles coiled and sprung. A loud shattering crack followed.

Bella was still. Rigid. Her heart no longer a steady pounding. "Her spine." Edward's words stuck in his throat.

"Get it out of her! She won't feel anything now!" Jacob shouted as he pressed to keep Bella's heart pumping.

The baby wanted to flee the dying incommodious place.

Screeching. Scraping. The sounds were so loud and so close.

Then the baby saw a light and felt cold hands. Lungs filled with air. The baby felt safe.

_Renesmee._ She thought her name as he said it.

The brown eyed small voice had a name and Edward was the first to call her by it and she gazed above her in wonder.

A/N I've posted early – just for my friends. I've had to split this chapter up – it was way too long so the next will focus on Renesmee's first moments of life, from the narrator's pov and will be posted on Tuesday. Let me know what you think I'm very anxious.


	18. Chapter 17 Part II Welcome Again

A/N - SM owns all things Twilight

A/N2 - As promised here is the second part of chapter 17

* * *

_Renesmee. She thought her name as he said it. _

_The brown eyed small voice had a name and Edward was the first to call her by it and she gazed above her in wonder._

Renesmee did not cry, not one tear flowed from her chocolate brown eyes. There was no screaming either. Edward worried that she had inherited his inability to cry, but in the same thought vowed never to allow anything to happen that would make her shed a tear. It would not do for an angel to cry. As for the screaming, he would be forever grateful if the loudest sound she'd make was her laughter, hopefully produced by something he said, did or shared. Yes, he'd welcome her sounds of joy.

The baby was a mystery to him. All newborns cried and screamed, but not his and he could hardly wait to get to know her better. He marveled at her warmth, she was warmer than her mother and she breathed in quick, startled pants, sure to calm once she was used to her new surroundings. Her eyes were open, her expression exploring, cataloging.

The child maintained her stare at her father and he could see the fear of the last few minutes wane into recognition. Her thoughts were gentle and pure. There was a low purring coming from her throat and Edward knew she was happy, glad to be away from the small, small dark place.

It was intoxicating to hold her, she smelled like sunshine and marshmallows, all in a very vampire way but her human blood carried its own scent, unusual but not calling to his bloodlust. Ah he thought, there is a hint of her mother in her blood, very subtle – not enough to call his thirst. An angel graced his arms. She was not the monster, he'd imagined just days ago, not even close.

This was not a soulless creature.

She was the evidence of love. In less than a hundredth of a second, his dead heart grew and a single beat was made or maybe it was just his nervousness at holding a new born.

He would never doubt the existence of his soul – for only those with an essence could have a part in producing someone such as Renesmee. Never having held a baby before, he cradled her in the hook of his arm and her legs dangled to the side. She was sturdy and fragile at the same time. He used the same careful touch he'd had to use with Bella.

Renesmee was alert and able to focus on her surroundings. She was able to recall the stress of her birth but she was easily distracted by her father. She didn't know the words to use and her ears longed to hear the voices she'd heard from the womb so she could describe what she saw. She was comfortable in his arms, surprisingly because his was so much colder than she, but Renesmee loved the physical contact and studied his face with intensity. She'd always know him, he was important. It would be a few hours before she understood her feelings as love, but for now, she relished the joy of his smell, his touch and his soothing voice.

When Edward bent to kiss her forehead, she reached her hand to his face. She thought this was better and she shared with him the images of himself. Edward chuckled at the images of his determination to save her from certain death. "Yes, Renesmee, you're safe."

And to Edward it seemed like there was an eternity of experiences between them, when in actuality it was less than a minute. He heard Bella asked to see the baby and with no hesitation, he placed her in her mother's arms. He could not contain the wealth of adoration that surrounded his heart in the vision of his wife and daughter. The beauty and perfection he beheld would hold the universe together much longer than his existence.

At that moment, like no other, he longed to hear Bella's thoughts! What did she think of the little curly haired beauty in her arms? Like always, he'd have to observe Bella's actions that truly told him everything he needed to know. She petted the baby's downy soft hair. "Renesmee" she whispered, lovingly. The mother-child love affair began, steeped in joy and mutual awe.

Bella blinked, clearing away the tears, strain and semi-conscious. She was so very tired, bone weary and exhausted. Her arms were limp and she could feel nothing below her waist. Dazed from the medicine or her ability to block out unpleasantness, she sought to focus on her daughter, the half-Edward, half-her that lay across her chest. She recognized the smooth skin, the alert brown eyes and the face so like her father's … gentle yet angular and plump. "So beautiful."

Renesmee was in full worship of her mother, able to recognize the voice that had lulled her to sleep, cooed her to happiness and calmed her when frightened. Once connected by an umbilical cord, their love affair would bind them together for eternity – daughter to mother and mother to daughter.

Although Renesmee understood her feelings of love, it was her new physical senses, barely minutes aware that she examined safe in the arms of her mother. She instinctually knew her mother would be her first teacher. So, Renesmee with the trust of a child, examined her mother. Renesmee welcomed her mother's warmth and smell – it was so sweet. Her mother's eyes were brown and with acute clarity Renesmee saw deep into her mother's soul and smiled.

Renesmee, being an infant, although extraordinary, was unused to denying her wants. Her uncontrolled thirst caused her to act before her mind fully understood the movement. Her mouth already glaring with a smile, she sunk her milk teeth into Bella's pallid skin, so like cutting butter. There was a hot flow of blood. Renesmee drank.

Then her mother was gone.

_No Renesmee._ She understood and repeated his words. Her lips puckered, wanting more blood or more bonding – it was unclear which. Oh she was unhappy with the loss of her mother, loss of the warmth and the sweet taste in her mouth. She was quickly distracted. She looked up and explored her father's face, his voice and in return she was no longer discontent. It was safe to be in his arms and she marveled at the coolness.

The pain from the bite sent Bella into cardiac arrest. Edward shivered at his error.

Jacob's hope was fading. The woman they loved was dying.

"You stay with me now, Bella! Do you hear me? Stay!" Jacob screamed.

Bella could hear the plea but was unable to answer. Her mind moved into the dark of unconsciousness. The dark was her favorite place but the light was where Jacob was demanding that she stay. The dark was peaceful and pain free and that is where she lingered.

There was nothing in the bright for her. Why was Jacob calling her there?

But it was easier in the dark. Did the dark mean her heart wasn't beating? She reached for awareness and found pressure on her chest, a steal bar pounding.

It was familiar, like the time she'd almost drowned - when he was away.

Edward.

The pain was searing through her middle, it was unbearable and she knew she was dying. _"I'll follow as soon as I can."_ He'd said.

No, Edward could not die. Oh how the darkness called to her, a safe harbor and she willed herself to go and would welcome Edward when he followed.

"_I will not lose my son."_ Carlisle's words rang out to Bella. How could she take away his beloved son? Esme's son. Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie would never forgive them. How could she allow a world without Edward?

And Alice would grieve inconsolably for centuries. How could she do that, the pain grew more intense, clinching her heart and searing her head. Bella could not fight. The Cullens would …

Bella remembered the warm feeling in her arms. The beautiful child in her mind's eye. Renesmee was worth staying away from the dark. How could she return? Bella was so weak …

"You're not leaving me. Keep your heart beating!" Jacob's voice pierced through the dark.

Bella felt the pain in her chest, the rush of air through her throat – she only had to fight a little. Jacob was fighting with her and so was Edward. She knew he was there, working to save her - she would do her part as well. Bella would fight for her daughter.

Edward saw a twinge of determination cross his wife's face. He was frustrated in holding his daughter when his wife needed him the most. He cursed.

He saw the baby become exponentially more aware. Her cheeks flamed, her curiosity ignited. Her mind repeated every sound, touch, and vision. He read her thoughts as he went into action.

_DAMN._

_What are you waiting for?_

_Take the baby,_

_Throw it out the window._

_Give her to me, _

_Snarl._

_I've got it under control Give me the baby, Edward. I'll take care of her until Bella . . ._

_Move your hands, Jacob._

Then Renesmee was gone. Edward immediately felt the loss. He had to focus on Bella. It was him and Jacob now.

Unfortunately, Jacob was spewing doubt and heartache. He no longer felt the pull to be with Bella. Something was pulling him downstairs. He saw Bella as an empty vessel, dead. He had spent his last two years yearning for her and now he would grieve. His sorrow overshadowed his efforts to continue with the CPR. It was macabre.

Edward worked feverishly infecting Bella with his venom, desperate to save her – fearful he wouldn't. He was no longer focusing on his own emotions and unable to stand Jacob's loud thoughts of despair. "Leave then." He ordered Jacob out, but not before giving him hope. "She'll be fine."

Now several hours later, Edward wondered if Jacob had been right. Bella's stillness was unheard of during transformation. How could he have let her down so completely?

They all depended on him to save her. Jacob. Charlie Alice Rosalie Carlisle Renée Esme…

Renesmee.

She had been strong enough to survive Renesmee, she _had to_ be strong enough to survive her own birth, or rather rebirth.

"Bella, sweetheart, it's okay, you can release your screams. You don't have to be brave for me." He begged.

It was impossible for Bella to obey. She was unable to move a single muscle. It was like layers of impacted cement held her body on the table. Her mind was aware, but unable to force even a finger to twitch.

She longed for the ability to control her muscles. For with that ability she could force out words that would bring her relief from the scorching heat. She knew the words she'd say. It would only be two. Two short words that could be whispered: kill me.

It was now another six hours full of silence. No response. No sounds. Nothing

Edward resumed his vigil of counting her heart beats. It was bittersweet. There had never been a more significant sound for him and yet he knew each herald their ending.

Someone seemed to come by every hour or so to offer comfort, knowing Edward would not move from Bella's side. He felt the visits unnecessary. How could he know peace when Bella's body was burning? He prayed that hopefully, she couldn't feel it.

There was no peace from the searing pain for Bella. But there was a change in the pain. It wasn't a good change, but it was change. It was like someone had turned on the lights in a dark room, the brightness was blinding, until eyes adjusted. Similarly, the torching pain traveled and engulfed the lower half of her body. Some repair had been made to her body allowing even the tips of her toes to dry up and burn.

Edward waited for Bella's screams, some sound that she was still there. He sat patiently frozen next to her still body.

When Esme brought Renesmee to see her parents, it was not what he wanted. He suppressed his growl at his mother. He would have never left the room except that Esme was insisted.

"It isn't fair to the baby to be without both of her parents. She wants you. Take her for a walk Edward, go play her a song; do something to get to know your daughter. I'll stay with Bella." _And don't come back for at least three hours!_ Esme ordered.

So father and daughter took a walk outside to the river. Jacob and godmother Rosalie dared not follow, but they were near.

He admired his daughter's soft blond curls and how they framed her face, resembling more him than Bella. It was her hardened pale skin, a creamy ivory that was an astonishing mixture of both mother and father that he embraced. It was an inflexible covering with a tint of red everywhere. Oh, yes she'd captured his heart.

He kissed her forehead and enjoyed the warmth of her skin. She placed her hand on his cheek and showed him pictures of what he'd missed. He chuckled at the arguments between Rose and Jacob.

"_You're holding her wrong! Can't you fix her bottle any quicker?" "Ouch, Nessie. You mustn't bite me."_ Renesmee smiled at the memory of biting Jacob.

Edward held her the entire time and would have continued gazing at the outdoors, except that Renesmee was ready to eat.

Rosalie saw them return and had a warm metal cup ready. "She's a heartbreaker." Rosalie said as she passed the cup to Edward and fondled the baby's hand.

"From the first time I saw her, I knew she'd have us all wrapped around her tiny little fingers." He smiled.

"Nessie is growing rather quickly. She's already out of newborn clothes. You'll have to spend more time with her." Rosalie encouraged.

He turned and faced the glass wall, snuggling Renesmee to his chest. Renesmee yawned and fell asleep in her father's arms. He watched her dreams and a song began to form in his thoughts.

"Smile." Alice trilled as she took a picture. "I've got to work on her baby album."

Edward returned to Bella and placed the sleeping baby in Esme's arms. _Hello sleepy baby._ Esme thought.

"Thanks, Esme." He looked at his wife and could see that there'd been no outward changes. "I'm ashamed that you had to force me to do that. Will you let me know when she wakes up?"

"Of course." Esme smiled and took the sleeping baby downstairs.

After that, Edward spent more time with Renesmee, grateful that his family filled in during his absences, but it was still difficult for him to leave Bella's side. He was certain that she was more aware, now that the morphine was out of her system.

And indeed, Bella was more aware of the burning that tortured her body. It felt as if boiling waves of lava was passing over her and with each wave, the lava grew hotter. She remembered being flippant about the transformation, had she actually wanted to go through this burning, when all she wanted right now was for the scorching to end or her life?

It was several hours later when Carlisle came to check on them. Edward hadn't moved and his thoughts vacillated. He recalled every moment of their first year together and every error he'd made in the last four weeks that led them to this point. He could not understand how foolish he'd been. Reckless.

"Still no change?" Carlisle asked.

"None." His voice was coarse, dry.

Edward held Bella's hand and watched as Carlisle leaned over her silent body and inhaled. "There's no scent of the morphine left."

"I know."

"Bella? Can you hear me?" How he would welcome a sign of acknowledgment. A nod, twitch or even a blood curdling scream. Bella could hear him, but she refused to answer, she was a statue. The heavy weight of the morphine was lifted and she knew she could move her body, even scream. She was certain that her body looked no different, but there was a difference. She had a choice.

"Bella? Bella, love? Can you open your eyes? Can you squeeze my hand?" He lightly squeezed his hand around her fingers. Bella again made no response. She could hear so much more. She'd heard Carlisle's footsteps as he came into the room.

Edward's voice was richer, deeper and more resounding. But all Bella did was listen, while her body blistered and burned. The pain tempted her to scream but she didn't.

It seemed like her entire life had been spent in the scorching burn that enveloped her body. She had no sense of time.

Awareness of her surroundings and the conversation also meant that Bella had become more aware of the burning. She knew she would never return to the painless darkness.

"Maybe… Carlisle, maybe I was too late." Edward's believed failure evident in his voice.

Edward's lament momentarily caused Bella to want to answer but then she remembered why she wouldn't.

Now, Edward only thought she was in pain, his anguish was unsure. If she were to scream, he'd know for sure and the agony would haunt him forever. She could not have him suffer with her. He'd suffered throughout the pregnancy and she did not want him suffering anymore.

"Listen to her heart, Edward. It's stronger than even Emmett's was. I've never heard anything so vital. She'll be perfect." Carlisle assured.

Bella felt she was right to keep silent. Carlisle would help Edward.

"And her—her spine?" He asked.

"Her injuries weren't so much worse than Esme's. The venom will heal her as it did Esme." Carlisle said.

"But she's so still. I must have done something wrong."

"Or something right, Edward. Son, you did everything I could have and more. I'm not sure I would have had the persistence, the faith it took to save her. Stop berating yourself. Bella is going to be fine."

"She must be in agony." He whispered, unable to fully acknowledge the torture he'd forced on her.

"We don't know that. She had so much morphine in her system. We don't know the effect that will have on her experience."

"Bella, I love you. Bella, I'm sorry." He rubbed the now healed bite marks—his marks, along her arms.

Bella did not answer.

Alice called his name. _Edward. They are fighting over the baby again and this time it looks like there will be broken bones. I've got Nessie, but you'd better get down here._

"No, I'm staying right here," Edward whispered, unwilling to leave Bella's side for trivial bickering.

"They'll sort it out." He added.

"An interesting situation," Carlisle responded. "And I'd thought I'd seen just about everything."

"I'll deal with it later. We'll deal with it." Edward pressed his hand against Bella's palm. She was aware of the pressure and the burning. She was glad for the distraction of their conversation. Bella had discovered a new molten heat that ran throughout her body as if some unconnected. She would grasp at it silently.

"I'm sure, between the five of us, we can keep it from turning into bloodshed."

Edward sighed. "I don't know which side to take. I'd love to flog them both. Well, later."

"I wonder what Bella will think—whose side she'll take," Carlisle mused.

One low, strained chuckle left Edwards mouth. "I'm sure she'll surprise me. She always does."

Carlisle's footsteps faded away again, and Bella was frustrated that there was no further explanation of their conversation. Were they talking so mysteriously just to annoy her?

She had started to count Edward's breaths to mark the time. He counted her heartbeats.

Ten thousand, nine hundred forty-three breaths and Fifteen thousand heart beats later a different set of footsteps whispered into the room. Lighter. More…rhythmic.

Strange that she could distinguish the minute differences between footsteps that she'd never been able to hear at all before today.

"How much longer?" Edward asked.

"It won't be long now," Alice told him. "See how clear she's becoming? I can see her so much better." She pictured Bella standing next to Edward, in the meadow, both looking up into the air, laughing. She sighed. _I think you're smiling up at Renesmee, still can't see her._

"Still feeling a little bitter?"

"Yes, thanks so much for bringing it up," she grumbled. "You would be mortified, too, if you realized that you were handcuffed by your own nature. I see vampires best, because I am one; I see humans okay, because I was one. But I can't see these odd half-breeds at all because they're nothing I've experienced. Bah!"

"Focus, Alice."

"Right. Bella's almost too easy to see now."

Alice flickered through the future and she found Bella, jogging along side Edward. There were laughing at something that they were chasing and then both their heads bobbed up and then back down as if they were following a bouncing ball.

Then Edward sighed. It was a new sound, happier.

"She's really going to be fine," he breathed.

"Of course she is."

"You weren't so sanguine two days ago." He accused Alice.

"I couldn't see right two days ago. But now that she's free of all the blind spots, it's a piece of cake."

"Could you concentrate for me? On the clock—give me an estimate."

Alice sighed. "So impatient. Fine. Give me a sec—"

He held his breathe as he watched Alice sort through the phases of time as Bella completed her metamorphosis. They were quietly breathing and then he saw her standing beside him looking at a mirror, the time clearly visible on the digital clock. It wouldn't be much longer before she opened her eyes. It was much sooner than he'd expected.

"Thank you, Alice." His voice was brighter.

Bella was frustrated again. How long? Couldn't they at least say it aloud for her? Was that too much to ask?

How many more seconds would she burn? Ten thousand? Twenty? Another day— eighty-six thousand, four hundred? More than that?

"She's going to be dazzling."

Edward growled quietly. "She always has been."

Alice snorted. "You know what I mean. Look at her."

Edward smiled at the changing features of his wife. He didn't answer, but Alice's words gave Bella hope that maybe she didn't resemble a charcoal briquette.

Bella could hear so much more. She heard Alice swishing out of the room and the buzz of the light hanging in the ceiling.

"It's my turn," She heard Rosalie snap at someone, and there was a low snarl in response.

"Hey, now," Emmett cautioned.

Someone hissed.

She listened for more, but there was nothing but the baseball game on television. It was not interesting enough to distract her from the pain, so she listened to Edward's breathing again, counting the seconds.

Twenty-one thousand, nine hundred seventeen and a half seconds later, the pain changed.

On the good-news side of things, it started to fade from her fingertips and toes.

Fading slowly, but at least it was doing something new. This had to be it. The pain was on its way out.…

And then the bad news. The fire in her throat wasn't the same as before. She wasn't only on fire, but she was now parched, too. Dry as bone. So thirsty. Burning fire, and burning thirst…

Also bad news: The fire inside her heart got hotter.

How was that possible?

The heartbeat, already too fast, picked up—the fire drove its rhythm to a new frantic pace.

"Carlisle," Edward called. His voice was low but clear. Carlisle would hear it, if he were in or near the house. He knew it was almost over, his wife would return to him soon. He was anxious, happy and relieved.

Carlisle entered the room, Alice at his side. Their footsteps were so distinct, Bella could even tell that Carlisle was on the right, and a foot ahead of Alice.

"Listen," Edward told them. He didn't want to miss a minute of her final moments of being human. He watched and listened intently.

The loudest sound in the room was Bella's frenzied heart, pounding to the rhythm of the fire.

"Ah," Carlisle said. "It's almost over."

For the first time, Bella felt relief at words but it was overshadowed by the excruciating pain in her heart.

"Soon," Alice agreed eagerly. "I'll get the others. Should I have Rosalie…?" _keep the baby downstairs?_

"Yes—keep the baby away." Edward had already allowed his emotions to interfere with what was best for his wife and child. He'd be more careful now.

Bella wanted to object. Why would he keep her baby away? What was he thinking?

Her fingers twitched—the irritation breaking through her perfect façade. The room went silent besides the jack-hammering of her heart as they all stopped breathing for a second in response to the twitch.

Edward saw the twitch! Yes, she's coming back! She's going to be alright. He squeezed her wayward fingers. "Bella? Bella, love?"

She felt it was safer to answer him, that she might not scream, and then the fire ripped hotter still through her. She'd always loved the sun but now that the blistering heat was inside her heart she no longer cared for it. She decided that it was better not to chance it. He'd have to settle for the twitch, and he did.

"I'll bring them right up," Alice said, an urgent edge to her tone, as she darted away.

And then Bella's heart took off, beating like helicopter blades, the sound almost a single sustained note. Edward attempted to count them, but was lost in the final changes her skin was undertaking.

The fire flared up and her back arched, bowed as if the fire was dragging her upward by her heart, Edward watched as her body moved upward.

Those in the room gasped, startled by the urgent movement.

Edward pushed back the chair he was sitting on and stood. No other piece of Bella's body moved as her torso slumped back to the table.

The fire constricted, concentrating inside that one remaining human organ with a final, unbearable surge. The surge was answered by a deep, hollow-sounding thud. Her heart stuttered twice, and then thudded quietly again just once more.

There was no sound. No breathing. Not even Bella's.

And then, not so unlike her daughter, in the very same room, watched by the very same man, aware of her own birth - she opened her eyes and gazed above her in wonder.

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Please comment.


	19. Chapter 18 Welcome Back

A/N Once again, I've struggled with writing from Edward's POV regarding Bella's transformation and her first few hours of becoming a vampire. I didn't want to omit that part because it's the culmination of all that she'd hoped for in this love story. So - sadly, again, for now, I've abandoned Edward's exclusive POV and use the narrator's omnipresence. But then I missed that boy, so much – so much. Just so much so here I will post his POV. YEAH – I know I had you scared, but don't worry I've almost completed the chapter from the Narrator's POV and I will post it as a one shot. Until then, wrap your arms around yourself, get a warm drink and welcome our boy back. And tell me how glad you are that he's here again.

I don't own Twilight or the characters, it's all Stephenie Meyer's work

* * *

Everyone in the make shift hospital room stood still, it looked like a 3d picture. The colors looked airbrushed, all muted and dull with no brilliance to be found. Even the tone of our skin was white, so colorless that one would imagine we were transparent or luminescent. There was not a shimmer of sparkle anywhere in the room, not even the jewelry worn by Alice or Esme. The light's rays coming from the two over head lights seemed to hold the grays in prominence, all other color was subdued. Yes, it was an insipid scene of six statuesque vampires gazing at a pyre.

Except for the astonishing being on the metal table, there would be nothing to draw your attention to the picture, nothing outstanding or eye catching. There on the pyre was the splatter of paint missing throughout the portrait. It was there in her skin, especially around her cheeks and lips. It was the color of blood, however it wasn't the bright red you'd see from lipstick and a delicious red apple, but the faint red from a watered down strawberry soda.

And as we watched the only color in the 3d photograph, it began to fade away, even the infrared that only we vampires could see was extinguished, until finally her skin was as chalky white as everyone else's and just as cold.

I watched more carefully than all the rest. I was unsure whether I should mourn or celebrate. After all, for me and my monster, this was her death. No more blushes, no more heat, no intoxicating smell. No blood. The monster wanted her blood, more than anything else and I in so many different ways I wanted that same blood. Not to ingest or quench my thirst but her blood meant that she was human and I wanted that for her. And if there were anyway possible, I'd want it for myself as well. But there would be no more blood. What would the monster do now that it no longer had Bella's blood to aspire? Was that bloodlust monster dead? My monster had been my nemesis and then an ally, but now it had no place in my life – would it seek a new desire? How would I fight it?

I have fought with myself for so long, my entire vampire existence I'd fought that monster, but not as hard as in the last two years. How would I release all the stress and adrenaline from being ever ready for battle? It should be easy, right? I had so many other things to occupy my life - things I'd never dream would be mine.

I held Bella's hand as the color left her fingers taking with it her sweet, hot and intoxicating smell. I cupped my hand around her chin and rubbed my thumb along her cheek as the warmth turned to cool and with my caress, the color that once held blushes disappeared, never to return.

Ultimately, I wasn't sad about the loss.

Her body would always remain unchanged, she'd never gain an ounce or lose a pound. Her thick shiny brown hair with tints of red would always cascade down her back, luscious and full unless cut. She'd never have to worry about her nails or perspiration. She was my own Aphrodite. My Venus. Mine.

I'd watched nearly every part of her change. I only left for those times I'd spent with Renesmee. What a wonder those times were. My daughter had put my world on axis, tilted it askew and set it spinning wildly. I couldn't help but grin at her natural affinity to music. She was able to repeat music in perfect clarity after hearing it only once. At our first music lesson, she learned the lullaby I composed for her, but changed the ending from the elementary tinkling of high C notes to a complex bravado. It took me two tries to get the new ending right. Incredibly she was patient with me and just repeated the ending again, until I had it Renesmee perfect. She was a marvel and my veneration for her was immeasurable.

Amazingly, she continued to grow quickly. Every time I held her I could see the changes in her face – her eyes were brighter, nose more angular and her smile fuller, even freer. Her arms and legs were longer which made securing her body in my arms easier. She no longer had to be cradled like a newborn – which she hated but tolerated for me. Renesmee preferred being held upright so she could observe the world around her, a world I'd gladly lay at her feet.

Her tiny hands were miniature versions of my own, long and slender – easily malleable for the piano and guitar. She always had the sweetest smile, made just for me when we spent our time together. There was nothing more fascinating than Renesmee and my gasp grew longer every time she amazed me with who she was, while my sigh became more pronounced when my little girl fell asleep in my arms and I'd give her away to one of the many set of eager hands. Yes, my daughter was an awesome phenomenon and I couldn't wait for Bella to get to know her.

When I returned to Bella, I searched for her changes. The first change came to her hair, which surprised me and drew my hands to it. I greedily caressed the gentle soft strands of red, blond and brown with a scent of strawberries. Most of her metamorphosis was difficult to see until complete, like her bone structure and organs. Staring down at my wife, I was amazed that she'd taken her extraordinary beauty and transformed it into something beyond a multifarious description. I hadn't believed that my lamb, the former Miss Swan, could conquer perfection a second time, but she did – she always shocked me, I didn't know why this should have been such a surprise. And with that thought, I smiled.

Emmett nudged the person next to him and nodded his head toward me. The five sets of gold colored eyes that had been on Bella, were now focused on me. I was incredulous.

"Come on Edward, no one can see anything but that goofy smile of yours." Emmett teased, causing everyone to chuckle out the stress of the moment and inhale.

I ignored the comment.

_Focus, Edward! _Jasper thought. _You can admire her later. Right now we've got to help her control her thirst until she hunts and she'll trust you the most._

I immediately put my admiration aside, remembering that I would have the same opportunity later. She would forever be my beautiful bride. I smoothed Bella's hand and marveled that it was as soft, warm and marble hard as my own. Another smile began to cause my cheeks to rise.

_Damn it Edward, stop it! I can't focus on Bella's emotions with you having a constant cloud of joy over everything. Either focus or you'll have to go protect the baby._

Jasper was right. Bella was now a newborn vampire whose strength and hunger had to be corralled. I would be most likely to succeed in guiding Bella. It was my responsibility and I would not let our family down.

I was somber. We were at the end. There was no more blood, no color. I worried that she wouldn't wake up again, wouldn't become fully aware. She'd reached for the sky but now she was still. Immobile. The blood was gone – it was time for her to come back to me and she hadn't. Everyone in the room was expectant, I was troubled and serious.

I forced myself to monitor my wife's actions. I watched closely, I was unsure how long we stood before her eyes popped open.

Air rushed out of my lungs in relief.

Once again I thought of the image of the seven vampires in the room. Minutes before the only color visible was on her skin, now her skin was as translucent as ours. With a careful look, one could see a simple brilliance of color remained in the room. It wasn't an abundance of color, but it was there and more powerful than previous. Her eyes blazed red, like the blinking lights on a dark deserted road. She was aware.

She inhaled and took in the swirling dust motes and I knew she was able to taste each microscopic one. Each had a different flavor and easily identifiable from familiarity. I inhaled as well and tasted the air particles around her. Some tasted like silk and wood, but the largest flavor in the air was my own scent of almond and honey mixed together with Bella's freesia and sunshine.

I wondered if she was aware of the faint smell of her own blood that I tried desperately to clean away. Would that be the first dry ache her throat would feel? Was her blood thirst awakened?

Her eyebrows arched as her head turned slightly as if she were listening to the sounds throughout the house. Had she heard the drumming rap music from the car driving by on the highway, far away? Her face wrinkled – a sign of confusion? I squeezed her hand in comfort, ready to offer words of assurance. The shock of my touch or maybe the new, overwhelming amount of sensory input made her body respond. She growled and flipped off her back in a spin causing a tornado of dust motes to swirl around the room. Bella was crouched against the wall ready to fight. Or maybe ready to defend?

Jasper stepped forward sensing the fear and seeing Bella's suspicious stance. _She's confused, you've got to get her to relax._ Jasper thought. Emmett moved in conjunction with Jasper and both bent their knees ready to guard against an attack. Alice, Esme and Carlisle stood behind the two defenders.

Emmett reluctantly bared his teeth. _Damn she's quick, please do something, Edward – I don't think I can hurt her._

Bella didn't actually look directly at her vampire family and the impeding attack from the doorway. Her gaze was fixed upon me. Was she frightened of me? Her body remained in attack position. Her red eyes met my black ones. There stood absolute exquisiteness and I warmed at her sight.

_Get it together, Edward, you've got to help her before she attacks._

I leaned across the table, palms up and moved to Bella, cautiously. My emotions were vacillating. I was hurt that she'd not immediately recognized me. Even now, I didn't see the sparkle of recognition in her eyes. Why had a need for self-preservation kicked in when she needed it the least? All those nights she'd slept next to me, stayed on a deserted island alone, she'd shown no fear, yet now she was ready to defend herself. It was seriously ironic.

Total awe captured me as well. Before me stood a powerful killer that was a frightening vision of unadulterated charm. Everything about her made me want to be closer, despite her swiftly reached attack stance. I would die a happy man at the hands of my bride.

Then I felt love. Of course I knew, within my silent heart, that I loved Bella and nothing could interfere with that sentiment, except to make it stronger.

I decided to focus on my love for her, and abandon my own vacillating emotions and focus on her needs. I took a tentative step towards her.

_Stop gawking at her Edward and smile. _Alice thought as she peeked around Jasper's elbow flashing her own smile. Alice's confidence that everything would be fine radiated to a concerned Jasper. But Jasper wasn't ready to allow even a slight chance that Bella would hurt Alice or Esme. He remained in his defensive posture.

Bella comforted maybe at Alice's grin or at her realization that she was the danger and everyone was responding accordingly. She immediately stood upright and it was then that my smile returned.

From the time Bella's crimson eyes opened to the instant moment, barely ten seconds had passed. She froze all her movements and I moved slowly around the table—each step taking nearly half a second, each step flowing sinuously like river water weaving over smooth stones—my hand still outstretched.

"Bella?" I asked in a low, calming tone. I tried hard to maintain my grin, but with no response, worry crossed my face. Couldn't she feel my love? Had she not brought her love for me with her? Didn't she recognize me? Why was she so ready to fight? Why hadn't she answered my call?

All my fears showed on my face and it was Jasper that brought me back to solace._ Her emotions are jumbled but two feelings are evident. Confusion is the first, she's somewhat disoriented and love is the second. _Jasper explained.

I sighed and understood what I needed to do.

"Bella, love? I'm sorry, I know it's disorienting. But you're all right. Everything is fine."

Somehow my words calmed, not only Bella but the vampires at the door as well. I moved closer to her and I could see her concentrating, but her mind was silent to me.

A frown crossed Bella's face.

I wanted these first moments to be happy for Bella and I wanted so much to rid the frown from her and to have it never to return. I longed to touch her, caress her and feel the electric current flow between us. Ever so gently, slowly, I ventured a subtle touch and my hand curled the shape of her satin smooth face.

I recognized her response, but was confused by it. The electric spark was there, but how could she focus on that? Yes her desire for me was there. But shouldn't the burn in her throat be paramount? All newborn vampires were unable to focus. We'd seen them, just months earlier – I've lived with them and none of them had been able to show any interest in anything but quenching their hunger for blood.

Perhaps I was misreading her face because none of the other tell tale signs were there. Her heart did not race, it was silent, never to beat again. Her face did not flush, it remained ashen white, and the lack of breathing was even more inconclusive, she could hold her breath for years.

Oh, how marvelous if it were possible for her to focus on something other than her bloodlust. It would mean those horrid, erratic years could be avoided. Could I suppress my pessimistic self and grasp at hope? Hope that I would have my wife and her crazy teenage hormones. I tilted my head and looked into her eyes and waited. Was it so much to ask for her to speak and confirm my hope?

As usual, she did what I least would expect, she threw her arms around me and buried her face into my chest, knocking the wind out of me. The power that she used would have left a mark on any human, but I was able to hold my ground. It wouldn't do for us to crash into the table. She was hugging me. Mine.

In the past, I would have been overtaken by her scent and unexpectant burst of affection. Her warm smoldering body heat was gone, cooled to my own temperature. Her blood was the most extravagant smell I knew, it sang to me, now it was mute. The remaining scent was the delicious bouquet of sweet freesia and orange blossoms that enveloped my senses.

"Um…carefully, Bella. Ow." I shifted playfully.

"Oops," she mouthed. She threw her arms behind her back. She looked surprised that she could hurt me, she was now stronger. I was glad to see her frown gone but it was replaced by concern. _She's frightened, Edward._ Jasper whispered in his thoughts.

"Don't panic, love," I said, lifting my hand to touch her lips, parted in horror. "You're just a bit stronger than I am for the moment."

I stroked her cheek, hoping that the panic would leave her face and be replaced by a smile. I watched her face wane into understanding. Then I smiled because I recognized her, the bottom lip a little larger, the bend of her heart shaped face and the 'v' that had formed between her eyebrows. Yes, she was the same, just more durable - stronger.

Bella, very carefully touched my cheek and an electrical charge went through her fingers. She felt it now. I dug my heels into the floor, refusing to allow my heart to take off in flight with my happiness. She had returned.

As soon as my joy spread throughout my body, she parted her lips and spoke the three words of confirmation for all eternity. "I love you." She murmured.

My eyes widened as I heard her new voice, an elegant chime of crystal. Without hesitation my lips curled up and I replied, "As I love you."

And I could no longer contain my desire to have my lips melt into hers. I didn't want to startle her or overwhelm her unfamiliar extraordinary senses, so I cupped my hands around her beautiful face and leaned in slowly and then slowly again. Our lips touched lightly, barely together. Then slowly I leaned further and for the first time, my lips bent to hers, and I continued to lean into her lips until the only resistance was her own desire to be careful. I no longer had that limitation so I pressed closer and eagerly enjoyed the taste.

This was the kiss that I had longed to have from the first moment I discovered I loved her more than I wanted to kill her. The monster that used to live inside me was forever defeated. I no longer had to control anything when it came to expressing my love for her and what's more I didn't want to.

My hand moved seductively along Bella's side, while I boldly made love to her mouth and she folded her body around mine. We became victims to the delicious kiss that we'd long for and easily forgot that our family was in the room – but not really because we both had so much room in our minds, there would be nothing we'd ever forget.

We both heard Emmet clear his throat, the same as he'd done at our wedding. This time, I was annoyed that we had to cease our embrace.

_Yep, it's going to be fun teasing you two, now that Rose and I aren't the newest newlyweds anymore!_

I wasn't certain, but it seemed that Bella was embarrassed. Incredible. I was free and nothing would stop me or control how I loved my wife ever again. Not my nature, her father or a room full of people. But I would always remain a gentleman.

Yes, I was right, Bella was embarrassed because she half-stepped away from me, but I was not about to allow any distance between us, especially now that she was awake, no longer on the hospital table. No I wouldn't be far away anytime soon. And if she objected in the least – she'd have to get over it. I turned to her side and wrapped my arms around her waist. I laughed. No, she was not getting away from me.

Although, we were standing side by side, our eyes had stayed fixed on one another. I searched the depths of the crimson orbs and found the same Bella I'd fallen in love with. I relaxed. Mostly, I was elated at being able to kiss her with all my passion. My seventeen year old human self had returned with all the glee and energy for the love of my wife.

"You've been holding out on me," Bella accused in her chiming voice.

I laughed out loud, any earlier concerns that she was frightened, that she would attack, disappeared, she was my love and I was her husband.

"It was sort of necessary at the time," I reminded her a bit smugly. "Now it's your turn to not break me." I chuckled.

It was then that I was able to hear our waiting family's laughter. Carlisle was the first to step forward and welcome Bella. Jasper was on his heels, like a body guard. She looked pensively up at her father-in-law.

_She seems calm enough. She's able to think in a straight line, unlike the others. Remember, Edward, how confusing it was to talk to them? It took them months to think about anything but the thirst and to understand that they couldn't drink human blood. I venture to guess she already understands._

I gave a quick nod to Carlisle and attempted to keep up with his musings, but it was only a half-hearted effort. I wanted nothing more than to look at and absorb whatever Bella offered. I was ecstatic that she was off the hospital table and in my arms.

"How do you feel, Bella?" Carlisle was eager to examine Bella and test his theories.

"Overwhelmed. There's so much. . . ." She trailed off, distracted. I watched as she caught the sound of her own voice by tilting her head.

"Yes, it can be quite confusing." Carlisle confirmed.

She nodded her agreement. "But I feel like me. Sort of. I didn't expect that."

I was so thrilled to hear her ringing words glide from her lips; I pulled her closer to me anxious to whisper. "I told you so." She felt so perfect in my arms, so right.

"You are quite controlled," Carlisle deliberated. "More so than I expected, even with the time you had to prepare yourself mentally for this."

"I'm not sure about that." She wiggled her head from side to side.

_Edward, she's gone through the transformation, beautifully, it seems she didn't experience the burning. If that's true, can you imagine what that will mean? _

Carlisle nodded seriously to me. "It seems like we did something right with the morphine this time." He turned back to Bella. "Tell me, what do you remember of the transformation process?"

"Everything was…very dim before. I remember the baby couldn't breathe. . . ." She looked up at me, her eyes wide with concern – the baby.

"Renesmee is healthy and well," I promised. I could hear our daughter's thoughts and marveled at how she controlled Jacob and Rosalie and proud that I was able to keep my promise to her. Bella was well, better than well – she was exceptional.

"What do you remember after that?" Carlisle encouraged.

"It's hard to remember. It was so dark before. And then…I opened my eyes and I could see everything." I took a breath, it looked like she lied.

"Amazing," Carlisle breathed, his eyes alight.

Why wouldn't she tell the truth? I was somewhat skeptical of her description. She was vague, stuttered with her words, and she didn't hold eye contact, but none of the other physical signs were available to confirm my suspicions. Ultimately, I figured it didn't matter. If she wanted me to believe her story, then I'd go along with it. At some point, I'd have to mention this to Carlisle, but not now – I wouldn't worry about it, besides I could be wrong.

"I want you to think—to tell me everything you remember," Carlisle pressed excitedly.

A 'v' formed between her eyebrows and she didn't immediately answer. Yes, she didn't want to talk about her transformation or maybe she was thirsty.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Bella," Carlisle apologized immediately. "Of course your thirst must be very uncomfortable. This conversation can wait."

Suddenly, her hand flew up to cup her throat, like she could smother the flames from the outside. I couldn't have her hurting, when it was something that we could easily take care of.

"Let's hunt, Bella." I dropped my arms and took her other hand, tugging gently. Her pain would get worse until she hunted and soon she'd be unable to control her actions. I watched her red eyes as they widen, questioning? Was that fear in her eyes? Didn't she know that this was the last barrier, the last secret that we hadn't shared?

"It's quite easy, love. Instinctual. Don't worry, I'll show you." I felt Bella plant her feet. Maybe I'd scared her off from hunting too well. But now it was my job to help her transition into it so she wouldn't hurt.

"I was under the impression that you'd always wanted to see me hunt." I said trying to dazzle her.

Her responding laugh made me chuckle, it was astonishing to hear her laugh again. It had been so long and I welcomed the sound. From this point on, it would be my goal to do whatever it takes to make her laugh.

"Shall we?" I encouraged. She still had not moved. "I don't want you to be hurting," I added as I gently stroked her throat.

"I'm fine," She said. Oh I hated those two little words, a statement used often, more out of habit than fact. She was placating me and I wouldn't have it. I tugged her hand again, insistent.

Then unexpectantly, she tilted her body away from me and whispered, "Wait. First."

"Yes?" Carlisle answered before I could.

"I want to see her. Renesmee." Bella's voice quivered at the name of our daughter. She pulled her hands away from me and dropped them to her stomach.

Carlisle looked at me. _She seems controlled enough to see the baby, but it's your call. There could still be a risk, but it will be smaller after she hunts._

"What?" Bella demanded, she was still as observant, probably more so.

"Bella, that's not really a good idea. She's half human, love. Her heart beats, and blood runs in her veins. Until your thirst is positively under control… You don't want to put her in danger, do you?" I was wrestling with the pull that she had on my heart, not to mention Renesmee's. It pained me to keep them apart, but I had already messed up by letting the baby bite Bella and I sure wasn't about to let Bella bite the baby. No, she had to hunt first, regardless of how well she was controlling her thirst.

"Where is she?" Bella cocked her ear toward the stairs.

I saw Bella's mouth water - confirmation that she had to wait to see our baby until after she hunted.

"Is Rosalie with her?"

"Yes," I answered. _Jacob too. I haven't been able to get rid of him and his blasted imprinting. _The more I thought of Jacob the more upset I became and exhaled a heavy breathe. This was not the time address this issue so I grabbed Bella's hand and tugged her again, it was time to hunt.

"Wait," She protested again. "What about Jacob? And Charlie? Tell me everything that I missed. How long was I…unconscious?"

I heard the hesitation in her voice, confirming my suspicions, she didn't want to talk about her transformation.

_How is she doing it Edward?_ Carlisle's unspoken words came to me._ None of the others were able to change the subject once we mentioned blood and hunting. What's going on in her mind?_

I could only shrug my shoulders. I was just as confused as Carlisle regarding Bella's ability to prioritize and her thoughts. She was an anomaly.

"What's wrong?" Bella whispered.

"Nothing is _wrong_," Carlisle said.

"Nothing has changed much, actually—you were only unaware for just over two days. It was very fast, as these things go. Edward did an excellent job. Quite innovative—the venom injection straight to your heart was his idea." He paused to smile proudly at me, not like I deserved it. "Jacob is still here, and Charlie still believes that you are sick. He thinks you're in Atlanta right now, undergoing tests at the CDC. We gave him a bad number, and he's frustrated. He's been speaking to Esme."

"I should call him…," Bella murmured. "Hold on—Jacob is still here?"

For the love of all things, "Bella," I said quickly not wanting to get into the damn Jacob issues. "There's much to discuss, but we should take care of you first. You have to be in pain. . . ."

She swallowed dryly. "But Jacob—"

"We have all the time in the world for explanations, love," I reminded her gently.

"Okay." She agreed.

"Wait, wait, wait," Alice trilled from the doorway.

"You promised I could be there the first time! What if you two run past something reflective?"

"Alice—," I protested, this was getting ridiculous. The longer we waited the more Bella would be in pain. These distractions could wait.

"It will only take a second!" Alice countered and dashed from the room. _Don't even think about leaving before I get back or I'll follow you two and you really don't want that!_

Once again, I relinquished to Alice's will – it was futile to contradict her plan.

"What is she talking about?" Bella asked cautiously.

Before I could explain, Alice was already back, carrying the huge, gilt-framed mirror from Rosalie's room, which was nearly twice as tall as she was, and several times as wide.

Jasper took a guarded step near Alice and for the first time Bella was able to view him with her new improved vision. The sight of Jasper's battle scars startled Bella to the point that she tensed to defend herself. Every vampire upon first meeting him had the same response. In reply Jasper smiled wryly but did not back away.

"Edward gave me grief for not getting you to a mirror before the wedding," Alice said. "I'm not going to be chewed out again."

"Chewed out?" I asked skeptically, shaking my head.

"Maybe I'm overstating things," she murmured absently as she turned the mirror to face Bella.

"And maybe this has solely to do with your own voyeuristic gratification," I countered.

I read Alice's thoughts as she looked forward into the blurry future of me and Bella in a compromising position when we hunted. _Edward don't linger while you're out, Bella needs to see Renesmee. And the baby wants her mother._ Alice then winked at me, apparently her visions of Bella were back.

I turned to watch Bella look at the person she saw in the mirror. I only hoped that she saw the same undisputable beauty I did. She was fluid even in stillness, and her flawless face was pale as the moon against the frame of her dark, heavy hair. Her limbs were smooth and strong, skin glistening subtly, luminous as a pearl. As usual, she focused on the thing I least expected.

"The eyes?" She whispered. "How long?

"They'll darken up in a few months," I said. Her eye color was temporary and alluring, she was the most beautiful creature with or without eyes of deep amber. "Animal blood dilutes the color more quickly than a diet of human blood. They'll turn amber first, then gold."

"Months?" Her voice was higher, stressed.

Jasper took a step forward, alarmed by the intensity of her sudden anxiety. He knew young vampires only too well, often volatile before they knew it. Jasper prepared for Bella to lose control. _Careful she's feeling stressed and won't be able to calm herself. _

I was keenly aware of Jasper's warning and gave her a gentle squeeze of the arm, but it was Bella that defused the situation.

She took a deep, unnecessary breath.

"No, I'm fine," She promised. "It's just…a lot to take in."

_"She's so in control of herself," _Jasper thought_. "How's she doing it?"_

"I don't know," I murmured.

"What question did I miss?" Bella asked

I grinned at how much more observant she was. Jacob had been right, I'd have to do a better job if I were to consider lying to her. The thought of Jacob made me shake my head. "Jasper wonders how you're doing it."

"Doing what?"

"Controlling your emotions, Bella," Jasper answered. "I've never seen a newborn do that—stop an emotion in its tracks that way. You were upset, but when you saw our concern, you reined it in, regained power over yourself. I was prepared to help, but you didn't need it."

"Is that wrong?" Bella asked, as usual placing any blame on herself for an unknown offense.

"No," he said. _Let's get her fed as soon as possible; I'd hate to see the damage she'll cause by holding in all her stress and corraling her emotions._

I smoothed Bella's arm and she comforted. "It's very impressive, Bella, but we don't understand it. We don't know how long it can hold." We turned our eyes to the mirror.

"But what do you think?" Alice asked, a little impatient now, pointing to the mirror.

"I'm not sure," Bella was hesitant.

I couldn't imagine what was going on in her head, like Alice I was dying to hear her comments on her new appearance and she wasn't cooperating – just keeping her thoughts to herself. I sighed at the lack of knowledge.

"Disappointed?" Bella asked in her ringing voice.

I laughed. "Yes," I had to admit and at the same time tease my family.

Initially Bella was shocked, her eyes widen and she stood frozen.

_Why are you being such an idiot? _Alice snarled. Jasper leaned forward again, waiting for Bella to snap.

_Carefully Edward._ Carlisle chastised.

Mischievously I snuggled my nose into the fragrant hollow of her frozen neck. "I was rather hoping that I'd be able to hear your mind, now that it is more similar to my own," I murmured. "And here I am, as frustrated as ever, wondering what could possibly be going on inside your head."

Instantly she warmed, relieved. "Oh well, I guess my brain will never work right. At least I'm pretty."

When would this wondrous creature ever see herself as I do? I growled in her ear. "Bella, you have never been merely pretty."

_Get her fed!_ Jasper shouted in my head. _Stop all that lovey-dovey talk. I can't stand her mood swings and I'm not sure she'll be able to control herself much longer._

I pulled my face away from hers and sighed. "All right, all right," I replied.

"What?" Bella asked.

"You're making Jasper more edgy by the second. He may relax a little when you've hunted."

"Okay. Let's hunt," she agreed, and took my hand and once again all things in my universe were right.

* * *

Endnotes

Glad to have him back?

Okay, two more chapters to go and with school out – I won't be able to update as quickly but I will have the remaining chapters up before the end of my month long vacation – as long as I can find an Internet connection.

Please comment now – it'll make me finish quicker.


	20. Chapter 20 First Hunt

All things Twilight belong to SM.

* * *

Jeez, she finally took my hand so we could hunt. I thought I would have to drag her out of the house and force her to satisfy her thirst. But then she held my hand. I enjoyed her touch. It was almost like the first moments after we married. Although now her hand was cooler, firmer and stronger, which made our joined hands unbreakable, like our love. I admired her slim fingers and small hands, changed but mine. She was beyond spectacular then and now.

Jasper examined our emotions. I hesitated. _Was she stable? Was she angry? Did she love me? _He sensed my insecurities. _Edward give her some time. Bella's emotions are like a roller coaster ride._ _She's whirled around hurt, up and down with confusion, and zipped through anger and joy; all the while screaming with thirst. She's a very dangerous newborn vampire and much too distracted to sort through her feelings for you. Don't rush her. She can't leave through the front door. The baby and Jacob are there. Take her through the window and hurry. The sooner she eats, the better she can sort through her emotions. _

I nodded at Jasper and pulled Bella toward the window.

"The window?" she smirked, her eyebrows forming the familiar 'v'. Yes, she was still my Bella.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine," I encouraged my clumsy wife.

_No fair helping her Edward_, Emmett joked. _If she can't manage a little jump from the second floor, then it's better to know now. She can't hurt anything and if she does then we can laugh about for the new hundred years. _I pursed my lips at Emmett's plan. Bella would not be fodder for jokes.

"It's the most convenient exit. If you're frightened, I can carry you," I teased.

"We have all eternity, and you're worried about the time it would take to walk to the back door?" Her voice sang the words and I was momentarily lost. "Well?"

"Renesmee and Jacob are downstairs. . . ."

"Oh. Is Renesmee…okay…with Jacob there?" she shivered. She wasn't aware of how safe Nessie was with Jacob. The last she knew was that Jacob hated the baby.

"He doesn't like her much." she added.

"Trust me, she is perfectly safe. I know exactly what Jacob is thinking," without giving away the whole truth, I replied. I promised Jacob that he would tell his story, but why did I do such a thing? I owed no duty to the unscrupulous mutt.

"Of course," Bella hesitated.

Keeping this unnatural secret was not a good way to start out Bella's new life. It unnecessarily complicated things. A simple statement. _"Jacob imprinted on Renesmee."_

Bella deserved to know the truth. What right did Jacob have in asking me that? Jasper sensed my dilemma. _No Edward, we can't risk her knowing! Get her to hunt then you can tell her anything you want. _

If Jasper were right, Bella needed to eat first. I hoped it would make a difference and I also hoped it wouldn't.

Though Bella had changed, I wasn't ready to refrain from protecting her. If a ton of little white lies or half truths would protect her, then I'd tell them. She wouldn't forgive herself is she harmed Jacob.

"Stalling?" I challenged trying to keep the moment upbeat.

"A little. I don't know how. . . ."

"Watch me," I gently stepped out of the window, fell casually to the ground, and landed without a sound. I looked up and there was my angel. She leaned out the window and didn't hesitate to take a step into the open air. Her arms were spread to her side and there was a glow from the light from the window. . . . and love came down.

"Right. Easy." Bella said when she landed just as soundless next to me. She tilted her head to the window.

"Bella?" I whispered.

"Yes?"

"That was quite graceful—even for a vampire."

"Thank you," she smiled. She gracefully removed her high heels and tossed the satin stilettos through the second story window where Alice caught them.

"Her fashion sense hasn't improved as much as her balance," Alice grumbled as she leaned out of the window.

Without waiting for further audio commentary, I grabbed my angel's hands and headed toward the river. When we were far enough away from the probing eyes of our family, we stopped.

"Are we swimming?" she asked.

"And ruin your pretty dress?" I responded huskily. I wanted her out of the dress, but I knew I would have to wait. I drew my finger along the neckline and enjoyed the smooth skin beneath. I focused. "No. We're jumping."

"You first," she challenged with a sexy grin.

She wanted me but now wasn't the time. I needed to distract her. A game of 'monkey see monkey do' was needed. I rocked my body back onto my hind foot and took two short bounds forward, leapt across the river, flipped my body and landed on the other side.

"Show-off," she muttered.

I laughed and waited to hear her steps. After a few seconds, I wondered if she decided to swim or needed further example.

"Bella? Do you want to watch again?" I called. The sound of cloth tearing rang out over the sounds in the forest. Then she flew over me and landed in the tree above.

"Was that good?" she wondered. Her excitement bubbled through her tinkling voice. It seemed she liked being in the air.

"Very good." I smiled. Yes, it was very good indeed but she needed to hunt.

"Can we do it again?"

"Focus, Bella—we're on a hunting trip."

"Oh, right." she nodded, her chestnut curls bouncing. "Hunting."

It was time to play. "Follow me . . . if you can."

I ran. I knew I was faster, but she was stronger. I wanted to test her speed. She pumped her legs so that each of my steps equaled three of hers. She was by my side and I slowed down so that we were side by side. I rejoiced at the thrill of running and was grateful to share it with her.

She was graceful as a gazelle, no longer the clumsy lamb. I fought my desire and stopped. She didn't immediately register that I was no longer by her.

"Bella," I called her to me. She whirled and skipped lightly to my side.

"Did you want to stay in the country? Or were you planning to continue on to Canada this afternoon?" I teased.

"This is fine," she agreed. "What are we hunting?"

"Elk. I thought something easy for your first time . . ." I recognized the trepidation in her face.

"Where?" she asked, her eyes panned the area answering the urgent call of her parched throat.

I placed my hands on her shoulders. "Hold still for a minute. Now close your eyes," I murmured unable to stop from gently stroking her cheekbone.

"Listen," I instructed. "What do you hear?"

She listened. There was not a sound within miles that she couldn't hear. I listened as well to the bend of a leaf at the winds moved under the wings of a butterfly. I waited for her to hear the thumping blood near the creek.

"By the creek, to the northeast?" she asked, her eyes remained closed.

I smiled at her realization. "Yes. Now . . . wait for the breeze again and . . . what do you smell?"

Like her hearing, she smelled everything within miles. She needed to distinguish the rich, earthy smell of insects, the nearby water — and she grinned when she found the scent. It was a warm smell, rich and tangy, stronger than the other odors. I knew it would not appeal to her thirst, but it was what she needed. Her nose wrinkled automatically.

I chuckled. "I know — it takes some getting used to."

"Three?" she guessed.

"Five. There are two more in the trees behind them."

"What do I do now?"

"What do you feel like doing? Don't think about it," I encouraged. "Just follow your instinct." I released her and took a step back. I was expectant, excited and nervous, much like a wildlife conservationist felt as an rescued lion was released back into the wild.

Bella drifted toward the scent, her body tilted downward to a crawl. Her eyes snapped open wider to see a big buck, two dozen antler points crowning his head, at the stream's edge, and the shadow-spotted shapes of the four others heading eastward into the forest at a leisurely pace.

It was time to sate her thirst. I was right to test her with elk. They were slow docile animals and it would be an easy kill for her powerful muscles. I watched as her instinct took over and she rocked back into her crouched position. The wind shifted and blew stronger from the south. With the wind came a new scent, one more tantalizing.

Bella didn't recognize that it was a prohibitive prey. She plunged out of the trees in a path perpendicular to the stream, scaring the elk into the forest. She raced after the new fragrance. She had no choice. It was compulsory.

I was careless. She awoke less than an hour ago and I messed up. A newborn was erratic, uncontrollable and impulsive. Her thirst forced her to the new, more enticing scent, but I couldn't allow her to indulge her hunger – not with that particular prey.

We both ran towards the smell and I caught up to her. I halted my own breathing and willed the extra strength needed to prevent the kill. She was much stronger than I and infinitely more dangerous. If she defended herself or fought me for the prey – I could lose. Her thirst was too great.

I cursed the fates for this abominable situation. I was careless, I should have checked. I could allow her to take her prey or fight. In order to become the victor, I would have to harm Bella or sacrifice myself. The harpies were laughing at my dilemma.

She slowed, aware of my approach but too focused on the mesmerizing smell of blood to stop the impending attack. I remembered my own first whiff of the hypnotic scent and my own mouth watered. It was two years after my change when Carlisle allowed me to experience the temptation. My new born strength had waned and Carlisle patiently waited for me to control the urge to drink while he sat on my chest.

I decided to protect the kill. If Bella could not control herself then I would break the neck and make the kill. Bella would not be a murderer.

I quickened my approach, purposely making my steps louder. I wanted to overtake her and reach the prey first – it was the only way to turn this around.

And like so many other times, she surprised me. She stopped.

In one fluid move she spun around, crouched offensively and snarled at me. At me! I cursed at my second error of less than five minutes of our hunt. In attack position she was nothing but fiercely dangerous and heart breakingly sexy. I raised my hands in welcome. It was enough to confuse her.

She regained her control to stop her instinctual action to defend herself. Thankfully a breeze crossed her face and with it the smell of the woods replaced the enthralling, mesmerizing smell of human blood.

I stood a few feet away unsure whether she would allow me to carry her away from the people just beyond the ridge. The breeze subsided and I willed Bella to hold her breath as she rose from her defensive crouch and understanding crossed her face.

I eased toward her, ready to take her in my arms and run away from that siren smell.

"I have to get away from here," she spit through her teeth.

Surprised, I halted. "Can you leave?"

Without answering, she ran straight north, away from the humans. _How was she able to stop the hunt? Damn she was incredible._ I ran after her and quickly caught up. She stopped dead in her tracks and I made a ride circle back to her. I touched her shoulders and I looked into her red eyes, amazed at the creature before me.

"How did you do that?" I whispered in awe.

"You let me beat you before, didn't you?" she demanded, ignoring my question.

I watched her chest rise as she inhaled and desire welled in my belly, but I was too curious. I shook my head freeing myself of the lust, she had to tell me, answer my question."Bella, how did you do it?" My tone was one of patience.

"Run away? I held my breath," she whispered.

"But how did you stop hunting?" I clarified.

"When you came up behind me . . ." Her expression changed to contrition, "I'm so sorry about that."

"Why are you apologizing to me? I'm the one who was horribly careless. I assumed no one would be so far from the trails, but I should have checked first. Such a stupid mistake! You have nothing to apologize for."

"But I growled at you!" she looked horrified.

"Of course you did. That's only natural. But I can't understand how you ran away."

"What else could I do? It might have been someone I know!"

Yes, that's exactly what a mature, self-possessed Bella would think and I no longer hindered my glee at my wife's astounding ability. I laughed, not a simple giggle but a gut wrenching loud belly roll that bounced off the trees and resounded to the sky. I was in love with the most amazing vampire in the universe and by some miracle she loved me too.

"Why are you laughing at me?"

I stopped at once, I'd scared her – possibly even hurt her feelings. "I'm not laughing at you, Bella. I'm laughing because I am in shock. And I am in shock because I am completely amazed."

"Why?"

"You shouldn't be able to do any of this. You shouldn't be so . . . so rational. You shouldn't be able to stand here discussing this with me calmly and coolly. And, much more than any of that, you should not have been able to break off mid-hunt with the scent of human blood in the air. Even mature vampires have difficulty with that — we're always very careful of where we hunt so as not to put ourselves in the path of temptation. Bella, you're behaving like you're decades rather than days old."

"Oh," her mouth formed the tantalizing 'o'.

I needed to touch her. In awe, I placed my hands on her face and smiled. "What wouldn't I give to be able to see into your mind for just this one moment."

In consolation, she rewarded me with her touch and drew her fingers around my lips.

"I thought I wouldn't feel this way for a long time? But I still want you," her eyes half lidded. _I want you too!_

Amazed, I blinked. "How can you even concentrate on that? Aren't you unbearably thirsty?"

She swallowed and then sighed. The moment was lost. We had a lifetime to explore each other, but for now, she needed to hunt. I waited until her eyes closed and she focused on the hunt. A trail of something wet, warm and familiar wafted across my face. She focused and pursued the animal. I cautiously followed her as she darted through the trees. I backed off, allowing her to hunt without the distraction of my scent and desire. I heard the startled cry of a mountain lion.

When I reached the location, Bella was perched on a branch she shared with the carnivorous feline. The lion had its fangs exposed and clawed at my wife, and caused damage to her dress but not her flesh. I was in pure agony, as I watched. A mountain lion would have destroyed her alabaster skin were she human, but I forced myself to remember she was a vampire. I released my role as Bella's protector in this battle. I quickly came to terms with the revelation and watched the fight.

Bella launched herself at the feral cat and both of them fell to the forest floor. Thankfully, it wasn't much of a fight – my anxiety wouldn't have been able to withstand a long battle. She easily locked her teeth into the cat and quickly drained the blood. After she finished, she stood and attempted to clean away the mess of the hunt.

"Hmm,"was all I managed after watching her hunt, drink and stand exposed by her torn clothing – it was an erotic moment.

"I guess I could have done that better?" she exclaimed. She was covered in dirt, hair knotted, and her dress was bloodstained and hanging in tatters.

"You did perfectly fine, it's just that . . . it was much more difficult for me to watch than it should have been."

She raised an eyebrow, confused.

"It goes against the grain, letting you wrestle with lions," I explained. "I was having an anxiety attack the whole time."

"Silly."

"I know. Old habits die hard. I like the improvements to your dress, though." My eyes roamed at the sparkling flesh of her torso. Yes, I liked it very much indeed.

"Why am I still thirsty?" she swallowed dryly.

"Because you're young," I answered soothingly.

She sighed. "And I don't suppose there are any other mountain lions nearby?"

I shook my head, "plenty of deer, though."

She made a face. "They don't smell as good."

"Herbivores. The meat-eaters smell more like humans," I explained, hoping it would be enough to satisfy her thirst.

"Not that much like humans," she disagreed.

"We could go back," I challenged with a smile, glaring at the flesh peeping through the tattered dress. "Whoever it was out there, if they were men, they probably wouldn't even mind death if you were the one delivering it. In fact, they would think they were already dead and gone to heaven the moment they saw you."

She rolled my eyes and snorted. "Let's go hunt some stinking herbivores."

We found a herd and I joined in the feast. My thirst was subdued, but I continued to feed, hoping to diminish the desire for something other than blood. I wanted something warm and soft and Bella. When I finished my third elk, I caught Bella watching me.

"No longer thirsty?" I asked.

She shrugged and I was certain I could see a faint blush come to her face. "You distracted me. You're much better at it than I am."

"Centuries of practice," I boasted.

"Just one."

I laughed at her correction and joy welled in my silent heart. My Bella was more. "Are you done for today? Or did you want to continue?"

"Done, I think." She cocked her head to the side, deep in thought and then said, "I want to see Renesmee."

My heart continued to swell with happiness. It was time for my wife and daughter to meet. In minutes I would hold them both. I reached for Bella's firm glistening hand and she rewarded me by obliging. _Mine_.

With our hands linked, she caressed my face with her other hand. The furnace heat of her touch was absent and I missed it. My head automatically nuzzled into her head and the feeling was more than the old touch. I felt her gentle soothing cupping and it was familiar, as if it was always there but hidden. I decided that I didn't miss her hot touch because it was so distracting and I was forced to control myself.

I relaxed into her hand and rejoiced that I was no longer constrained, so I reveled in my wife's touch. It was a faint hint of touches to come.

She reached and took me in her arms. This would be our first private embrace, I welcomed the moment – no longer curious as to her ability to control her actions or frightened if I couldn't control mine. She'd always pushed us to explore our love and I had been the stronger of our pairing but now she proved her strength with her gentle touch.

And in true Bella-like fashion, she ignored self preservation and urgently pressed her body to mine. She was strong, and curiously, I felt secure in her arms, although she was the strongest vampire I'd ever met. My desire for her welled and I relentlessly took in her taste to my lips and inhaled her scent. I reveled that she was all mine. My Bella.

I kissed her fearlessly, with all my passion. Her strong hands gently knotted into my hair. It was true blissfulness. Our first kiss as immortals, one we would never forget. I loved this woman, my Bella, and I allowed my body to sink into her embrace. Realization hit as I felt myself falling in love all over again and the sky came into view above my head.

"Oops," she laughed underneath me. "I didn't mean to tackle you like that. Are you okay?"

"Slightly better than okay," I laughed. Yes, much, much better actually. But we couldn't linger. _Could_ _we_? "Renesmee?" I reminded her.

"Renesmee," she agreed. I felt my body lift from the ground as she picked me up. I shook my head at the irony.

"Tell me about her," she insisted as I took her hand.

"She's like nothing else in the world," I couldn't help smiling. Thoughts of Renesmee would always make me happy. I was anxious for Bella's reunion with our daughter. It was our happily ever after**. **

"How much is she like you? How much like me? Or like I was, anyway," she quizzed.

"It seems a fairly even divide," I answered, certain there was pride in my voice at what we had created with love.

"She was warm-blooded."

"Yes. She has a heartbeat, though it runs a little bit faster than a human's. Her temperature is a little bit hotter than usual, too." I smiled, "she sleeps."

"Really?" Bella asked incredulously.

"Quite well for a newborn," I chuckled. "The only parents in the world who don't need sleep, and our child already sleeps through the night."

"She has exactly your color eyes—so that didn't get lost, after all." I loved that about our daughter and that I still had Bella's amazing deep pools of chocolate to gaze upon. "They're so beautiful."

"And the vampire parts?" she asked.

"Her skin seems about as impenetrable as ours. Not that anyone would dream of testing that."

Bella hung on my every word as I described our daughter. I allowed my voice to add to the picture I painted.

"Her diet . . . well, she prefers to drink blood. Carlisle continues to try to persuade her to drink some baby formula, too, but she doesn't have much patience with it. Can't say that I blame her — nasty-smelling stuff, even for human food." I cringed at the memory of the foul smelling concoction.

"Persuade her?"

My lips parted, "she's intelligent, shockingly so, and progressing at an immense pace. Though she doesn't speak — yet — she communicates quite effectively."

"Doesn't. Speak. Yet." she made each word a breathless sentence. Perhaps, I was too good at describing Renesmee because Bella was overwhelmed. I slowed us down so I could alleviate her fears.

"What do you mean, she communicates effectively?" she demanded.

"I think it will be easier for you to . . . see for yourself. It's rather difficult to describe."

She thought for a second and appeared to accept my reply because she changed the subject.

"Why is Jacob still here?" she puzzled. "How can he stand it? Why should he? Why should he have to suffer more?"

"Jacob isn't suffering," I said. I held my urge to confess his secret and immediately became angry. "Though I might be willing to change his condition," I added nearly silently, forgetting she had vampire hearing.

"Edward!" she hissed. She yanked me to a stop, probably more forcefully than she intended. "How can you say that? Jacob has given up everything to protect us! What I've put him through—!"

"You'll see exactly how I can say that," I muttered, as I rubbed my arm. "I promised him that I would let him explain, but I doubt you'll see it much differently than I do. Of course, I'm often wrong about your thoughts, aren't I?" I felt a little annoyed that I had to defend him and pursed my lips as she recorded my reaction.

"Edward, I don't understand."

She frowned, confusion written on her face. I stroked her cheek, patiently. "It's harder than you make it look, I know. I remember."

"I don't like feeling confused."

"I know. And so let's get you home, so that you can see it all for yourself." I looked at the curve of her chest, barely covered by the remains of her dress. It wouldn't do to share the view. I took off my shirt and gave it to her.

"That bad?" she asked. I nodded as she accepted my shirt and put it on.

"I'll race you," she said and then she winked at me, "no throwing the game this time!"

I was momentarily dazzled by the implications of the wink but accepted the challenge. I dropped her hand and grinned. "On your mark . . ."

* * *

**NOTES**

**Amigas, my daughter reminded me on yesterday that BD would be released soon and I realized that I should at least finish this delve into dwards pov before the movie release. (I know some of you thought this day would never come but I will finish.) There is one chapter left and I only need to edit the awful, choppie writing. No epilogue.**

**Thanks so much for reading and reviewing – I appreciate all the favorites as well.  
**


	21. Chapter 21 A family begins

I wasn't quite ready to release all my speed and leave Bella. I worried whether she could follow our scents back to the house, although that was a flimsy excuse. I wanted to stay near her. There was an aura that was exponentially Bella and the closer I was to her, the happier I was. But ultimately, I was competitive and the desire to win the spirited jog made me move faster. Minutes later, the only obstacle to victory was the river. My strategy was to run to the edge and hop across, landing victorious. I continued my momentum when I felt the wind shift and I saw my awesome wife flying over my head, poised to beat me across the river. At the same time, I caught the scent of Jacob on the other side of the divide.

Her early jump meant Bella would land head on with the blood flowing through Jacob's veins. _She can test her restraint on me. _Jacob thought. His peril and the temptation of Jacob's thudding heart to Bella was enough to force me to forgo my strategy. I sped up and literally ran across the river. I stopped a few inches in front of Bella, just after she landed from her elegant flight over the river.

"Ha!" Bella exclaimed, gloating in her victory. She cocked her head searching for me, startled that I was so near. I huffed at Jacob's recklessness as I held Bella in place.

"Don't breathe," I ordered. Jacob's loud thoughts rang in my head. _I'm not letting her near the baby until we are sure that she won't attack. _

For the love of all that is holy, why does he act as if my baby dearest is not my responsibility? I hated Jacob and his ludicrous insinuations. I'd kill him before I'd let him keep Bella away from our daughter.

Bella's eyes searched for the reason for my demand or perhaps she sought out the source of the thumping heartbeat. I watched as her eyes locked on something. I turned my head to confirm what she saw.

Jacob was standing guard between us and the house. His arms were crossed over his bare chest and his teeth were clinched. He appointed himself gate keeper. I debated whether to stop Bella if she attacked him or to attack myself. I steadied my anger, not wanting to ignite or confuse Bella further.

I turned and stood unyielding in and stared at Jacob. He was massive. His bare muscles and wide chest and blocked our view as well as the path to the house where Renesmee waited. I scanned the brush at the edge of the woods to see two Quileute wolves. It was Leah and Seth who were demanding that Jacob reconsider his plan. I ignored the wolves thoughts. Jacob took a heavy step towards us, squashing the innocent life beneath his enormous foot. His threatening size and blockade angered me further and I was unsure I could contain myself.

"Carefully, Jacob," I warned as I pushed my chest forward into an attack position, ready to defend Bella. I automatically growled as I listened to his suggestion.

_Okay, I know I can't keep her away from Nessie, but we should test her first. Make sure she's ready. If she can control herself with my blood, then I'll let her see the baby, _Jacob thought_. _

I bared my teeth and shook my head. He was making this more difficult than needed and usurping my authority. Bella didn't need to be tested by placing temptation at her lips, it was a fool hearty plan. Moreover, Renesmee was safe.

Bella couldn't be expected to hold her anger indefinitely, especially if she were pushed. Undoubtedly, this was a bad plan. A snarl came from the forest that echoed my beliefs. Bella had not taken a breath since she landed and I sensed her tension.

"Maybe this isn't the best way—" I began.

"You think it would be better to let her near the baby first?" Jacob interrupted. "It's safer to see how Bella does with me. I heal fast."

I turned around to look at Bella. She was stronger than they knew. She could handle seeing her daughter, a test wasn't necessary. She didn't need any additional lures interfering with her reunion. She was ready.

"I don't think so," I shook my head.

_It won't hurt to try. If she doesn't attack me then I won't stand in her way, _Jacob thought.

I considered that Jacob would be temporarily injured or killed. She had the advantage over him. I stared in my wife's eyes. She was amazing beyond belief and more than capable of passing this silly test, although failure would could mean his death. I could live with that.

I stepped to the side, "It's your neck, I guess."

Leah growled furiously. _If she hurts him, I'll kill you, _she threatened. I shrugged the ridiculous threat off.

I watched as Bella almost smiled, unsure. She seemed to recognize her friend and smiled fully. Jealousy cursed through my veins. Did she feel more for him now? I hoped not, for it would be unrequited and what would that mean for our family?

He smiled at her knowing full well that he had no right to taunt her with a useless test. I shook my head, ready to end his deception. Bella cocked her head to the side and a 'v' formed between her eyebrows. She was confused with Jacob's willing sacrifice or perhaps she was tempted by his blood.

If she resolved her confusion and discovered the truth, Jacob would not survive her wrath. I'd make sure he wouldn't.

He grinned wider and shuddered slightly. Then he insulted my wife. "I gotta say it, Bells. You're a freak show."

"Watch yourself, mongrel," I growled. He could have his test but there was no way he would insult her in the process.

Bella took a breath of air from the breeze behind her, it helped her to speak. "No, he's right." She smiled reassuringly at me, letting me know she was under control. She turned back to Jacob. "The eyes are really something, aren't they?"

"Super-creepy. But it's not as bad as I thought it would be."

"Gee—thanks for the amazing compliment!"

Their playful banter irritated me, but seemed to relax Bella. Jacob was being his usual self, the behavior endeared Bella and was familiar. I ignored my jealousy of her affections to him and waited with bated breath for him to reveal his abominable imprint.

Instead of a confession, he rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean. You still look like you — sort of. Maybe it's not the look so much as . . . you are Bella. I didn't think it would feel like you were still here." He smiled at his confession.

"Anyway, I guess I'll get used to the eyes soon enough," he chuckled.

"You will?" she asked, confused. There was no apparent reason for Jacob to be around us. The time for confession was at hand. He looked at me.

"Thanks," Jacob nodded. "I didn't know if you'd be able to keep it from her, promise or not. Usually, you just give her everything she wants."

His quip was an insult and discounted the numerous times I held my temper and desire. He assumed too much and knew nothing of the depth of my desire to protect her and how happy I would be if he wasn't around.

"Maybe I'm hoping she'll get irritated and rip your head off," I replied, even more annoyed.

"You just might get your wish," Jacob snorted out loud.

"What's going on? Are you two keeping secrets from me?" Bella queried, trying to make sense of the exchange.

I arched my eyebrow to Jacob letting him know he was on his own.

"I'll explain later," Jacob answered. _Test first then explanations. _"First, let's get this show on the road."

He walked towards Bella, slowly as if he was approaching a wild animal. I hissed and Jacob only grinned as he attempted to not look threatening. Leah stepped out of the woods to flank Jacob or possibly protect him. Seth much taller than Leah and stronger took position on Jacob's other side. Their staggered approach was intimidating. I crouched ready to defend Bella. This was not a fair test, it was more of a challenge, one I would not allow. Jacob immediately understood.

"Cool it, guys," Jacob yelled to Seth and Leah.

They didn't immediately stand down. _We need you to lead this pack. We wont see you injured_, Leah thought.

But, I wasn't going to allow Bella to be hurt. I stepped toward Jacob, tilting my head in challenge, a reminder that I was Bella's protector.

"Stay out of this." Jacob ordered his pack. He stepped forward and stopped close enough to Bella so that we both felt his body heat. I could smell the unmistakable scent of wolf, woodsy and rotted meat.

Bella swallowed dryly and steadied herself.

"C'mon, Bells. Do your worst," Jacob challenged.

Leah hissed, unable to defy Jacob's order to stand down.

Jacob was noticeable cautious, but determined. Bella, just as cautious, continued to hold her breath and stared at Jacob.

"I'm getting older here, Bella," Jacob taunted. "Okay, not technically, but you get the idea. Go on, take a whiff." He leaned closer.

Bella looked at me. "Hold on to me," she said and leaned back into my chest.

I did as I was told and held her arms, certain that if she wanted she could easily free herself and take my arms off in the process. I certainly wasn't going to lose an arm for Jacob though.

Bella wrinkled her nose when she took a small breath. She took a bigger whiff and cringed.

"Huh. I can see what everyone's been going on about. You stink, Jacob," Bella declared.

I burst into laughter, she was right. He stunk and so did his test. I released my grip and settled my arms around her waist. The audience in the house chuckled at Bella's remark. It was good to laugh. Seth joined in the laughter and came closer as Leah backed off. _Stupid wolf, _Leah grumbled_. _She stunk too, I mused.

"Look who's talking," Jacob said. He dramatically held his fingers apart and pinched his nose. I ignored the impudent child's attempt at humor.

"I love you," I whispered in Bella's ear and squeezed her closer. In her simple remark, she told me everything about the future of her relationship with Jacob. They would never be more than friends, if she didn't kill him when she found out about his imprint. I grinned, unfortunately Jacob grinned as well.

"Okay, so I passed, right?" Bella asked, hopeful to see our baby. "Now are you going to tell me what this big secret is?"

_Shit! _Jacob was obviously nervous. "It's nothing you need to worry about this second. . . ."

Emmett chuckled loudly. _The mutt is about to meet his maker._ The thoughts of my family were anticipatory as Bella took in her surrounding, waiting for an answer. Then her eyes caught sight of herself in the reflection of the glass window. She searched for recognition but I realized that she wasn't looking at herself but just beyond the thin paned glass.

"Renesmee," she whispered. Bella tensed, but I wouldn't allow her to second guess herself. Renesmee was in reach.

"Come and see," I murmured. "I know you can handle this."

"You'll help me?" she whispered quietly.

"Of course I will." I moved to her side, pulling her to the house.

"And Emmett and Jasper—just in case?"

"We'll take care of you, Bella. Don't worry, we'll be ready. None of us would risk Renesmee. I think you'll be surprised at how entirely she's already wrapped us all around her little fingers. She'll be perfectly safe, no matter what."

We took a step to our daughter together. The way it should be, it felt so right, exactly as the fates intended, although they cut it very close, much too close for comfort. But all was forgiven as we took a second step, until Jacob appeared in our path.

"Are you sure, bloodsucker?" he demanded. _I won't allow Nessie to be hurt!_ "I don't like this. Maybe she should wait-"

"You had your test, Jacob." I cut him off as I reminded him. I continued to pull Bella towards our house, undeterred by Jacob's wide stance.

"But—," Jacob began.

"But nothing," I interrupted. This had gone on long enough. "Bella needs to see our daughter. Get out of her way," I growled.

Jacob looked from me to Bella. _It's not safe._ He took off running into the house. _I'm not going to let her hurt the baby. _

I rolled my eyes at Jacob.

"Shall we?" I encouraged Bella.

She nodded, unsure of herself. It was Jacob's fault but I wouldn't let her miss her meeting with Renesmee. We squeezed hands and I led her into the house.

The family stood in a staggered line welcoming Bella and unnecessarily defending Renesmee. Rosalie was several paces behind the rest of them, farther away from the front door holding the baby. Jacob was standing in front of her, guarding but not entirely blocking Renesmee from view.

"I was out just two days?" Bella questioned.

I nodded. Renesmee had grown phenomenally since birth and Bella's confusion was understandable. She didn't recognize our child because the baby no longer looked like a new born of three days but appeared to be months old. We both admired our daughter's soft bronze-colored curls and her chocolate brown eyes. Renesmee returned our gaze with childlike wonder but with adult awareness and intelligence.

Renesmee reached toward us and realized that she could not join us. She touched Rosalie's throat. Rosalie patted Renesmee's hand against her neck and murmured, "Yes, that's her."

Renesmee locked her eyes on her mother and smiled showing her tiny white teeth and dimpled cheeks. Bella stepped toward her and unexpectedly for Bella everyone moved very fast to block her path.

Emmett and Jasper barricaded Bella's way, standing shoulder to shoulder, hands forward. Calisle and Esme flanked them. Unsure of Bella's reaction to their sudden movements, I gripped Bella on the tops of her arms. Rosalie backed away to the back door, her arms clutching Renesmee. Jacob moved, too, keeping his protective stance. Alice was the only one who held her place.

"Oh, give her some credit," Alice admonished. "She wasn't going to do anything. You'd want a closer look, too."

Bella relaxed and her body became sure. She knew everyone was on edge.

"I'm okay," she promised. I loosened my grip but her words wasn't reassuring to everyone, especially Jasper. I listened to Jasper's internal dialogue. _I don't know, she isn't feeling anything per se. She likes the way the baby smells, but I'm not sure she has her thirst in check. She's still very confused. _

"Keep close, though, just in case," Bella cautioned.

Renesmee began to struggle and reached for Bella. My daughter wanted her mother and they were in the way.

"Jazz, Em, let us through. Bella's got this," I ordered.

"Edward, the risk—," Jasper said. _She's not letting me know her emotions._

"Minimal. Listen, Jasper — on the hunt she caught the scent of some hikers who were in the wrong place at the wrong time. . . ."

Everyone jumped to the wrong conclusion and reacted. Carlisle sucked in a shocked breath. Esme's face dropped in disappointment. Jasper's eyes widened, but he nodded just a tiny bit. _She drank human blood and it's sated her thirst. _

Jacob thought, _Ew, that's disgusting._ Emmett shrugged, _no big deal. We all can't be perfect_. Rosalie was indifferent, _so what, that doesn't mean that the baby is safe_.

"Edward!" Carlisle admonished. "How could you be so irresponsible?"

"I know, Carlisle, I know." I accepted my blame, but not ready to reveal the truth. "I was just plain stupid. I should have taken the time to make sure we were in a safe zone before I set her loose."

"Edward," Bella called. She wanted to take responsibility for her own actions.

"He's absolutely right to rebuke me, Bella," I grinned. "I made a huge mistake. The fact that you are stronger than anyone I've ever known doesn't change that."

Alice rolled her eyes. _Edward! You let her ruin her dress and now she's dressed in your shirt. She looks like a derelict from some cheap science fiction sex movie and you're teasing everyone._ She was not fooled by my attempt at humor. "Tasteful joke, Edward."

"I wasn't making a joke. I was explaining to Jasper why I know Bella can handle this. It's not my fault everyone jumped to conclusions."

"Wait," Jasper gasped. "She didn't hunt the humans?"

"She started to . . . she was entirely focused on the hunt."

"What happened?" Carlisle interjected. _This is remarkable, earth shattering if what I think you're telling us._

I reenacted the event, adding movements to increase the thrill of the story. "She heard me behind her and reacted defensively. As soon as my pursuit broke into her concentration, she snapped right out of it. I've never seen anything to equal her. She realized at once what was happening, and then . . . she held her breath and ran away."

"Whoa," Emmett murmured. "Seriously?"

"He's not telling it right," Bella exclaimed. "He left out the part where I growled at him."

"Did ya get in a couple of good swipes?" Emmett asked eagerly.

"No! Of course not."

"No, not really? You really didn't attack him?"

"Emmett!" Bella protested.

"Aw, what a waste," Emmett groaned. "And here you're probably the one person who could take him—since he can't get in your head to cheat—and you had a perfect excuse, too." He sighed. "I've been dying to see how he'd do without that advantage."

"I would never," Bella glared at him, offended.

"You see what I mean?" I asked Jasper. I touched his clenched fist.

"It's not natural," Jasper whispered.

"She could have turned on you—she's only hours old!" Esme scolded, putting her hand against her heart. "Oh, we should have gone with you."

I enjoyed the trick I pulled on my family, but then I heard Renesmee. _Mine, my mother. _ At the same instant, Bella leaned forward to get a better view. They both were impatient and I didn't want to deny either any longer.

"Edward, Please?" Bella begged.

Jasper didn't move. They all refused Bella passage. It was Alice who finally convinced them to allow Bella through. "Jazz, this isn't anything you've seen before," Alice said quietly. "Trust me." Their eyes met for a short second, and then Jasper nodded. He moved out of our way, but put one hand on Bella's shoulder and walked with her.

Bella took slow, deliberate steps, a reassurance that she was under control. Everyone moved with us as Rosalie stood firm while our daughter who struggled to reach Bella. A high ringing wail escaped Renesmee frustrated lips. It was the first time she voiced herself. The sound was a cry for something and we all surrounded the child, except Bella, who was ignored.

It was Jacob who spoke first, his self appointed guardianship annoyed me.

"What's the matter? Is she hurt? What happened?" Jacob shouted, making the rest of us more anxious. We each tried to sooth the baby and I reached for her but Jacob lifted her out of Rosalie's arms before my hands could make purchase. I growled.

"No, she's fine," Rosalie reassured us.

Renesmee touched Jacob's cheek, _I want her._

"See?" Rosalie told him. "She just wants Bella."

"She wants me?" Bella whispered.

"_Of course she does_," Esme thought.

I realized my error in leaving Bella's side and darted back to her. I pulled her forward.

"She's been waiting for you for almost three days."

In true Bella fashion, she patiently assured us all. "Jake — I'm fine."

Renesmee whimpered and eagerly stretched her little hands, grasping into fists again and again. _Mine, mine. _My heart ached at the separation between her and her mother. Bella was hesitant while Renesmee was eager. Our little girl, so dazzling beautiful, recognized her mother from the moment she heard Bella's voice. A flash of the horrid scene of Bella, laid out on the makeshift operating table, pale and covered in blood, too weak to hold her head up played in Renesmee's thoughts. I shivered, grateful that she now had a new reality of her mother, but she she had perfect memory.

Renesmee grunted again, leaping forward towards Bella and away from Jacob. The child had no sense of danger only want. _Mine, mine_. Her thoughts were complex in the love and desire she had for Bella, yet simple in the need to be held and to hold.

I stopped as Bella took the last step to Renesmee and closed the distance. She reached her hands forward and gently pulled our daughter to her arms. Jacob passed Renesmee to Bella, but he did not release his grip. _I'm not letting go - just in case_

Renesmee looked up and smiled. _Mine, _she cooed silently_._ Renesmee wanted to talk to Bella. Her tiny hand was placed on Bella's face and images were flashed to Bella. Bella gasped, sending me into alert. My grip on Bella tightened and I watched Renesmee explain her memories of her mother. I wondered if Renesmee was successful in penetrating Bella's mind. The two had a strong bond, but Bella was immune to mind reading. I anxiously looked into Bella's eyes for the answer. I saw bewilderment, perhaps she did see the images. Renesmee's hand dropped from her mother's cheek and smiled wider, dimpling again.

"What . . . was . . . that?" Bella stuttered, confirming that she wasn't immune to Renesmee's talents.

"What did you see?" Rosalie asked curiously, leaning around Jacob. The mutt was still holding my daughter.

Renesmee sent her thoughts where no talented vampire had penetrated and I was fascinated by the realization. Something was different about Renesmee's abilities or her bond to Bella. The disparity was beyond my grasp.

"What did she show you?" Rosalie asked again.

"She showed me that?" Bella whispered, amazed.

"I told you it was hard to explain," I answered. "But effective as means of communications go."

"What was it?" Jacob joined in the discussion. I held my irritation.

"Um. Me. I think. But I looked terrible," Bella answered, indulging Jacob.

"It was the only memory she had of you," I explained. "She's letting you know that she's made the connection, that she knows who you are."

"But how did she do that?"

Renesmee played with Bella's hair. She had shared enough of her thoughts and was happily comparing her own locks to those of her mother's.

"How do I hear thoughts? How does Alice see the future?" I asked, not expecting an answer. "She's gifted."

"It's an interesting twist," Carlisle interjected. "Like she's doing the exact opposite of what you can."

"Interesting," I agreed. "I wonder . . ." I didn't finish my sentence because Carlisle was shouting silently in his thoughts distracting me from my own. _Do you know how amazing this is? She can connect to anyone. This child is a phenomenal, barely three days old. What more can she do? As soon as she is old enough, I can think of a few images I'd like for her to share with humans, that is if she can control her thirst. Imagine how she will help the confidence of others. My granddaughter is awesome!_

I chuckled at Carlisle's ramblings and his use of more modern terms, but my eyes were on my girls. I watched my baby dearest caress her mother's face.

"I remember you, too," Bella told Renesmee quietly and kissed her forward. Bella smelled our daughter without any noticeable problem. A smirk crossed Bella's face. Oh how I wished I knew her thoughts.

"She's fine," Alice murmured. I nodded my head in agreement.

"Haven't we experimented enough for one day?" Jacob asked, ruining the reunion. He interjected his irrational need to protect Renesmee. "Okay, Bella's doing great, but let's not push it." I shook my head and glared at him to back down.

I then saw the others, their presence no longer needed or wanted. We were all within touching distance of Renesmee. Although, Bella was handling this reunion exquisitely, my family wasn't. They crowded her space, tainting the moment for . Worse of all was Jacob. He hadn't explained himself to Bella as he had promised and Bella had a confused frustrated look on her face. I glared at them all. Apparently, Bella felt the same irritation but Jacob was clueless. He fixed himself more solidly in the close knit circle where we all stood.

"What is your problem, Jacob?" Bella demanded. She brought Renesmee closer to her and Jacob tethered himself to Renesmee, who was contently sandwiched in the middle. 

_For the love of it all. _I bared my teeth and hissed. "Just because I understand, it doesn't mean I won't throw you out, Jacob. Bella's doing extraordinarily well. Don't ruin the moment for her."

"I'll help him toss you, dog," Rosalie promised. "I owe you a good kick in the gut."

While we glared at Jacob ready to destroy him, he looked at a dimpled faced Renesmee. There was no doubt that he would brave anything to ensure her safety because here he stood, surrounded by eight different vampires, his natural enemy. The gaze was one of care and protection, it radiated an imprint.

"No!" Bella gasped.

_By George, I think she's got it_, Emmett mused. Jasper held onto Bella as I reached around and secured her chest.

_Oh shit, _Jacob thought as he saw understanding in Bella's eyes. He moved Renesmee to his full embrace and attempted to step back. His retreat was blocked by Rose and Emmett. His eyes widened. Renesmee whimpered from the loss of contact with her mother.

"Rose," Bella gritted between her teeth as her body shook with anger. "Take Renesmee," she ordered.

Rosalie held her hands out and Jacob handed my daughter to her at once. They all took careful steps backing away from Bella. I clinched my embrace and held my wife in place.

"Edward, I don't want to hurt you, so please let go of me," Bella warned. She knew.

I questioned the sanity of letting go, but Bella seemed self contained. Again, I would not risk my limbs for Jacob, who was in big trouble. I deliberated how to prevent his destruction, when I wanted to assist. Together, Bella and I could rid ourselves of the troublesome dog. I sighed not sure I could allow her to have eternal guilt for killing Jacob, even under these circumstances.

"Go stand in front of Renesmee," Bella advised, reasonably.

It was enough of a distraction to jar me from my fantasy of Jacob's demise. I released her to her own devises and left Jacob to face her wrath on his own. Renesmee needed my protection, as Bella stated.

Bella leaned into a crouch, taking slow stead steps toward her prey – the object of her anger.

She gnarled and from her throat she barked, "You didn't."

Foolishly Jacob did not protect himself but raised his hands in defeat, as he backed away from Bella's approach. His words made it worse. "You know it's not something I can control."

"You stupid mutt! How could you? My baby!"

Jacob backed out of the front door as Bella stalked him and half-ran backward down the stairs. "It wasn't my idea, Bella!" he shouted.

"I've held her all of one time, and already you think you have some moronic wolfy claim to her? She's mine."

"I can share," he said pleadingly as he retreated across the lawn.

"Pay up," Emmett said to Jasper. We all stood on the porch watching the confrontation. _I told you she would attack him within three minutes of finding out. This ought to be good._ Emmett thought.

"How dare you imprint on my baby? Have you lost your mind?" She was furious, barely containing her anger. Her steps were certain as she hunted him into a defenseless corner.

"It was involuntary!" he insisted, backing into the trees.

Then he wasn't alone as Leah and Seth approached. I stepped down from the porch, shaking my head sympathetically at Jacob. I was certain Bella could take on the two huge wolves, as well as Jacob, but more certain that she wouldn't attack him. They would not stop a mother protecting her young, especially when the mother was a newborn vampire. Jacob and his pack would all fall within seconds of Bella's attack, if she chose to do so, but we could not allow an attack. Leah stupidly snapped at Bella. A fearsome snarl ripped through Bella's teeth back at Leah. Bella returned to her advance to Jacob. I shook my head, this was digressing quickly, but Bella was amazingly constrained.

"Bella, would you try to listen for just a second? Please?" Jacob begged. "Leah, back off," he demanded using his alpha authority.

Leah stopped and bared her teeth at Bella. Bella's intentions were uncertain, as she weighed her options. She ignored Leah.

"Why should I listen?" Bella hissed.

"Because you're the one who told me this. Do you remember? You said we belonged in each other's lives, right? That we were family. You said that was how you and I were supposed to be. So . . . now we are. It's what you wanted."

That was a bad move. Bella wasn't able to process her fading human memories very well, she barely remembered Renesmee. Her thinly contained rage was obvious, yet she hadn't snapped.

"You think you'll be part of my family as my son-in-law!" she screeched.

My body shivered at the thought of Renesmee marrying Jacob. I stepped closer to the stand-off and listened to Jacob's thoughts. He was disgusted at the thought. Bella's fists clinched and her jaws were tight as a growl echoed in her throat.

Emmett laughed. _There's no stopping her now, Jacob is going down._

"Stop her, Edward," Esme murmured to me. "She'll be unhappy if she hurts him."

But I didn't want to stop her, nor did she need help. Her anger would not push her beyond what she was capable of handling. Her hands were in front of her, worrying her fingers and clinching, it was her calming mechanism from her human life. Yes, she was still self controlled.

"No!" Jacob was insulted. "How can you even look at it that way? She's just a baby, for crying out loud!"

"That's my point!" Bella yelled.

"You know I don't think of her that way! Do you think Edward would have let me live this long if I did? All I want is for her to be safe and happy — is that so bad? So different from what you want?" he argued.

I looked at Jasper. "Amazing, isn't she?" I said, proudly.

"She hasn't gone for his throat even once," Carlisle agreed, sounding stunned.

"Fine, you win this one," Emmett said grudgingly to Jasper. It had been a tense five minutes.

"You're going to stay away from her," Bella hissed up at Jacob.

"I can't do that!"

"Try. Starting now," she growled ready to force the separation and enforce her command.

"It's not possible. Do you remember how much you wanted me around three days ago? How hard it was to be apart from each other? That's gone for you now, isn't it?"

I wasn't sure where he was going with this, but it wasn't looking good him, although Bella seemed to consider his words.

"That was her," Jacob told Bella, as he pointed to Renesmee. "From the very beginning. We had to be together, even then." He pointed between the two of them.

"Run away while you still can," Bella threatened. She wasn't falling for his ridiculous theory.

"C'mon, Bells! Nessie likes me, too," Jacob insisted.

Bella stopped. She froze. "What…did you call her?"

Jacob took a step farther back, managing to look sheepish. "Well," he mumbled, "that name you came up with is kind of a mouthful and—"

"You nicknamed my daughter after the Loch Ness Monster?" she screeched.

And then, my well controlled, amazing wife lunged for his throat. I didn't predict that the nickname would make Bella snap. In fact, I thought it was an acceptable pet name. After I made sure Renesmee was secure, I rushed to Bella's side, too late to stop the bones from cracking in Seth's legs as he leapt in front of Jacob.

She crouched ready for another go at Jacob. I grabbed Bella around her waist, lifted and turned her away from Jacob. "Bella! She's watching." I screamed. Bella relaxed into my arms. It was enough to break off her attack. "Run," I whispered and freed her from my hold.

She took off towards the river and like an experienced hurdler she bounded it in one jump and continued her run through the forest. I stepped to follow but I heard a resounding 'no.' I turned and saw Renesmee struggling in Rosalie's arms. _No, mine. Mine._ Renesmee thought.

"You've got to take her with you." Rosalie dashed to my side and handed me the baby. Renesmee placed her hand to my face and showed me her new image of Bella. It was nearly as disturbing as the original one. Bella's teeth were bared and her face was contorted into pure hatred, it was the last few moments of Bella's attack. Just as quickly, Renesmee flipped the image to their reunion, the moments of their embrace. She wanted her mother.

_I want her too._

I shifted Renesmee in my arms and found Alice standing beside me and slung a diaper bag over my arm. "She's waiting for you . . . both." Alice smiled. I saw Bella in Alice's thoughts and gasped and the serene picture. _Stop admiring your wife and go. _

I took off running. I knew the sun rose and set with my Bella, at least in my world it did. I was so arrogant, even from the moment I first saw her in the crowded cafeteria. I thought I could resist and now that she was no mere mortal, I had to be with her, it was ridiculous for me to resist. Renesmee was unable to resist as well.

I held the baby to my chest and ran. We crossed the river and sprinted through the forest until we were where we were supposed to be. I stopped. The trees hid us from view but Bella's presence was evident. We could smell her scent in the path she took. There were newly felled trees, strong with their familiar scent of pine and oak, strewn along the trail as she destroyed them. Mostly, we knew she was near because her ranting and frustrations were loudly melodic.

We were just far enough away from her, unseen, but she could sense our presence. I admired the best thing that ever happened to me. Her controlled rage was beyond endearing. I listened to her screaming, angrily.

"I never should have returned to Forks. Edward and I should have continued on to Alaska until I was old enough and weaker. Jacob could be dead and how would I explain that to Billy? The entire family would be charged with murder, especially because I wouldn't be able to be around for the investigation. That was so stupid of me.

"Imprinting on a baby! What was that boy thinking? I could still kill him. Telling me it was destiny, as if I didn't understand my feelings. Yes, I could kill him, dead. I should have killed him. Ahh!"

She lurched forward and ran to a sapling and lifted it from the roots. She swung it like a bat and it hurled through the air where it landed a few feet away from us.

"I know you're there," she whispered.

She turned and paced on the far side of the meadow. She walked a semi-circle, keeping a distance. "You should take her home where she'll be safe."

Unfortunately, Renesmee didn't agree and reached forward. How could I deny my daughter any longer? I carried her cautiously toward Bella and we stopped in the middle of the meadow, amongst the knee wildflowers.

"Take her back," she asked again.

"She doesn't want to be away from you. Neither do I."

"It's not safe," she murmured.

"There is no safer place than by your side. We belong together."

"I attacked Jacob and I almost attacked you. I don't want her to be next. "

"She is safe, Alice has seen it. As for Jacob, he asked for it. I was never in danger." Renesmee squirmed in my arms and reached for her mother.

"You know I can't control my emotions. I snapped. I could have killed him."

"I can rectify that."

"Edward!"

"He knew the risks and purposely goaded you. You did what I wanted to do for the last three days. But I'm not here to waste time having our first moments as a family ruined by him. Trust me Bella, you can handle this."

"You don't know that, Alice could be wrong."

"I know it because I know you. I know your kindness, your strength, your ability to love beyond reason. You have no sense of self preservation, especially when it comes to protecting those you love. We will always be safe with you."

She unconsciously paced near us, hesitant to look in our faces. She stopped a few inches away. She was so close. Her back was to us and a warm breeze waved her hair. Renesmee reached out to grab the loose tendrils and I did too. Her scent wafted around us and the soft strands fell away from our fingers as Bella pulled from our reach. It frustrated us, but we would wait.

Bella had ended all my loneliness and given me not only love but so much more – a family of our own. My one hundred and nine years of waiting was more than worth it, it was meant to be. The marvelous harpy fate pushed close to the edge, but never allowed our love to fail. Even Jacob was a part of the plan and I could not begrudge anything of the past, it brought us here - to our meadow, with our daughter. I had everything I never knew I wanted.

"I'm going to sit down now and I hope you will join us," I invited.

I bent by knees and placed the diaper bag on the ground. I unzipped it and pulled out the blanket I knew was there from Alice's earlier vision. More adept than any father of three days, I spread the red checkered cloth over the flowers and created a small floor. I sat with Renesmee in my lap.

_Mother_.

"She will join us soon," I comforted the impatient baby.

_Mother._

"Patience, Baby Dearest." I reached for the bag and retrieved a small toy, but Renesmee wasn't distracted. I laid her down on the blanket and she rolled her head to watch her mother.

Bella paced the meadow, quietly.

Renesmee kicked her legs and waved her arms around, as she tried to reach for Bella again. Since I had the baby on the blanket, I decided to change her diaper. I grabbed the wipes and pamper.

"What does she smell like?" I asked Bella as I removed the small baby bloomers that covered the diaper. I hoped this simple act would encourage Bella to join us. Bella stood still. I watched as her shoulders rose, taking in the air around her. _That's right, trust yourself to enjoy our scent._

"It's sweet and familiar. Nothing like earlier when we were hunting and I had to run away from the hikers. But . . ."

"Hmm." I flipped the soiled diaper to the side and with vampire speed, the baby was fresh as new. I pulled down the skirt of her sleeveless summer dress. "All better, my Baby Dearest?" I cooed to Renesmee. With her legs free, Renesmee kicked her feet out desperately trying to reach her mother.

Bella turned to face us. "I can hear her heartbeat and the blood flowing through her veins, it's not really appealing," she chimed. Bella slowly bent her knees and folded her legs down on her haunches with her hands on her knees. Her hands cupped her face and our eyes met. Her eyes locked on Renesmee.

_Trust yourself, Bella._

I took Renesmee's feet and circled them around one another. My eyes focused on Bella. "The wheels on the bus go round and round," I sang. Renesmee looked at me and smiled. I focused on my baby dearest. "We've got to give your mother a little time. Let's play." I continued singing. After three rounds, Renesmee bored and turned her head to her mother. I followed her gaze and watched as Bella sat on the edge of the blanket and cupped her hand to touch Renesmee's soft copper curls.

With that single touch, Bella wanted . . . more. She lifted up the baby and they fit together perfectly. I moved to Bella's side and wrapped my arm around her waist as she cradled Renesmee in her arms. Together we sat quietly, cuddling and sharing the first moments of our family. The sun dipped below the tree line and brought twilight to the meadow and the first stars to the sky.

"Twinkle, twinkle, little star . . ." Bella sang softly and I enthusiastically joined.

The End.

* * *

Amigas,

Thank you so much for reading, reviewing, favoriting this story. There will not be an epilogue.

I started writing this for my kid and now after nearly a year, I'm glad to mark the story as complete. When I look at the earlier chapters, I'm amazed at how awful I was. I'm glad I used SM's format, it helped with my writing process. I have found my voice and I will continue to write, but no more EPOV of SM's stories. I invite you to read my other stories.

Please take time to leave a comment.


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